Stonehearst Asylum

Really pales compared to Arkham Asylum. :P

In this thriller, a young doctor arrives at an isolated asylum in hopes to take up residency. It's not long before he discovers that not all is as it seems. The setting is pretty cool, the patients are nice and crazy, and while there are some decent actors here (nice to see Kate Beckinsale again, though I preferred her as a leather clad vamp :P) I found the main "hero" to be a bit weak. Especially against Ben Kingsley's character who actually steals the show for me.

We're all a little bit crazy!

While the intrigue did keep me interested, the story kinda falls apart at the end which is a pity. Also, if you watch this expecting a horror story you will be very disappointed. If anything it's closer to a love story. It's an interesting enough flick to watch, as long as you don't expect anything great from it. All up I give it two and a half inmates out of five and isn't something that really inspires a second viewing.

Underworld: Rise / Eternal / Awakening

[Day 12 of Blaugust 2015!]

Underworld: Rise of the Lycans

A plague on both your houses! Oh... wait...

This prequel movie tells of how the vampires and lycans came to be at war in the first place. Alas, the director opted to put spoilers in for the previous two movies so I can't recommend watching this first - you'll really need to be content to watch it in order, and by doing so you'll kind of already know what happens here. The protagonists this time are Lucian the lycan (Michael Sheen) and the vampiress Sonja (Rhona Mitra) who basically just follow a much more violent and gory version of Romeo and Juliet.

Vampire Lord awesomeness.

That said it is still an entertaining film and being set in medieval times the set pieces and costumes are really cool. What really sells it for me is the inclusion once again of Viktor (Bill Nighy) who is even more bad ass than he was in the previous movies (kinda makes sense). What can I say? He's one of my favorite vampires. Doesn't top Hellsing's Alucard (because that guy is just insanely overpowered) but he's up there on the list.

Anyway I digress, I give Rise of the Lycans three fangs out of five and again recommend it to action fans, especially those that enjoy this setting. As one of those people I wouldn't mind watching this one again.

~~~

Underworld: Eternal War

It's "Eternal" because Selene obviously likes to play with her kills.

This short three piece anime is probably one you haven't heard of, and each section is devoted to Selene hunting down a trio of lycan "lords"? These tales span a huge number of years which again makes watching it out of sequence (has to be after Rise of the Lycans) quite spoilerific. All the events take place in the same city too which is convenient for reusing backdrops. The angular character art gets takes some getting used to as well but it's passable enough with an ok amount of violence and gore.

Selene: What happened to my face?

There are tons of negatives though. The voice actors for most characters are sub par, and really the plot is on the side of being ridiculous. The bad guys clearly have no chance so it's confusing as to why Selene only downs one of them every x number of years when she was killing worse things in the movie at a faster rate. I can maybe let the first encounter slide with the pre-knowledge that the silver bullets were not as insta-fatal as their upgrades but come on.

There's also a scene in a whore house where girls wearing nothing but G-strings are surprised by the entry of a character and in the next shot all of them are armed with automatic rifles firing like mad. Yeah. What the f... Anyway, I give this one fang out of five and declare it as Not Worth Watching!

~~~

Underworld: Awakening
More action, less story.

The humans (who definitely speak English now, thank you Underworld: Evolution for confusing yourself) have learned of the vampires and lycans and have opted to just kill both sides, and they are doing a fantastic job of it managing to capture even Selene (Kate Beckinsale is back). After yet another time skip, Selene awakens in a world where most of non-humans are gone and spends most of her time trying to protect the little girl that set her free.

Seems humans never learn to make smaller air ducts.

I suppose it's worth noting that each movie after the first has a shorter and shorter running time. This one is the quickest movie as there is not a lot going on and most of the plot is predictable, with some exceptions given Selene's new abilities from being powered up in Evolution. They also try to cover up the light plot with tons of violence, which gets a thumbs up from me but I saw what they did there...

As nice as it was to see Kris Holden-Ried  (Dyson in Lost Girl), Charles Dance (Tywin Lannister in Game of Thrones) and Theo James (Four in Divergent) all in the same film it simply isn't up to scratch as the rest of the series and I give it two fangs out of five. I still would watch it again but would prefer any of the others first.

Underworld / Evolution

[Day 8 of Blaugust 2015!]

Underworld

Proving that vampires and lycans CAN get along.

The vampires have hunted their racial enemies, the lycans, almost to extinction. Or so they thought. The gorgeous leather clad death dealer vampiress Selene (Kate Beckinsale) catches on to the ploy the lycans are undertaking but since her coven basically refuses to back her, she takes drastic measures to get them on side which inadvertently just makes things worse.

Fire and fangs!

The plot here focuses on a lot of action, effects and tons of violence with a dash of gore backed by a pretty good and tight story. All of it takes place at night, but that's understandable I suppose. Everyone is up to scratch acting wise, especially Bill Nighy's Viktor who is a fantastic character. It's also kinda funny to see Wentworth Miller with hair (he's just an extra in this film). Negatives wise, it's a little puzzling how vamps and lycans are really bad shots with firearms, and that Selene's autopistols don't need reloading more often. Also after the opening few minutes it seems the entire city is deserted of ordinary people which is somewhat odd.

Despite that this is a fantastic flick, one I give four and a half fangs out of five to and would definitely watch it again. If you haven't seen it already I suggest you do! Alas it is also the best in the Underworld series as things just go downhill from here. :P

~~~

Underworld: Evolution

Where no one asks how Hungary people are. No, that's not a typo.

The sequel of Underworld, this film begins with a flashback intro for the new, scary antagonist. It didn't need to be there but it works pretty well as an action opening and as an excuse for more Viktor (Bill Nighy) screentime which I give a huge thumbs up to. The rest of the film is also littered with flashbacks which isn't so great if you haven't seen the first one. Anyway, Selene (Kate Beckinsale) and her new ally are on the run from the new big bad but end up having to try stop him from unleashing something terrible on the world.

Oh he's not so bad...

There's a new faction introduced, a plot-device doohickey, and a good dose of amnesia in the plot which makes it somewhat clunky. Also, I'm somewhat confused as to the Hungarian(?) tavern scene as I didn't get the feeling that they traveled that far away from the initial mansion. Everyone else in the previous movie and in this movie speak English. Only the locals and authorities of that one place didn't. It was very odd.

I did quite like that those same locals are ironically -MUCH- better with firearms than both the vamps and lycans. Fortunately the action, violence, CGI and gore are still all up to scratch too, and the inclusion of daylight hours made for a good change. Not as good as the first movie but still a decent enough action flick, I still would watch it again and give it three fangs out of five.