Saturday 8 August 2020

Borderlands 2: Flipping the Bird

[Part of the Wasted Land story]

While exploring, we stumble upon Fink's Slaughterhouse which serves as an arena for the locals. Naturally we participate and thanks to the shiney gear DL has pulled and shared out using his golden keys (it gives super gear), smash through the first four rounds with only little difficulty. It's fun to make midgets bleeeed!

The fifth round is quite bad though with Jim and I both getting KO'ed but DL still manages to pull the win with his turret! Afterwards we head on to the Hyperion Wildlife Preservation Park to help Mordecai find his bird, which Hyperion had stolen from him recently. The park is like a zoo, only with monsters that are undergoing mutation testing - FOR SCIENCE!

With Mordecai providing flaccid sniper cover, we break in. Free the souls of the captive beasts and find his bird, which is now enlarged and evil! Despite our best efforts to save it by shooting it with bullets, Mordecai's bird explodes at the climax. He is left bitter and birdless.

In retaliation for this, we go back through the Wildlife Preservation Park to free all the trapped animals. It's a nice to have skags and stalkers on our side for a change! We also find a super helpful guy running an arena biome with said creatures.

He lets us free five rounds worth of the animals and even pays us to boot! The badass fire thresher in the last round manages to KO Jim, but he is freed too - just like his friends. Freed from all their suffering, freed to the great beyond! MUAHAHAHAHAHAH! *buzz saw sounds*

Roland then radios in and gets us to travel to the Thousand Cuts region to try make an alliance with the local bandits, "the Slabs", to unite against Hyperion. We diplomatically kill anyone who refuses to join. Eventually the Slab King, frenemy of Roland whom I shall dub "Slabby", officially agrees when the nearby "main" Hyperion base launches a full scale attack, sending the Slabs retreating to Sanctuary.

Yeah, nahhh... your name's Slabby mate.

Insight: Clusters of enemies are the best targets for a psychos buzz axe rampage. Each kill restores your health to full. Just remember to take cover again afterwards.


Blaugust Bonus: "If you had a mascot to represent you, what would it be?" -Rambling Redshirt

It's a shadow that you can only occasionally glimpse for a split second from the corner of your vision and also whispers things to your mind. Perhaps you've already encountered it before?

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