Borderlands 2: Trainwreck 2 - the Wreckening

[Part of the Wasted Land story]

Before going to steal the key to save the planet kinda deal, we opt to have some R&R first - delivering pizza to ungrateful lab rats, winning live grenades at the slot machines in Moxxi's bar (owie), and re-purposing a robot AI into a gun. A really cool, sentient gun.

Mmm that's some sexy pizza!

It's then off to the Tundra to hunt varkids (giant bugs) and meet with 13 year old bomb maker Tina. Varkid hunting is kinda slow thanks to local sniper Mordecai kill stealing all our shit. Anyway, Tina wants us to collect both bomb parts and tea party guests to help us steal the key, tasks that are pretty easy until an inebriated Jim murderizes the last tea party guest. Hah, and I thought I was the psycho!

Good thing Tina still makes us the rocket bombs, casually dressed as bunny dolls which we use to derail one of Jack's trains which was supposed to have his key. Of course, it's a trap. There is no key, just metal and circuits and bullets and rockets in robot shapes that we dismantle. At the same time Roland tells us that Sanctuary has come under heavy attack, and using some special gizmo Scooter rigged plus Firehawk's magic - gets the entire city airborne and teleports it of there. Our next job is simply to catch up!

Have you ever chased a flying, teleporting city before? There's a lot of ground to traverse. Ground slick with blood of the things in our way. Especially those annoying cloaking mini-dragon things. I like to hit them with corrosive bullets since the acid remains visible, even if they don't.

Insight: Letting the varkids coccoon and hatch into stronger versions is a good way to get loot.

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Blaugust Bonus: "What is a favorite Quote/s, and tell us why." -Wilhelm Arcturus

"Happy wife, happy life." because it's true! :P

Borderlands 2: Firehawk - Ashes and Dust

[Part of the Wasted Land story]

On a quest to save Princess Roland, we three heroes find ourselves in pyromaniac valley - home of all things spicy, hot and burninating to find "the Firehawk" who supposedly knows which closet Roland is being held in. She certainly fits the bill.

Thinking with our fun heads, we mutually save each other from a massive attack by a rival gang - the Bloodshots. She says that Roland is in their castle, no doubt experiencing whatever it is Princess Peach feels while a prisoner to Bowser. But before we go rescue him the Firehawk wants us to check up on her cultists... they are actually really fun guys who seem only focused on setting themselves on fire. This is great as we get to help them burn. Win/win! They do go a bit far when they kidnap a few villagers for roasting though so upon Firehawk's command we ice them for good.

One of the best missions ever!

Then its off to rescue Princess Roland at the Bloodshot Castle Dam but they ain't stupid enough to open the gates for a random looking car so we have to drive all the way out to the Dust where we meet Ellie in her junkyard who offers to make us a "bandit technical" vehicle if we bring her the parts - which is really easy since we destroyed like ten of these cars before reaching her.

When asked why she's all the way out here and not in Sanctuary she says its to get away from her overbearing mom, Moxxi, and her creepy ex Scooter who also happens to be her step-brother. Yikes.

Insight: While in Gunzerking mode, Jim (Gunzerker) constantly regenerates health and ammo!

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Blaugust Bonus: "What are some key sources of media (games/movies/etc) that have shaped your worldview?" -Mailvaltar

Ultima Online showed me early on both how evil some people can be as well as how awesome it is to work cooperatively. Hence I now always strongly prefer cooperative endeavors rather than competitive ones.

Borderlands 2: The Evil H

[Part of the Wasted Land story]

Claptrap docks the boat at some non-snowy wasteland and after murdering and dismembering politely asking the local banditry, we activate a catch-a-ride garage that can spit out cars like bubblegum!

Naturally, DL is great at driving. Takes Jim a few goes to get the hang of it though, especially with one hand in a bag of chips and the other on his beer. Gunner ports are the best fun for me. Run over some yetis and skag dogs while collecting power cells as a welcoming gift for Sanctuary.

The gunner seat is FUN!

Jim plugs them in just in time to power the city shields as the giant, floating H commences planetary bombardment... to no effect! Take that, you evil letter! Inside, Sanctuary is full of familiar feces. I mean faces. Mad Moxxi owns the bar, the unlicensed Dr. Zed practices in the clinic, Scooter tinkers in the garage, Marcus sells guns in person, and Dr. Patricia Tannis runs the Crimson Lance Raider HQ.

The only thing missing is its leader, Roland, so obviously us new guys are sent to find him. Oh, and to kill a bunch of assassins hiding in the nearby waterworks facility first. Those assassins are tough SOBs and have many, many friends. At least they are carrying shineys. As I often say "I like my treasure like I like my baby steaks, raaaaare..." 

Insight: You can deploy two vehicles at once and one of the customization options is the main gun. Generally things that go boom are preferred as the driver can always use the forward machine gun.

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Blaugust Bonus: "What is some popular piece of content/media that seems to be universally loved that you have never been able to understand?" -Dragonray

Lock boxes and basically anything that you pay money for to get a random return - especially when the odds are highly obfuscated. I think anyone that spends money on such things are either incredibly rich and/or incredibly stupid. Also, it is definitely gambling and has no place in mediums that minors can access.

To a lesser extent, the same goes for grinding the same enemies or activities in game for a chance of an item. If I happen to be in the right spot at the right time, cool - I'll help defeat the whatever or run that instance. What I won't do is stay for hours doing the same thing all day everyday for loot. Once is enough. If I get cool gear from it, sweet. If not, too bad.

The only time I find myself repeating things these days is to practice to improve my own real life skills. Or you know, things I really, really enjoy. :P

Things Great and Small

My journal through Borderlands! You can follow the rest of the story here!

After jury rigging some generators around town I decided to head to a nearby cave named the "Tetanus Warrens" to handle the local bandits in the region. More of those yucky bug things were in the way and in the cave itself was a new type of bug - spiderants. Like the skags all their armor is up front leaving them weak to flanking maneouvers.

Anyway my main target here was the midget boss King Wee Wee. LOL. He certainly packs a punch with his alien sceptre and could take a lot of hits for a little fella though. Once he was taking a dirt nap I returned to town with a whole bunch of crystals I gathered there to turn in another quest when Scooter asked me to go back to check on TK Baha back near Fyrestone.

Having re-established their fast travel network (controlled teleportation anomalies, very impressive) getting back was easy, and I found the blind cripple inside his house, hanging upside down from a ceiling fan with blood pouring out of him. Seems some psychos finally got to the silly hermit. Before returning to report my findings though there was something else I had to hunt here - a giant firebreathing rakk! It took awhile but the mounted machine gun on my vehicle eventually put the critter down.

Those hours of dino-beatdown finally paid off :P

Ghosts and Monster Trucks

My journal through Borderlands! You can follow the rest of the story here!

Descended into an archaeological dig today, after eliminating more bandits top side and found a new and scary type of mutant. Actually they are so otherworldly I think they really are aliens. These ghostly "guardians" were quite scary to behold, and pretty tough to put down since they had some form of protective aura. Fortunately they only had close range blades to attack with giving me enough time to work out that their weakness was lightning. Without their shields they went down pretty quick.

Not as scary as this Guardian though (for the wrong reasons)!

After defeating them and turning in the now unguarded artifact for reward it was time to go face Mad Mel, who I encountered in a large circular domed arena. As the remainder of his mounted gang poured in to fight I shot them to pieces until Mad Mel himself, driving an armored truck appeared. Took awhile to penetrate that armor but eventually even he exploded into a firey ball of death, and it wasn't long before his remaining crew met a similar fate.

Having cleared the road I then continued into New Haven, where I finally meet Scooter - the guy who gives me all my rides, and mayor Helena Pierce. It looks like Dr. Zed has moved shop to here too and I don't blame him. At least there are other people here, unlike in Fyrestone which now has a population count of zero, unless you count the Claptrap.