Borderlands 2: Flipping the Bird

[Part of the Wasted Land story]

While exploring, we stumble upon Fink's Slaughterhouse which serves as an arena for the locals. Naturally we participate and thanks to the shiney gear DL has pulled and shared out using his golden keys (it gives super gear), smash through the first four rounds with only little difficulty. It's fun to make midgets bleeeed!

The fifth round is quite bad though with Jim and I both getting KO'ed but DL still manages to pull the win with his turret! Afterwards we head on to the Hyperion Wildlife Preservation Park to help Mordecai find his bird, which Hyperion had stolen from him recently. The park is like a zoo, only with monsters that are undergoing mutation testing - FOR SCIENCE!

With Mordecai providing flaccid sniper cover, we break in. Free the souls of the captive beasts and find his bird, which is now enlarged and evil! Despite our best efforts to save it by shooting it with bullets, Mordecai's bird explodes at the climax. He is left bitter and birdless.

In retaliation for this, we go back through the Wildlife Preservation Park to free all the trapped animals. It's a nice to have skags and stalkers on our side for a change! We also find a super helpful guy running an arena biome with said creatures.

He lets us free five rounds worth of the animals and even pays us to boot! The badass fire thresher in the last round manages to KO Jim, but he is freed too - just like his friends. Freed from all their suffering, freed to the great beyond! MUAHAHAHAHAHAH! *buzz saw sounds*

Roland then radios in and gets us to travel to the Thousand Cuts region to try make an alliance with the local bandits, "the Slabs", to unite against Hyperion. We diplomatically kill anyone who refuses to join. Eventually the Slab King, frenemy of Roland whom I shall dub "Slabby", officially agrees when the nearby "main" Hyperion base launches a full scale attack, sending the Slabs retreating to Sanctuary.

Yeah, nahhh... your name's Slabby mate.

Insight: Clusters of enemies are the best targets for a psychos buzz axe rampage. Each kill restores your health to full. Just remember to take cover again afterwards.

---

Blaugust Bonus: "If you had a mascot to represent you, what would it be?" -Rambling Redshirt

It's a shadow that you can only occasionally glimpse for a split second from the corner of your vision and also whispers things to your mind. Perhaps you've already encountered it before?

Borderlands 2: Overlooked Help

[Part of the Wasted Land story]

Only after dismantling another Hyperion facility and killing a Shai'hulud Thresher do we finally reach the Highlands that Sanctuary is floating over. Can't just warp to it though, no sir. For that we head to the village of Overlook to get the warp machine programmed properly, all while Hyperion sends more bots.

I get to really show off here, as all the enemies are clustering towards a fixed point we are meant to defend. DL and Jim get overwhelmed a lot, but rampaging through the enemy (in melee) keeps me aliiiiive! Hahaha I will kill your death! As expected the programming finishes after all the fighting, and we are free to teleport back to Sanctuary for a heroes welcome! Or... not. Actually I doubt most of these meat sacks realize the city is now airborne.

While the Crimson leadership continues to plan the next move, we're kept busy by a sudden influx of new jobs at the now flying Sanctuary, the highlights of which include finding a murderer in which we accuse the wrong suspect - letting the culprit get away, inviting people to Claptraps birthday party which no one attends, helping Ellie put an end to a gang war which we helped start, and retrieving a safe for Marcus from some big blue elemental which we abandon since it is immortal thanks to a bug.

The killer is one of those four guys...

We then return to the town of Overlook with Dr. Ned's meds to help them cure their brain disease then proceed to assemble a town encompassing shield to protect against further Hyperion attacks. Naturally this shield needs to be tested, so we raid the nearby Hyperion outpost and after breaking all the guardian mechs use their super mortar and fire it right at the town.

It goes as well as you might expect!

Insight: The only way to "fix" the blue monster was to leave the area and come back. We got him on our second visit.

---

Blaugust Bonus: "What skill do you want to improve on the most?" -Stingite

Currently, anything music related. Finding time to do that is really hard though... Maybe I should change that to focus on time management skill instead? :P

Borderlands 2: The Evil H

[Part of the Wasted Land story]

Claptrap docks the boat at some non-snowy wasteland and after murdering and dismembering politely asking the local banditry, we activate a catch-a-ride garage that can spit out cars like bubblegum!

Naturally, DL is great at driving. Takes Jim a few goes to get the hang of it though, especially with one hand in a bag of chips and the other on his beer. Gunner ports are the best fun for me. Run over some yetis and skag dogs while collecting power cells as a welcoming gift for Sanctuary.

The gunner seat is FUN!

Jim plugs them in just in time to power the city shields as the giant, floating H commences planetary bombardment... to no effect! Take that, you evil letter! Inside, Sanctuary is full of familiar feces. I mean faces. Mad Moxxi owns the bar, the unlicensed Dr. Zed practices in the clinic, Scooter tinkers in the garage, Marcus sells guns in person, and Dr. Patricia Tannis runs the Crimson Lance Raider HQ.

The only thing missing is its leader, Roland, so obviously us new guys are sent to find him. Oh, and to kill a bunch of assassins hiding in the nearby waterworks facility first. Those assassins are tough SOBs and have many, many friends. At least they are carrying shineys. As I often say "I like my treasure like I like my baby steaks, raaaaare..." 

Insight: You can deploy two vehicles at once and one of the customization options is the main gun. Generally things that go boom are preferred as the driver can always use the forward machine gun.

---

Blaugust Bonus: "What is some popular piece of content/media that seems to be universally loved that you have never been able to understand?" -Dragonray

Lock boxes and basically anything that you pay money for to get a random return - especially when the odds are highly obfuscated. I think anyone that spends money on such things are either incredibly rich and/or incredibly stupid. Also, it is definitely gambling and has no place in mediums that minors can access.

To a lesser extent, the same goes for grinding the same enemies or activities in game for a chance of an item. If I happen to be in the right spot at the right time, cool - I'll help defeat the whatever or run that instance. What I won't do is stay for hours doing the same thing all day everyday for loot. Once is enough. If I get cool gear from it, sweet. If not, too bad.

The only time I find myself repeating things these days is to practice to improve my own real life skills. Or you know, things I really, really enjoy. :P

Underworld / Evolution

[Day 8 of Blaugust 2015!]

Underworld

Proving that vampires and lycans CAN get along.

The vampires have hunted their racial enemies, the lycans, almost to extinction. Or so they thought. The gorgeous leather clad death dealer vampiress Selene (Kate Beckinsale) catches on to the ploy the lycans are undertaking but since her coven basically refuses to back her, she takes drastic measures to get them on side which inadvertently just makes things worse.

Fire and fangs!

The plot here focuses on a lot of action, effects and tons of violence with a dash of gore backed by a pretty good and tight story. All of it takes place at night, but that's understandable I suppose. Everyone is up to scratch acting wise, especially Bill Nighy's Viktor who is a fantastic character. It's also kinda funny to see Wentworth Miller with hair (he's just an extra in this film). Negatives wise, it's a little puzzling how vamps and lycans are really bad shots with firearms, and that Selene's autopistols don't need reloading more often. Also after the opening few minutes it seems the entire city is deserted of ordinary people which is somewhat odd.

Despite that this is a fantastic flick, one I give four and a half fangs out of five to and would definitely watch it again. If you haven't seen it already I suggest you do! Alas it is also the best in the Underworld series as things just go downhill from here. :P

~~~

Underworld: Evolution

Where no one asks how Hungary people are. No, that's not a typo.

The sequel of Underworld, this film begins with a flashback intro for the new, scary antagonist. It didn't need to be there but it works pretty well as an action opening and as an excuse for more Viktor (Bill Nighy) screentime which I give a huge thumbs up to. The rest of the film is also littered with flashbacks which isn't so great if you haven't seen the first one. Anyway, Selene (Kate Beckinsale) and her new ally are on the run from the new big bad but end up having to try stop him from unleashing something terrible on the world.

Oh he's not so bad...

There's a new faction introduced, a plot-device doohickey, and a good dose of amnesia in the plot which makes it somewhat clunky. Also, I'm somewhat confused as to the Hungarian(?) tavern scene as I didn't get the feeling that they traveled that far away from the initial mansion. Everyone else in the previous movie and in this movie speak English. Only the locals and authorities of that one place didn't. It was very odd.

I did quite like that those same locals are ironically -MUCH- better with firearms than both the vamps and lycans. Fortunately the action, violence, CGI and gore are still all up to scratch too, and the inclusion of daylight hours made for a good change. Not as good as the first movie but still a decent enough action flick, I still would watch it again and give it three fangs out of five.

Familiar Ground

My journal through Borderlands! You can follow the rest of the story here!

Taking an elevator to the surface the area looked instantly familiar - I was in Old Haven. Seems the Crimson Lance here were overrun by the undead and had now joined their numbers. Fortunately they didn't use their guns anymore! I eventually found my way to Dr. Ned's secret underground lab where I found a lot of proof that he was intentionally responsible for the zombie outbreak. With proof in hand I headed towards one of the Lance comm stations, making a slight detour when Dr. Ned's dead assistant, Bill, burst out of the ground to attack me. He was a huge green, angry man and it took quite a LOT of bullets to put him down.

He was -very- angry.

Upon arrival at the comm station I used their 56k relay to inform the Jakob's Corporation about Dr. Ned and to send help. They were impressed by my drive and hired me on to continue the investigation and were also sending a transport to get me out of there. Activating the landing beacon also drew out a lot of zombies unfortunately so I had to hole up in one of Marcus' old shops until the extraction vessel arrived, at which point I made a bolt for it - guns blazing for a quick escape.

Back at Jakob's Cove, a representative of Jakob's corp was there to give me another task: To meet up with another bunch of mercs called "the scooby gang" and then go hunt down Dr. Ned himself at the nearby lumber mill. I was also provided with an electronic key to get past some of the locked areas in that region. After some equipment repairs and restocking of ammo I headed out the town gates to put an end to this madness once and for all. Though, not sure how killing Dr. Ned would alleviate the zombie problem. :/

The Best Cure is Bullets

My journal through Borderlands! You can follow the rest of the story here!

Finally reached Dr. Ned's house and after waiting for a hand cranked lift (while fighting off more zombies) I managed to speak to him upclose. Pretty sure he was Dr. Zed with a fake mustache. Regardless he said he was working on a skag-based cure at the local hospital which might be helpful against this outbreak and sent me to get it. On the way I managed to collect a bunch of corpse eater eggs for a different contract then found myself at the Generally Hospital, which happened to be on a hill surrounded by a cemetery. Great.

Nothing can go wrong.

Burned my way up the hill only to be contronted by a hat-wearing were-skag who wasn't that hard to defeat, then collected the not very effective antidote sample (since it turned people into wereskags). While in the area I also came across evidence of another hunter, a priest, who was looking to purge the evil here by himself but instead wound up bitten. Sure enough he too was a were-skag and had made a small pack for himself near the shore. Fighting them was a little troublesome since they would grow larger near death and regenerate to full, but with quick feet I was still able to turn all of them to ash before they could spread their disease any further.

Also on the shore I encountered more flocks of corpse eaters and skelerakks (starved rakks) which I eliminated before returning to Jakob's Cove. Back in town the local Claptrap had been hacked (by Marcus) informing me that Dr. Ned is not who he says he is (the mustache didn't give it away or anything) and that he has a secret lab nearby. I go to check it out and it is a little boat... with coordinates. I punched the go button and soon found myself pulling into an underground facility. Dead Crimson Lance bodies nearby did not bode well.

Intentional Miscommunications

My journal through Borderlands! You can follow the rest of the story here!

It felt wierd going through the Crimson Lance base with my autopistol, but I was getting the hang of their tactics given the number of soldiers that kept getting in my way. I found Dr. Tannis locked up in one of the cells and she apologized for tricking me, saying she had no choice. Fair enough, given that the Lance are actually her employers. Anyway Commandant Steele has taken the key and is off to the vault but I first have to re-establish the comm array they shut down.

This isn't that hard to do since those guardian ghost things seem to also be attacking the outer base, freeing me up to get to each comm tower. Once that's done I free Tannis and she tells me where the vault is. The strange vision of that woman appears again telling me to hurry, to reach it before Steele can open it so I make a beeline straight for the marker, fighting past a small contigent of Lance troops before reaching a long descending cave. More guardian things are in here but I've brought my "lightning" SMG to deal with their tough shields. Marcus is a genious when it comes to weaponizing artifacts from the zone.

As I went deeper battles between Lance and guardian forces became plentiful, but the voice compelled me to be quick so I sprinted past them into some snowy ruins where again I only put down the foes that needed putting down. Eventually I finally reached the vault arch where Commandant Steele was waiting for me. I was too late, the vault was opening... and its untold riches were - a lie! Instead a monstrous tentacle beast emerged killing Steele and her remaining troops leaving me to fight the creature on my own.

Crap.

After an obscene amount of bullets the creature finally died and the vision of the mysterious woman thanked me for my services. Damn it, this whole time she was just a powerful controller. I pocketed the now useless vault key and took my reward of empty ammo clips and numerous cuts and bruises back to New Haven via a Crimson Lance controlled teleporter anomaly.

There can be only One

My journal through Borderlands! You can follow the rest of the story here!

Baron Flynt detected my arrival at the Salt Flats early and egged me on to come face him. I guess he was a little pissed I've been killing his dudes. Not wanting to disappoint I drove right up to his base, a huge abandoned mining machine, killed his vehicle patrols and base guards then went up to kill his bodyguards and finally him too. Even his rocket revolver couldn't stand up to me. However it was then that I learned I had been betrayed - the self appointed Baron didn't have any artifacts at all!

Commandant Steele or the Crimson Lance radioed in to clear up any confusion, stating Dr. Tannis was working for her. Marcus was wondering who had been supplying the good doctor since it wasn't him. Anyway Steele hoped that Flynt and I would eliminate each other but seeing that I'm alive, she just warned me to stay away before shutting down the communications of the entire region. Obviously that wasn't going to happen. I had planted a bug on Tannis the first time I met her, only an idiot would "give" away artifacts freely.

The blips led me to a heavily fortified Lance outpost. Fortunately there was a convenient "back door" cave nearby which I opted to use instead of the frontal attack. The cave was crawling with spiderants but they weren't that troublesome for my autorifle. I had to switch to my autopistol when I neared the Lance facility though since Master McCloud and two of his buddies attempted to stop me. The trio put up a good fight, but in the end I was the last one standing (and not a melted pile of goo on the floor).

I should have gotten a Quickening!

Sherrif of the Wastes

My journal through Borderlands! You can follow the rest of the story here!

Back in New Haven I picked up more jobs, one from the bus driver/gun smuggler Marcus who is upset the bandits aren't purchasing his wares! Well, I decided to help him since Taylor's "reward" for me was just a crate full of murderers. Mayor Helena wants me to go remove him now too since he poses a threat to the town, as well as a fella named One-Eyed Jack who seems to be the reason Marcus' goods aren't moving anywhere. Taylor was only a little more dangerous than his brother, having a stronger gang, stronger gun, and emplaced turrets to defend him but I still put an explosive round in his face.

As for One-Eyed Jack, he didn't see me coming when I ran him over with my vehicle for an instant kill. I followed this up by heading over to Treachers Landing to collect some freshly dynamited fish and to sink three bandit barges there before checking into a new arena in the Rust Commons East that I had missed, run by the brother of the other arena owner.

Or maybe it's the same guy.

I was expecting spiderants or scythids to be his "pets" but it turns out each round was filled with psychos and bandits. After three rounds I had killed so many of them that he no longer wanted my participation in his ring. I had half a mind to shoot the man but if he manages to lock those scum up somehow he must be doing something right.

Bus to the Badlands

My journal through Borderlands! You can follow the rest of the story here!

My guildie Wro got me this game a long while ago but I've only now gotten around to releasing it from my stockpile. Since the setting to Stalker is similar enough I thought I'd continue the tale here. :)

The next morning an armored bus came into town, driven by one jolly fat and bearded russian (obviously) named Marcus. He was stocking up on supplies before heading out to the Badlands and was willing to take on passengers for a fee. Having grown tried of the miserable cold in this region I took him up on his offer, along with a handful of other wanderers. It was a long drive down from the mountains and well into the night through the mostly empty highway. Apart from the radio music no one really spoke much leaving me to fall asleep. That's when I had a vision of a mysterious woman telling me to find something called "the vault".

I woke up with a start as the bus had hit some animal on the road. Peering outside I noticed that gone were the tall pines and lush forests, replaced by a sea of sand and stone. I suspect Marcus drove through a stationary teleporter anomaly to cover the distance so quickly. Following my dream I told the bus man I would get off at the next stop which happened to be a small delapidated village called Fyrestone. The heat as I disembarked was oppresive, and it took sometime before my eyes grew accustomed to the bright light.

 As I watched the bus drive off I suddenly heard a small funny voice from the otherside of the road saying "See ya next time!". I turned to see a small box on wheels waving at the bus - a robot!

It dances too! :)

It introduced itself as Claptrap and astonished at this advanced technology I followed the little robot towards the town but as we approached we found it under attack by armed bandits. With a sigh I readied my autorifle and switched the safety off. Seems like some things never change.