Drowning in too many things

Hmm, that's actually a good title for a de-cluttering type of post but it's actually just the continuation of my work overload. On the plus side, I've found a good set of youtube tracks to listen to that gets me in the working mood. AI generated cyberpunk synth music? It's pretty cool.

Here are a few of my regulars:
1999 - Drift into Memory 
2088 - Protocol: Airstrike
1999 - Momentum Over Fear 
1996 - Neural Link Broken
1989 - Walk Through Fire

The Friday night game sessions are currently Ready or Not, which is a FPS law enforcement game that reminds me a lot of SWAT3. DL has a video of one of our play throughs of that for those who prefer a more visual stimulus. :) 

More than Nothing: Black Vale Expedition

[Part of the Party Time journal]

After more weeks of police work the team save a pregnant woman being chased by some idiotic thugs that keep yelling "Pale-dogs!" (their gang name). The woman thanks them for the save and continues on her way to the temple of Koochikoo while the others track down the Paledog leader in a run down house in the city. He reveals they were paid to slay the woman with the still moist offertory box from the temple itself, so they quickly rush there to find the very lecherous priest Carpef organizing some "friends" to take care of her. All the bad guys are arrested and Carpef admits that he needs the woman killed because he had a vision her baby (his child) would bring about the end of the world. But he couldn't kill her himself because he's devout!?

They are then joined by new recruits (all the survivors from the prison) to join caravaner Jhonen's archeological expedition to find treasure for Praetor Artorias, and Jhonen guarantees they'll find more than nothing. They first stop at Thorsen, a filthy pig farm, where a young woman named Jalla asks to join the mission - because she hates it there. Her father Rorke is against this but Ughh makes him back off. 

While traveling alongside a river Aah goes to save a drowning person only to find its a trap by a quartet of great river cats with hands for tails and human voices! Unfortunately the cats didn't count on there being so many soldiers and Jerghonson leads the militia to bash them to death before they can do anything.

Upon entering the Black Vale, bitterworm has spoiled over 70% of the caravan rations and the dark mountain men that live here move their flocks away but send a scout to keep tabs on them. It is a temple of theirs to their god Popeta that Jhonen wants to uncover, and sure enough near a mountain summit the 30 extra miners uncover a belfry they can descend (which saves a lot of digging)!

Jhonen, 5 soldiers, Ughh and Aah rappel down with the miners where they find an odd looking altar - a humanoid form above what seems to be a hand, and sudden movement in the surrounding ash reveals many "hands" / handspiders that come to attack them - with one managing to climb up a miner and puppeteer him! The hands are of little threat with the organized defenders though.

The defense upstairs is good too, led by Mamita and Jerghonson the mountain men's pincer attack raid is easily foiled (despite losing four men) when they kill over half the attackers in one combat round, routing the enemy immediately!

[Inspired by Ptolus Adventures]  

More than Nothing: Partopian Police

[Part of the Party Time journal]

Having been arrested and stripped of all gear, the teens find themselves in an arena with seventeen other prisoners in a trial by combat against four sabretooth cats! Ughh spends most of his time convincing the other NPCs to fight while Jerghonson makes the cats hit each other while Aah and Mamita dextrously do acrobatics to avoid them. Ultimately, all the cats are slain and the eight survivors (the four PCs, their friends Waywocket and Rowina, and previous race contestants Yuriet and Crixus) are congratulated by Praetor Artorias who then recruits them into his army so that they can be more than nothing. 

It is night time, beneath a handful of stars, when the recruits officially graduate and are given clubs and blue tunics. Captain Tamir tells them that Aeteran Emperor Julian is in need of man power in a war against the hordes of Bhir'Beli to the South, so the new recruits will serve as the Partopian police force while veteran soldiers are sent off to battle. 

Their first few missions are simple affairs: clearing out a blockage in the sewer caused by some whack job trying to make bigger rats, find the stolen offering box from the temple of Koochikoo (stolen by the simple groundsman who wanted to impress a girl but the girl then tossed it in the river, Ughh makes her go swim for it), and being temporary prison guards to an underground jail where incarcerated criminals were recently vanishing (one of the locked up people was a shape shifting slime, eating the others in their sleep - set on fire by Aah after Ughh discovers it).

They also retrieve a wagon for caravaner Jhonen from some bandits who pose as farm hands who are no match for the team that have a surprisingly cinematic fight sequence with them (the players tell me what they do and the dice decide if it works or not, I only decide the effectiveness of the action or the repercussions for failure).

Plot armor was used this time (mainly in the arena)!

Jerghonson had a sibling Jimgonson who was always his biggest rival as he was much wiser, claiming "you're not smart enough to read my books!"

Mamita always had a hard time making friends because she's smarter than them.

Ughh has a story when his caretakers lost him in a forest as he was "hiding in the shadows". Ever since that time could merge with the shadows as long as no one is looking.

Aah was a street orphan but she was taken in by Governor Quintus. While delivering vegetables for Quintus to a market stall one day she gave some to a beggar figuring they wouldn't be missed.

[Inspired by Ptolus Adventures] 

The Bluff and The Rip

Two decent movies!

The Bluff

In this swashbuckling tale, a band of pirates raid a small island village that happens to have a fishwife with a violent past (played by Priyanka Chopra). While the story is predictable and some of the younger actors aren't great, the action pieces are pretty good with Priyanka really getting into it. All up decent enough flick for those that like fighting and pirates.

The Rip

In this thriller, a police squad (whose leader is played by Matt Damon) suffering from loss of a team mate and low wages, raid a stash house where they find a huge amount of cash and start to turn on each other if they should keep some of the find for themselves. Good acting, a good story, and an excellent use of tension makes this an easy one to recommend. I really enjoyed it!

Steal River Kin

Three TV series related to crime!

Steal

This short, six episode British crime series stars Sophie Turner who plays an office clerk at a financial company that is hit by an armed robbery. Good editing keeps it moving at a decent clip, and the protagonist is quite likable - unlike some of her "friends"! Getting invested enough to like or not like characters is a good thing! Recommended, and as it's a complete story I don't think it will be getting a season two.

River

This six episode British crime series stars Stellan Skarsgård who plays Detective River, who as far as I can tell really shouldn't be a police man because he talks to dead people. Well not really, because they're just in his head and they only tell him what he already knows or how he is already feeling. When you randomly talk and shout to people that aren't there well... lets just say you're not at the top of the list for being someone to defend the community. Anyway, the story and acting is ok but that whole overarching premise is quite strange (in a bad way).

Kin

This two season Irish crime drama stars Charlie Cox who plays a member of the Kinsela crime family who seem to be "middle men" when if comes to the drug trade. The first season has a few slow bits but it certainly picks up as it goes along, and its funny that despite them being somewhat infamous they also are lacking in power when compared to shows that have other crime families in that they have a healthy fear of the law and are often bullied as they're never the biggest fish in their pond. That scripted "weakness" makes it interesting! I'll definitely be watching a season three if it comes out.

The Gentlemen and Countdown

Two wildly different TV shows.

The Gentlemen

When younger sibling Eddie (played by Theo James) surprisingly inherits the large family estate, he also inherits ties to an illegal business venture growing marijuana in a secret lair benath his farmland. He quickly becomes entangled with them despite trying to evict them (without getting himself or his family killed). It doesn't help that his brother is a self absorbed moron who has a gift for making everything worse! Excellently written and acted, this action comedy series definitely delivers an entertaining spectacle. Can't wait for season two and definitely recommended!

Countdown

This police crime drama follows a covert task force made up of individuals (less than ten) from various law enforcement agencies, the "star" of whom is played by Jensen Ackles. It has alright action scenes and story but it wastes a lot of time showing bad guy stuff, which eventually is covered again when the characters discover the information. More than that - it also has some really odd pacing where the main villain is beaten a number of episodes before the season even finishes. Plenty of room for improvement, if it gets a second season at all.

Battlefield: Hardline

A different take on the usual formula. 

The Battlefield franchise usually has players in the shoes of soldiers anywhere from world war I to future battles with robots but in this title the battle is simply the modern day war on drugs. Unfortunately there seemed to be no servers I could join to experience the multiplayer aspect of this one but it does come with a very solid single player campaign with a decent story where you play a cop. 

How it feels waiting for the server search which then returns with no results...

While you can still shoot people dead (and that will happen a lot) you gain more XP to unlock gear by arresting baddies, increasing the focus on stealth and getting up close to flash your badge which can "stun" up to 3 enemies to arrest them (but need to be fast and aim down sights at others to keep their hands up). Your load out options increase quickly with some very gamey items like grapple hook launchers becoming available but you also get to try out some of the vehicles the game has to offer. I quite enjoyed it, but only will recommend buying it when its on sale.

Dark Winds and House of David

TV shows with greater powers at work?

Dark Winds

This currently three season series follows tribal policeman Joe Leaphorn (played by Zahn McClarnon) as he and his colleagues investigate often fatal crimes that happen to have a touch (but the slightest, lightest whisper of a touch) of the supernatural. After all sometimes your medicine bag will protect you better than your six shooter? It's an interesting mix but one I feel isn't played to its full potential. I'm also a bit annoyed that our hero is very slow on the trigger but I have to keep reminding myself that that's a more reasonable / relatable character than one who just blasts everyone away. :P  I'll definitely keep watching it but am holding off on recommendations for the time being as the episode quality ranges a fair bit.

House of David (season 1)

This currently one season show follows David, the biblical shepherd boy destined to be king. Other than it being a lot more musical than I though it would be as David (played by Michael Iskander) sings a lot, there's a bit of royal drama mixed in with a few action scenes that really solidify this as an old testament story (there's lots of killing in there). It helps that the acting and story are decent which make us eager to watch season 2. I don't think its as good as The Chosen though, but it still has a lot of time to change my mind.

Hunted (Australia TV Series)

It's a big game of hide and seek!

This currently three season reality contest sees around 10 contestant pairs act as criminals on the run, with each pair getting a discrete camera operator on their team as they try elude capture for about 20 days at which point they need to extract to win a share of the prize money (which they may or may not be carrying on them, depending on the season).

There are other limits imposed on the contestants, like they can't leave the state during "the game", they have to move every x number of days, they can't load up with loads of cash pre run and so on.

Meanwhile the Hunter force is made up of four two man ground units (+camera man) and an office of techies, ex-cops and ex-soldiers who use everything in their cheat mode level power to track down and tag the crooks to get them out of the game. It's actually really cool to see the numerous tools they have at their disposal.

Yes it's heavily edited, but its in that that makes the episodes exciting. So exciting that we ended up binge watching every available episode! While it might not be to everyone's tastes, I definitely enjoyed this one (the Australian series anyway. Other countries also have Hunted)!

Blades in the Dark: Words over Whiskey

[Part of the Party Time journal]

Duskwall: one of the few remaining cities in the world following the cataclysm that took place 850 years ago that turned the waters black and prevented the spirits of the dead from departing. Through the science and sorcery of the Immortal Emperor the city's crowded districts are protected from the Deathlands of life draining ghosts by a fence of massive lightning barriers, but what protects them from the brutal gangs and corrupt institutions within?

In the district of Crow's Foot which has seen an increased level of violence thanks to a number of gangs fighting for territory while the Bluecoats (police) turn a blind eye, a small group of individuals who all work at the local Weeping Lady charity have decided enough is enough and to take matters into their own hands: DL the cutter (swordsman), mom the hound (hunter), Juris the whisper (talks to dead people/has magic), and Rose the slide (prefers words over violence).

The four meet Remira, a friend from childhood who is now part of the local Lampblack gang, at the Leaky Bucket tavern on the canal flotilla village (and neutral territory) of Tangletown - built upon the shipwreck of a massive leviathan hunter ship that sunk there years ago. Remira tells them that their leader plans on burning down the opposition, regardless of any innocents involved and that she wants out. The arrival of more Lampblacks led causes her to panic a little, but Rose manages to talk them into gambling with Spogg the ugly dice man instead.

Rose then goes alone to meet the Lampblack leader Bazso, who is her friend, and over a glass of whiskey slyly confirms his plan of action and learns that he's waiting on a delivery before starting said attacks. That night Rose and mom sneak aboard the smuggler vessel but are caught! Rose doesn't miss a beat and convinces them that she is Bazso's courier, and they hand over a suitcase of powdered fire: Just add water to make it burn.

Longmire

Home of the Red Pony and continual soiree.

Don't mess with him, cause he really doesn't let things go.

When crimes happen in the small county of Absaroka, it's up to Sheriff Walt Longmire (Robert Taylor) and his small band of deputies to keep the peace. It is well written, has great cinematography and makes good use of even minor characters who re-appear every now and then - which makes sense for a small town and it also helps most of the "villains" are very human too and really by the end we were cheering for some of them.

I also learned a lot of stuff in regards to firearms and American Indian reservations which gets an extra thumbs up. Definitely enjoyed this series and highly recommend it. I give it three and a half broncos out of five.

Liberate Hong Kong (Demo)

It's not liberating at all.

Inspired by the Hong Kong protests this Unity made game sees you don the black outfit and yellow hardhat of a protester facing off against a police line. The graphics are quite decent, and there are some nice info graphics that come up when you get close enough to them.

Hope you like reading, as there's not much else to do.

As a game though? Let's just say I hope the "full" version is better as this demo is terrible. You have a single road arena which isn't that big, and don't have much to do other than jog, pick up tear gas canisters  and duck to avoid getting shot, all of which will get boring after 5 minutes especially as the controls are a bit clunky. Apparently protestors can't walk while crouched?

Unfortunately this is not worth playing in its current state. If the map was expanded to a few city blocks and the player was given random objectives to do it might be better, but ultimately it's a game whose only win condition can be "survive for x amount of time" as it quite rightly captures that there's nothing you can really do against the police.

Insight: You can outrun the police mob, but just barely.

Now, because I really wanted to post something positive, here's a better use of those 5 minutes instead - watching this pretty talented busker illustrate a proper method of "non-violent" protest while under pressure.

Blizzard: Tiananmen II

It's amazing how a few hollow words and the promise of entertainment can quell a crowd about to riot. It worked for the Romans, and it seems to be working for Blizzard too. For those not up to speed, here's a recap:

Blizzard is openly kowtowing to China. Business wise one assumes it would be big money for them at the cost of a little thing like morals and human rights, the same cost China is currently extracting from Hong Kong protestors - a few of whom Blizzard silenced. Game wise, things are being slowly changed for their market (which they deny). Less boobs and bones + more mobile games.

People got angry so Blizzard issued a statement of remorse (not an apology), and did not retract any of the offending actions. They then dazzled people with promises of cool games coming soon, which earned them redemption for some while their other supporters just have a general sense of apathy over the whole thing. It's an interesting disconnect.

I wonder, if an event like Tiananmen Square happens, will Blizzard supporters feel anything or will it just be "Blizzard just makes games man - they didn't pull the trigger", "It's not my fault they support China, I just like their games!" and "What they do with the money I give them is their business, not mine!"

While we ponder that, here's what's happening in Hong Kong now since it's not well covered by mainstream news:

Police are arresting students.

Allegedly raping females.

Making some "disappear".

Use of force has been escalating.

As of late, they're also openly shooting people too.

From point blank.

They were also trying to storm the universities.

Students barricaded defended said locations all night.

The general public is supporting them by delivering supplies.

(Perhaps not this dude in particular, he just looks cool getting his lunch!)

Now the students are gearing up with catapults and bows. 

Meanwhile the police are getting a special unit in to assist them.

Is it a massacre waiting to happen?

Do you even care?

If so, spread awareness of what's happening in Hong Kong and/or boycott what you can of China. Realistically Blizzard is low hanging fruit, but doing even a little is better than doing nothing. If you really can't let go of Blizzard, you might find some other way to help.

Remember: If you're not part of the solution, you are part of the problem.

Bright

Modern day fantasy.

This movie is a strange blend of police procedural and action in a modern world inhabited by fantasy races (and filled with fantastic racism). The main protagonists are a cop duo of Nick (Joel Edgerton), the first orc cop, and Daryl (Will Smith) who seems to be the only black cop.

He makes the show.

Everyone hates everyone for various reasons, and the appearance of a magic wand which is equal parts illegal, dangerous, and valuable acts as a catalyst for some/a lot of violence.

There are huge holes in this story, some from the main antagonist and the elf female lead (if you can call her that?), but mostly from not defining what magic can do and what the cost of using it is. 

Despite that, I really ended up enjoying this movie especially orc cop Nick who is the clear MVP here. Probably not for everyone, but I certainly liked it and would watch it again. I give it 3 fairy pests out of 5.

Old TV Reviews: Grimm Fringe

A continuation of my old TV show reviews.

Grimm (Finished)

Policeman Nick Burkhardt is a cop, but also has the bloodline of a supernatural hunter (aka. Grimm) who can see Wessen (various types of lycanthropes).  Apparently, Portland is crawling with Wessen as every single case involves them somehow. They do come in numerous forms though, and are decently done CGI wise. Also the lore books in the show have some really nice art. The plot does suffer from repetition fatigue though and very slow character growth. Eventually we were just watching for the side characters Monroe (Silas Weir Mitchell) and Rosalee (Bree Turner). :P

Looks like we have another fan!

Fringe (Finished)

At a glance, this show is about a division of the FBI investigating cases involving Fringe Science and near impossibilities. To accomplish said task they need the mad scientist Walter Bishop (played by John Noble) and he is amazing. Everyone else is good too, don't get me wrong, but Walter is just that one level up and makes every scene he is in fantastic. Plot wise, the case per week method quickly falls into a really epic story and is a must watch in my book. I highly, highly recommend this one.

Ah Walter, there's nothing he can't solve with some LSD.

This is the Police

Who knew being a corrupt police chief could be so... boring? Guess that's where the donuts come in!

After an impressive animated opening with a unique, soft and semi abstract art style you quickly find yourself in the boots of an aging police chief who is on the way "out" - since the scumbag Mayor is forcing your retirement in 180 days. Alas future cut scenes are done in a more comic book style format, but it is still cool and the voice acting is pretty decent.

This is what you'll be staring at most of the time.

The mayor is far from the only scum bag though, as you have to deal with the mafia, serial killers and everything from pranksters to terrorists. If you guessed that this is a management game, then good work detective - you are right! The chief of police sends out other people to handle all the 911 calls. You must handle your staffs time and needs with what the city needs and wants... and more importantly what you need and want.

Want to make an easy 80k? Just send three of your officers to a trap and leave their bodies in the morgue. Yes, you can be a very dirty cop. For me there are two main problems with the game: 1 - too few song choices. In the 3rd "act" you get even less songs which makes it feel rushed or incomplete. 2 - The game is too long. 180 days of managing calls is very grindy, heavy on reading, and honestly not very compelling. Majority of them you will be zoning out on autopilot and possibly wishing for donuts.

It's not a bad game, but it's not a fantastic game which is a shame. I really think it could have been better than what it is. In its current form I give it 2 and a half side jobs out of 5. If you like management games, it might be worth a look - otherwise, it might be worth a skip.

Call of Juarez: The Cartel

Just like the good, the bad and the ugly... except they're mostly all bad. 

Despite having some control issues I quite enjoyed the first Call of Juarez as the story, told from two interchanging perspectives was told. It wasn't great but it was fun. This time around the controls are fine, the setting is more modern day with a number of driving segments that are pretty good, and this time there are three protagonists (possibly the worst examples of law enforcement people) to choose from. Oh and pretty much all your enemies are gangsters.

The three main heroes, applying the law (of gravity) on a suspect.

Don't ask how the noose itself is just attached to the roof like that either!

The story is also way more adult with trips to nudie bars, and I don't think you can go ten steps without hearing one swear word or another. An added thing is that each protagonist has "secret agendas" of stealing documents, money, drugs, guns etc. per map and to be successful in doing so your two other team mates (death immune NPCs in solo play) must not be looking at you when doing it. This is also the only way to gain EXP to unlock more weapons. Yep, killing armies of Cartel guys gives nothing - only theft does!

Alas the "choosing" of protagonists makes the overall story kinda grindy. While the shooting part is serviceable, it's pretty monotonous once you've played 10 minutes of it. So before where the story was mission 1 as person A then mission 2 as person B, now to get the full plot you need to do Missions 1 - 15 as Persons A - C. You can see how that's a problem.

There's also not much point in unlocking weapons, firstly because you can simply loot the often better guns off your downed enemies and secondly bullets are pretty effective regardless of what weapon you use. A head shot from your starting equipment is as good as a headshot from end game equipment.

Over all it's a mostly functional, standard A to B shooter but not one that earns a recommendation from me. I give it one and a half Alamos out of five.

Watch Dogs: Beginner Tips

I thought I'd just put up six quick tips to help people survive ctOS Chicago in Watch Dogs.

1 - "Open your World"
Lots of your cooler and more useful skills will be locked until you complete the act one mission with this name, so unlike the Assassin's Creed series where you probably should do all the side stuff as soon as it becomes available, just power through the main story until you get to it (it's near the start) before doing any of the side missions.

2 - Silence is Golden
You can almost clear out an entire gang base if you use your silenced equipment (which mostly means the starter pistol at the beginning) and aim for the head, which always nets a kill unless you are shooting someone with a helmet. Civilians also have less chance to call the cops since they don't hear gunfire (unless you keep missing). Use focus once you've unlocked it to help steady your aim.

3 - The Destroyer of Criminal Convoys
Once you do enough criminal convoys (10 I think) you get to unlock this rifle (called "The Destroyer"). Choose those first 10 missions wisely as some are much harder than others but once this gun is in your hands none should pose a problem. One hit from a rifle disables a vehicle and since NPCs NEVER get into a car that they didn't start with it makes all the chase x person tasks much easier as you can force your prey to be on foot. A head shot from this will also kill the heavily armored guys, just aim for the goggle section. Once again, focus is your friend.

4 - Bad boys go to the beach, and sleep in their cars
The Chicago police are ridiculously aggressive, willing to kill bystanders to get to you. While unlocking your magical phone abilities to use the city infrastructure against them is certainly a good way to slow them down, an easier method is to head for the nearest marina and catch a boat since they are incredibly allergic to water and will not chase you there. The helicopters will, but your magic phone can disable them. And if they have snipers well, bullets (especially from the Destroyer) can help with that. If there are no boats nearby a good alternative is to use a blackout doohickey (or cause one the old fashioned way) then hide in your car, especially if you have the related bonus skill. I've managed to hide in the middle of a freeway, with a police cruiser right beside me. It looked at my smoking wreck of a vehicle for a bit then drove off. :P

5 - "Steal a Vehicle" contracts need Skill
The "steal a vehicle" fixer contracts were the hardest ones in the game for me, since you can't really get out of the car for longer than 20 seconds. You'll definitely want as many/all of your skills unlocked before attempting them, along with pockets full of consumable items. Being familiar with how various vehicles handle and the various short cuts and back road ramps as a player is also handy.

6 - Be Crafty
Crafting stuff is great, but since its a pain to go buy equipment or collect them it might help to know what stuff is used most (or at least, what stuff I used most). The number one item is: Jam Communications, followed by Blackout, followed by Focus pills. Frags and IEDs had some rare moments, mostly during campaign missions but I didn't really use any of the others so unless your play style widely varies from mine, save your resources! I found lures to be especially useless, but perhaps have some value to those who want a "no kill" play through (yeah, good luck with that).

That's it, hopefully it's of use to someone out there! :)

Watch Dogs

Where you play as a gun-toting wizard with a magical mobile phone.

Ubisoft has a thing for open world games, and in this one you get to explore modern day Chicago as a very flawed, hypocritical and ultimately boring murdere vigilante with a magical cell phone. This is to make up for his lack of parkour ability when compared to the other well known Ubisoft open world series: Assassin's Creed. The many nods to that game here are pretty funny.

The city is huge, and as expected there are a good number of mini-games to do and skills to unlock while exploring it. Fortunately getting around via train, car or boat is pretty easy once you get the hang of it - complete with a decent enough selection of radio music to listen to while traveling. Another thing to get a hang of is the magical phone which simply gives too much information on the many NPCs. You can turn off the profiler, but most/all the good things only happen when its up.

Doubles as a handy cultist finder!

While it is certainly an entertaining game (and possibly addictive if you like Grand Theft Auto type chaos) there are a number of things that I found annoying. First it's a soft game audio wise, I needed to turn up the volume a bit to hear anything. Also, the protagonist and most of the other characters (specifically those related to him) are morons. I guess it runs in the family? Some tasks fail because you killed the main target, despite killing all his henchmen, some civilians and possibly some police officers in the process, while others it's ok to just go on a killing spree? 

Also half the missions are working as the exact type of person the protagonist is supposed to hate (killers), but if you want total completion then... oh well? There's also one part where you run the same map three or so times (because plot device), when really if you just did the "third" time first it would have saved everyone a lot of trouble. At least the difficulty (on Realistic anyway) is good, but there's just something lacking. A likable protagonist maybe? I didn't really give a crap about him or his feelings throughout the entire game.

The game is alright for one ride but pretty much becomes "meh" soon after the first act. I give it two and a half stolen cars out of five. If you want an open world title where you actually care for the protagonist, try Assassin's Creed: Black Flag instead. Edward Kenway is awesome.

The End-Times: Surrounded by the Dead

[This is part of The End-Times (Project Zomboid) story.]

Nick Hernandez, Construction Worker
Only by the grace of God am I still alive. Twice I had already been saved yesterday. Most of the zombies I had been fighting ran off to chase a speeding police car. Then, while resting in the evening I awoke in a sweat to one of the putas breaking in through the window to my bedroom! I killed him but broke my holy plank in the process. I know this is the word of God, telling me to move on. As if by fate I found a frying pan labelled "Jesus" which I now wield in his holy name. I don't have many resources other than this, so I will have to scrounge the nearby area for supplies and a suitable new home. I know that God will provide.

Earl Parker, Unemployed
Ohhh yeah... this is the life! Now where did I put that beer?

Shaun Jones, Security Guard (beginner)
Tired. So tired. I can't believe the rail tracks went nowhere. Now I'm following this long... endless road. Heard lots of gun shots followed by a woman's scream from the nearby forest, so I don't dare to stop. With this heat it is no surprise my water is running low. It would be ironic to die from something other than zombies in a zombie apocalypse. They're still around, but very few out here where I am passing. Easy enough to evade, and those that come close I put down with the old homestar runner.

The baseball bat, not the character.

Jennifer Reed, Police Officer (last stand)
I thought I could lose them by turning off the sirens in the forest, but it seems they've followed me all the way to the hunting cabin. I hear them all around and with night falling fast all I can do is get all my weapons ready and hold them off for as long... something is at the door. They're here!

...

Pistol's out of ammo ... there's more coming from the tree line... Shotgun was taking them down in groups but that's out of ammo too, I'm running for the kitchen to get a knife! Killed two more but they've cornered me in the attic, and I'm stabbing as many as I can while they come up the stairs...

Shit! The knife broke! Running to the nearby window and hopping out to the roof below. The bastards are still chasing me! I've got to jump down into... there's a sea of them down there! What do I do? I need to... Aaaaaaaahhhh!

*Zombie behind her pushes her off the roof into the mass of groaning flesh eaters below*

[Dead: Wave 7 - 83 zombies killed.]

Chuck Gray, Angry Fireman
Unbelievable. My AC unit doesn't work and the temperature is just rising. I've also somehow eaten all my food and read all those books I was reserving. What the hell is taking the army so long in getting this mess cleaned up? I'm going to have to risk sneaking to the next house. Damn, it's locked up tight. Hey, what's that sound? A helicopter!?

"HEY! OVER HERE! HEYYYYYY!"

Are they blind!? I'll run out into the open so they see me!

"OVER HERE YOU PIECES OF SHIT!"

I can't believe they are flying away. What bastards! They didn't even see when I threw those pots and pans at their helicopter! And... what's all the moaning around me? Oh. Great. Zombies. FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU....

[Dead: 2 Days 3 Hrs]