Wednesday, 16 January 2019

Absurd Game Ideas - Wind of Hero

[Part of the Absurd Game Ideas folder]

Many game bloggers, including myself, usually talk about our ideal games or how to improve the games we currently play. Well I thought it would be fun to flip the script and share our most absurd and silly game or game mod ideas! You are invited to blog your own crazy ideas too! :)

For today I give you...

Wind of Hero

Aliens have attacked the Earth and every nation has been brought to their knees against the advanced technology the invaders posses, but the aliens didn't count on one thing... flatulence. In this action RPG, players take the role of "Hero", a fully customizable cow who must save the world by farting the aliens to death.

To do this you must to graze on various combinations of plants that can make your farts stronger, denser, wider, more lasting, reach farther, refract lasers better, be more silent, be more deadly and so forth while eluding enemy patrols or luring them into close quarter ambushes. This game also supports co-op drop ins, adding more cows to the mix. The time has come to stink out the alien invaders and to make everyone smell the Wind of Hero!

Tuesday, 15 January 2019

Itch.io - Unnecessary Evil

Clever little platformer.

Behold your band of heroes!

I've only recently found out about Itch.io, another games trading site that has a large free games section. In there I found this clever little game that I thought I'd share: "Unnecessary Evil". It is a very short platformer that's a bit loose on copyright, but I can highly recommend to everyone. Give it a try if you have a few minutes! :)

Monday, 14 January 2019

Absurd Game Ideas - Porcelain Empire

[Part of the Absurd Game Ideas folder]

Many game bloggers, including myself, usually talk about our ideal games or how to improve the games we currently play. Well I thought it would be fun to flip the script and share our most absurd and silly game or game mod ideas! You are invited to blog your own crazy ideas too! :)

For today I give you...

Porcelain Empire

In this RTS that rival the likes of StarCraft, players step into the shoes of rival toilet manufacturers vying for total control of the market. Resources will need to be managed to increase production, storage, delivery, and sales facilites all while hiring workers, salesmen, researchers, drivers, spies, security guards, lawyers and more.

While there is little combat in the traditional RTS sense, players must endeavour to behave within the laws or at least not get caught while breaking them, but with risk comes reward! Speeding drivers deliver goods faster. Money can be saved by cooking the books and dodging taxes. Planting evidence at rivals structures might slow them down to deal with the cops. Putting large quantities of laxatives in the city drinking water increases demand.

All viable tactics in your quest to create your own Porcelain Empire!

Saturday, 12 January 2019

Time Raiders

Because Tomb Raider was copyrighted.

When a family of tomb raiders finds the map and key to a lost tomb, you can guess what happens next! While that summary is pretty accurate, don't let the simplicity fool you. There is a lot of WTF going on in this movie.

Checklist for tomb raiding: Heavy coat. Check. Sniper rifle. Check.

Foreign mercs, ultra fake swords, puzzling flashbacks, magic flutes, creepy puppets, some decent martial arts bits, CGI creatures and a massive, oddly designed tomb are just some of the things lurking beneath the surface.

There's a lot of money that went into this, and you can tell from the props and set design - and while the main tomb raiding plot is fine to follow, the subplot of the two almost more than friends "boy band" leads is anything but.

It almost feels like they tried to fit too many ideas into one movie, making it a jumbled mess. Pity, because there are some fun bits. That said, I wouldn't watch it again and score it 1.5 golden masks out of 5.

Absurd Game Ideas - Dr. Extractor (VR)

[Part of the Absurd Game Ideas folder]

Many game bloggers, including myself, usually talk about our ideal games or how to improve the games we currently play. Well I thought it would be fun to flip the script and share our most absurd and silly game or game mod ideas! You are invited to blog your own crazy ideas too! :)

For today I give you...

Dr. Extractor (VR)

This feel good game uses cutting edge Virtual Reality technology where players step into the shoes of Doctor Extractor to use their own hands and precision tools to squeeze, pull, stretch, and coax out pimples, black heads, cysts and more from randomly generated patients until they are fully purified. Catch the sebum in your own hands and experience Dr Extractor (VR) today!

Thursday, 10 January 2019

Neverwinter Online: The Heart of Fire

After the spectacular Ravenloft Module, Neverwinter followed up by breaking professions with this Acquisitions Incorporated themed release that lets players help the bumbling company in retrieving the titular Heart of Fire (which is a nifty rank 14 enchant), and more!

Well, no - not a lot more. My gut feeling from seeing the trailer was it would be a disappointment, and lo and behold, I was right. I suppose Cryptic wanted to tap into these D&D internet celebrities to gain more players, resulting in a campaign designed as such - with a humorous tone that is so alien to the rest of the game outside from some foundry missions. This might have won over a few more people if they had humor that didn't insult the player in every third sentence.

Also, Xanathar has lost any potential of being a serious threat.

Design wise, the repetition of the campaign quests is even more painful when you try max out the weekly tokens through sheer stupid design with only one repeatable quest to fill out what your weeklies can't. As a whole its so bad that its made me take a break from the game.

In short, this module is utterly garbage and the next one better have the quality of Ravenloft x 100  if Cryptic wants to keep Neverwinter Online alive. At least, alive for me. One of the worst modules EVER. (Storm King's fishing stupidity is pretty hard to beat).

Wednesday, 9 January 2019

Absurd Game Ideas - Pussy... of Death!

[Part of the Absurd Game Ideas folder]

Many game bloggers, including myself, usually talk about our ideal games or how to improve the games we currently play. Well I thought it would be fun to flip the script and share our most absurd and silly game or game mod ideas! You are invited to blog your own crazy ideas too! :)

For today I give you...

Pussy... of Death!

In this open world stealth sandbox, you play a stray cat whose goal is to charm and woo your way into the hearts and homes of humans - and then murder them. Trip them downstairs, drop active appliances into their baths, startle them into traffic, or just push them into wood chippers all while avoiding patrolling hound and pound units and keeping suspicion low as to access the next unwitting human's home.

Multiplayer supports co-op where you can team up with buddies to perform even more devilishly gruesome executions or competitively to see who can kill the most humans in a set time limit. Earn the respect of your fellow felines and become the true Pussy... of Death!