Drowning in too many things

Hmm, that's actually a good title for a de-cluttering type of post but it's actually just the continuation of my work overload. On the plus side, I've found a good set of youtube tracks to listen to that gets me in the working mood. AI generated cyberpunk synth music? It's pretty cool.

Here are a few of my regulars:
1999 - Drift into Memory 
2088 - Protocol: Airstrike
1999 - Momentum Over Fear 
1996 - Neural Link Broken
1989 - Walk Through Fire

The Friday night game sessions are currently Ready or Not, which is a FPS law enforcement game that reminds me a lot of SWAT3. DL has a video of one of our play throughs of that for those who prefer a more visual stimulus. :) 

More than Nothing: Skydagger

[Part of the Party Time journal]

The squad remains at Hazelbrook for months until a message via raven suddenly arrives instructing them to destroy the Hazelbrook bridge that fords a deep and wide ravine. The get to it immediately, witnessing a small squad of crusaders fleeing from a massive dust cloud caused by a horde of cavalry of the Wang Dynasty. They get the squad across the bridge before collapsing it, dropping some of the pursuers to their deaths below. 

From across the chasm, general Wang Bang mocks them - showing off his coin-sword and the head of Ino Imzoro, promising to make their whole nation bow to the mighty Wang - the descendants of the Bhir'Beli Tigidig worshipers, before leading his horsemen away. The survivors tell them they are the last of Ino's crusaders, having been wiped out by the Wangs who were also purging the worm worshipers of El Kanadar from their end. 

At least there were survivors - which is more than nothing, but knowing they can't hope to survive against that number of enemies without a strategic advantage, the squad and their 35 allies quickly make their way back towards Skydagger - losing five to the giant cats in a rainy, red leaf forest as they opt to go fast instead of safe.

They then travel through a large underground cave of giant spiders but don't linger, also bypassing a supposedly abandoned prison but flickering lights in the windows and screams from within indicate otherwise. They deftly dodge pit traps around the facility, even pulling an escapee to freedom who joins them: the clockwork knight Kenrick! 

Finally they make it to the ruined Skydagger fortress and spend their time currency to train, rest up, and build walls and a siege engine just before the horde of horsemen arrive in waves. Moomba's archer team and Ughhh's siege weaponry hold most of the enemy at bay though the few that make it do kill some of the defenders. At the end, General Wang Bang himself appears and eliminates an ambush squad who waited the whole time for him (coin sword is a coin toss) but an arrow finally puts down the general ending the threat. Ever Worthlessman is among the 17 allies that died in battle.

Eventually they are reinforced by Aeternian's reserves and return to their homes as heroes. For a time.

[Inspiration from Band of Blades]

More than Nothing: Crusaders

[Part of the Party Time journal]

Ughhh's direct approach to the rescue attempt leads to a brief melee which involves Jerghon G pole vaulting over Walram's guards to hold the Lord at sword point, but the skirmish is interupted by the arrival of of a massive army of crusaders led by Yuno Imzoro and his nephew, the famously best swordsman in Aeternia who wields the magical coin-sword - Ino Imzoro.

By decree of the new Papa Smorfonof (aka Papa Smurf) all Aeternians from the lowest slaves to highest lords must join the holy crusade against the worm worshipers of El Kanadar to the East. Lord Teck tries to talk his way out of it and by doing so is found guilty of heresy and put to the stake (he is impaled upon it and set alight). No one else questions the order after that and our teenage heroes and their friends join as camp followers, doing menial tasks of cooking and cleaning while also receiving basic training as the massive host easily makes ground into heretic lands.

Only upon reaching the natural bottleneck between Aeternia and El Kanadar, the foolishly abandoned stone ruins of Skydagger fortress in a narrow mountain pass, do they receive their crusader mantle and are sent to into missions, the first being an easy one where Ughhh critically succeeds in convincing a village converted into a field hospital to basically convert religion and aid them.

Their next task is liberating the mining town of Karel where Jerghon G and Raah-Min sneak upon the fortress past inattentive guards and jam their gate, letting the others easily free the enslaved miners in the work site outside and with bolstered numbers the fortress soldiers surrender on the spot.

Finally they reach El Kanadar's Capital of Rakash where they are hand picked by Yuno Imzoro to join him in a heroic charge - just the five of them against the full enemy line - to prove the might of Numero Uno. It doesn't go well as their horses are brought low by enemy archers mere meters away from the enemy infantry and leaving them very far from support. Yuno is hurt severely but Ughhh goes out of his way to defend the man while Moomba takes out the enemy worm caster leader. 

They manage to hold until Ino brings up the infantry who then win the day with heavy losses, a result he squarely blames the party on. As such he stations them and a small squad at the seemingly insignificant hamlet with of Hazelbrook while he continues  the crusade to the East, but that location will soon prove to be more than nothing. 

[Inspiration from Darklands and  Lost Eidolons]

More than Nothing: The Artorias Interlude

[Part of the Party Time journal]

Praetor Artorias' campaign at Caphtor ended in disaster. Of the five ships he sent, only nine people returned - four of whom were prisoners and soldiers of his rival Empress Palisa, and one a foreign violet knight named Dorza. While they were sent to be reconditioned to serve in his army, he questioned the remaining survivors about the events that led to this loss, including the great beam of light shooting up from the island and making it vanish as well as what transpired to turn the sun into a cold, dull blue color...

After being separated by a thick fog, Rowina, Yuriet, Waywocket and Dorza managed to regroup - collecting four bound and sleeping prisoners on a hilltop, but with no initial sign of the others they decided to make their way back to the beach head camp being established by Eagley and Lord Moroney. 

Meanwhile Il'bakstabyo alone, witnessed the growing sun gain a horrific looking face, a huge humanoid body and began to start eating everything in its path. As his sanity slipped away Il'bakstabyo then heard a strange song, and witnessed what looked to be Jerghonson with a golden clarinet battle the sun using his music, causing the sun to scream in a beam of light into the heavens until it shriveled up, turning blue and retreated back into the sky. 

The others found Il'bakstabyo sometime later crying and curled into a ball and took him with them back to the landing site where they discovered the camp being annihilated by a hydra. Rowina the acrobat had come across a magical coin-sword in the fog, and managed to use it to slay the beast but not before it killed everyone else in camp. Fleeing on a small craft they set out into the misty waters but upon looking back the island had simply vanished...

After sending the insane Il'bakstabyo out into the wilderness as he had no more use for him, Artorias took the coin-sword from Rowina and made her as well as the other two survivors, Yuriet and Waywocket, generals in his small army to take Aeterna's throne in Crown City. To make up their weak numbers, Waywocket suggested legitimizing and joining the oppressed Numerologist religion whose hordes of practitioners made up the vast majority in the city (the slaves and servant population, who numbered vastly more than nothing).

The ploy worked and the city defenders couldn't win a battle from forces outside and within, and Artorias took the throne... but soon the Numerologists elected their own leader: "The Dos" who alone could hear the voice of Numero Uno. Papa Petrus was the first Dos and it quickly became clear that Artorias could not hold onto power without the Papa's say so. Over the next few years the Papa's power and influence grew while that of Artorias waned into comical relief as his own troops and generals had no control over the fervorous Numeroligist believers.

Years later we find our new heroes, a band of Aeternian teens: Raah-min the Great Grand Daughter of Aah (Rose), Moomba the grand daughter of Mamita (Mom), Ughhh the Great Grand son of Ughh (Juris), and Jerghon G the grandson of Jerghonson the Great (DL) following their friend, Ever Worthlessman, through the forest to the small wooden fortress of Walram Teck to free their other teenage friends Lord Teck has taken a fancy to.

[Inspired by Constantine the Great] 

More than Nothing: Total Party Wipe

[Part of the Party Time journal]

The boss battle ensues and its a long one because the current heroes have a dwindling supply of re-roll coins and gear while their opponents ALSO use plot armor to avoid damage. In the end, its almost plot armoring the whole way to see who runs out of it first! [GM Note: As fun as this was for me, it made the fight really drag out so I'm not doing that again :P]

Plot armor:

Master Miner Mama: remembered her neighbor Chitty Chatty noticed her try to hide the gem she found on her land (while helping her plant crops) and demanded to see it as it should be hers. Mama refused and kept the gem. She also had a knack for digging up things ever since she was little, always carrying an earth worm with her. Her past works in other mines didn't pay too well so she began digging into graves of the dead to fund her addiction of cocaine!

Jerghon the Great: was once a decorated and faithful warrior but was no longer fit for the field after developing blood lust!

Mamita: remembered her child hood friend "a bird" who she could finally be around and got into all sorts of fun and trouble with them, finding a feather of a raven together and apparently getting into trouble for painting "a bird", which "a bird" somehow escaped. This is because Mamita realized that "a bird" was just a figment of her imagination and she was alone the whole time. Later on though she befriended Bob the Blacksmith who had a shared interest in birds.

Ughh: remembered his time as a Partopian police with recruit Joseph the Unfair where the team crashed a fireman's protection racket, let go a perfumer whose crime was fleeing from an arranged marriage with an ill-reputable whore monger, and let Joseph kill a thief who suggested he might have information about Joseph the Unfair he wanted to trade for his freedom. Joseph later admits that he was a horse breeder whose prized stallions were seized by the torturous Aeternan cavalry without payment and he enlisted to get them back, planning to desert with his entire herd at an opportune moment. Despite knowing this treason is punishable by death Ughh helped him.

Ughh then recalled the last party he got absolutely drunk / wasted in, apparently it was in a high tree with plenty of his favorite addiction to partake in: nuts. He also hit it off well with "a bird".

Aah: remembered when she learned a market vendor owed her caretaker Governor Quintus some money, and one day saw said vendor leave a bag of money at the market when packing up. She gave the bag to the vendor but reminded them of the debt owed, it was more than nothing. Later she learned Quintus was regularly stealing from the people and she testified against him to be free of him.

Then during her time as Partopian police she arrested a merchant trying to be "helpful" by sending poisoned food parcels to a plagued village as well as his poison supplier, a doctor trying to cure the plague who was stealing bodies from a graveyard and created the poison as a byproduct of her research.

When she was sent to clear out some "demons" in the sewers that just turned out to be narcotic indulging squatters, she gave them a warning to move on before the next one sent in would come to kill them. One of the squatters was Suri, an eight year old girl who wanted vengeance on a silk merchant she claimed killed her family. Aah tried to dissuade her but later found the silk merchant dead and witnesses reporting that they saw a giant spider transform back into a little girl fleeing from the scene. Aah secretly helped Suri and kept her this whole time (in small spider form in her pack) and unleashed her into battle!

Jerghonson: remembered his sibling rival Jimgon died saving his life against a mighty demon and then during his time as Partopian police investigated a stone mason carving cursed runes into the foundations of a number of villas, causing giant rats to appear within. He let the man go in exchange for being introduced to someone with greater power - a toweringly tall man with rotting skin and a horrifying mask who granted him his magical desire: a golden clarinet of sleep, which he had kept hidden all this time because of his uncontrollable urge to keep playing it if he started.

The End Result...

With things going poorly Jerghonson pulled out the golden clarinet and put everyone to sleep, tying up the four champions of the Empress. Then, he wandered towards the city as did his companions (when they awoke) but thanks to the thick magical fog found themselves each arriving alone...

Mamita found herself on an open plain where she was utterly certain that was where the City would be built, and would grow with the right rulers. She stayed to become a founder.

Aah made it to a city of colored lights, strange machines, and discordant music of the future.

Jerghonson found himself underneath a roaring liquid light (space shuttle / missile about to take off) so he fled to continue playing his golden clarinet. Forever.

Ughh saw the city vanish like a mirage and clearly saw the truth that the City was a lie. Then he put on the cursed crown of headsplosions and killed himself.

[Inspired by Mythic Bastionland]  

More than Nothing: At the Edge of the City

[Part of the Party Time journal]

Traveling away from Highthrone the company come across a giant wall at the border of Ruskyn's territory under attack by the Boulder Knight (he's the basically the Juggernaut) who breaches it while backed by the horde knight Valamonde whose clones make up the bulk of the rest of the attacking force. Jerghonson trips the boulder knight and Aah smashes his face in with the dust knight's old hammer, killing the brute. Most of the Valamondes are slain as well, at the cost of Orwan and the soldier Crixus. 

They follow the fleeing Valamonde's back to the Ridgeline outpost expecting a fight but the leader there, Lady Dorza the Violet Knight lets them in to rest on the condition she can go with them to find the city and get rid of her seemingly useless (but also more than nothing) ultra-violet light powers that only she and a few animals like bees can detect. They agree to these terms. 

Once on the road again they meet another knight going the opposite way telling them to turn back as the city is just going to deny them as it did her with a great fog. She continues that its just around the corner before sulking off before a flying fortress arrives in the sky, broadcasting the message "do not interfere with the destiny of the realm" before bombing the entire region!

Lucky Wazzletard covers the company from and damage and while the landscape is destroyed, they see a long dark tunnel on the other side of which looks like the city as Dorza remembers it. As Wazzletard cannot fit within, they let the bird go before proceeding inside and half way through it fills with smoke and a small light appears in the distance as well as a loud "CHOO CHOO" sound. 

They quickly press themselves against a wall and let the train pass before running for the exit. In the thick smoke they lose track of all their companions and instead find themselves on a hill - beyond which is a city of colored lights and brick towers. Four other individuals who look like themselves, just older, block the way. They are Ugh, Sith, Mama, and Jerghon the Great (the previous player characters) who have been sent here to secure the source of magic for Empress Palisa of Goatgetterville, rival of Praetor Artorias! With similar orders neither group can leave the other alive!

[Inspired by Mythic Bastionland]  

More than Nothing: Highthrone

[Part of the Party Time journal]

Resting up again at the Temple of Stillness, Mirror Knight Gowere lets the party meet a hologram of Halo Knight Ruskyn who offers them paid mercenary work (in the form of reroll coins) for keeping peace on the island - telling them of the secret signal his allies will use to indicate such (by touching their nose twice). This meeting is interrupted by the Bell Knight Dame Dellakar seeking aid against a mushroom uprising and they assist, losing two soldiers to the cordyceps mummies before dousing their source, a death-farting candleshroom. 

They proceed onto the now empty Echo cave save for the guardian wraith within, which has no chance against Jergonson's god spear, to retrieve an indigo tapestry for Dellakar. She claims she was getting visions that the tapestry would take her to the city and upon wearing it she vanishes! This doesn't help our heroes though who continue on the road and accept a job from the pillar wielding rune knight Myghal to defend Highthrone against a number of beasts sent by the dust knight - one of Ruskyn's enemies who seeks throne. 

The first is a gargoyle who manages to petrify Orwan so they spend some time getting him unstoned which involves burying his statue then putting a chicken egg on it, waiting 24 hours without looking at it for it to hatch a brand new Orwan, albeit more chickeny. The next beast is a Wyvern who is easily baited and slain, then a lion that can shoot lazers that kills four more soldiers, and shortly after a great flaming eagle but "I am bright!" from Aah blinds it and a critical arrow from Mamita finishes it before they reach the dust knight's garbage fortress. This lone enemy manages to magically force all the fluids out of one more soldier (yeah, that's fatal) before he is slain by overwhelming numbers. 

Myghal leaves the party at Highthrone where they rest up and Mamita collects the handsome reward from Ruskyn while Aah and Jerghonson  participate in a tourney against some clockwork knights. The last surviving robot, Kenrick, surrenders against its master tinkerer's wishes. It then kills its cruel creator to prove it's more than nothing and begs to join the team, which Jerghonson and Aah accept.

Meanwhile Ughh assists the pigeon knight Jacobin look for a cursed crown which turns out to be easy to find. He lets Jacobin put it on which instantly drives him insane, making him mutter "the city is a lie" over and over before his head explodes. Ughh takes the crown and passes a will check to resist the temptaion to put it on. He then also befriends a mistreated giant worker bird called Wazzletard (because that's the only sound it makes), and buys it from its cruel boss to join the party.

[Inspired by Mythic Bastionland]  

More than Nothing: The Dead Lands

[Part of the Party Time journal]

Exiled from the village the company marches on and witnesses a strange sight in that the sun begins to glow extra bright and stays in the sky for a really long time. Suddenly a trio of law sergeants appear and hand Mamita a warning that she is to be called for judgement for the crime of "existence" when the time is right, and briefly abduct Jerghonson (via teleportation cloud) to their master, the giant robed judge Ambrageft who tasks him as being witness and answer a single question: "Does Mamita exist?". Jergonson says yes, and is returned to his team instantly.

Unnerved at all the strangeness they push on to an area of giant mausoleums and graves where they get temporarily trapped in a section of huge flagstones with weeping, salty rain and intense depression that's more than nothing. The weeping knight Orwan, who has been stuck there for a long time, tells them that they have stumbled into the realm of the shadow seer who rejoices in misery. Jerghonson takes it upon himself to find said seer and despite bad odds slays him with the god spear, burning many of the teams "reroll coins" to do so. Freed from the endless rain zone, Orwan joins them as he too seeks to find the city to gain magical powers.

Further in the dead zone they find bone knight Ezter whom they assist in fighting a moving river of bones that form into skeletons. A pair of scout sisters arrive after the battle to warn them more undead are being released from Echo cave and request help but as the company is very beat at this point and unable to rest due to the island's oppressive fog and endless sun light, refuse - leaving Ezter as their only volunteer as they part ways.

The company finally make it to the Temple of Stillness where they meet Gowere the mirror knight, lord of the dead lands who claims to be able to speak with the dead and lets them rest under his protection. He also gives directions to Highthrone, the richest part of the island but they don't get far before finding the scout sisters arguing heatedly between themselves, believing that the other is a shapeshifter from the stars. While Jerghonson talks them out of it (and learns Ezter has perished), Mamita almost has her club stolen from her by a goofy fungus shroom man. 

After she hits it, it runs off with its friends but Ughh and the three Pale-dogs give chase - catching up after running a good distance. Destroying the creatures causes an earthquake that summons a fungus tower from which emerges a Fungal Knight who slays the three Pale-dogs and nearly kills Ughh as well before he manages to use his "colony of possums" ability to tear the knight into pieces. With him nearly dead, they retreat to back to the Temple of Stillness to recover once again.

Ughh needed to use plot armor in this battle: recalling he was previously assigned with a rooking guardsman "Joseph the Unfair" to arrest a fraudster artisan making poor quality gear he was trying to pass off as "magical".

[Inspired by Mythic Bastionland]  

More than Nothing: In Search of Magic

[Part of the Party Time journal]

Praetor Artorias arrives at Drystan with a few more troops including horny priest Carpef, three Pale-dogs gang members and Il'bakstabyo to join the PC's regiment who are then free to load up with any gear before they want (as well as eight "coins" from their collection travels which serve as free rerolls) before being sent as part of five boat load of troops to the island of Caphtor, rumored to be a source of magic, the type of rumors that have to be more than nothing. Their mission is to claim this magic power for Praetor Artorias' cause and more importantly stop others (mainly his rivals for the still empty throne of Aeternia) from gaining it.

The fleet navigates through the misty waters just fine and upon arrival Eagley and Lord Jhonen start setting up a base camp on the beach with majority of the troops while Mamita leads her twenty two man squad to start exploration, defeating a strange and hostile puddle jumping knight and receiving an ominous warning about a Hydra rising that only "the coin knight" might have a chance of slaying before she dies.

As dusk falls they enter some woods and assist a small forest village defeat a vampire attack but the cowardly villagers have no answers for them in regards to their quest, other than "the magic knights come from the city", so they push onto some farmland destroyed by a huge crater, within which a pair of giant tigers tied to a chariot munch on farm animals. The charioteer challenges them to combat but a low initiative draw for him sees his tigers easily dispatched by the soldiers while Jerghonson himself uses the god spear to shatter through the chariot and the charioteer in one powerful thrust, killing him.

Continuing towards a main farming village there is a minor altercation where the squad is accused of slaying a celebrated green bull, but upon explaining to their ultra muscular leader Hyga that it was the work of winged fiends (who no one else has seen) and showing the claw marks she believes them and invites them to stay, provided one of the males of their number spend the night with her. Horny priest Carpef eagerly volunteers.

In the early hours of the morning Mamita, standing watch, sees a pair of winged fiends - the same type that killed the green bull - fly to Hyga's house so she wakes her companions and investigates, finding that Hyga is feasting on Carpef's naked corpse with the two demon like creatures! She and Jerghonson take down the demons while Ughh stabs Hyga through the neck, breaking his sword in the process but it isn't enough to kill her so Aah sets her and her house on fire, which finishes the job. It also gets them banished from the place by the remaining villagers, as again they have no proof of their monstrous claims. They accept this decision and move on.

[Inspired by Mythic Bastionland] 

More than Nothing: Finding Warmth

[Part of the Party Time journal]

On the other side of the forest the team makes their way up the Stone Dragon mountain where Eagley says the profitable pink salt trade has stopped for some reason. Asking at a tribal camp they learn it was due to the sudden appearance of Mikra (abominable snow men things) after an earthquake. Rather than ask any more questions they start heading up the snow covered mountain (Eagley buys them warm coats) and ignore a wind-blocking campsite (with dead bodies under the snow) to forge on into the night and howling winds - taking cold damage as they do so. A lot more than nothing.

Half a dozen Mikra appear and are slain just before the PCs start dying themselves, and Jerghonson has the great idea of pulling the corpses together and sleeping inside them for warmth (like Star Wars). The next morning Bal Bahadur and four assistants find them and declares he's going to solve the Mikra issue, asking for their help, offering 1% of the future pink salt profit and shared credit for their troubles. Aah convinces him (with a good dice roll) to make that 90% of the profit but he can keep all the credit. At the summit they find a dark cave in the rock face where no doubt the Mikra are coming from and so work to collapse it - doing so before the sun sets again.

They manage to make it back to the village where Bal declares the threat ended and pays the team their earnings. They and Eagley quickly get out of there in case Bal's over confidence is unfounded. Their last stop is the town of Drystan, near a swamp. Luckily its leader, Lord Moroney - the best physician in the region (I introduced him accidentally killing someone who had a cold), is already an ally to Praetor Artorias and outfits them with better arms and armor. While waiting for the Praetor to arrive he asks they look into the "toad demon" tribe in the swamps who have recently become organized and have started kidnapping his townsfolk in raid. They also all seem to only have one hand?

The squad finds them easily enough in their swamp. Hundreds of them. Jerghonson prays to Luna for assistance and this time becomes a big wolf himself, then howls to get majority of the tribesmen chasing him (in vain, he's too fast as a wolf) while the rest circle around to an important looking ruin where they fight more tribals and hand-spiders (Mamita again leading a good spear throw), rescue the now handless victims, and slay their leader (Mamita and Ughh snipe him) - who turns out to be caravaner Jhonen!? The remaining tribesmen lose all cohesion and don't give chase.

Returning to Drystan with the captives they learn Jhonen always had it out for Moroney, as Moroney was unable to cure Jhonen's wife of a sickness (probably also a cold).

[Inspired by Stone Dragon Mountain and Beneath the Black Water from RuneQuest 6 - Book of Quests] 

More than Nothing: A Tale of Creatures

[Part of the Party Time journal]

At the next stop of Wallen they learn bandits had recently robbed them and kidnapped purple haired Pellestina, so they go track and take them down which was easy because they were all drunk and celebrating a big pay day for selling the woman to the Brown Buzzard who lairs further in the woods. Despite already having the money, the continue on to try rescue the girl finding strange violent hooded men who speak in buzzes and explode into bee swarms when "slain". 

The swarms eventually leave and the team finds Pellestina tied by vines in the hollow of a tree. The woman pleads to be taking back to her village but also starts speaking in buzzes. Ughh tells everyone to leave first and blind folds the woman before using "his knowledge of being a colony of possums" to "possum-no-jutsu-massage" the bees out of her, saving her life!

Upon returning to Eagley, Aah assists in fighting off a few more attackers then learns that some of their soldiers have deserted - especially after finding out what Eagley did to "take care" of the previous troublemaker. With a number of arrested bandits now in tow, Eagley also sends a squad of soldiers to take the prisoners back to Partopia while they press on into the lands of Goatgetterville ruled by Empress Palisa. It's well known that she was in love with the late Aeternan Emperor Julian and that she would be also working on her own claim to the throne so Eagley suggests of an opportunity to support a drug trafficker in the capital city which would benefit them and hurt her in a more than nothing manner. The team flatly disagrees and bypasses her city altogether and continue onto Twain.

En route, Aah saves a little girl who had snuck into the tomb of Ug "father of the pack", from its resident Jba'fofi (giant spider). The over a hundred years old leader of Twain, Jerg, thanks them and lets them rest in town but says they have no funds to give as the Empresses' tax men have already come. There's supposedly treasure in a canyon tomb nearby, which is where he sent the other tax men, but the team have no interest in confronting them. Jerg then tells them that a now "over" protective magical statue (constructed by a wastard / "a son of a witch" hired by Mama Yapa) blocks the way between Twain and Goatgetter village, making trade difficult. Magical waves of force push people back but Aah is the one who finally reaches the thing and deactivates it.

In thanks, Ma, the new leader of Goatgetter Village provides them with spears and funding. She also warns them of the dangerous forest they plan to travel to next but it doesn't stop them from going right down the middle of it to a large clearing where the corpse of a giant rainbow snake is pinned to the ground with a spear. Angry apes soon surround them, confirming that they slew their own god for demanding too much tribute, and they don't let any who enter their territory survive. Mamita leads the troops in an excellent spear throw, keeping nullifying the first wave of apes while Jerghonson rushes up the giant snake corpse and pulls the god spear.

Suddenly the great snake QQ quickly regenerates and in a rage begins to wipe out the apes. Eagley gets everyone moving before it turns on them!

[Inspired by On the Slaughterfront and Tiny Tina's Wonderlands] 

More than Nothing: Bad Allies

[Part of the Party Time journal]

Outside town the team group up with seasoned tax collector Eagley, who acts as their guide. While he and the rest of the squad guard the treasure box it is up to the four PCs to actually do the collecting - starting with the dirty pig village of Thorsen, where leader Rorke's plan to make them go through some humiliating trial for taking his daughter with them previously is foiled by Ughh who manages to simply threaten payment out of them.

Their next stop is a small "hippie" berry-eating community of Gossett whose sing songy spokesperson Dylmah says all their money went with some of the young folk to pay a hermit deeper in the woods to learn how to hunt. None of them have returned. Ughh forces Dylmah to take them there in a thunderstorm and sure enough in a rickety old shack is Rash the hermit who admits all of the rookies became prey to the many wolves around. Aah convinces him for a more than nothing refund which he obliges to, but on their way out they are surrounded by wolves and Rash himself transforms into a werewolf!

Jerghonson manages to summon Luna again who charges Rash back into and through his hut (no trace of either of them after) while the others fend off the wolves, with the few remaining ones running away. Ughh breaks Dylmah's legs there for leading them into a trap and wishes her luck making it back on her own. 

Returning back to Eagley they find their convoy had repelled an attack, but one of their members (a convicted judge who took bribes) is missing. It doesn't take long to find him being eaten by one of their cannibal allies who they then arrest, but the cannibal claims innocence - he didn't kill the man, he was just hungry. Mamita does note there is a single puncture mark in the victim's neck, which leads to another of their ex-con soldiers who happens to be knitting at the time - a woman who was jailed for poisoning her husband (and many others). She says the ex-judge had it coming since he was the one who found her guilty. They tell Eagley about it and he says he'll deal with it.

After resting up at a road side inn and declining to stay for the evening wrestling match that might earn more gold, they find the poisoner missing and Eagley confirming not to worry about her and that he "dealt with it".

Plot armor was used!

Jerghonson remembers how his brother and biggest rival Jimgon managed to solve a maze puzzle faster than he did by "following the right wall" and how Jimgon could always go past his limits to beat him physically as well.

Ughh remembers that while he looks like a person he isn't one - he replaced the real Ughh in the forest years ago. In reality he's actually a hivemind colony of possums.

[Inspired by Danegeld] 

More than Nothing: Back to Partopia

[Part of the Party Time journal]

Soon a messenger bird arrives with orders that splits the team. Ughh and Aah stay with the dig team who uncover a giant hand behind a stone door that squishes 12 of the miners before it is defeated, while Mamita and Jerghonson along with half the soldiers go to the mining town of Jellyroll which is in threat of being overrun by Bhir'Beli forces. They are to hold the line until reinforcements arrive.

Upon arriving the mine leader tricks them and locks them in one of the mine shafts though, saying they've already made a deal with the Bhir'Belians and handing them over to the invaders (due to arrive soon) will do much to foster relations with them. Leaving them there Jerghonson prays to his moon goddess Luna (chosen upon character creation) who hears his call, appearing as a giant wolf that occupies most of the tunnels. She mauls a lone guard and opens the gate before wandering off. 

Rather than escape, the team digs pit traps in the mine and waits in hiding along side passages. The ambush is successful when the mine leader and Bhir'Beli advance party arrive, and only one Bhir'Beli soldier manages to escape to his horse and flee with incredible speed. Jerghonson then takes the mine leaders head and threatens the remaining Jellyroll citizens who then all scatter and flee, knowing the punishment for treason: it's a lot more than nothing.

Soon enough a new regiment from Partopia arrives and after ascertaining the situation decides its not worth dying over a dead town. They torch it and collapse the mine, sending the PC party back to Partopia where they regroup with the expedition team who have also returned with a good haul of artifacts. It is at this time that Captain Tamir informs all of them that Emperor Julian has been assassinated, and the previously allied lords of Aeternea are now making claims for the throne. They will back their patron, Praetor Artorias, and their new duty is to collect funding and support from as many people as they can. Aah easily convinces her stepfather Governor Quintus to help.

On their way out of the city they defend a young girl being pursued by stake wielding assailants and the last attacker, a man named I'lbakstabyo who works for Numero Uno ("god" of the very oppressed Numerologist religion) claims the "girl" is a vampire who has taken the form of the child which it killed. A house guard of the girl recognizes her and takes her back to her family though, and while the team try to warn the guard of potential vampy-ness he remains unmoved and they are unwilling to do more - apart from take I'lbakstabyo to jail.

They're also approached by a woman who claims to be the widow of thief King Autolycus who asks them to get the gem of the Crocagator located in his vault, be returned to her. She's afraid she'll be killed if she goes after it herself and gives the team instructions how to get there via a secret door in the sewers. Beyond they are surprised to find a Crocagator temple with worshipers that Jerghonson manages to befriend with tales he heard about their predecessor Testikles of the fisher people. They opt out of the mission deciding the widow is too shady for their liking.

More than Nothing: Black Vale Expedition

[Part of the Party Time journal]

After more weeks of police work the team save a pregnant woman being chased by some idiotic thugs that keep yelling "Pale-dogs!" (their gang name). The woman thanks them for the save and continues on her way to the temple of Koochikoo while the others track down the Paledog leader in a run down house in the city. He reveals they were paid to slay the woman with the still moist offertory box from the temple itself, so they quickly rush there to find the very lecherous priest Carpef organizing some "friends" to take care of her. All the bad guys are arrested and Carpef admits that he needs the woman killed because he had a vision her baby (his child) would bring about the end of the world. But he couldn't kill her himself because he's devout!?

They are then joined by new recruits (all the survivors from the prison) to join caravaner Jhonen's archeological expedition to find treasure for Praetor Artorias, and Jhonen guarantees they'll find more than nothing. They first stop at Thorsen, a filthy pig farm, where a young woman named Jalla asks to join the mission - because she hates it there. Her father Rorke is against this but Ughh makes him back off. 

While traveling alongside a river Aah goes to save a drowning person only to find its a trap by a quartet of great river cats with hands for tails and human voices! Unfortunately the cats didn't count on there being so many soldiers and Jerghonson leads the militia to bash them to death before they can do anything.

Upon entering the Black Vale, bitterworm has spoiled over 70% of the caravan rations and the dark mountain men that live here move their flocks away but send a scout to keep tabs on them. It is a temple of theirs to their god Popeta that Jhonen wants to uncover, and sure enough near a mountain summit the 30 extra miners uncover a belfry they can descend (which saves a lot of digging)!

Jhonen, 5 soldiers, Ughh and Aah rappel down with the miners where they find an odd looking altar - a humanoid form above what seems to be a hand, and sudden movement in the surrounding ash reveals many "hands" / handspiders that come to attack them - with one managing to climb up a miner and puppeteer him! The hands are of little threat with the organized defenders though.

The defense upstairs is good too, led by Mamita and Jerghonson the mountain men's pincer attack raid is easily foiled (despite losing four men) when they kill over half the attackers in one combat round, routing the enemy immediately!

[Inspired by Ptolus Adventures]  

More than Nothing: Partopian Police

[Part of the Party Time journal]

Having been arrested and stripped of all gear, the teens find themselves in an arena with seventeen other prisoners in a trial by combat against four sabretooth cats! Ughh spends most of his time convincing the other NPCs to fight while Jerghonson makes the cats hit each other while Aah and Mamita dextrously do acrobatics to avoid them. Ultimately, all the cats are slain and the eight survivors (the four PCs, their friends Waywocket and Rowina, and previous race contestants Yuriet and Crixus) are congratulated by Praetor Artorias who then recruits them into his army so that they can be more than nothing. 

It is night time, beneath a handful of stars, when the recruits officially graduate and are given clubs and blue tunics. Captain Tamir tells them that Aeteran Emperor Julian is in need of man power in a war against the hordes of Bhir'Beli to the South, so the new recruits will serve as the Partopian police force while veteran soldiers are sent off to battle. 

Their first few missions are simple affairs: clearing out a blockage in the sewer caused by some whack job trying to make bigger rats, find the stolen offering box from the temple of Koochikoo (stolen by the simple groundsman who wanted to impress a girl but the girl then tossed it in the river, Ughh makes her go swim for it), and being temporary prison guards to an underground jail where incarcerated criminals were recently vanishing (one of the locked up people was a shape shifting slime, eating the others in their sleep - set on fire by Aah after Ughh discovers it).

They also retrieve a wagon for caravaner Jhonen from some bandits who pose as farm hands who are no match for the team that have a surprisingly cinematic fight sequence with them (the players tell me what they do and the dice decide if it works or not, I only decide the effectiveness of the action or the repercussions for failure).

Plot armor was used this time (mainly in the arena)!

Jerghonson had a sibling Jimgonson who was always his biggest rival as he was much wiser, claiming "you're not smart enough to read my books!"

Mamita always had a hard time making friends because she's smarter than them.

Ughh has a story when his caretakers lost him in a forest as he was "hiding in the shadows". Ever since that time could merge with the shadows as long as no one is looking.

Aah was a street orphan but she was taken in by Governor Quintus. While delivering vegetables for Quintus to a market stall one day she gave some to a beggar figuring they wouldn't be missed.

[Inspired by Ptolus Adventures] 

More than Nothing: Those Thieving Teens

[Part of the Party Time journal]

At Partopia (after a time skip), a bunch of teenagers including Ughh, son of Ugh (Juris), Aah, daughter of Sith (Rose), Mamita, the daughter of Mama (Mom), and Jerghonson, the son of Jerghon the great (DL) have been roped in by their friends Waywocket and Rowina into a race across the city for some free drinks. Mamita ends up winning this with Aah's help, who physically body blocked Yuriet, another race competitor into a river.

Enjoying their drinks at the tavern they learn of another contest, this time one of thieving. The rules are no killing, no buying, and only it can only be a singular item (so lots of coins won't count) from within the city of high worth to impress the thief "king" Autolycus who promises a nice reward to the winner. Rowina and Waywocket want to participate and be more than nothing and... I am surprised my usually goody two shoes players goes for it! Getting some promising leads from the bartender they all pick different targets to rob!

Aah and Waywocket steal a jeweled crown from a jeweler's store via some Mission Impossible skylight acrobatics, Jerghonson frees a harem of high value slaves from a slave trader via distracting the guards away, and Ughh has a challenging time breaking into Governor Quintus' manor fortress via wall climbing, sneaking past multiple guard patrols and breaking into the Governor's vault which is only filled with sentimental artifacts like an arrowhead and a broken sword. 

Mamita has the easiest time plucking an "Everliving flower" from the temple of Koochikoo (a diety of growth) but the "Everliving" part turns out to be a lie as it wilts just as she presents it to Autolycus. Also fake is the crown Aah stole from the jewelers as it is the replica Autolycus placed there himself after he stole the real thing. The thief king refuses to put a value on the lives of the slaves Jerghonson rescued, disqualifying him from the contest but at the same time earning some massive applause as that well known slave trader he stole them from is a douche, and Ughh's stolen trinkets get him nowhere. (PCs didn't ask around enough for better targets) 

Despite losing the contest (some kid got the key to the city somehow lol) all participants are given a small gem as a token of Autolycus' appreciation before he then sets up a different challenge: the assassination of Governor Quintus! The team decide to nope the hell out of that one but as they are leaving soldiers (having been tipped off) arrive and arrest the vast majority of them (Autolycus escapes) and they soon find themselves sent to the arena for the amusement of the crowd...

[Inspired by Kratas Adventures] 

More than Nothing: The Axolotl

[Part of the Party Time journal]

Barricading the way behind them in case the blue gnomes heard the fighting (they did), the team hurriedly descends to the lowest level where they come across a large cavern crawling with blind miners going back and forth. They have to navigate this as quietly as possible and do very well until Ugh rushes the last bit attracting attention at the very end. A cave in saves them from the blind miners, but now they're trapped in another chamber with the thing that caused the cave in, a great Axolotl type lizard with many legs munching on a blind miner! It turns with great interest to the new snacks that just arrived (queue boss music)!

Jerghon the Great leads it one way (its basically playing snake - moves fast but can only turn 3 times during its move) to let the others run through the tunnel it came through, then dodges it to follow. They reach another section of blind miners but with the "well" down to the underground river in sight and the lizard hot in pursuit they decide to sprint through them, losing Doxxer before jumping into the fast flowing river below - which proves to be very long and just as deadly. None of their remaining NPC allies survive it (alas poor Ungala, Winnie and the nameless folk), but the four of them eventually wake in some sort of tent with other mine survivors who had jumped the well before them and are now guarded by foreign looking guys.

An official named Quintus soon arrives and says that his men pulled them from the water, and that they're now all a long way from Goat Getterville. Quintus admits he is not a generous soul but offers a deal: that they all work for him to finish his half-built city of Partopia and in exchange they can become citizens if they so wish. But its an all or nothing offer. Either all of them leave and chance the wilderness or accept the deal. 

Since the other survivors are leaning towards staying, the four leaders agree to the deal as its more than nothing and help finish the city over the next five years - after which they all depart back to Goat Getterville... leaving their kids behind.

Plot armor was used this time!

-Master Builder Ugh used to be a farmer who walked away from a juvenile snake on his farm.

-Master Warden Jerghon the Great didn't care that the community previously thought he was a good for nothing layabout for working on a game involving rolling stones.

-Master Miner Mama had a lazy neighbor called Chitty Chatty who asked help to plant her field. Mama agreed because the neighbor helped her previously with something, and while doing so Mama found a blood ruby gem in the neighbors field which she secretly kept for herself.

-Overseer Sith was previously a hunter with a side kick called "Big Man". After tracking a dangerous ostrich by smell one hunt, Big Man then wanted to earn the bounty of an ostrich feather by reporting that he slew the beast and made her look incompetent. Sith then killed Big Man and took the feather for herself.

[Inspired by Styx: Master of Shadows] 

More than Nothing: The Great Mine

[Part of the Party Time journal]

Empress Palisa, the daughter of "Rou the beheader" and leader of the Goat Getterville nation could see the value in the precious metals hidden in the ground and commissioned a great mine constructed - overseen by our new heroes: Master Miner Mama (Mom) the daughter of Ma, Master Warden Jerghon the Great (DL) who is the grandson of Jerg, Master Builder Ugh (Juris) the third cousin of Ugh, and Overseer Sith (Rose) the neighbor of Rou.

[We had a bit of a mad-libs session prior to this where they basically designed the mine and its problems by taking turns with my prompts with hilarious results, so most of this bit of the adventure is of their own making :P]

Over the years the mine slowly became more and more dangerous and we pick up as the leaders attempt to evacuate everyone out. Alas, an earthquake sends them plummeting down one level into an underground lake which in unusable due to all the possum pee in it. Determined to escape and to be more than nothing, they and three other nameless survivors head back upstairs only to find the exit collapsed, but they manage to scare a bunch of angry possums away from a barricaded door to the barracks. 

Inside is the now elderly Winnie who can sense there's a way out through a deep underground river at the lowest level which he knows about due to his fisher people heritage. After Mama helps the team avoid a minor cave in, the team descends to the prison level (which the leaders agreed to build down here) and release Dodo, a saboteur descended from the Ostrich Riders; Doxxer, a spy who knows Jerghon's secret (that he still carries Mmmbop's ponytail); and Ungala - a deep scout who reports the rest of his unit was bitten by rabid possums. 

The result of the bite is clearly seen in his buddy Bunga, locked in a separate cell. The now blind man paces back and forth predictably but when he hears a noise he charges aggressively and attacks in that direction. 

With that knowledge they continue down, sneaking past strange blue gnomes now looting diamonds from a doorway broken open by Dodo and reach the illegal Ostrich rider hideout below. They send Dodo in first to calm his compatriots down but he gets torn apart by giant rabid possums that then rush the party, slaying one of the "spare" nameless guys before the team manages to defeat the beasties with their pickaxes.

[Inspired by Deep Delve] 

More than Nothing: Rou the Beheader

[Part of the Party Time journal]

Sometime later the Goat Getter village is flourishing, but Shania arrives with a request to help defend Twain against the expanding territories of Tan-ned - a large city to the North, forcing villages to join or die. They agree that this threat is more than nothing and arrive just in time to defend against the pony tailed forces of Akin-Ka, but are caught by surprise by their ponytail dagger throw which kills many of the defenders. Rou and Ug's use of "I am bright!" saves the day, blinding the enemy forces who are then massacred. Rou beheads Akin-Ka post mortem.

With Shania insisting on pressing the advantage, she rallies more fighters and they them march unopposed all the way to Tan-ned which is strangely undefended? Sensing a trap they divide their forces in two, Shania and half the warriors will hold outside while the Goat Getter heroes enter the "palace temple" (just a covered platform higher than the other buildings) with the other half. Sure enough, Tan-ned's leader Mmmbop is there waiting for them with his guards and uses the powers of his god "wormy" to explode people into wriggling masses worms (by wiggling his fingers and chanting "wormy wormy wormy").

The team rush forward through the defense, and the defenders fail their ponytail dagger through after Rou throws the head of Akin-Ka at them! Mmmbop also critically fails trying to worm-splode Jerg so instead his fingers all turn into worms and fall off. Rou then hits him with a knife to the leg before Jerg captures him and leads him out to the overlooking balcony, where Rou publicly beheads him. This routs the remaining enemies.

Alas, Shania died in the battle outside but everyone else - including the rest of Tan-ned's oppressed citizens now see the four as their saviors and rejoice at Mmmbop's defeat and years pass in relative peace as the Goat Getters inherit the amassed territories of their enemy!

[This is the end of the current characters as I force retire them, and not one of them used any plot armor :P] 

[Inspired by Ninjaness72] 

More than Nothing: The First Village

[Part of the Party Time journal]

At the edge of the misty forest the Goat Getters encounter a small group of apes who warn them of a war being waged by their kind and the forest floor dwellers of Shroomy, also noting all the goats would be "shroomed" by now. They accept the apes offer of climbing up above the shroom-mist and meet the apes god "QQ", a large rainbow serpent who asks for their assistance in winning the war but since they refuse, QQ just let's them cross the tree tops to the other side of the forest and warns them never to return.

On the other side of the forest the now somewhat hungry tribe find a ruined settlement where they engage with beasts they've never seen before (dinosaurs) and clear them out. Obelisks in the ruins are decorated with pictograms of farming and building which Mama Yapa understands. She declares the time of wandering is over, and the tribe will settle down here to try farm the land. They will be more than nothing.

The young heroes are sent to gather wood and not willing to return to the misty forest, follow a large river the opposite way, encountering a sheep herder looking for his missing dog and a naked fisher person named Testikles whose invitation to visit his nudist village is rejected.

They eventually reach another farming settlement of Twain and the super friendly leader Shania agrees to help the Goat Getters as much as she can. Providing seeds, timber and a cart to transport it as well as information on the area. On the way back the team encounter a naked fisher kid named Poo on the side of the road, crying because his people sacrificed his dad to their god, the Crocagatorman, in accordance to their practice of sacrificing those above a certain age.

Rou takes the kid under her care, renaming him to Winnie instead and returns him to the Goat Getter Village which has suffered an attack while they were away. Mama Yapa says the ostrich riding raiders took some of their people off with them to the West and so the party pursues, detouring slightly when they come across a trio of naked dog worshipers and a pack of various dogs they admit to "freeing from slavery". Ug does an amazing speech that involves letting the dogs decide if they are happier with their owners and the trio agree to return all the stolen dogs while giving directions to the raiders and suggesting they only respect strength. 

As such when they find the raider camp, Jerg approaches alone and challenges their wiry short leader to a duel - and kills him with the Ug's obsidian blade after dodging the thrown javelins and mounted ostrich. The rest of the raiders kneel before Jerg, muttering "you earn what you kill" (thanks Riddick) and so not only do they free the prisoners, the raiders are also assimilated into the Goat Getter tribe!

[Inspired by The Chronicles of Riddick and Assassin's Creed: Odyssey]