[Part of the Cursed story line]
With many lands aflame Trynne recruits rookie Lillo to help douse the fires while Levyel and Jainlof's crew seek out the dragon's new lair. During this process Jainlof accidentally frees a frog god who turns him into a frog face and Raine is "cursed" by a lizard priest to have useless baby wings.
Eventually they locate their target at a volcano and fight their way in, past fireball throwing lizard scum to challenge the dragon and its elite guard at the summit. Luckily the silly beast enjoys triggering the free attacks of the party (everyone had some form of auto-overwatch and envenomed weapon except Jainlof) and basically defeats itself!
After murdering the last of the elite guard the remaining lizards withdraw and the team of dragon slayers return as heroes! Unfortunately for Jainlof, he cannot undo the frog god's magic and soon turns into a bogmoor. His axe guard hesitate too much during the transformation which lets him escape into the woods.
Monday, 1 May 2023
Wildermyth: Suicidal Dragon
Sunday, 30 April 2023
Wildermyth: Lizard Wizard
[Part of the Cursed story line]
Emboldened by their new dragon "savior", whom a lizard wizard used magic on to speed up the hatchery and growth process, the lizard folk restart their raids in earnest - this time taking treasure to add to the dragon's hoard. Jainlof and his axe guard of Raine, Les and his brother Even help in keeping them at bay, while Rick and company make their way to the Mythic Canyon where they face the dragon in person!
It is a short scuffle before the dragon takes flight and flees against Rick's cheating ways, leaving the lizard wizard that raised him to cover his escape by collapsing the canyon on top of them all - flattening Tymric and the lizard wizard in the process.
The angry dragon then begins burning the land in fire at which point Rick nopes the hell out of there with his family using his portal gun (game wise they all aged out/retired), but not before leaving the Cocks some venom Beth milked from Jerry's scorpion appendage to give them a fighting chance.
Wildermyth: Circus Freak
[Part of the Cursed story line]
Stuff like this happens all the time.
Having armed his family with inappropriate weapons like futuristic bows, an oversized sword, and a usable scorpion tail that somehow attaches to Jerry's butt, Rick and the Cocks chase the lizard raiders to the borders of the lizard lands where they then use superior numbers to force the Cocks to flee - but not before they learn that the circus freak was some sort of lizard prince who was now being used to unite the lizard tribes.
Knowing war would soon be upon them, Trynne rallied allies in Tymric the Bold (who quickly gets in on with Summer) and Levyel the were-wolf (one of Jaymriel's victims) to assist in fighting back the lizard forces who seem intent on enslaving villagers and making them dig for... something.
It would take some time but the squad faces and defeats prince circus freak twice, with Morty landing the killing blow on the monster on the second outing. Hyped up by the feat, he is encouraged by his grandpa Rick to go live it up with the local ladies as fame is a fleeting thing. The loss of their prince is a painful price to pay but the lizards retreat with an unearthed dragon egg in tow.
Wednesday, 26 April 2023
Wildermyth: Bury the Tower
[Part of the Cursed story line]
With the Mothqueen finally in the tower Kaydo orders the team to run while he holds a magic duel against her, but they still have to protect from the other endless things him WHILE getting out. Everyone somehow makes it, and Kaydo seals himself in there with the Mothqueen forever. Disconnected from their matriarch goddess the remaining bugs mostly return to their own dimension (lol yep).
Soon after Captain Bear self detonates and Jaymriel goes full wolf form and runs rampant passing on lycanthropy to many innocents before she becomes enslaved by the gorgons. Unwilling to do the same Yoburt gets Sir Igwane to execute him while Kayruen takes root by a nearby stream and becomes a tree (Side note: the tree transformation sucks as you get slower and slower while only gaining toughness and melee skills).
The remaining survivors led by Lady Kamea then begin the arduous task of burying the entire tower so that no one will accidentally ever open it. Worst victory party ever.
Tuesday, 25 April 2023
Wildermyth: The Mothqueen
[Part of the Cursed story line]
Kayruen is rescued from the clutches of the bugs having only partially transformed into a bug herself, and reveals their god, the Mothqueen, is after her brother Kaydo. Desperate to stop the bug transformation Kayruen pierces herself with a splinter of a magic tree which works, but only because she is now slowly becoming a tree.
Kaydo devices a plan to use a magical prison tower to trap the Mothqueen forever (because you can't kill gods) and so sends the team to clear it out of the bugs currently in there - an easy job thanks to all the transformations going on - and then to lure the Mothqueen in by putting himself inside as bait.
This final battle is freaking epic and pretty tough as you must protect the bait from the endless bug swarm which at this point includes dragon bugs, but at the same time go forward to attack the Mothqueen which "irritates" her and forces her to move forward into the trap based on the damage dealt. Iris, mind controlled by the Mothqueen at one point, rams a spear through Baeloth - killing him.
Monday, 24 April 2023
Wildermyth: The Revengers
[Part of the Cursed story line]
With news of the bugs attacking other villages, Kaydo leaves to become the seer of the forest but not before asking the Cockatrices to find his now missing sister Kayruen. Losing Kaydo is a little annoying, but the on the flip side he can auto-stop some incursions all by himself! Baeloth the bug talker fills his spot as replacement on the team.
Lady Kamea hires the outlander mercenaries, Malice, Glenda and Pump to help with the search but only Pump survives the gorgon ambush at a remote farm where Malice is gored by a boar rager and Glenda is eaten by a bogmoor. Meanwhile the wolf god manages to curse Jaymriel and Yoburt with lycanthropy and Captain Bear gets captured by some Deepists who leave him to rot in an underground cage along side a powered-down deadbot digger.
By cutting off his own arm, Captain Bear manages to power up the deadbot "Erklebits" who digs their way to freedom. Losing too much blood, Captain Bear then begs to the heavens for a second chance and is heard by a star spirit, who gives him a star arm which can shoot exploding stars as an AoE attack (and is frankly super OP). The star condition does slowly spread across his body though, and once it covers him entirely Captain Bear knows it is he himself that will go boom. Wanting to spend whatever time she can with him, Iris, the Captain's daughter, joins the Cockatrices.
Tuesday, 11 August 2015
Underworld: Rise / Eternal / Awakening
Underworld: Rise of the Lycans
A plague on both your houses! Oh... wait...
This prequel movie tells of how the vampires and lycans came to be at war in the first place. Alas, the director opted to put spoilers in for the previous two movies so I can't recommend watching this first - you'll really need to be content to watch it in order, and by doing so you'll kind of already know what happens here. The protagonists this time are Lucian the lycan (Michael Sheen) and the vampiress Sonja (Rhona Mitra) who basically just follow a much more violent and gory version of Romeo and Juliet.
That said it is still an entertaining film and being set in medieval times the set pieces and costumes are really cool. What really sells it for me is the inclusion once again of Viktor (Bill Nighy) who is even more bad ass than he was in the previous movies (kinda makes sense). What can I say? He's one of my favorite vampires. Doesn't top Hellsing's Alucard (because that guy is just insanely overpowered) but he's up there on the list.
Anyway I digress, I give Rise of the Lycans three fangs out of five and again recommend it to action fans, especially those that enjoy this setting. As one of those people I wouldn't mind watching this one again.
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Underworld: Eternal War
It's "Eternal" because Selene obviously likes to play with her kills.
This short three piece anime is probably one you haven't heard of, and each section is devoted to Selene hunting down a trio of lycan "lords"? These tales span a huge number of years which again makes watching it out of sequence (has to be after Rise of the Lycans) quite spoilerific. All the events take place in the same city too which is convenient for reusing backdrops. The angular character art gets takes some getting used to as well but it's passable enough with an ok amount of violence and gore.
There are tons of negatives though. The voice actors for most characters are sub par, and really the plot is on the side of being ridiculous. The bad guys clearly have no chance so it's confusing as to why Selene only downs one of them every x number of years when she was killing worse things in the movie at a faster rate. I can maybe let the first encounter slide with the pre-knowledge that the silver bullets were not as insta-fatal as their upgrades but come on.
There's also a scene in a whore house where girls wearing nothing but G-strings are surprised by the entry of a character and in the next shot all of them are armed with automatic rifles firing like mad. Yeah. What the f... Anyway, I give this one fang out of five and declare it as Not Worth Watching!
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Underworld: Awakening
More action, less story.
The humans (who definitely speak English now, thank you Underworld: Evolution for confusing yourself) have learned of the vampires and lycans and have opted to just kill both sides, and they are doing a fantastic job of it managing to capture even Selene (Kate Beckinsale is back). After yet another time skip, Selene awakens in a world where most of non-humans are gone and spends most of her time trying to protect the little girl that set her free.
I suppose it's worth noting that each movie after the first has a shorter and shorter running time. This one is the quickest movie as there is not a lot going on and most of the plot is predictable, with some exceptions given Selene's new abilities from being powered up in Evolution. They also try to cover up the light plot with tons of violence, which gets a thumbs up from me but I saw what they did there...
As nice as it was to see Kris Holden-Ried (Dyson in Lost Girl), Charles Dance (Tywin Lannister in Game of Thrones) and Theo James (Four in Divergent) all in the same film it simply isn't up to scratch as the rest of the series and I give it two fangs out of five. I still would watch it again but would prefer any of the others first.
Friday, 7 August 2015
Underworld / Evolution
Underworld
Proving that vampires and lycans CAN get along.
The vampires have hunted their racial enemies, the lycans, almost to extinction. Or so they thought. The gorgeous leather clad death dealer vampiress Selene (Kate Beckinsale) catches on to the ploy the lycans are undertaking but since her coven basically refuses to back her, she takes drastic measures to get them on side which inadvertently just makes things worse.
The plot here focuses on a lot of action, effects and tons of violence with a dash of gore backed by a pretty good and tight story. All of it takes place at night, but that's understandable I suppose. Everyone is up to scratch acting wise, especially Bill Nighy's Viktor who is a fantastic character. It's also kinda funny to see Wentworth Miller with hair (he's just an extra in this film). Negatives wise, it's a little puzzling how vamps and lycans are really bad shots with firearms, and that Selene's autopistols don't need reloading more often. Also after the opening few minutes it seems the entire city is deserted of ordinary people which is somewhat odd.
Despite that this is a fantastic flick, one I give four and a half fangs out of five to and would definitely watch it again. If you haven't seen it already I suggest you do! Alas it is also the best in the Underworld series as things just go downhill from here. :P
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Underworld: Evolution
Where no one asks how Hungary people are. No, that's not a typo.
The sequel of Underworld, this film begins with a flashback intro for the new, scary antagonist. It didn't need to be there but it works pretty well as an action opening and as an excuse for more Viktor (Bill Nighy) screentime which I give a huge thumbs up to. The rest of the film is also littered with flashbacks which isn't so great if you haven't seen the first one. Anyway, Selene (Kate Beckinsale) and her new ally are on the run from the new big bad but end up having to try stop him from unleashing something terrible on the world.
There's a new faction introduced, a plot-device doohickey, and a good dose of amnesia in the plot which makes it somewhat clunky. Also, I'm somewhat confused as to the Hungarian(?) tavern scene as I didn't get the feeling that they traveled that far away from the initial mansion. Everyone else in the previous movie and in this movie speak English. Only the locals and authorities of that one place didn't. It was very odd.
I did quite like that those same locals are ironically -MUCH- better with firearms than both the vamps and lycans. Fortunately the action, violence, CGI and gore are still all up to scratch too, and the inclusion of daylight hours made for a good change. Not as good as the first movie but still a decent enough action flick, I still would watch it again and give it three fangs out of five.