Wildcat, Terror on the Praire and Deep Cover

Where bullets never hit unless the plot decides they should.

Wildcat

This action film follows ex-spec ops Ada (played by Kate Beckinsale), who calls on her old comrades and buffoon of a brother to pull off a heist to save her young daughter. Why didn't they just go rescue the daughter directly and why does the already small team split up to do their individual side-quests? To fill/pad out the runtime! One of those said side-quests could have been cut out all together and it would have improved the film. Also Kate's no longer the action-vixen she was in the Underworld movies (now she's just a vixen :P), and her melee skills now detract to the whole thing. There's also friendly fire incident is also pretty bad as is the way the film tries to handle Ada's brother's character who definitely should have been left at home as he just puts everyone in danger all the time. Not recommended.

Terror on the Praire

This Western has Gina Carano starring as a normal wife trying to eke out a living on the inhospitable frontier, and that's before a band of bad dudes shows up at her door! While the boiled down main story of this is ok, they sure put a lot of filler scenes to the point I think the movie runtime could be cut in half and still be able to tell its story. Also while I do like that our protagonist really is not very bright and definitely terrible at shooting, that just makes it harder to fathom why the bad guys have such low morale in shootouts, continually being pushed back after what seem to be decent enough tactics to close ground. You outnumber your cornered and unskilled prey. WTF guys. Not recommended.

Deep Cover

When a trio of stand up comedians are recruited by law enforcement to act as undercover operatives it puts their improvisational skills to the test as they quickly find themselves getting into deeper and deeper trouble as what's supposed to be a superficial job somehow gets them deep into layers of organized crime. There are some decent laughs to be had in this comedy, but to make it work it is filled with silly bad guys and plot armor saves like you wouldn't believe. All up an OK flick if you have nothing else to watch.

Drowning in too many things

Hmm, that's actually a good title for a de-cluttering type of post but it's actually just the continuation of my work overload. On the plus side, I've found a good set of youtube tracks to listen to that gets me in the working mood. AI generated cyberpunk synth music? It's pretty cool.

Here are a few of my regulars:
1999 - Drift into Memory 
2088 - Protocol: Airstrike
1999 - Momentum Over Fear 
1996 - Neural Link Broken
1989 - Walk Through Fire

The Friday night game sessions are currently Ready or Not, which is a FPS law enforcement game that reminds me a lot of SWAT3. DL has a video of one of our play throughs of that for those who prefer a more visual stimulus. :) 

More than Nothing: Skydagger

[Part of the Party Time journal]

The squad remains at Hazelbrook for months until a message via raven suddenly arrives instructing them to destroy the Hazelbrook bridge that fords a deep and wide ravine. The get to it immediately, witnessing a small squad of crusaders fleeing from a massive dust cloud caused by a horde of cavalry of the Wang Dynasty. They get the squad across the bridge before collapsing it, dropping some of the pursuers to their deaths below. 

From across the chasm, general Wang Bang mocks them - showing off his coin-sword and the head of Ino Imzoro, promising to make their whole nation bow to the mighty Wang - the descendants of the Bhir'Beli Tigidig worshipers, before leading his horsemen away. The survivors tell them they are the last of Ino's crusaders, having been wiped out by the Wangs who were also purging the worm worshipers of El Kanadar from their end. 

At least there were survivors - which is more than nothing, but knowing they can't hope to survive against that number of enemies without a strategic advantage, the squad and their 35 allies quickly make their way back towards Skydagger - losing five to the giant cats in a rainy, red leaf forest as they opt to go fast instead of safe.

They then travel through a large underground cave of giant spiders but don't linger, also bypassing a supposedly abandoned prison but flickering lights in the windows and screams from within indicate otherwise. They deftly dodge pit traps around the facility, even pulling an escapee to freedom who joins them: the clockwork knight Kenrick! 

Finally they make it to the ruined Skydagger fortress and spend their time currency to train, rest up, and build walls and a siege engine just before the horde of horsemen arrive in waves. Moomba's archer team and Ughhh's siege weaponry hold most of the enemy at bay though the few that make it do kill some of the defenders. At the end, General Wang Bang himself appears and eliminates an ambush squad who waited the whole time for him (coin sword is a coin toss) but an arrow finally puts down the general ending the threat. Ever Worthlessman is among the 17 allies that died in battle.

Eventually they are reinforced by Aeternian's reserves and return to their homes as heroes. For a time.

[Inspiration from Band of Blades]

More than Nothing: Crusaders

[Part of the Party Time journal]

Ughhh's direct approach to the rescue attempt leads to a brief melee which involves Jerghon G pole vaulting over Walram's guards to hold the Lord at sword point, but the skirmish is interupted by the arrival of of a massive army of crusaders led by Yuno Imzoro and his nephew, the famously best swordsman in Aeternia who wields the magical coin-sword - Ino Imzoro.

By decree of the new Papa Smorfonof (aka Papa Smurf) all Aeternians from the lowest slaves to highest lords must join the holy crusade against the worm worshipers of El Kanadar to the East. Lord Teck tries to talk his way out of it and by doing so is found guilty of heresy and put to the stake (he is impaled upon it and set alight). No one else questions the order after that and our teenage heroes and their friends join as camp followers, doing menial tasks of cooking and cleaning while also receiving basic training as the massive host easily makes ground into heretic lands.

Only upon reaching the natural bottleneck between Aeternia and El Kanadar, the foolishly abandoned stone ruins of Skydagger fortress in a narrow mountain pass, do they receive their crusader mantle and are sent to into missions, the first being an easy one where Ughhh critically succeeds in convincing a village converted into a field hospital to basically convert religion and aid them.

Their next task is liberating the mining town of Karel where Jerghon G and Raah-Min sneak upon the fortress past inattentive guards and jam their gate, letting the others easily free the enslaved miners in the work site outside and with bolstered numbers the fortress soldiers surrender on the spot.

Finally they reach El Kanadar's Capital of Rakash where they are hand picked by Yuno Imzoro to join him in a heroic charge - just the five of them against the full enemy line - to prove the might of Numero Uno. It doesn't go well as their horses are brought low by enemy archers mere meters away from the enemy infantry and leaving them very far from support. Yuno is hurt severely but Ughhh goes out of his way to defend the man while Moomba takes out the enemy worm caster leader. 

They manage to hold until Ino brings up the infantry who then win the day with heavy losses, a result he squarely blames the party on. As such he stations them and a small squad at the seemingly insignificant hamlet with of Hazelbrook while he continues  the crusade to the East, but that location will soon prove to be more than nothing. 

[Inspiration from Darklands and  Lost Eidolons]

More than Nothing: The Artorias Interlude

[Part of the Party Time journal]

Praetor Artorias' campaign at Caphtor ended in disaster. Of the five ships he sent, only nine people returned - four of whom were prisoners and soldiers of his rival Empress Palisa, and one a foreign violet knight named Dorza. While they were sent to be reconditioned to serve in his army, he questioned the remaining survivors about the events that led to this loss, including the great beam of light shooting up from the island and making it vanish as well as what transpired to turn the sun into a cold, dull blue color...

After being separated by a thick fog, Rowina, Yuriet, Waywocket and Dorza managed to regroup - collecting four bound and sleeping prisoners on a hilltop, but with no initial sign of the others they decided to make their way back to the beach head camp being established by Eagley and Lord Moroney. 

Meanwhile Il'bakstabyo alone, witnessed the growing sun gain a horrific looking face, a huge humanoid body and began to start eating everything in its path. As his sanity slipped away Il'bakstabyo then heard a strange song, and witnessed what looked to be Jerghonson with a golden clarinet battle the sun using his music, causing the sun to scream in a beam of light into the heavens until it shriveled up, turning blue and retreated back into the sky. 

The others found Il'bakstabyo sometime later crying and curled into a ball and took him with them back to the landing site where they discovered the camp being annihilated by a hydra. Rowina the acrobat had come across a magical coin-sword in the fog, and managed to use it to slay the beast but not before it killed everyone else in camp. Fleeing on a small craft they set out into the misty waters but upon looking back the island had simply vanished...

After sending the insane Il'bakstabyo out into the wilderness as he had no more use for him, Artorias took the coin-sword from Rowina and made her as well as the other two survivors, Yuriet and Waywocket, generals in his small army to take Aeterna's throne in Crown City. To make up their weak numbers, Waywocket suggested legitimizing and joining the oppressed Numerologist religion whose hordes of practitioners made up the vast majority in the city (the slaves and servant population, who numbered vastly more than nothing).

The ploy worked and the city defenders couldn't win a battle from forces outside and within, and Artorias took the throne... but soon the Numerologists elected their own leader: "The Dos" who alone could hear the voice of Numero Uno. Papa Petrus was the first Dos and it quickly became clear that Artorias could not hold onto power without the Papa's say so. Over the next few years the Papa's power and influence grew while that of Artorias waned into comical relief as his own troops and generals had no control over the fervorous Numeroligist believers.

Years later we find our new heroes, a band of Aeternian teens: Raah-min the Great Grand Daughter of Aah (Rose), Moomba the grand daughter of Mamita (Mom), Ughhh the Great Grand son of Ughh (Juris), and Jerghon G the grandson of Jerghonson the Great (DL) following their friend, Ever Worthlessman, through the forest to the small wooden fortress of Walram Teck to free their other teenage friends Lord Teck has taken a fancy to.

[Inspired by Constantine the Great] 

Luftrausers and Rival Stars Horse Racing

Games that start strong.

Luftrausers

In this beautiful artistic sepia arcade bullet hell shooter, you fly your plane on a 2D plane to blast enemy air and sea craft to smithereens while also trying to evade their fire ALL to some super epic music which really gets the blood pumping. This is very much an achievement based game, as getting those goals unlocks more plane parts that give more goals - and despite the seemingly simplistic three part modular plane chassis,  you can get a ton of variety from the bits available. Very cool, but even with the epic handling and music the gameplay loop gets repetitive a few hours in. Still one of the better bullet hell things I've played for a while.

Rival Stars Horse Racing

After inheriting a run down homestead it's up to you to restore it and regain its status by winning horse races! This super chillaxing game has two main sections - the racing and the upgrading bit. Racing is simpler so we'll start there: with minimalistic controls of left, right and sprint you really are at the mercy of your horses stats as an untrained one will simply have no chance on the harder tracks. Sprint is interesting in how it recharges: your horse has a preferred position and to regain sprint power faster you need to stay in that position - which can be a tricky proposition!

Upgrading the homestead simply requires resources you win or buy from gold (and also costs gold on top) which can let you keep more horses, foal more horses (breed champions bro), and improve training facilities to let you improve your animals even more. The part I don't like is that participating in races costs money, and if you are out of it you need to wait for your timed income to drop. Yep, its the "waiting to have fun" section of the game and that's what kills it for me. A simple fix is letting you race for free but alas, that was a lost opportunity. Otherwise, a pretty decent game for city bound horse lovers. You can even do free rides around your ranch just for fun.

Project First Contact and Targeted 10 Days

Games that are too simple?

Project First Contact

This feels like someone's early attempt at making a first person horror game, and with the vague explanation of an "alien invasion" you will be running down what is usually a single on the rails path to avoid some really bizarre enemies like cop clothes, floating heads, and burning corpses slithering on the ground? Then you get to the underground level and it becomes even more strange. Not recommended.

Targeted 10 Days

In this small game you must survive for 10 days until you can give evidence against a mafia don and the whole loop each day is going to the parking garage, looking to see if there's something out of place that could kill you, and then deciding if you are getting in your car or back in the elevator. If there's a trap, the elevator guarantees safety. If there's no trap, the elevator guarantees death. It's annoying at the start without knowing what to look for, but at least a map on the elevator shows where the last thing that killed you was hiding so you know to check there in the future. 

While the well hidden traps are annoying, it does make the super obvious traps very funny (like your car is COVERED in dynamite. LOL). And if you get too good at that you can switch it to anomaly mode which puts it very much into a Halloween style ghosts and goblins mode. It's polished enough to be a fun diversion for a few hours.