Elden Ring: Are you ready?

[Part of my Elden Ring journal]

One more return trip to the previously flooded church district lets me find an elevator I turned my back on the first time I came through and subsequently forgot about. Turns out this is very important since it leads right to a giant rotten sunflower boss that actually respawns twice during the fight! It takes a few goes to realize the holy club and range are no good here - indeed the sunflower excels at range, so I need to get in there with the great dragon hunting katana to chop it up and when I finally manage to do so it drops Miquella's great rune - the item I can use to counter that two-hit instakill!

Now I'm all set, I return to Radahn wielding the antspur rapier (he's weak to scarlet rot) and decked out in Moore's heavy armor and tower shield with the +3 Crimson Medal (max bonus HP), +3 Viridian Medal (max bonus stam), Two-Headed Turtle Talisman (stam recovery boost), and Kindred of Rot's Exultation (bonus damage when near scarlet rot). Turns out to be a simple matter of blocking and stabbing to absolutely cane him, which is great because it actually took me around 30+ attempts before trying this combination lol.

Finally stabbed him to death!

Thollier does not survive the confrontation but neither do Radahn and Miquella, while Sir Ansbach dies from his grave injuries afterwards. Thumbs up Elden Ring, everyone died! Though I think I died the most? :P That concludes the adventures here once more. Unless there's another DLC that comes out... Oh look, what's Night Reign? :P

Elden Ring: Seek map

[Part of my Elden Ring journal]

After numerous failed attempts I can get Radahn to phase two consistently, but don't have enough stam to block or dodge to survive beyond that. There's also the small matter of Miquella's two hit insta-kill in phase two that I don't have a counter for, so I opt to go off to train and finish the map first, starting by hopping into a coffin and the base of the drained church district of Shadow Keep to ride it down a waterfall (fitting since Radahn kept killing me anyway).

Well that's different...

Down there I slay a Rakshasa, an entire fly man village, two more hippos and find the Darklight catacombs which is slightly annoying in that its pitch black, but at least there are light switches to turn on the torches and a really nice Viridian Amber Medallion +3 to help with my stamina issue. After beating a shady inquisitor at the bottom the path continues to the Abyssal Woods, which is so scary that the horse cannot be summoned. This is because the whole area is a stealth section as there are a few enemies that can't actually be hit. Crouch walking and tall grass are you friends!

There's a big, well designed mansion down here (with looping shortcuts) with a madness theme and a pretty simple boss who is holy club spammed which is the same solution for the Maddening Hand invader who is great in close quarters but not so much if you can ping him off at a distance. With the woods mapped I only have one more missing segment in the top left, an annoying one to find since it requires going through a tunnel behind a lake some distance away from the spot but there's not much to report down there that I haven't already run into. More spider scorpions, bears, another death knight etc.

Elden Ring: Praise the holy!

[Part of my Elden Ring journal]

With that handy side quest done I'm back to Shadow Keep to exit via the West gate, when I finally figure out that its the little side door to use instead of the usual giant one. This path leads through a Bloodfiend tribe to a powerful hammer knight who I can only defeat using holy club magic missile spam, followed by a bridge that needs crossing in time with the giant fire effigy's flame vortex cool down and into some massive ruins that are home to both giant spider scorpions up stairs, fly men down stairs, more bird assassins and freaking insect people in plagued scarlet rot caves that really suck (I dash past these mounted).

Good thing I had left over Scarlet Rot cures and remembered to use them!

Annoyingly Hornsent invades at the exit of that plague section and I have to put down my ex-ally, right before facing the area boss who is a half lady, half winged centipede creature that also spreads scarlet rot. Luckily I down her on my first attempt with the help of Dryleaf Dane. Setting a tree behind her on fire removes the shadow seal from that tower near the start, and I find myself teleported to it to slay cultists and fly folk within while trying to dodge the stronger ogre mages. That first one blocking the stairs is a doozy and again needs holy club magic missile spam!

The fight up continues past another lion dancer to a chamber where Needle Knight Leda blocks the path with her allies Moore and Dryleaf Dane, but they are no match for me and my allies - Thollier and Sir Ansbach! With Miqella's last line of defense gone all that's left is for the three of us to get up to the highest boss door and... find Miqella has one more guardian on his side: Radahn!?

Elden Ring: Monstrosity!

[Part of my Elden Ring journal]

There's a strange side quest for all these giant hands in this DLC. At a Cathedral near the Shadow Keep I found Count Ymir and his female bodyguard Jolan (who looks like fem-Sauron) and the guy is looking for help in ringing the great finger bells in the region and gives maps to them one by one. Without fail they are in remote places with giant finger type stones poking out of the ground and guarded by those damned giant hands that crawl around. I can handle the small to medium ones now but the huge ones with magic rings always cause me trouble.

Anyway, these bells are also finger shaped and are rung by blowing into it (yes thank you Elden Ring for making players blow fingers), and each time the Ymir rejoices at the accomplishment while he getting even creepier by playing nursemaid to a smaller hand creature. The third and final map he gives is in a location of the Cathedral itself and you need to wait for him to get off his throne to access the underground chamber below. There, after fighting more hands and Invader Anna (who I assume is Jolan's sister given the same armor) and ringing the bell is the horrible boss: Metyr, Mother of Fingers.

It has enough fingers to perform hand seals like a Narutard!

Seriously. WTF. Still took it down in my first attempt by staying on its front or back since the side "hands" are very dangerous, but upon returning upstairs both Ymir and Jolan are upset at this turn of events and attack!? Dude, you gave me a map to the damn place! Anyway, Jolan is the more dangerous of the pair but is weak to the great dragon hunting katana's special move while Ymir is just another pew pew caster with a short range teleport and the occasional summoned hand. So the reward for doing his job is killing everyone. Nice.

Elden Ring: Time for snake

[Part of my Elden Ring journal]

Leaving Thollier in the garden, the time has come to take on the Shadow Keep which includes dodging another giant fire effigy and slaying numerous black knights. Hornsent and Freyja aid against the courtyard guardian, a golden hippopotamus that eats the hapless Freyja before Hornsent finishes it off allowing me to enter the really tall tower that serves as a research station full of inscribed stone tablets and hanging giant corpses. Among the many enemies and flame knights (not so scary since they have little poise/are easy to stagger) I assist Sir Ansbach in doing some research on Miqella and assist Hornsent in fighting off Leda who is coming to kill him!

She escapes the battle but Hornsent is grateful enough to assist in fighting Messmer, the snake and spear wielding boss of this keep. It takes me three tries to get him down then I back track to the Keep's flooded church district (jumping puzzle time) and unflood it via a handy lever? Why would that not just be open all the time? Big monsters wait in the muddy bottom there whom I skip for now, and instead find the back door where the boar riding Commander Gaius awaits! He's another tough fight until I realize all I have to do is roll INTO his attacks.

Yes, roll into the giant armored boar.

While its a dead end beyond, there are a whole bunch of Scadutree fragments to collect which are a new thing that provide bonuses to people in the shadow realm. A separate path leads to a pair of mounted Tree Sentinels who I now classify as weak, followed by some worthless snake aliens and another falling star beast which poses no threat what so ever. Beyond the next camp is true horror though... as there flocks of giant hands crawling around! YUCK!!!

Elden Ring: Don't you dare!

[Part of my Elden Ring journal]

After that dragon slaying adventure there is a strange chime and a warning that "somewhere a great rune has broken" as I'm exploring the small village and gaol of Bonny which prompts me to check how Leda and her team are doing. Apparently Miqella is a great charmer, and with that magic gone only Leda remains faithful to him... and possibly Dryleaf Dane because that guy just doesn't talk! Freyja decides to do her own thing, Hornsent is angry, Moore is sad, Sir Ansbach is fearful, and Thollier remembers he has a hard on for St. Trina, remembering that Moore mentioned something about her flowers located on an isle to the South.

I'm always up for a good love story (but this is Elden Ring so... I expect lots of death) so I head to said place and find a deep hole near those flowers the guys were talking about and find a deep cave with Bloodletters, ghost beastmen, skeletal warriors whose bones you need to smash after they die otherwise they get back up again, and a really odd campsite of animals all sleeping in worship...? The mounted boss here is a tough one: the Putrescent Knight. He and his horse can combo for days while moving out of range so its back to the holy club for this fight, where I spam the magic "bullet" attack to win.

It happens so much that it loses the weight usually attached to it.

This turns out to be St. Trina's garden and she herself is here... a plant lady oozing with tempting(?) nectar. Drinking it causes death but hey, there's a respawn point nearby anyway so I drink so much that she starts talking to me, saying Miqella has to be stopped from becoming trapped as a god. Thollier shows up and is upset I'm drinking his lady's juices so there's a brief skirmish and he is indeed very weak, but after explaining that I'm only doing that as a means of communication we're good again and it's his turn to nurse at the flower's teat? Thanks Elden Ring, you make me type up the strangest stuff. :P

Elden Ring: Dragon ahead

[Part of my Elden Ring journal]

Returning to the back exit of Ancient Dragon-Man's hole (yeah, that sounded bad), I find a bunch of ghostflame dragons to slay and an injured dragon hunter named Igon who wants vengeance upon someone called Bayle. I soon learn from a nearby dragon priestess who has setup up shop beside the corpse of a gigantic dragon, that Bayle is the forefather of ancient dragons and lives atop the stormy mountain I'm climbing. She also wants him dead and gives me a blessing from her lord Plasidusax (who I've also killed).

I get side tracked a little with the gorgeous scenery and end up fighting a demi-human queen (lure and kill), a giant death rite bird (weak to holy club) and then fall in the Lamenter's gaol (easy fight as the idiot relies on mirror images to make up for his lack of HP) before finally making my way up the scary mountain where I encounter the ancient lightning dragon Senessax who is ridiculously strong but I can run past, followed by Bayle the Dread himself at the mountain summit who has no problems smashing me into paste.

So much fire!

Alas, it is finally time to switch from the great club to... Ancient Dragon-Man's dragon-hunter's great katana! This thing is amazing, and with my mimic and Igon's archery Bayle is taken down - but he manages to finish off Igon. Senessax turns out to be a more challenging fight because he's sitting in a lake which conducts his electricity so there's a lot of horseback jumping involved over numerous attempts before the ancient dragon is defeated. I may have also accidentally killed the Dragon Priestess by giving her a drink bottle from Thollier... oops?

Elden Ring: Try looking away

[Part of my Elden Ring journal]

Unlike the slow stone smiths there are occasionally these spry birdmen assassins that jump out and do capoeira at me, and after beating the third or so (they are paper DPSsers), I meet the final member of Leda's team: a weak and soft spoken chemist named Thollier who sells poisons. On the cliffside path beyond Ancient Dragon-Man invades (and is promptly slain lol). Seriously? "Ancient Dragon-Man"? Could have been worse I suppose. Still remember that guy from Knight Online named "Warm Dragon Piss". 

The mimic tear still rocks!

A dungeon beyond him that features his return as the boss (LOL) opens a path to some jagged mountains but I opt to go another way first to Castle Ensis, guarded by an armored giant! But these are like the ones I've killed before so he's no problem, and neither are the soldiers and casters I sneak up upon. The Carian Knight Moonrithyll IS a problem though as she is super aggressive so I have a fun time running away from her until I reach the next camp site... then I go back and kill her. Fights go very differently if I can open with a sneak attack!

The actual boss of the castle is a dual sword wielder of no importance because she has absolutely no chance against me and Needle Knight Leda, and beating her opens up the next zone... with an even bigger castle in the distance. LOL. I take a detour first to try get a map fragment but fail since it is not in the valley I thought it was and instead end up facing off against a death knight in his crypt. Too bad for him he's weak to my holy great club. No idea why the club is holy, it just is. I'm now level 165.

Elden Ring: Be wary of laggardly sort

[Part of my Elden Ring journal]

At the Belurat Tower Settlement I meet some insectoid foes namely the fly men who have a really annoying grab attack, and the terrifying but actually easy to slay scorpion spiders, because regular scorpions and spiders aren't bad enough! The shady villagers are also keen ambushers but thanks to all the signs left by other tarnisheds I basically have a heads up for any and all ambushes en route to the top of the place where I meet the big boss of the area: a lion dancer? WTF? Anyway, Freyja and I put an end to him easily but the next tower up is sealed by "shadow" so that's the cue to head off and explore again.

Below the settlement is the gaol full of Jar men and folks in various stages of Jar-manism. It isn't pretty. For some reason the boss down here is an agile goblin who is easily slain, just like the ghostflame dragon at the lake outside. I also locate what seems to be a wolf cave but at the lowest level is an entire church of Bloodfiends! This is where I learn the value of a bow (I just use the pulley bow) to annoy one of them at a time to lure and kill which is a super handy strategy since many things fall for it!

After slaying their chieftain boss I locate an ancient forge, being fought over by soldiers and Bloodfiends, that is home to easily smashed lava eles and super tough but also incredibly slow stone smiths. These forge dungeons are really cool as there's no boss in them, just a set of puzzles (and dodging the smiths) to get to the "final forge" to retrieve high level crafting stuff. Less fighting, more thumbs up!

It's faster just to side step these lumbering golem smiths.

Elden Ring: Here again...

[Part of my Elden Ring journal]

Just when I thought I was done with Elden Ring, Juris gifts me the DLC: Shadow of the Erdtree. So now I'm back and quickly recruited by Needle Knight Leda to venture to the Realm of Shadow to find their lord, Miquella. This realm of Shadow is quite pleasant at first. Lush fields with ordinary shadow peasant folk and their shadow dog pets whom I murder as well as giant stone birds that come to life when you get too close to whatever grave they are guarding. They're also no match for my great club.

It's a magical place...

It's when I find the tomb of some ghost knight with a huge sword and repeating crossbow that I start getting my ass kicked because I've forgotten how to play. Dodge? Block? Counter? Stam runs out!? What!? "You have died" (a lot). But slowly it comes back to me: with the club, aggression is king and if I ignore any and all semblance of intellect and just rush forward and jump smash, that's how I win. Easily. Because club: smash! Also super effective on the stone birds!

Soon after I meet more of Leda's team: Redmane Freyja, a soldier of Radahn (who I helped kill). Hornsent, a bandaged samurai. Sir Ansbach, former servant of Mogh (who I killed). Dryleaf Dane, a silent monk and Moore, a heavily armored but simpleton knight who likes collecting and selling stuff. Nearby are more denizens of the place, spiritual ogres who I later learn are called "Bloodfiends" and lightning goats who I always run away from! I also always avoid the giant burning men because... what sane person would want to fight that? my club doesn't hurt it enough and it has good AoE. :P

Kung Fu Panda 4 and Borderlands (2024)

Accepting change.

Kung Fu Panda 4

Continuing on from the previous movie, Poh (voiced Jack Black) faces his next task of choosing a successor - something he doesn't want at all because it would mean no longer being "the Dragon Warrior". Of course these movies are really all about accepting change, and his adventure this time has side-lined the other high paid voice actors defenders "the Furious Five" off on single sentence hand waved missions (which is a good idea). Funny and entertaining but only watch it after Kung Fu Panda 3.   

Borderlands

When bounty hunter Lilith (Cate Blanchett) is sent to track down a fugitive on her home planet of Pandora, she learns a few things about herself. Oh, and kills a LOT of people in ther process! As regular readers might know, I've played a lot of the Borderlands game series from which this movie is based of. My advice if you are like me: put everything you know about the games and the meta in a box, set the box aside (and maybe air step over it) when you go watch this as it will be more enjoyable as a clean slate than if you have expectations.

I did that, and I was not disappointed. Sure, it's not as gory-violent as the games but its still very entertaining in a PG-13 way. Claptrap (voiced by Jack Black) is actually funny and not as annoying as his game counterpart, and there's just some ridiculous fun in the chase and action sequences that kept us glued to the screen. My wife, who has never played Borderlands, absolutely loved the show and wished it was a series so that there would be more. While I might not have loved it as much as she, I'm in agreement as it wasn't bad at all.

Golden Kamuy (2024) and Reality Z

Changing up the format.

Golden Kamuy

Set in the late Meiji period in Japan, this live action movie focuses on an "immortal" soldier who apparently still needs money and stumbles upon a crazy treasure hunt involving map pieces having been tattooed onto people. There are some really nice action sequences here (though it's hard to feel worried for the immortal guy) as well as loads of world building and... bears? Yeah. Lots of bears. Anyway, I didn't realize this was based on a manga and worse: it simply ends with a ton of plot threads hanging because it wants a continuation. Sure there was an action / many action bits at the end but... none of them felt like a climax. All up this movie just introduces people and sets up the world. Don't bother watching it until there's a Golden Kamuy 2 (and possibly 3-5 at the rate its going).

Reality Z

In this one season show it's time for another zombie outbreak, this time in Brazil - with a strong focus on their version of a "Big Brother" reality TV house and production studio. Yep, there's jump scares (often happen after long boring shots of people walking slowly down an empty corridor), gore and people making idiotic decisions as per standard fare but this series has a super odd format, and is probably a lesson for me on why some people should always have plot armor. If I was to recommend a cut down version of the show (like I did for Helluva Boss) I'd say just start from episode 6. That said, I don't actually recommend watching it as it goes nowhere.

Mortal Kombat Legends: Scorpion's Revenge and Battle of the Realms

"FIGHT!"

Scorpion's Revenge

This ultra violent animated martial arts film is based on the Mortal Kombat game franchise and somehow fits in a ton of characters, a decent story that has a decent script and character growth along side great and bloody action sequences which is a surprise coming from the Warner Brothers Animation studio. Highly entertaining an excellent film to occupy you for 80 minutes even if you know nothing of Mortal Kombat. Recommended!

Battle of the Realms

This sequel film continues with the ultra violent animation but loses a bit of ground in the plot department as there are a few things happening at the same time, which tries to mash together the tournament, a side quest involving robot ninjas, demons and a kaiju style fight for the finale. Yeah, they did this to include even more named characters but the result is the story isn't as tight - and as ridiculous as some of the Mortal Kombat stuff is to begin with, there are bits here that are really hilarious like: jumping off to certain death counting on a random gust of air to save you and "oh, this magic door needs a key to open so lets spend the whole movie getting the key to get in. How to get out? Easy, just shoot a hole in the ceiling and fly out! So... why didn't we do that to get in? ..."

Still, if you enjoyed the first one you'll most likely enjoy this not quite as good sequel. Still recommended. :)

Pathfinder: Lamatar

[Part of the Party Time journal]  

The first two Kreeg guards at their cavernous mountain top fortress manage to KO Ezren, but are put down soon after by the rest of the team so for the next two guards who also have a hill giant assisting them, Ezren doesn't hesitate to hit them with ice storm which really messes them up. In the nearby mining and forge chamber with a dozne more ogres, Ezren and Kyra annihilate almost all of them with fireballs while Razmus helps(?) my throwing boulders but missing each time!

The next chamber has a trio of hags that manage to force cage Kyra and Ezren while also blocking Razmus and Shay, but are taken down by Valeros, Kyra's summoned bear, and Merisiel's ultra deadly backstabbing. Then the team finally comes across the remains of Black Arrow Captain Lamatar who is now a frost wight and absolutely the scariest foe they have faced so far. He's very fast, shoots three times and every time he hits drains a level! WTF!? As the team is only level 9 and reaching level 0 is death, they throw everything they have against this guy and finally succeed but only end with Ezren and Shay not being level drained.

Low on spells the team then rests at the entrance of the fortress just long enough to get spells back and heal but not recover lost levels before a returning patrol of ogres interrupts them, though Stolas gives early warning for the heroes to strike first. Ezren opens with cloud kill which basically ends the majority of the enemies, and once that's wrapped up the crew decide to press on to a huge throne room with two giants: a throne sitting necromancer and his guard.

Merisiel's giant-slaying bow and Razmus' hammer efficiently deal with the nameless guard while the necromancer hits the team with fireballs and magic missiles. Comedically Razmus finally lands a hit with a thrown boulder but the necromancer catches it and throws it back, smacking him in the face! Ultimately the bad guy, who was more of an HP sponge rather than a threat like Lamatar, is slain.

A note in his treasure pile suggests he too answered to someone else, but first the team return Lamatar's finger (as requested) to the undead nymph who revives him, restores everyone's missing levels, then fades away to the spirit realm making the forest a normal one again. Lamatar is unable to get over his failure and instead of returning to Fort Rannick decides to become the new protector of these woods.

Pathfinder: The Best Type of Friend

[Part of the Party Time journal]  

With the situation at the dam resolved, Eye Patch, Kibb and Shay return to Fort Rannick while the main party reports in back at Turtleback Ferry - passing by a wagon of criminals being sent there as new recruits, one of whom is Orik who apparently has the worst luck but Valeros is certain the Black Arrows will be happy to have him.

Back in town the team experiences some hag induced nightmares and are further interrupted by a little fairy guy who asks for help for his angry mistress. He leads the way to some evil twisted forest where they make quick work of tree blight enemies before finding said mistress, a now undead nymph who was once the main squeeze of the Black Arrow Captain Lamatar, and reduce her anger down to sadness by agreeing to find what's left of him up at the Kreeg fortress in the mountains.
 
Having heard tales of giants being active in that region, the team decides to make a detour to Claybottom lake to retrieve a giant-slaying bow of one Robin Cloakley, who went down with the gambling / pleasure barge everyone at Turtleback Ferry talks about. Ezren stays on the boat while Kyra, Merisiel and Valeros dive down using water breathing magic and collect the magic bow which involves Valeros being temporarily swallowed by a giant fish!

Now headed back up the mountain (again? seriously?) and passing Fort Rannick the Black Arrows are eager to join in to take the fight to the Kreegs but the team decides to only bring Shay (because more people = longer combat). As they continue the ascent they find an badly injured hill giant surrounded by the corpses of wyverns. Not wanting to fight an enemy who isn't at full strength, Valeros heals him up with potions and discovers this giant, Razmus, isn't a bad guy at all!

The big guy has claimed this section of the mountain for himself and is unhappy with recent competition that's moved in so he is more than willing to not only lead the team up the mountain to the Kreeg fortress (bypassing extra encounters), he is also willing to help smash them! Isn't that the best type of friend?

Shadow and Bone

This two season young adult fantasy show follows assistant cartographer Alina Starkov (played by Jessie Mei Li) as she joins an expedition through the Fold - a dangerous, dark place with demons - only to discover that she's "the chosen one" in this setting. Life for her changes quickly as her status is elevated immediately, being prized by friends and foes alike.

The B plot usually focuses on one such outfit, a small criminal gang, hired to kidnap her and strangely enough their stories are usually more compelling than her own. Very good world building here and there's usually a decent amount of action per episode. I would have liked a season three but it does wrap up well enough for its two season tenure.

Kardboard Kings and Outliver Tribulation

I did not last long in these.

Kardboard Kings

This shop attendant simulator sees you managing a playing card shop of all things, where everything is on a timer. It doesn't matter if you're listening to the tutorial cockatoo or trying to buy more product to sell on one of your very few spaces, if its opening time there'll be customers. With its odd art style and game loop of basically "managing fires" all the time I really didn't get into this one.

Outliver: Tribulation

In this horror game you play as a capable female soldier trapped in an otherworldly maze of trials with a distinctive African theme and somehow is both cool and very amateurish at the same time. For instance, the voice acting is poor and the maze is designed to force a lot of back tracking so that as you find or earn colored circles, you can unlock doorways to find more colored circles.

On the flip side when the lights go out and you start hearing footsteps chasing after you, that really gets your heart pumping. Especially since the enemy mooks pretty much cheat and teleport via lightning strike near you if you get too far. Then boss fights are ho hum (at least the first two I reached) but there's some major rendering issues with some graphics cards like the one I'm using that makes you lag. Yeah, in a single player game. Might still be worth a try if you can grab it for free.

Citadel: Diana

This spin-off from Citadel continues the world wide spy game and is set in Italy with titular character Diana (Matilda de Angelis) as the protagonist, who is employed by Citadel's rival group Manticore! While her unique hair-do grew on us during the six episode season, its funny that a spy would want to stand out.

Short one side, long on the other.

Despite that there is actually an OK story in here with alright acting and action, though Diana loses and needs to be saved a lot for a protagonist. Worth a watch especially if you enjoyed the original Citadel and we'll definitely watch a season two if it comes about...

Empyrion - Galactic Survival

Scavenging everything to make everything!

Do you like things that are complicated? Was Bear and Breakfast too simple? If so then by golly this first person survival game for you. Just from the tutorial mission where you begin on a space ship to get your bearings on how food, medicine and anti radiation showers work which are then followed by short space walks to mine an asteroid followed by the ship blowing up so you have to claim ownership of the ship to use the teleporter which puts you on a remote planet where you can kill wildlife for food and disassemble pretty much everything, claim and build buildings and manufacture hover bikes for 5 stones while working towards creating another spaceship with warp capabilities... WTF? Information overload.

But on the flip side, you can do all that stuff. And you can do it cooperatively if you have a server to play on. Gameplay wise (excluding the crafting bit) it reminds me a lot of Project Entropia: beautiful environments and structures coupled with odd looking people and insects. Not one for me but I'm sure this would fill the building/survival itch for someone.

Bear and Breakfast

Scavenging trash to make things.

This quirky game has you play as a bear who gets roped into setting up bed and breakfast motels in the forest for humans. You'll understandably start with nothing and must go foraging through the woods for conveniently appearing stacks of timber and literal garbage that you can repurpose to turn into beds and furniture for your guests, who conveniently litter some more. Smaller junk "treasures" can be traded to the local racoon for more things or blueprints of things to improve your hotel.

While the exploration part is fine (though I wish there was a way to speed up conversations) the managing of guests and having to actually make rooms, doors and the works with the particular view provided isn't great. The game also has a hard time starting up for some reason, so now I've just discarded it. Maybe a happy bear can make use and recycle it into a toilet or something (yes you need to build those too). If you just want a game where you can play as a bear, Lumbearjack beats this easily.

Uprising (2024)

Expect lots of sword clashes!

Set in the historical Joseon Dynasty in Korea, a cruel, duplicitous and cowardly king who, with the other nobles, flees from Japanese samurai invaders is shocked when his slaves and the lower castes dislike him. One such slave happens to be a master swordsman who befriended and trained one of the nobles from childhood and, despite both sides trying to bridge the class divide, now find themselves well and truly on opposing sides.

While the plot is alright the pacing with the flash backs and time skips felt off, but hey there's a lot of killing and good sword choreography going on here which might give it a pass for sword fighting enthusiasts. Not as good as I thought it would be though.

Sword and Sorcery: Immortal Souls

Slay many bad guys and make a few choices.

In this fantasy dungeon basher up to four players take the roles of long dead heroes who have been revived to stop a threat that, at least initially, involves gremlins, bandits and orcs? Guess the general populace got really weak and overweight or something. The campaign has seven quests of which one is optional / will be skipped based on choices and each mission takes a bit of setup time, getting all the cards and the map tiles and what goes on them ready.

After that, its all the good guys do things then all the bad guys might do things and then time ticks on. The time thing is driven by an event deck which determines what spawns where and any thing extra that happens while also serving as a time limit, and combat is done with customized dice for the game with some interesting rules like, holding majority on the tile is instantly and extra hit, focusing an attack is an extra hit, and knockout/knockdown is freaking amazing.

Bad guys only activate if the encounter card says so, which is good because otherwise you will get wiped out easy especially early on but does have the odd effect of some guys just standing around doing nothing sometimes and most of your gold will be spent "sharpening" your gear per mission so that you can still use the better "polished" side of the item card instead of the not so great basic side.

Leveling up is done through spending souls (of enemies you've killed) and getting killed makes you lose levels and turn into a ghost who needs to wander back to a shrine to respawn basically. There's a bit of a learning curve to it but overall I think its better than the D&D adventure system games where the bad guys ALWAYS get the drop on you and you are usually rushing to just flip tiles (but its a faster setup). Here you can rush if you want, or tactically clear the map. Thumbs up!

The Marksman and Officer Black Belt

Dealing with criminals in their own way.

The Marksman

A veteran soldier and failing farmer (played by Liam Neeson) at the Mexican border comes across a mother and son illegally crossing the fence as they are pursued by a Mexican cartel who want them back. Our protagonist is torn between deporting them or helping them, and annoyingly this continues throughout the majority of the movie. Being on the fence so much is not a great quality, and with excess scenes and low on screen body count it doesn't really make for a great movie. Skip.

Officer Black Belt

A natural athlete and martial artist (played by Kim Woo-bin) is recruited into the South Korean probation officer task force where they must monitor and handle aggressive probation violators with non-lethal close quarter combat. It is a decent action comedy, with decidedly more action than comedy (especially with the bad guys, as they are freaking dark), and a pretty good story which only gets sloppy at the end. Better that I thought it would be. Recommended!

The Spirit and the Mouse

Just trying to help.

In this cute single player game you are a little mouse who is trying to subtly help the people in a small village with their various problems, and an accident early on gives you magical powers to really do so. Its a 3d puzzle platformer at heart, but with a focus on exploration and collection backed by a pretty cool sound track. It's pretty light hearted to the point that I  don't think you can actually die. I'm just not a fan of their "spirit" depictions, but otherwise its a cute, relaxing game.

Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss

Cartoons in Hell!

Hazbin Hotel (Season 1)

This violent animated musical about Lucifer's daughter trying to setup a hotel to redeem souls in hell is full of swearing and adult themes but also has some good musical numbers. As Juris pointed out, the best part about each song is that they actually advance the story in some way and the animation, while definitely on the cartoony side, is quite decent. Definitely NOT for kids and you'll need to watch the pilot episode on youtube but it still gets a thumbs up from me. Looking forward to season two!

Helluva Boss (2 Seasons so far)

Set in the same universe/hell as Hazbin Hotel this show (fully available on youtube) focuses on a corporation of lowly imps who act as assassins for hire. At least, that's what the first season hook is and when they get into fights it is gloriously bloody with smooth animation.

It also has musical numbers but less plot advance-y as Hazbin, and the focus switches to the characters early on, sometimes to characters not even in the main group, which kinda fizzles the interest for me. While this and Hazbin both fly the pride flag with very few straight characters, it's more in your face here because apparently that is where the main story lies (and not in the murdering business. Sad face). Still ok, and Stolas is a scene stealer, but Hazbin is better with its more solid plot (currently).

Lastly, because the focus for Helluva Boss is on the personal relationships and not a "plot" per se I think its main problem is the pacing, as suddenly all the other episodes are basically "filler". Cut out the excess and it will make the whole thing better. Currently I suggest: Pilot / (S1E6) Truth Seekers / (S2E4) Western Energy / (S2E8) The Full Moon. (S2 hasn't finished yet as of this post but I think S2E9 is also filler).

The Walking Dead: The Ones who Live

The return of Rick Grimes!

It's not just Daryl, Carol, Maggie and Negan getting their own shows post the completion of the original zombie show. This six episode series follows up on Michonne's quest (played by Danai Gurira) to find the long missing main character Rick Grimes (Andrew Lincoln) and what happened to them during the years they were missing.

The answer is a lot, and they somewhat wreck both characters with all the drama and somehow manage to squeeze in a useless bottle episode but hey, at least everything is resolved in this contained one season series. The zombies are almost an after thought but they are hideously cool as always. Only recommended for Walking Dead fans.

Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom

All about saving the environment and getting gross things in your mouth.

Continuing from his first film, Aquaman (played by Jason Momoa) is back and quite bored of his job while also being domesticated. Luckily for him (and the viewers) bad guys begin a plot to end the world using... global warming? Sure whatever.

Alas this film is a bit of a step down from the last one, with some really odd plot decisions that waste screen time. We don't need to be told the bad guys plans three times, all the shots of the bad guy doing stuff that doesn't interact directly with Aquaman can be cut out and everything before the first "vault raid" can be removed.

Then you have bad guys basing their operations on land... in a volcano that is spouting green fumes... and no one can find them? This is the same world where Superman is right? Said bad guys are also patrolling the volcano base in old style metal diving suits because... its comfortable like that? Not recommended.

Fast Foursome

Four Epic games that didn't manage to hold my attention for very long.

Wild Card Football

This is all about American Football (not soccer) and presents well with some nice music and cool cartoony but stylized characters (because its football with super powers!), and obviously was designed with head to head play in mind. The downsides for me are that there are a LOT of controls. It doesn't help that I don't really know football either.

Super Crazy Rhythm Castle

This party game (for up to four) is basically guitar hero with side tasks to annoy you while you do it. Some cool songs in here though but man is the villain really annoying in that he talks way too much. Probably a better experience if not solo. :P

TOEM

A very relaxed black and white game about casually wandering around and taking photos of things to earn enough stamps to buy a train ticket on to the next zone to do it all again. There is some humor in the odd ball characters that give you your tasks but some of the targets are quite annoying to find.

Rugrats

Easily the worst of this set that seems to be relying on the nostalgia factor from the TV show. Yes you get to play as the titular rugrats to collect... things through very simple levels. The silly theme and lack of tutorial doesn't do it any favors.

Callisto Protocol

Locked in with the monsters!

This single player sci-fi survival horror sees you imprisoned on what turns out to be the worst planet to be incarcerated as soon after the facility is overrun by humanoid monsters who are out to make you die in very violent and gory ways. It's especially cool since the graphics are really detailed! The voice actors and story are decent too!

While this is very reminiscent of Dead Space complete with an LED health tracker on your back (just ... why?) its not so much horror apart from the gore and jump scares for one simple reason: outside of a few set instances that you can sneak and stealth kill, you will be forced to hand to hand these things A LOT and win (or die in very specific and detailed ways).

Combat is pretty simple too, and these things drop currency that you need to create or upgrade tools, weapons and ammo so... the "horror" part really leaves the building when you are intentionally hunting the monsters down for loot. It's still a fun ride though and one I can recommend.

Hunted (Australia TV Series)

It's a big game of hide and seek!

This currently three season reality contest sees around 10 contestant pairs act as criminals on the run, with each pair getting a discrete camera operator on their team as they try elude capture for about 20 days at which point they need to extract to win a share of the prize money (which they may or may not be carrying on them, depending on the season).

There are other limits imposed on the contestants, like they can't leave the state during "the game", they have to move every x number of days, they can't load up with loads of cash pre run and so on.

Meanwhile the Hunter force is made up of four two man ground units (+camera man) and an office of techies, ex-cops and ex-soldiers who use everything in their cheat mode level power to track down and tag the crooks to get them out of the game. It's actually really cool to see the numerous tools they have at their disposal.

Yes it's heavily edited, but its in that that makes the episodes exciting. So exciting that we ended up binge watching every available episode! While it might not be to everyone's tastes, I definitely enjoyed this one (the Australian series anyway. Other countries also have Hunted)!

Back 4 Blood

How to take a good idea and then make it garbage.

This four person coop first person zombie horde shooter tries to emulate Left 4 Dead and sort of does it... until they put all of their own (mostly bad) ideas over the top of it as well. Lets start of with the good bits: good choice of characters (even though some are innately "better" with their passives than others), good reusing of maps to fit the story, and good range of "special infected" - especially the big ones.

Onto the bits we didn't like: the graphic for one special critter might be slightly altered to mean its a different special critter. A spidery spitting thing might sometimes shoot fireballs and other times shoot a slow moving swarm of bugs. A big armed thing might just use it as a club (which means you need to shoot its arm) or use the big arm to grab people (which means you need to shoot its head).

These minor differences are spelled out in the oh so stupid "card system". Each character can assemble a deck of 15 cards to build their guy up. More stamina, more damage with shotguns, whatever. You can buy these cards as you find them at random while playing levels, using currency you also have to find. Grind inserted!

The enemy deck shows what special creep you will run into as well as how fast the regular mobs will moving but there are times where it just puts absolute BS cards on like "hunger" (you are all hungry and are constantly losing health) and the like where it forces you to play fast and loose. This removal of player agency in deciding if they want to move fast or slowly and strategically is ABSOLUTELY STUPID.

The only worse design decision beyond that is not letting players start on a mission they failed. So yeah, if you have a limited amount of game time you'd better win all the way to that next checkpoint maybe 3 or 4 missions away or you are going to be starting again. These made an otherwise fun game, absolute garbage. Do yourself a favor and skip it.

Tales From the Loop (TV Series)

Don't interact with any weird devices or phenomena.

This eight episode sci-fi drama series is based on the awesome art book of the same name and for the most part does it justice despite relocating the story to the USA. Nice camera work, effects and cinematography are its main strengths but the choice of hopping around town to have a new focused protagonist per episode is a bit of a miss for me - even though said protagonists all interact with each other in some form.

This also means not all the episodes are as good as the others, with the very first one being the strongest. The non-explanation of all the weird stuff going on might also be a problem for some but I guess they're copying the book in that regard. All up its a nice albeit occasionally slow series that gets one thumb up from me.

Death's Gambit Afterlife

Get ready to dodge. A lot.

This side scrolling RPG which seems heavily inspired by Dark Souls is pretty decent. Good controls, an ok story, some nice music, customizable stat leveling and a decent variety of enemies make it a really nice package.

My only complaint, as usual, is the amount of back tracking you need to do as you get new moves that can let you access more areas that you've already passed earlier. Played this more than I thought I would to see if that back tracking thing was something I could overlook but no... the map is pretty big.

While it's not for me you should definitely check it out if you like any combination of action platforming and Dark Souls.

Halo (TV Series 2 Seasons)

Needed more battles and less intrigue.

In this future based off a popular game franchise, genetically engineered super soldiers are humanity's only hope against the evil alien races. No, it's not Warhammer 40k - this is Halo with protagonist "Master Chief" played by Pablo Schrieber.

Over the course of two seasons there are some cool fight scenes with a decent body count but, in a prime example of shooting themselves in the foot, the story also focuses on... random people who have nothing to do with the franchise? What?

Yeah, feels like the woke got to this one which is why it only lasted two seasons. That and/or they needed better writers. While I still enjoyed it, I can understand why it got canned.

Sniper Ghost Warrior Contracts

Where sniping isn't enough!

This first person shooter has you play as a lone sniper assassin sent on five missions to kill people, but it's never enough just to kill the target. You'll also be tasked to hack computers and steal diaries and such, often from pockets of the very target you killed. 

So yes, there's a sneaking around aspect to it where you can knife people but more likely you'll be shooting everyone (not just your target) dead. You can bring a customizable loadout but your sniper rifle will always be your primary weapon (especially since its the one that gets the slow-mo bullet kill cams), which means you will need to get used to ranging bullet drops and wind changes as this game takes those super seriously. And when you do get used to it, it is very fun!

That said the maps are large but it still feels like a short game. All up not a bad distraction from whatever main thing you are playing.

Busy September

Between working on "my own" TTRPG (in quotes because there's lots of external source inspiration) and actual work which is kicking my butt I've been a bit slack in posting. Hopefully that changes soon.

In the meantime you can try play around and make your own 6 second AI generated video for free! The site is Chinese but it can work with an English prompts. Tech advances are wild man. I'm also keen to see the remote machine guns Ukraine is developing (also, they've counter invaded Russia). Now gamers can really get into the fight? Curious to see if it will be stationary sentries or mobile with tracks or legs.

Then of course there's good old low tech sabotage and subterfuge, to do things like getting your enemies communication devices to just explode. That's pretty impressive too.

Pathfinder: Wet Skull

[Part of the Party Time journal]  

Almost immediately after clearing the fort the party hears the (magically audio boosted) alarm bell from Turtleback Ferry so they trek back there to find a third of the place now being consumed by flooding. Valeros and Merisiel ford the dangerous waters with ropes to save some kids and their teacher stuck in a turtle shell boat, dealing with a giant snake also being washed by the flood while they're at it. Once the civilians are saved they use the same boat to bring Kyra, Ezren and Shay forward to try save a church full of people stuck in the flood waters.

Also en route to the church is a giant water creature Loch Ness, the Black Maga, who the party manage to piss off enough so that it changes its focus to them. Ezren is the only one who saves against its confusing breath attack and basically the party is very much at the mercy of this ancient creature who has an easy time swatting them around (when they're not attacking each other lol). Inexplicably the beasty decides to not wipe out the party and instead leaves / gets washed away with the water.

Once they come to their senses the party saves the church goers (though, not really as the flood waters are subsiding by that point) and get to rest like heroes. Briefly. They are then tasked to check out the dam at Skull's Crossing (which is heavy on the Skull motif) as the flooding issue might be related so they head up there, parting ways with Baldy who takes some villagers to help clean up the Black Arrow fort.

At the dam the party discovers it being sabotaged by ogres so they get up there and slay them, including an ettin and a troll family living within (apart from a sea troll who manages to elude them by swimming away). In a side chamber Merisiel has a close call against a robot skull scorpion guarding the dam controls but they destroy it before anyone gets killed.

Ezren then works out the magical dam is powered by the life force of sacrificial summons, in this case a super weak pit fiend. To do a controlled flood and alleviate the danger, Kyra uses a summoned creature to help power it for emergency operations which Ezren handles - destroying the summon and the pit fiend in the process.

Arcade Paradise

The ultimate mini game chill out collection.

In first person business simulation game, you are put in charge of a laundromat that happens to have a small backroom with a few arcade games. I was quite worried about this game with the whole "business simulation" bit and grungy animation intro but when that last drawing fades into the crisp 3D view - I was quickly hooked. Especially since almost everything you do is income. Do the laundry mini-game? Get money. Pick up trash? Get money. Yank gum off furniture? Get money.

The game loop is very cool and quite relaxing and I for one enjoyed the laundry, but the whole point of the game is to expand the arcade space and number of arcade games (your only real expenses) on site which just generates passive income. And you can play ALL of them. Sure, a lot are re-skins of old classics but that doesn't make them any less fun. The carrot there is by completing goals on them they start making even more passive money. To do all this AND have a simple story arc mixed in there? Awesome. I ended up playing this A LOT. Highly recommended!

Umbrella Academy (TV) and The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare

Not fighting fair.

Umbrella Academy (4 Seasons)

This show focuses on a dysfunctional superhero "family" adopted by a domineering and eccentric billionaire father who uses them to fight crime. Alas after a botched mission they all go their separate ways for years until their hated father figure dies. It's as this point they discover they have to stop the apocalypse (or, a chain of them as it turns out). Some funny bits, some cool bits, and some decent fight scenes pepper the very weird plot so it is entertaining for the spectacle if nothing else. Acting wise I'd say Aidan Gallagher is the stand out performer here and easily steals the majority of the scenes he's in.

The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare

It is World War II and the British have had enough of the Nazi's dominating the seas thanks to their U-boats, so they assemble a small team (with members played by Henry Cavill and Alan Ritchson to name a few) to go an unsanctioned undercover mission to hit the U-boat supply station on a Spanish controlled island. On one side it's a very humorous take with Nazi's being terrible shots and having so many of them as fodder but there are a few brief bits of torture just to reinforce that the Nazi's are the very bad guys. Ultimately a movie to turn your brain off for, as that's the best way to enjoy it.

Pathfinder: The Real Ogres

[Part of the Party Time journal]  

With Ezren's owl, Stolas, providing "drone footage" information the heroes along with Shay and the Black Arrows eventually decide to try lure out the ogre guards from the fort via a flaming sphere that explodes the "blocked" Eastern gate of the place. Sure enough, ogres start pouring out from both of the fortress gates led by a tall red one DL likes to call "Carly"?

Half the ogres are handled by Valeros' flamethrower along with the Black Arrows and Kibb (who is the only one to take damage in this group), while the rest including Carly are dealt with with Kyra's AoEs and summoned bear and eagle (both destroyed by Carly), Ezren's AOEs and magic missiles, Merisiel's archery and javelin of lightning and Shay's archery, ending the first wave of fifteen. Apart from the animals none of the assaulters are damaged yet, but that changes quickly as Ezren sends forth a silent image to see if there are any more ogres lying in wait and five more spring from hiding.

Two of the five are special big boys though and they do manage to get into melee range with the first one slaying Baldy with a ridiculous one shot overkill. Kibb is also lucky to survive retreating against a free hit before Valeros finally gets into position to tank them down. Kyra uses the beginner ressurection scroll she's hanging onto to revive Baldy but semi-fails as the result is simply delayed an hour, which is fine as the team had retreated back to the forest to camp briefly to regain spells (Ezren only needs two hours now thanks to a magic ring bought in Magnimar).

With Stolas not finding any more movement the squad heads through a secret passage near a waterfall where they collect much needed arrows then ignore some cute lightning lizards and banish a ghost before looping around to the castle proper. Valeros smashes the door down... stealthily? And then Merisiel leads the team in pretty much ganking the individual rooms of ogres who are no match for them until they get upstairs to face the daddy ogre. This guy is nasty and survives lots of big attacks while also ganking Stamp with criticals (190-ish damage)?

The last major battle is with a lady in the basement, who turns out to also be an annoying lamia matriarch (and is the ogre's boss). Her six attacks are quite deadly at the start, but then Ezren lands a ray of enfeeblement on her which makes her much more manageable with party members able to risk the free hits to step into the room to surround her. Merisiel eventually finishes her off and DL announces we have officially cleared the fort! Too bad for Stamp, we found evidence that he was the traitor who helped the ogres in so he can stay dead.

Pathfinder: The Black Arrows

[Part of the Party Time journal] 

It takes a month before Pug completes the flamethrower for Valeros (me) and for Ezren (Juris) to learn his new spells, but soon they along with Kyra (Rose) and Merisiel (mom) are tasked by the governor to check upon the Night Watch Black Arrows, a group based out in the mountains defending against the wildlings(?) beyond. They take the already paid for Ferry where they meet up with Shay once more who is also headed to look for a Black Arrow of personal interest to her.

It's an uneventful trip up river apart from the incessant rain the gods have decided to inundate this area with just to screw over anyone bringing a flamethrower (lol). Soon the party gets to the village of Turtleback Ferry and get some random rumors about ogres and sunken ships they can do nothing about since their ride has already left. So, they decide to start the trek to the Black Arrow base of Fort Rannick on foot (the horses couldn't go on the ferry) and en route come across a big cat stuck in a trap about to become ogre and ogre dog food. The team defends the kitty and slays all the attackers to discover this wasn't an ogre but an ogre-kin (half-human half-ogre) hillbilly.

The freed cat then leads the team to the hillbilly's ramshackle home for some reason and the party just gets to work tearing up all the scum present starting with their home where traps and a surprise attack in the basement causes the most damage, followed by the barn where the fat necromancer matriarch fled to (via dimension door) after being defeated in the house. All foes including the zombie swarm and their pet giant ogre spider are easily handled with Valeros' cleave and flamer (indoors is fine? lol), Merisiel's new backstabby sword, Ezren's +50% spell attribute metamagic fireballs, and Kyra's new slew of holy magics and celestial bear.

Three captives are rescued from the homestead, all Black Arrows and one of whom is the one Shay is looking for - step daddy "Eye Patch" who is the owner of the cat (named "Kibb"). With him are "Baldy" and "Stamp" (not their actual names, Valeros just keeps giving nicknames to people). Stamp is a bit concerning as he has a sihedron tattoo on him, a mark usually left on victims of the previous bad guys (and similar tattoos were spotted on villagers of Turtleback). He claims it was just to get discounts at a now sunken pleasure barge which is good enough for the team but Eye Patch and Baldy also agree to keep an eye on him as their next stop is Fort Rannick, now fallen to real ogres.

Synced Century: Age of Ashes Maid of Sker

Another trio of epic games.

Synced

This futuristic shooter that involves nanites reviving the dead and somehow using one zombie as your ally actually has no future any more. Outside of the tutorial I wasn't able to create a character as the servers are shutting down on September 9 2024. Just wasn't cool enough I suppose?

Century: Age of Ashes

Of the dragon flight simulators (or large avian flight simulators) that I've played this one certainly is up there in terms of graphics as well as having an easy control scheme. Of course, it also stands apart in being purely a team versus team arena albeit with various missions while killing each other, and dragon collection and customization on the side. A little slow to load up but pretty quick to find matches so thumbs up for that too. Alas, I'm not into PvP so its not for me but its definitely worth checking out.

Maid of Sker

In this first person horror sneaker you must make your way through a creepy hotel to save your girl, and while there are heavy Resident Evil vibes with the hotel's structure and map (but not enemies) it plays more like Thief in that you must sneak past everything (though there is an alternate "escape the hotel" mode where you get weapons and can just fight your way out like a horror shooter). Because all the enemies are blind and only work using their hearing, sneaking is super effective but your character happens to be a moron who has a penchant for ringing bells, answering telephones and coughing at the worst time which is a negative for me. Oddly there's a "safe mode" that removes all enemy threats but still can creep you out with many jump scares if you just want to enjoy the pretty decent story. Thumbs up!

Avengers: Old Guard

[Part of Superhero Stories]

When Barton and Romanoff kicked open the doors to the main lab, they got the drop on MODOK, the Abomination and lead AIM scientist Monica Rappacini sometimes known as the Scientist Supreme. Clint immediately put one bullet in the oversized head and two in the tiny body of the Mechanized Organism Designed Only For Killing, which put an end to this over rated villain while Natasha gracefully dodged the charge of the Abomination while sticking him with a small round adhesive disc.

He's a pretty big target.

"Courtesy of Hank Pym," she said calmly while she pressed a trigger button in her gauntlet which instantly shrunk the Abomination to ant size, but due to his lack of a protective suit - he was squished into a piece of mushy flesh. Before she could enjoy the justice she doled out for Kate and Kamala, Dr. Rappacini had suddenly crossed the chamber in the blink of an eye and jabbed the Russian with a syringe.

"NO!" yelled Clint as he made a desperate lunge for Monica and her belt that most obviously housed the Tesseract on its buckle - the gem giving her the ability to teleport. He succeeded, and despite Monica warping back the distance she came from - his grip ensured he went with her. Without hesitation he grasped the Tesseract and yanked it out, burning his hand in the process. "Stop! You don't know what..." Monica began but Clint didn't care.

With the Cosmic Cube under his control he warped both of them to the only place that would stop the Scientist Supreme for good: inside the gem itself. By breaking the already fragile physics of teleportation by putting the Tesseract into itself the pair of them and the gem included imploded upon themselves with loud and sickening cracks as they folded into each other repeatedly into smaller and smaller portions until they were completely erased from existence.

Meanwhile Natasha had fallen to all fours, crying out in agony as she felt her insides melt while managing to read the label on the discarded syringe used on her: "Polonium+". As if it needed the extra plus she thought to herself. With the last of her willpower she threw out a few more small explosives just like the ones she had been setting on the way down here, and then she pressed the trigger to detonate.

Avengers: Powerless

[Part of Superhero Stories]

Advanced Idea Mechanics, the same group currently waging war against Wakanda. What were they doing having a hidden outpost right in the middle of the city and why did this information come from digital data pulled from a lone arrow near the crashed Helicarrier? Natasha Romanoff's questions would soon be answered as she casually made her way right past security under the guise of a lowly laborer. Hawkeye had been missing off comms for awhile now, could he be in here somewhere?

A quick side step down an unpatrolled corridor she wasn't meant to be in and a flash of a security card she had lifted from the goon outside was all it took to find her answers. There in an isolated cage was her friend - Hawkeye, beaten and broken. He had a clear line of sight to the tables against the opposite wall atop which were the stripped corpses of the Winter Soldier, Kamala Khan, Kate Bishop and what was left of Captain America. Quickly composing herself, Natasha forced herself forward to unlock his cell as she whispered a reassuring "Let's get you out of here."

"Nat? Is that you?" Barton said weakly. "I failed them Nat. I failed them. I... I told MODOK how to open the Tesseract box." Romanoff looked at him in disbelief as he continued. "Yeah. They pried it from T'challa's cold dead fingers, but they couldn't open it... not until I... I told them how. They used Steve's hand Nat. Only four people could open that box and they... they..."

"Then we'd better go get it back," Natasha said sternly as she offered Clint one of her Glock 26s. With an exchange of silent nods, Hawkeye took the firearm and followed her lead deeper into the facility. 

He's always happy to see her.

Avengers: New Blood

[Part of Superhero Stories]

"Thanks for coming with me Kate," said Kamala over her shoulder as the pair made their way through the wreck of the crashed helicarrier. "Oh please, I'm pretty much an Avenger already," replied Kate, composite bow at the ready just like how her mentor, Clint Barton (aka Hawkeye) taught her. All her gusto left as the pair made their way past the next bulkhead to the twisted center of the wreck and came across the corpse of the Winter Soldier. While Kamala instinctively covered her nose, Kate grit her teeth and searched his pockets to find any sort of clue as to why he was here in the first place.

She had just bagged a small phone when she heard Kamala tearfully gasp "Oh my god." She was staring at the shattered shield of Captain America, still connected to his bloody dismembered arm. "Your god can't hear you," laughed a menacing deep voice as the opposite end of the wreck suddenly bent apart - revealing the Abomination as he stepped into their space and addressed Kate directly. "Give me what you took little thief!"

"RUN!" yelled Kate as she bolted back the way they came with Kamala close behind but their monstrous foe was gaining on them. At a T-junction the Abomination had to pause and rub his eyes as he saw two Kate Bishops run in opposite directions so he charged headlong after one of them and cornered her in a dead end... only to then see this Kate transform back into Kamala. "Oh you're good..." he grinned as he cracked his knuckles. "Good is not a thing you are. It's a thing you do," she replied defiantly.

Outside, Kate fired a special arrow containing the bagged device far away with a tracker for any Avenger or SHIELD agent to recover, then hastily made her way back to find her friend but it was too late. "Give me a real fight!" challenged the Abomination as he casually tossed Kamala's battered and bloody corpse aside. Kate drew her bow and fired... and it did not go well for her either.

Based on the official stats from the Marvel website.

Lumbearjack and CYGNI - All Guns Blazing

Games about wrecking!

Lumbearjack

In this cutesy game you control an anthropomorphic bear who happens to be an eco-conscious lumberjack and is called to action to stop the polluting influence of a human company which is "EVIL" (literally, that's the name). Nothing can kill you and the loop is pretty simple - save this areas local critter and open the path forward by hacking at any EVIL thing: like trash, cars, construction vehicles, factories and fast food joints. Destroying bigger things needs a bigger axe which you can make by recycling the junk you get from cutting. It's annoying that you keep having to craft the bigger axes but its simple and quick enough to do. You get to slap people too so that they change their ways. All up its a frivolous and funny game that encourages eco-terrorism. Not sure if recommended. :P

CYGNI - All Guns Blazing

This scrolling top down shooter is absolutely beautiful once you get past the very basic but very informative tutorial which I highly recommend since knowing how to lock on and fire rockets, recharge weapons and shields and toggling from shooting air targets and land targets is essential. Good luck remembering any of it though as you are then put into the bullet hell of the main game that features regular gigantic bosses and just too many things moving on the screen to intentionally mess you up. Yes, this game wrecks you! Only recommended for bullet hell experts as novices will be dying frequently even on easy mode.

Blades in the Heart: The Emperor

[Part of the Party Time journal]  

In trying to convince the Lord Governor to do something about the cruel Warden Pope, Juris accidentally blurts out (possibly due to his constipation) that they were going to kill him (the Lord Governor) in their previous encounter which naturally angers him. He tells Pope to deal with them as he sees fit and leaves while the demonic Warden grows in size and starts attacking the chains of the lift they are still standing on but its a short fight as Juris creates a domain of chaos with things randomly floating around with all the party riding chaos bears for some reason and in his madness the Warden falls into the hole to whatever lies beneath.

Our heroes then return back to base and rest up fully, but then are drawn outside as the city's barrier is eerily off for around five minutes before turning back on. A handful of the Emperor's Quicksilver guard start appearing (they move like the Flash) followed by the Emperor himself who steps out of a ghost door shrouded by a sphere of ghosts who announces he is there to eat them. DL and mom kill some of the guards with really good rolling but as more appear it's Juris that nullifies them with a lava domain, causing the speedsters caught within to die. And everyone is on fire bears immune to lava now. Lol. He does lightning bolt the flying Emperor (of course he can fly) which only shaves off a few of the ghosts and the Emperor laughs, saying his shield can never be broken as the ghosts in the ghost field hate it there. This unlocks Rose's final kamikaze ability Queen of Dreams, which we'll get back to shortly.

Juris opts to turn off his domain as DL does a massive kage-bunshin to really whack the Emperor's shield off (though all the 20+ clones die in the process) so the Emperor orders his Quicksilver guard to start killing everyone in the city so that he can rebuild his shield with their souls as he steps back through a ghost door. Mom jumps through trying to slap him with her Death Manifest but misses, followed by Rose and Juris who preemptively makes a domain of slippery ice (back on polar bears) in case any of the Quicksilvers arrive but it isn't necessary as DL stays outside with a new set of Kagebunshin clones to fight them AND the Lord Governor AND Lady Freya Orlais and her goons.

Rose then activates her Queen of Dreams ability: she becomes the ruler of the ghost field and can turn it into whatever heaven she decides, drawing all but the most determined of ghosts from the regular world to it. The cost is that she can never leave (and basically retires her character), but her very first command is to make the Emperor kneel - and then mom slaps him with her Death Manifest, killing him instantly (and almost killing herself). This frees the sun god imprisoned inside of the Emperor and Rose lets everyone go back to Duskwall where the sun god rises to the heavens to reignite the sun.

As there are still loads of Quicksilver scum running about so Juris uses his kamikaze ability too and turns into a giant winged bear to smash what's left of the bad guys, some extras like Lord Elon, and nom of the almost dead Lord Governor Kotar. He then lands near Matt Demon who is looking after his dog(s) and explodes into a forest once his clock runs out (character retired). While DL did gain his ultimate kamikaze move to turn into music that spreads world peace to all but the most evil, crazy or deaf he choses not to use it and instead bring peace with the edge of his blades. Cabrita (mom) on the other hand never unlocked her ultimate skill, but given she was the one that slew the emperor and reignited the sun the odds of her becoming the next ruler of the city and/or the nation (her goal) are at least much improved now, but still not guaranteed.

And that is the end of Blades! If I run another TTRPG it will be one of my own making but I'll definitely be borrowing a lot of ideas from this system. Thanks for reading!

Blades in the Heart: GTFO

[Part of the Party Time journal]  

Matt suggests looking for a ritual site in Ironhook prison since a number of cultists had turned themselves in recently, but Warden Pope will only let them in as arrested prisoners. At an impasse, the squad backs off and Juris sends one of his hulls to get a warrant from the Lord Governor while DL uses his turning into mist ability to scout out the prison, finding most of the cells empty and an ominous deep hole within.

Reporting back to the others they decide their investigation can't wait and so mom rolls really well to stealth them into the cell blocks via the dockside entrance where they meet the prisoner Tarvul, patriarch of the Charhollow butchers they had previously befriended. He reveals the warden has been sending down people from "isolation" to scout out the hole and to return with relics from it, and confirms that a large group of cultists had descended a few days ago. Mom gains the ability to regenerate around this point, meaning apart from quick healing she can no longer die to anything but her death manifest - but since that is just left as a vague "violently" it doesn't really make her immortal.

After freeing Tarvul he accompanies them down, warning them to watch their lights and noise as there are creatures that live down here. Hairless, faceless humanoids with big mouths (yep, I totally went with GTFO). The excellent stealth rolls stopped here and the team basically fights their way through the sleepers with a big fight getting a security door to open. DL makes good use of the Ungalaboonga bomb to explode a huge chunk of the "endless" wave which only stops spawning once the alarm is finished.

This encounter with aliens is the last of Juris' dream tasks and thus gains a final "kamikaze" ability to turn into the avatar of the forest god. He can become any giant animal and gain ridiculous power but only for a 10 clock, which he can't stop once started. At the end of which, he explodes into a forest and is basically retired from the game. Juris also tries to eat some of the aliens and for it gains intense constipation. :P

Beyond the door they find the ritual site with a lone priestess whom mom snipes before she even notices them. They destroy the ritual and make their way back up to find Warden Pope waiting for them at the surface, upset that they broke in. The Lord Governor is there too though and tells thim to let them go. This would have been fine but then Juris had to open his big mouth...

Blades in the Heart: A Powerful Alliance

[Part of the Party Time journal]  

Before returning to base, the team visits a haunted hospital where they find documented proof that the Lord Governor signed off on creating a disease to target specific heritages but it got out of control leading him to choose to abandon the district and those left in it.

After resting, they confront him about it at the town hall where (vampire) Lady Freya Orlais has just won the election for High Seat which was once Lady Drake's throne of power. Rose minorly alters reality to have scheduled a meeting with the Lord Governor and they do so in a back room where Juris tries to blackmail him with the evidence, however he reveals that when he did try to stop it the Emperor himself maimed him, and so pushed forward with his lead scientist Elon.

They then try convince him to help them stand against the Emperor to which he makes them prove themselves first, transforming into a demonic form that catches Cabrita's (mom's) rifle bullet, throwing it back at her and easily dispatching DL's three clones - a skill he just recently learned (and a direct copy of Naruto's kage-bunshin). Juris manages to weaken the Lord Governor by putting him into a domain of sunless snow, and for some reason all the party is riding polar bears, and Rose capitalizes on this by forcing him to kneel (power word), which is tough for a cripple - demon or not.

Defeated, Lord Governor Kotar agrees to assist them should the time come and warns them that the Emperor will come for them should he learn of their godling powers as he has an appetite for eating gods (which is how he got so powerful). Happy with this result the team then head to the last ritual site that Lord Elon had mentioned to them previously in the farmlands of Barrowcleft, but it turns out the missing farm hands were being fed to monstrous plants by an unscrupulous gardener who bought strange seeds from a prison guard. After feeding the crook to her own plants they decide to visit the best information agent in town, Matt Demon.

Floppy Knights FIST The Falconeer Rawmen

A triple F from Epic (F for Failure)!

Floppy Knights

This turn based card strategy game with cutesy art is a mishmash of things that hurt my head. It starts out where you need to fight goblin bandits meddling with antennas by using your strap on computer (oh my) to create holographic flora based forces and send them forth into battle? And make no mistake battling is the only thing you can do as you are set on a railroad of them from the get go. Not recommended.

FIST - Forged in Shadow Torch

In anthropomorphic China, you are one of the oppressed masses - an angry bunny with a robot arm who must traverse this side scrolling and platforming game to beat up the bad guys to earn enough currency to unlock more skills to better traverse and platform previously passed routes. This leads to one of my most hated game designs... back tracking. I know that's just a me thing, it really killed what otherwise was a decent if somewhat dated game. Cool graphics though!

The Falconeer

On an ocean world, mankind is stuck in towns clinging to rocks save for being able to travel on the back of giant eagles and dragons with lightning guns (and also via ocean ships and flying ships, just don't ask where the wood comes from)! So yes - this is basically a flying simulator with some story attached and while the controls take some getting used to there are some cool ideas like flying into a storm to recharge weapons and diving into the water to cool down but the game play loop isn't great as most objectives are go here, fight stuff there and then repeat. Might still be something for flight sim enthusiasts but for everyone else, skip it.

Final Bonus: Rawmen: Food Fighter Arena - it doesn't start with "F", but it has a terribly long load time followed by failing to even start the tutorial so I'm not wasting any time with this trash.

Those about to Die, 1883 and 1923

TV dramas set during historical periods.

Those about to Die (Season 1)

Ancient Rome is cruel to everyone from its Emperors to its slaves, and underworld figure Tenax (Iwan Rheon) deals with both as he navigates the ladder of improving his own position. While there are gladiators its worth pointing out they aren't the main focus (at least in season 1) as the Coliseum is still under construction. Instead there are a lot of chariot races with budget CGI and maybe a few too many characters but at least the death count cleans them out a bit. Definitely one we enjoyed for the spectacle rather than for the plot, but we'll definitely watch a season two of it if it comes around.

1883

This Western focuses on an expedition from Texas to Oregon led by an old veteran (Sam Elliot), is filled with beautiful cinematography, and almost all the main actors are mounted on horses for most of the time. Story wise it drags a little at the start but picks up rather quickly along with the death count when we witness just how unprepared most of the settlers are as they go through very dangerous territories whose "laws" don't really protect anyone and just give people an extra reason to kill. There's so much killing, it's great! Recommended.  

1923 (Season 1)

The continuation of 1883 which focuses on the Dutton family led by an elderly but grizzled patriarch (Harrison Ford) as a locust plague causes violent clashes between his cattle herd crew and a neighboring sheep herd gang. That sounds really tame how I wrote that, but while the death count so far is lower than 1883 there's still a good amount of shooting with a side of lynching. Strangely, there are three plot threads going on here and one that starts in Africa certainly gets the "adventure" segment of the show and feels like its the main story. As such while we did enjoy it, it sure feels like season 1 was just setting up the characters with no resolution. We'll need to wait for season two to see how everything ties together.