TV shows with blood and killing!
Vikings: Valhalla
This three season show is a sequel to the Vikings TV show but set enough years forward that none of the original cast are around anymore and only get name dropped on occassion. Acting wise the new cast aren't any worse and the story still involves a number of decent fight scenes and court intrigue, though this time it also spans much greater distances. While the ending certainly feels like they "ran out of time" its still an entertaining enough watch - especially if you liked the original. That sword cuts both ways though, because if you didn't like the original series you're better off staying away as this is pretty much more of the same.
The Fall of House Usher
This modern single season horror series based on the work of Edgar Allan Poe follows the rise and, as per the title, catastrophic fall of the Usher family who are both criminally wealthy and very much on borrowed time. Nice cinematography and there's a good amount of blood and gore, but the early part of the story relies more on disturbing jump scares for its injection of horror which (apart from one excellent one) isn't really useful, because the audience is told from the get go who is dead, how they died and that there's a character "seeing things". The nature of the antagonist is what kept me watching though, and the writers really dangle that hook out there with each passing episode. If you like horror then you might enjoy this one, but you need to stick with it as it gets stronger the more episodes in you get.
Wednesday 24 July 2024
Vikings: Valhalla and The Fall of House Usher
Tuesday 23 July 2024
Dragonheir: Sailing Away
[Part of the Cursed story line.]
Getting to season two for this game is a unique process where people who have "finished" all the content of season one at the allotted time are whisked away into a new server and are rewarded currencies based on how well the did in their previous season (and there are apparently four seasons of this now).
While you keep all your RNGesus picked companions, all of them and your main character are back to level one with no gear so that you can grind up once more not only by doing the new stuff which involves saving an island of elves from some frisky sahaugin merlings but also by returning to the mainland to grind previously cleared combat zones which now feature different (and much harder) challenges. The elemental pairs also rotate to keep you on your toes which means my main party changed to be Fire Main / Horrus / Journ / Ripekas / and Estella for some heals.
The restarting thing is a bit annoying but could have been ok if the leveling back up was done better or differently (which I believe is something they mentioned in their road map). Not that it matters though as the game just issued a "Termination of Service for the US Region" for sometime in September, furthering angering the players who have paid real money on the game (already angry since the pay to win stuff they bought doesn't carry over to this season). This supposedly ties into USA's ban of Tiktok, as the company that owns Tiktok just bought Dragonheir and have a dispute with some US laws. I guess its best to bury this one now
Monday 22 July 2024
Midnight Suns: The Big D
[Part of Superhero Stories]
The creepy castle was right where Deadpool said it would be, and while Blade was slightly disappointed that the merc gave the information freely he was still surprised by the sight he beheld as soon as he stepped inside. Hemalisks, bulky table sized egg sacs that these vampires hatch from, littered the main hall between which patrolled a good number of the already hatched blood suckers. Upon the throne sat a dark skinned beauty with long white hair who was instantly recognizable apart from the blood red color in her eyes that carefully followed the daywalker's every move.
"I heard the X-men are having it rough these days since the passing of Professor Xavier," Blade said loudly, "but it looks like you went straight to the bottom of the barrel, Storm. What's the matter? Needed to find a new daddy with a big 'D' to teach you how to suck?"
"My master Dracula will be most pleased when I bring him your head," she replied angrily as she rose into the air. "Storm is dead. I have been reborn as Bloodstorm!"
Don't ask how she spawns those Hemalisks...
Also I'm surprised Dracula does exist in the Marvel Universe!
Blade quickly dodged to to the side as she began sending tornadoes at him, destroying many of the Hemalisks and vampires as they gave chase. The ones missed by the tornadoes were caught by the vampire hunter's sword and glaive. Bloodstorm hissed as she changed strategy and nailed Blade with a lightning strike, sending him crashing into the throne. His response was to visibly click a detonator in his hand which triggered all the bombs he had been throwing near the supporting pillars during their clash.
As the entire structure began to shake, Bloodstorm glanced up briefly with worry. This distraction is all the time Blade needed to quickly boost forward and drive a stake into her heart as the castle started to crumble all around him. A harshly whispered "You lose bitch," was the last thing Bloodstorm heard as she died.
Confident that the destruction would flatten all the remaining hemalisks and vampires, Blade sheathed his weapons, adjusted his shades, and calmly walked out the front door over Bloodstorm's ashes.
Sunday 21 July 2024
Midnight Suns: Sticky Fingers
[Part of Superhero Stories]
Hearing his name spoken in a heavy, threatening manner Dr. Morbius groggily opened his eyes to find he was still bleeding out on the floor of his secret underground laboratory. A vampire, bleeding out? The irony wasn't lost on him as he recognized the figure looming above him. "Just my luck that the daywalker finds me today," he spat. "Why were these other vampires attacking you?" questioned Blade menacingly.
"They weren't the problem," Morbius replied weakly while gesturing to a number of mangled vampire corpses strewn about the place. "It was that arsehole mercenary who took my freshly made sunlight vial... can you believe he actually tried to finish me off with a steak?" he chuckled, the rotting ribeye still next to him. Blade wasn't in the mood for laughs and picked him up by his collar with one hand. "You were making a serum to let vampires walk in the sun!?"
"Couldn't let you have all the fun could I?" Morbius could barely finish grinning before Blade beheaded him to finish him off for good. The daywalker then used his keen sense of smell and incredible speed to track down this merc who as it turns out, hadn't gone very far yet as he was sauntering down a narrow alley in his red spandex. "Hey, ass-clown!" called Blade with his weapons drawn. Deadpool turned around in surprise. "Blade!? I didn't know you did compliments!"
"Hand over the sunlight vial now," hissed the vampire hunter as he pointed his Uzi at Wade. "You mean this little thing?" taunted the mercenary as he pulled out a yellow looking vial to display. "Nuh uh, I'm not..." before Deadpool could finish that sentence the vial broke as Blade shot it out of his hand, peppering Deadpool's arm with bullets. "Oh you've done it now," grumbled the merc as he drew his own two blades and charged. "And if this idiot typing the story knows anything at all, its that you have no chance against... WHAT THE F...!?"
Deadpool's movement and train of thought was interrupted as he was covered in a sticky white substance. "Oh, its WEB. Phew, I thought this was going someplace totally different for a second there..." exhaled Wade as he harmlessly fell over and Spiderman descended while hanging upside down behind the daywalker. "I had him," grumbled Blade angrily, causing Parker to apologetically keep quiet after a weak "I'm sorry..?"
Blade didn't hear it. Instead he turned back to the helpless Deadpool while cracking his knuckles. "Now you're going to tell me all about your employer..."
Saturday 20 July 2024
Midnight Suns: Coming Doom
[Part of Superhero Stories]
By the time Blade, Illyana Rasputin and Nico Minoru found Tony Stark's body, the sun had set and the battle was long over. Screams and a familiar scent from below caught the Daywalker's attention. "Vampires," he muttered to his companions, clearly eager to do his job. "Go get them dude," approved Nico, the defacto leader of their little Midnight Suns group. "Illyana and I have got this." With a nod, Blade put on his shades and leapt off the building.
"I didn't know he could fly," said Nico in disbelief. "He can't," replied Illyana cooly. "I just opened a gate for him over the edge to help him land safely. Now are we going to get the name or what?"
Nico nodded. Due to the Darkhold seemingly always falling into evil hands there was a fail safe: the final page was ripped out and given to a guardian care taker whose name only two people knew: the sorcerer supreme Doctor Strange, of whom nothing was left, and Tony Stark. "Who has the final page of the Darkhold?" she asked Tony's corpse, followed by planting her Staff of One between them like a microphone. "ANSWER!" she commanded. In a sickly fashion Tony's corpse opened its eyes and responded with a whispered "Johnny Blaze" before being still once more.
"Looks like we're going to the circus," said Illyana non-nonchalantly as she used her sword to open a portal there and right into danger. The Quentin Carnival was already on fire and Johnny - an ex-Ghost Rider - was already having the Darkhold's final page extracted from his body by Wanda/Lilith herself, guarded by a mind controlled green giant who angrily looked their way. "HULK SMASH!" he yelled but before he could do anything, Nico used her staff once more. "SLEEP!" Overcome by the magic, the brute transformed back into Doctor Bruce Banner and collapsed limply at Wanda's feet, just as she finished retrieving the page from Johnny's fried corpse.
Not wasting a beat Illyana then warped herself right beside Wanda and stabbed through the Darkhold right into her with a special dagger. "It's made from a piece the dark god you were trying to summon," she explained with a wry smile to the perplexed villain. "You little bi.." started Wanda as she grabbed hold of Illyana's arm. Suddenly the space around the Darkhold warped, sucking in Wanda, Illyana, Johnny's corpse and the sleeping Doctor Banner into it. "NO!" screamed Nico as she moved forward to the book but suddenly took a bullet to the head, killing her instantly.
"Amateurs," spat Doctor Doom dismissively as he calmly holstered his Mauser pistol and picked up the Darkhold. Everything was going according to plan.
Friday 19 July 2024
Midnight Suns: For the Mother
[Part of Superhero Stories]
"Impossible," muttered Doctor Strange as he fell to his knees on the marble tiles of his Sanctorum, a gaping bloody hole through his chest. "Foolish sorcerer supreme," taunted Wanda as she gently floated towards him, clutching the Darkhold in one hand with her eyes glowing an unnatural hue of green. "I am Wanda no longer! You now face Lilith, the mother of demons!" With a horrible realization Doctor Strange screamed as he let loose one final spell that exploded into a swarm of butterflies.
"For the Mother!" screamed a mind-controlled Hydra soldier as he foolishly charged Iron Man with a stun baton, only to be blasted off the roof of the Avengers tower. "Where is Hydra getting all these clowns?" asked Tony over the comms as he continued to blast more Hydra soldiers away while launching rockets at the helicopters that were taking turns in either dropping off more troops or firing directly at him. In the distance he spotted "the Chimera" a SHIELD helicarrier also under Hydra assault when suddenly it exploded in a massive green cloud that fell upon the city. Tony Stark had to take a moment watching that, fighting every urge to go help as he knew he couldn't leave the Avenger's tower defenseless. "Jarvis, please tell me there are survivors!"
But it wasn't Jarvis who replied, instead it was Doctor Bruce Banner: "Tony, the Sanctum is gone." This had to be some terrible nightmare - who on Earth could take down the Avengers so easily? As usual Tony moved quickly from panic to shoveling blame barking "Where are you Bruce!? Things are falling apart over here and you're god knows where not even helping!" as he continued to battle the seemingly endless Hydra soldiers who seemed determined to simply overwhelm him with numbers.
"I am helping! I'm quite surprised your password for everything is still 'I AM IRONMAN' though," replied Banner. Suddenly the kill switch in the Iron Man suit activated and the armor self-stripped from the billionaire just as more Hydra troopers arrived with assault rifles drawn, mortally wounding him under a hail of gunfire. Collapsed in a pool of his own blood, Tony could only ask one thing as Hydra forces moved in to finish him off... "why?" Banner replied coldly. "For the Mother."
Thursday 18 July 2024
Trigger Warning and Under Paris
Movies with strong female leads?
Trigger Warning
When a military level operative (Jessica Alba) returns home due to her father's suspicious death, she decides to investigate for herself. There is a fair bit of action but the quality is only of ho-hum level, putting it just slightly better than the story itself. The part that most annoyed me but also made me laugh is just how "stealthy" the main character is (she isn't) but no one can freaking see her if she crouch walks apparently, regardless of what she is wearing and/or if they're staring right at her. Not really recommended unless you want to be "triggered". :P
Under Paris
Due to pollution (I guess?) sharks are mutating / evolving and one huge shark finds its way into the Seine and as per the title says "Under Paris". While the CGI and premise are ok, the plot details and acting aren't the best. I really hate the animal activists / environmentalists lens on the whole thing as the "saving the shark" thing is what causes the most problems and gets people killed. That said, I do like that the shark isn't the "bad guy". Sure it eats, defends itself and can get mad but its all usually reactionary to something people did (usually our -inept- strong female characters). I also think this movie features the "cleanest garbage in ocean" shot I've ever seen and I really enjoyed the ending. Even with all that I'm still not recommending this one as the bad still outweighs the good.
Wednesday 17 July 2024
Sweet Tooth Manifest
Two TV series that have endings!
Sweet Tooth
When babies start being born with animal traits and a deadly pinky-shaking virus spreads among the remaining pure blooded humans it spells the end of the world, but somehow in this bleakness there is also hope and integrity thanks to a little deer boy named Gus (excellently played by Christian Convery) as he is forced to venture out into a dangerous world but still makes many friends in the process. Good writing and good characters make this three season show easy to watch and to recommend! Something here for everyone I think. :)
Manifest
This four season show follows the passengers of flight 828 who for mysterious plot device reasons arrive 5 years later than they are expected to and begin experiencing hallucinations and instructions that need to be followed... "just because"! The hook is interesting enough to get started but the gimmick really is an odd one that barely makes any sense. However the series as a whole does get stronger as it goes along despite characters taking turns with the idiot ball. An OK show and one you should at least try out, but if you are only going to watch one of these then Sweet Tooth is the winner.
Tuesday 16 July 2024
The New Mutants (Movie), Freshly Frosted & Redout II
A throwaway trio.
The New Mutants (Movie)
Taking place almost exclusively in a facility where (very few) teenagers have just begun manifesting their mutant powers, the teens begin experiencing their worst fears after their newest arrival. This might work for a standard horror but since it's X-men based its very hard to be scared for them as they each have freaking supernatural abilities to defend themselves. Outside of the very brief moments where they do, the rest of the film feels really slow which is bad given it's only got a 1.5 hour runtime. There are ways to have made this scarier and better, but this end result is not something I'd recommend watching.
Freshly Frosted
One of the strangest production line building puzzle games given that its just someone imagining it while staring at the clouds, I do like the simplicity of at least the first few levels especially since its all just about laying conveyor belts with super easy controls and nothing else. Very chill too, but obviously I'd prefer to be eating donuts than playing this. :P
Redout II
This futuristic roller coaster racer is the improved version of Redout as it now offers training courses, a campaign and competitive head to head racing against up to 12 players online. Obviously still not for me as I'm terrible at racing games and am still confused at the difference between turn and strafe and the combinations of the two, but I do like that they removed the explodey "temp death" for the virtual training tracks at least.
Monday 15 July 2024
Guardians of the Galaxy: The Split
[Part of Superhero Stories]
The trip back to their unofficial headquarters at Knowhere (a colonized severed head of a giant Celestial floating in space) was a quiet one with Gamora upset at the loss of Nebula, Peter upset at the loss of Drax, Rocket upset at the loss of the treasure and Groot saddened by the state of the team. As soon as they landed, Gamora was the first one off with all her things slung over her shoulder and Peter not far behind, chasing her.
"I want nothing more to do with any of you!" she yelled angrily behind her, but Peter wouldn't be dissuaded so she turned around to look him in the eyes. "I'm joining the ravagers. Goodbye Peter, next time warm your bed with the rodent!"
"Yeah, that ain't happening Quill," piped in Rocket having over heard from the base of the gangway.
"Rocket, just wait for me while I talk some sense into Gamora OK?"
Rocket nodded and gave Peter the thumbs up, and as soon as he was two hundred meters away immediately pulled Groot back into the Milano and took off. "See you never, suckers!" Rocket yelled as he could see Peter mouthing "Oh, come on!" below. "I am Groot?" asked his tree friend. "Well, he's the one who said he'd give me the ship okay? Besides maybe we can form our own Guardians or maybe just do some bounty hunting again for a bit like we used to? I've got just the mark too - just look at him: 'Doctor Spectrum', what a joke. All I see is an easy payday!"
Back on Knowhere Peter found himself drinking alone a bar having been abandoned by his friends. "What happened Peter Quill? You smell so sad," came a familiar voice echoing in his head as a cold nose nuzzled his hand. Peter looked down to see Cosmo the space golden retriever-labrador looking up at him inquisitively. "I screwed up," Peter sighed. "I was thinking maybe I should take a break and head back to Earth. Maybe my life wouldn't be so messed up right now if I was there."
Cosmo's tail wagged slowly as the dog's voice once again came through telepathically. "I'm not so sure about that. The grass isn't always greener on the other side, da?" Peter couldn't help but pet the good dog on the head.
Sunday 14 July 2024
Guardians of the Galaxy: Table Turning
With the cup artifact now in his hands, Peter listened closely to Nebula. "You need to put it on that circular altar in the center of the room, and if you turn it right it powers up the artifact. If you turn it left, it will destroy the artifact."
"It's too powerful for anyone to have. We should destroy it," advised Gamora, who was backed by an "I am Groot".
"No, we should use it to revive my family," countered Drax. "And my friends," continued Rocket. "And ... even your mom, Peter."
Peter thought about it for a moment then put it on the altar. "I'm with Rocket and Drax, we can really make use of this," and turned the artifact causing it to begin to shake, crack and glow. "Peter! What did you do!?" yelped a dismayed Rocket. "I turned it to the right! Wait... was it your right or my right?" At this moment the Kree main force arrived, blasting away with their rifles and damaging Peter's jet boots and hitting Nebula multiple times as she moved forward to shield her sister.
Mid-fight the very ground began to shake violently as the cup artifact exploded into tiny pieces, encouraging the remaining Kree forces to flee. "Earthquake!?" yelled Peter. "Unlikely, as we are not on Earth," replied Drax from behind cover. With no feasible exit for the team, Groot encapsulated them all with his branches to cover them as the very floor gave way sending them falling to some large tunnels below and right into the nest of some voracious tunnel worms!
With an endless assault of the monsters it was clear they needed to get moving, but Gamora wouldn't leave the already expired Nebula's side. "Gamora! She's dead weight, you gotta leave her!" yelled Rocket as he blasted away another batch of worms just as his gun jammed. With little time to let her process her feelings, Peter decided to give an order: "Groot, carry Gamora!" The tree obliged, gently taking the furious assassin into a basket cage on his back while Peter picked up Rocket who was too slow with his little legs.
While it looked like they were making some distance from the little worms, the sudden roar of a huge mother worm alerted them to the new threat that they couldn't outrun. "Oh flark, we're not gonna make it!" cried Rocket as Drax decided to turn around. "Drax, what are you doing?" asked Peter as he ran past him. "I will cherish the time we had, Peter Quill." With both blades out and not looking back Drax leaped at the mother worm with a mighty yell as it came around a corner, knocking it and himself off into a deep and seemingly bottomless abyss.
Saturday 13 July 2024
Guardians of the Galaxy: Holy Grail
[Part of Superhero Stories]
"Guardians of the Galaxy," crackled a transmission on the comms as the Milano's engine's suddenly came back online. "This is Nova Corps, we require assistance and have remotely deactivated your engine disabler. Please respond." Peter stuck his head out of his room and called out "Rocket! You hearing this?"
"Yup! We're all systems go. I say we flark off and leave those cops to whatever trouble they're in; serves em right for keeping us adrift for a week!"
"No, we need to go help them," demanded Gamora as she left Peter's room wearing only his blanket, much to Peter's chagrin. "What?" she asked him defiantly, "It's not like they don't know what we were doing." Without looking up from the book he was reading Drax, lounging on the couch, agreed. "Indeed, we could all hear Peter Quill's squeals the entire week. He was very loud." Groot nodded with a smile.
"Send us your coordinates and we'll be right there," Gamora said into the comm link, having shoved Rocket away and in no time at all the Milano was touching down outside an abandoned temple on a dusty barren planet - remnants of Nova Corp ships and corpses of troopers littering the surroundings and the interior. "Sheesh, it doesn't look like it went well for the Nova Corps," said Rocket, stating the obvious as he kicked one of the bodies.
They followed some dusty stairs down to what looked like a treasure vault, still literred with gems and baubles with a squad of Kree infiltrators standing guard. The Kree opened fire immediately but they were no match for the combined skills of the Guardians of the Galaxy (especially as they had just finished fighting the Nova Corps guardsmen) and as Gamora moved to take care of the last hostile she stopped mid-swing. "Nebula? What are you doing here?"
"I was hired as a translator for ancient Kree. The pay is good," she responded cooly. "Are you going to raise your weapon and fight us with honor now or stab us in the back later?" asked Drax gruffly. "The pay isn't that good," Nebula replied with one eyebrow raised. "You need to hurry though, their main force will be here soon to retrieve this," holding up a strange cup-like artifact. "Oh yeah? What's it supposed to do?" asked Rocket.
"According to the text, it can raise the dead."
Friday 12 July 2024
Guardians of the Galaxy: Dead in Space
[Part of Superhero Stories]
"Look whose come crawling back to us," grumbled Rocket having watched the latest transaction take place. Groot, as always, was far more welcoming - offering a beaming smile and a wave as Peter made his way to them. "Guys, I'm sorry," said Peter earnestly. "I could really use your help." Rocket waved him off. "It's always 'I'm sorry, I'm sorry' - until you screw everything up again! What makes you think we're even going to help you this time?"
"Because I'm going to give you the ship." Rocket's ears perked up at this. "No kidding? What do you need?"
By the time the Milano returned to the Nova Corps cruiser there was there was a sizeable fleet around it but none of them stopped what they assumed was more worshipers on the pilgrimage to their new god. With Quill flanked by Groot and Rocket, they walked like the other converted did - a bluff that fooled almost all onlookers until they reached the old man with the worm. "Halt," said a familiar muscular form that blocked their path. "We come to join the promise," Peter said. "I hear your lies, Peter Quill," grumbled Drax as he unsheathed his blades.
"It's pronounced Star-Lord," said Peter as he used his jet boots to hop up and let Groot's roots grab Drax by surprise to toss him into the crowd where Rocket began launching smoke grenades. The old man lifted his robotic arms to fight back when suddenly a blade sliced right through his head, causing his limp body to collapse to the floor. "Gamora?" asked Peter joyfully. "A good assassin waits for their moment to strike," she replied with a smile. Peter couldn't enjoy it though as the black space worm angrily raised itself behind her. Boosting forward he grabbed the burning gem from what was left of the old man's head and rammed it straight into the dark creature before it could strike Gamora from behind, somehow sealing it back into the stone.
With it gone, all those previously mind controlled by it were suddenly released again - the only damage a brief headache. "We need to get rid of that thing," said Gamora as she wiped the blood off her blade. Peter agreed, "I know just the place." With that, the stone was unceremoniously dropped on the dead planet of Vormir where no one would ever think to look for it.
"So uh, when are does this ship become my ship?" asked Rocket as Peter took the captain's chair once again. "Uh... soon!?" was all Peter could come up with. At that moment, the engines suddenly cut out leaving them drifting in space. "Peter Quill, did you forget to pay off the Nova Corps fine?" asked Drax much to the groans of all on board.
Thursday 11 July 2024
Guardians of the Galaxy: A Big Deal
[Part of Superhero Stories]
It was quite the sight from the metal cat walk, a whole platoon of Nova Corps troopers on their knees worshiping a "floating old guy" as Mantis had described, but Peter could see that the strange worm he had accidentally released earlier was hugging the old man's back like a leech, and the orange gem was implanted in his forehead. "Did you really need to see it for yourself!?" hissed Mantis angrily as she snuck up beside him with Drax and Gamora not far behind. "Yeah... I..." stammered Peter before he noticed Drax suddenly stand upright as if possessed, a purple glow eminating from his eyes. "My friends!" announced Drax while addressing the Guardians and catching the attention of all those below. "Come join us in the promise!"
Of course Drax would beat Gamora.
Once they were out at a safe distance, Peter killed the thrusters and put his head in his hands. "We have to go back," he said as Mantis put a hand on his shoulder. "Peter, they've got an ever growing army over there and we just have the two of us. Even if we could ask for help from anyone, who is to say they wouldn't be affected too?" Peter sighed. "This is my fault Mantis. I've got to fix this."
"I understand... but could you maybe drop me off somewhere first?" asked Mantis sheepishly. "Don't worry," Peter replied with sudden confidence. "I've got a plan. What do you say to being an advisor to a powerful ruler?" Mantis blinked her big eyes in confusion as she soon found herself in the throne room of Lady Hellbender.
"Peter Quill, I am not running an Earth pawn shop. All transactions are final," spoke the leotard-clad giant of woman. "Lady Hellbender, I'm offering you all your units back plus this empath to serve as your advisor." She looked at Mantis from head to toe, appraising her value. "And you, little one. Is this what you truly want?" Mantis took a minute to think.
"Well... at first I was like really scared, but I can tell you really are passionate about your collection. And you have really cute pets too, so yes - I think this benefits all of us."
Lady Hellbender smiled at this. "Very well, Peter Quill. You have a deal."
Wednesday 10 July 2024
Guardians of the Galaxy: It's not Fine
[Part of Superhero Stories]
"NO," was the chorus of Rocket, Gamora and Peter to Drax's suggestion. "But Lady Hellbender's planet is close by and she will pay handsomely if we can capture Fin Fang Foom for her." Rocket rolled his eyes, "Yeah but we also want to live you big lug. There ain't no way we're surviving a fight against that dragon." Drax nodded. "It would be an honorable death," much to the groans of the others.
"I am Groot," suggested Groot which shocked Rocket. "No, no way. Groot... Groot's volunteering to be sold to Lady Hellbender so we can pay the fine. But we're not even going to be considering that right?"
Drax, Quill and Gamora looked at each other in silence... and at the twelve thousand units now on their mess table that Lady Hellbender paid for their 'flora colossus'. Rocket decided to stay with him - though as a guest of the Lady instead of as a new pet. "We'll get them back," said Peter quietly to himself for the hundredth time. "Let's just go pay off the fine," said Gamora, disgusted at both at herself and her companions. Only Drax was more positive, musing "At least now it is just the three of us using your toothbrush, Peter Quill."
It wasn't long before the Milano re-docked on the Nova Corps cruiser but this time the hustle and bustle of the Nova Corps crew was noticeably absent. "Where is everyone?" asked Peter out loud as they entered an empty reception area, and all three are surprised to hear "Shhhhh..." in reply from underneath a counter. "Mantis? What are you doing here?" asked Gamora upon discovering their friend. "And why are you whispering?" asked Drax loudly.
"Guys, keep it down!" hissed Mantis. "I was learning how to fly a spaceship and... well... I crashed into some other spaceships and now I'm here to pay my fine but something's not right - I've seen Nova Corps killing each other and worshiping some floating old guy, and I can't leave since all the ships were put into lock down."
"Your ship must be weak. Ours was not locked down," said Drax proudly. "Probably because we arrived after the lock down order was given," explained Gamora. "Really? That's great!" beamed Mantis. "We need to get out of here right n... Peter? Peter! Where are you going?"
Tuesday 9 July 2024
Guardians of the Galaxy: What the Flark
[Part of Superhero Stories]
Peter Quill recoiled in pain as he let go of the orange gem sending it clattering off on the metal deck of the abandoned space mining rig, the burning sensation in his hand immediately dissipating as he did so. He quickly drew a blaster with his other hand as he watched a shadowy worm ooze out of this "lucky find" and out a nearby grating and after just five tense seconds the entire (already unreliable) structure began to shake. Without missing a beat he turned tail and ran, back to the hallway where the rest of his team shot him quizical looks while trying to keep upright.
"Peter... what did you do!?" asked Gamora in an accusational tone. "Nothing, I swear! Come on - we need to get back to the Milano before this entire place falls apart!". With more than a little bickering Peter, Gamora, Drax, Groot and Rocket made it back aboard their ship, boosting off the collapsing heap of space debris, out of the illegal quarantine zone and right into a patrolling Nova Corp cruiser just as their engines conked out. An authorative voice came over the comms: "Guardians of the Galaxy, you are under arrest for trespassing into the Quarantine Zone. Prepare to be boarded." The Guardians could do nothing but groan with Rocket muttering "again?" and Groot imparting an unhappy "I am Groot."
To their surprise, their incarceration only spans a matter of hours before they find themselves back on the Milano, albeit with a new piece of Nova Corps gear attached to the helm. "What did they do to my ship!?" questioned Rocket as he poked at the newly added device. "My ship," corrected Peter. "And that's a disabler. I managed to convince the captain to let us go with just a fine that we need to pay in three cycles. Yeah, she and I go way back."
"What the flark Quill, you sleeping with cops now?" asked Rocket, but Drax's more direct question of "How much is this fine?" is what they all paid attention to. "...seven thousand units," replied Peter with a squirm. "SEVEN THOUSAND!?" exploded Gamora. "Where are we going to get that kind of money!? We'll be lucky to find forty units on board right now." Peter shrugged. "I'm open to suggestions..."
Superhero Stories
Because I'm annoyed at how much filler there is in some of the superhero games I've been playing, I decided to make a cut down version of the stories with my own spin just for fun. AKA fanfiction yerp? :P
Guardians of the Galaxy (2021 game)
Chapter 1: What the Flark
Chapter 2: It's not Fine
Chapter 3: A Big Deal
Chapter 4: Dead in Space
Chapter 5: Holy Grail (delisted 2017 Telltale game)
Chapter 6: Table Turning
Chapter 7: The Split
Midnight Suns (2022 game)
Chapter 8: For the Mother
Chapter 9: Coming Doom
Chapter 10: Sticky Fingers (DLCs)
Chapter 11: The Big D
Marvel's Avengers (delisted 2020 game)
Chapter 12: New Blood
Chapter 13: Powerless
Chapter 14: Old Guard
Monday 8 July 2024
Marvel's Guardians of the Galaxy and Marvel's Midnight Suns
Two marvelous games!
Marvel's Guardians of the Galaxy (2021)
This very fun and very beautiful (graphically) take on a Guardians of the Galaxy adventure caught me by surprise a bit as it's quality is truly fantastic with top notch writing and voice acting to boot. While I do enjoy the "huddle" mechanic too (mid combat you can just call a time out to rally your team as the bad guys just stand around I suppose? lol) the fighting and QTEs are actually the weakest part of the game - yet the designers felt that throwing more and more fights was the best way to get filler to pad it out. Still recommended, but expect a bit of a slog in some parts as wave after wave of the same enemy you fought before gets in your way of experiencing the next part of the story.
Marvel's Midnight Suns
When Hydra somehow raises the mother of demons it's up to a lesser known hero team to step up and save the world, but they've got help from more famous characters from the Avengers and X-men too. While the graphics in this one aren't the best it does also have a decent story, some excellent card and turn based combat, and a customizable "player hero" so that you can really feel you are with the more established ones. That might sound corny but it's actually done really well as it also ties into the story. Again the designers felt forcing you to do a "general" (extra) mission in between each story one was a good way to pad this out but I don't mind it so much here as the combat actually is very good. For long time readers who know how much of a scrooge I am with money, I actually enjoyed this so much that I bought (and finished) all four DLCs. Highly recommended!
Sunday 7 July 2024
Glass (2019), Hit Man (2023) and Blue Beetle (2023)
One of these is not like the other.
Glass
M. Night Shyamalan's "third chapter" of Unbreakable and Split has all the main characters rounded up and put in a psychiatric facility to try be cured of their notions of being "super human". It's definitely a change of pace to your standard superhero fare and the ending might even piss you off, but the tale being told is a good one with the extremely talented James McAvoy actually stealing the show over both Bruce Willis and Samuel L. Jackson's title character. Recommendation for this one is a bit tricky, but I'm pretty sure if you are a fan of James McAvoy and/or Split, you will enjoy this. Also recommended if you just like all of M. Night's movies anyway. :P
Hit Man
If you were playing the "which one is not like the other" game in this post, this comedy movie is the answer. In it a regular but pretty smart guy (played by the exceptional Glen Powell) moonlights as an aide to the police department by pretending to be multiple "Hit Men", catering the "Hit Man" per client and then getting them to admit via recording their intenet to murder people which leads to their arrests. Shenanigans occur when one of his fake personas become better than his regular persona. Unlike Glass, this one is easy to recommend as it is very light hearted and entertaining. Go see it if you haven't yet!
Blue Beetle
Jaime Reyes (Xolo Mariduena doing the best he can with the script) is just trying to get a job to support his poor (but incredibly annoying and obnoxious) family when he becomes selected by an alien Scarab and sentient weapon to turn him into the titular superhero Blue Beetle. I'm going to assume this was made for the younger Mexican audience as the plot really caters to them but boy do I have issues with it. Like, is Jaime really the hero or are all his "heroics" controlled by the scarab anyway? Sure he doesn't want to kill, at the start anyway (and then what happens?). This doesn't stop the rest of his family from totally murdering those generic bad guy soldiers though. Getting grandma to chain gun a whole bunch without taking any hits in return really must get the laughs right? So... yeah. It's that type of movie and despite having the DC budget is the worst of this trio.
Thursday 4 July 2024
Blades in the Heart: Beyond the Barrier
[Part of the Party Time journal]
A mess of derailed trains ends the track for mom, Rose and DL who follow tracks in the sand up a hill to find all the draftees dead and arranged in a ritual circle with a lone cultist in the middle, guarded by a ghost train. As Rose is flying and holding her companions, the idiot cultist doesn't notice as DL drops down from right above him, cleaving him in two. DL then deftly dodges the ghost train while shoving a batch of TNT up its choo-choo destroying it in the explosion (as the anchor was on board) - gaining "I am the night" ability which lets him just appear in any scene he wants to (at a cost of stress).
They then take their train backwards to a Snake like cave opening and encounter in a large cavern below, a great Snake demon who had been feasting on cultists that previously sought to take its treasure. It wants to be entertained and play a game but mom says "No, we don't have time for that" which leads to battle. Dodging its acid spit, Rose manages to fly up and hit it with trance powder - making it fall from the stalactites it is hanging from to the floor. Mom then touches it with her Death Manifest power (ticking her clock) and it immediately dies. Closer investigation nets them a voice activated bomb that was actually inside the snake, with the activation word "Ungala-boonga".
They then return to town to pick up Juris and the Pink Fart which they sail to the next ritual site, a cultist ship! Rather than mess around Juris uses all of his ghost powered torpedo TNTs to punch holes in that vessel but its not enough to sink it. Instead Rose uses her new "Ultimate Lie" abilitiy (which can bend reality at the cost of stress) to further open the holes and sink the vessel! Afterwards they dock at the Lost District where Juris asks a swarm of mimic mice (they try complete the shape of things that they're eating) for directions and reach the Old Lord Governor's palace.
Here, DL, Mom and Rose deal with exploding spike ghosts while Juris enters a pitch black force field to face his mistress Quellyn in her own domain. He almost breaks again with traumatic memories such as "remember all those after class times we enjoyed with one another" and "we experimented on our child together!" but is ultimately victorious in electrocuting Quellyn to death, shattering her domain and learning how to make his own (yes, totally stolen from Jujutsu Kaisen :P).
Wednesday 3 July 2024
Blades in the Heart: Gluttony and Pestilence
[Part of the Party Time journal]
The following session the team is split up early - mom accepts a challenge from the assassin Steiner who has kidnapped Mother Narya (and put a bomb around her), DL is tricked by Father Yoren (who is actually possessed with his murderous ex Mercy) to go have a drink at the tavern where Grace (his current girlfriend) works, Rose is convinced by her friend Klyra to give herself over to the Ironhook guards as an exchange to get Klyra's brother Harker out, and Juris pursues Roslyn Dimmer (who was once Nyryx's vessel) through a ghost door as she dog-naps Nyryx the second.
Mom wins her duel and disables the bomb, DL one punches to KO and disables the suicide vest of Father Yoren's Mercy, but s/he gets a shot off that injures Grace, Rose simply lets the transfer happen then closes her eyes (turns invisible) and flies away (LOL I forgot she could do that), and Juris gets his corgi back but is left by Roslyn in the ghost realm with some zombie hollows and the demon Master Slane. Alas, zombie hollows can be controlled by his Lord of Nature ability and Slane fights so poorly that the demon is quickly overwhelmed by them and Juris' lightning. Juris then helps the zombies devour him before escaping out of the ghost field and taking Mercy out of Father Yoren, anchoring her to a bottle which he returns to DL (a bottle of Mercy). He also then tinkers with the TNT explosives DL and Mom recovered.
While the others then regroup to take down more ritual sites (as that is the driving tension I'm using with the timer ticking down), Juris decides to go off on his own and gets Matt Demon's help in tracking down Roslyn (who seems capable of ghost field hopping) for some payback. They eventually corner her in the basement of the now defunct Cathedral of the Ecstasy of the Flesh and using a single stick of TNT collapse the structure on her. She almost dies, so Juris bottles her spirit and devours her body.
Meanwhile at the Gaddoc Rail Station, DL, Mom, Rose and Mara go to find all the station staff dead including the passengers on the now parked train from Tycheros. The victims include mom's contact, Veleris, whose journal details a deadly plague spreading in that Northern nation. Following his journal, the heroes (immune because tier VII armor) collect and burn the corpses while Mara informs the authorities. As this is the first train available to them (the previous ones were all ferrying drafted soldiers to the war in the South), they then commandeer this one with DL driving to reach the next ritual sites further out from the barrier.
Tuesday 2 July 2024
Blades in the Heart: The Pink Fart
[Part of the Party Time journal]
The next day the team meets Mara, their new liaison to Lord Governor Kotar, who goes with DL and Rose to Bellweather crematorium which had been flagged as another ritual site. The Spirit Wardens within haven't been doing their jobs as they're still being "repaired" by the new master builder Bob, but obviously this is a ruse as Bob is working with the cult. While Bob (in his robot suit) is easily defeated, Rose manages to convince the remaining wardens that they aren't bad and succeeds. Mara is super impressed with this and wants to be her student. As this is one of Rose's dream goals, she gains the ability to fly.
Meanwhile, Juris and Mom work for Lord Elon to find his cousin (Fartinghard) who he believes is in danger. In exchange Elon will divulge a possible new ritual site that's cropped up. While his child workers really do intend to kill him, they haven't yet and they find the slouch blind drunk on his new pink barge. After convincing the murderous kids that they'll "handle it", Juris helps Quill pull Fartinghard's spirit out and put the spirit of Quill's deceased brother in the body. Juris then anchors Fartinghard's spirit to the barge which they rename "the Pink Fart" and take it as their own then succeed their bluff to Elon that Fartinghard's "ok, just drunk". Elon reveals the new location to be near the eelfarms but the team ignores it to first go to the site at the North Hook Lighthouse (via their new boat).
There they encounter a humorous lighthouse keeper hull who is very forthcoming by telling them "don't disturb the ritual upstairs and definitely don't look at the bombs in the basement", so DL disarms the bombs, mom disrupts the ritual site and Juris tries to free the hull of his master's control - but fails. Instead in his mindscape Juris encounters his teacher Quellyn, who reveals she has been keeping him safe by blocking out traumatic memories. Due to his continued interference she lets one return: "Did your best friend Flint ever forgive you for experimenting on his girlfriend's soul?"
This breaks Juris and puts him in a trauma coma so the team grab him and Rose, who decided to check out the nearby masquerade street party being held by (vampiress) Lady Freya Oriolle who wishes to unseat Lady Drake from her magistracy seat, before getting back on the Pink Fart and sailing back to base to recover. For her actions today mom also gains a new ability - she can now "eat" trauma. Hers or anyone else's (for a mystery penalty). Juris doesn't like the sound of that so just prefers to take the trauma hit normally.
Monday 1 July 2024
Jujutsu Kaisen (Seasons 1-2) and 0 (movie)
It feels like Naruto, but better and bloodier.
This anime features some of the best combat animation I've seen for awhile. Where other series have slow story episodes so that the animators can make some epic fight scenes later on, this one throws that formula out the window with some crazy combat happening almost every single episode! The flip side of course is that the story does dip into silly territory often, to the point that it might be two minor characters you don't actually care about but they're having an epic animated fight. :P
The main premise of the show is a nice one though - our high school protagonist joins a secret group of sorcerer / martial artists to try kill an ultra powerful curse who he happens to be the host for. Thumbs up so far, though on my first watch I did not actually get that the main character is being possessed by the main villain. There are also awkward humor bits (Naruto does this better), and it did take me longer to warm up to the character roster here despite them even making the bad guys have silly and funny moments.
But the best part of this show is that it isn't afraid to kill its characters left, right and center. Things always pick up when that happens and this, along with the aforementioned animation, earns two thumbs up from me. Recommended, and I'm looking forward to season three!