Spider-Noir, Harley Quinn and Kite Man

A trio of alternate superhero shows!

Spider-Noir

This currently single season story has Nicolas Cage star as a 1930's private detective who also moonlights as "The Spider", their version of Spiderman - and guess what? When you have a good story, good characters and good acting you get a good result! Without a doubt this is now our favorite version of Spiderman. On Prime you even have the option to watch in in black and white if you want. Highly recommended and hope they make a season two!

Harley Quinn (and Kite Man, Hell Yeah!)

This currently five season animated comedy features the titular Harley Quinn who starts off breaking up with Joker and then forming her own gang. A lot of the laughs come from the irreverent way it treats the whole cast, with many extras dying gruesome deaths, but it can quickly get abrasive if that's not your sort of thing. Definitely shines brighter in the earlier seasons than the later ones. 

Kite Man, Hell Yeah is a currently one season spin off from Harley Quinn and follows the adventures of the guy whose power is he has a kite? It has the same tone too so if you like the main show you'd probably like it.

Jack Ryan: Ghost War and Punisher: One Last Kill

When you need gun action!

Jack Ryan: Ghost War

This flick continues on from the series and finds a retired Jack Ryan (still played by John Krasinki) being roped back into what's supposed to be an easy mission "to meet a guy", but its never that simple. Chase scenes and combat sequences shortly follow but plot wise I can't help but think that Jack was only required for the second half or last third of the movie, as it looked like all the other characters had it handled - even the comedy relief guy? My overall feeling is that unfortunately, the movie is weak. :(

Punisher: One Last Kill

This episode length special continues its series, starring Jon Bernthal as Frank Castle now better known as the titular vigilante. In it, it explores what happens when Frank's killed everyone he's wanted to kill and goes too deep in his own head. But don't worry! Bad guys are stupid and by the second half he is back to ruthlessly executing the hordes of scum that decide to take him on. For its length and given it works as a standalone, it's super entertaining! Recommended! :) 

As a bonus for other gun nuts, here's a review of the Zev FDP gun... which turns out to not be so practical. 

Wonder Man and a Knight of the Seven Kingdoms

Two TV series that aren't like their predecessors?

Wonder Man

This eight episode Marvel superhero show is one that doesn't really focus on good versus evil, so if you're expecting the standard beat-em up you'll likely be disappointed. Instead, it follows struggling actor Simon Williams (awesomely played by Yahya Abdul-Mateen II) try out for his dream role of the titular Wonder Man while hiding his often troublesome powers. Opposite him is Trevor Slattery (portrayed by the fantastic Ben Kingsley) who takes more of a mentor type role while still somewhat haunted by his "terrorist" past (from Iron Man 3). So yes, quite different and also very good.

A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms (Season 1)

This currently one season show set in the Game of Thrones universe follows hedge knight Ser Duncan the Tall (played by Peter Claffey) as he tries to find honorable knightly work after the knight he was squiring for died. It's comedic and quite entertaining, especially with scene stealer Egg (played by Dexter Sol Ansell) though there are gross bits too - hey, still has to be Game of Thrones right? At six episodes it feels pretty short but at least there's no filler to be had here. Recommended and we're looking forward to season two!

Ironheart and the Eyes of Wakanda

Continuations of Wakanda...

Ironheart

This six episode series focuses on who I currently believe is the worst hero to date. Riri Williams (played by Dominique Thorne) is a girl genius who rivals Tony Stark's tech using what is basically salvage and has already had some "hero experience" abroad, but upon coming home she just can't help herself and her need for money. To this end she does illegal stuff just short of becoming a ho and joins a gang of crooks and ends up accidentally making the most annoying AI person available but then is unable to operate without said AI person. Maybe she grows/arcs out of it.... nope! She's still the same selfish ass hat at the end of the series. Weak acting doesn't really help the case. Not recommended. 

Eyes of Wakanda

This animated series with four episodes is much better than the above, despite the "kiddy" style art the stories and violence within are quite enjoyable as we follow various Wakandan spies out in the world throughout many points in history - usually trying to retrieve their own tech that's gotten out in the world. Short enough to be worth a try. :)

Fantastic Four: First Steps and Thunderbolts*

A pair of Marvel movies.

Fantastic Four: First Steps

In a world where the future feels very much like the Jetsons, established super heroes and planetary defenders the Fantastic Four (this time led by Pedro Pascal as Reed Richards) face a pair of unexpected events: the impeding arrival of world eater Galactus, and having a baby. Alas, the script makes it that not all Four get an equal amount of importance - this mission could have been done with just three.

The bad part of being established heroes means there are lots of public speaking / speaking to the crowd parts but good CGI and some nice action pieces keep the story moving. While there are similarities to the Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (2007) there are enough differences to make it unique. Alas overall, its still a pretty average movie. 

Thunderbolts*

When a group of individual black ops operatives from various sources (with a focus on Florence Pugh's Black Widow) are sent into a trap, they end up forming a team that reluctantly saves the day. Outside the decent plot, humor and action pieces the movie explores depression which is different for a superhero flick. Despite that the acting, story and overall tone are still vastly more enjoyable than Fantastic Four: First steps above. Thumbs up!

Madame Web and Kraven the Hunter

Movies where death unlocks super powers?

Madame Web

When paramedic Cassandra Webb (played by Dakota Johnson) starts getting glimpses of the future (thanks to a bite from a magical spider), she ends up trying to save some future female spider women from an evil spider man. This is definitely a strange one with "girl power" motif plot holes, passing the stupid ball around aplenty while having decent action segments and showing that before Peter Parker was spider man, everyone else was spider man!

The amount of time it takes for our heroine to work out her own powers is hilarious which subsequently heads into the WTF territory when she becomes OP (girl power yo) and the bad guy becomes comic relief due to the amount of times he fails. I still found it entertaining, but maybe that's because I had set my expectations bar really low. :P  

Kraven the Hunter

This movie focuses on the bane of poachers and bad guys in general - Kraven the Hunter (played by Aaron Taylor-Johnson), who is gifted (thanks to a bite from a magical lion) with super strength, super speed and super luck that all the gun toting enemies are terrible shots. 

As it is an origin story one fourth of the movie is spent in a flash back while the rest is so oddly paced and has scenes that have no purpose other than extending the run time. At least the action bits are pretty nice and the CGI animals are ok (but clearly a step down from the SFX of other Marvel movies) but some of the acting is... not great.  

Ultimately I think I enjoyed Madame Web more, which is not a good sign for this flick. 

Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning and Captain America: Brave New World

A pair of action movies!

Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning

With the world facing a new threat Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise, still in good running form) is deployed again to do the impossible... defeat AI? Yep. Decent humor and action scenes (except one sword / knife fight with too much slash grappling instead of stabbing) can be found here, and an alright story to boot. I'm glad they dialed down the "this is what we hope will happen" scenes this time around and all up I do think its a stronger story than the previous one, but while it has all the necessary story arcs it certainly is still a "Part I", as it clearly warns in the title sequence. :P

Captain America: Brave New World

With the world powers in a race to claim the resources (adamantium, said to be better than the Wakandan's vibranium) from the newly risen Celestial Island (from the Eternals), new-ish Captain America Sam Wilson (played by Anthony Mackie) becomes tangled in a plot to try keep the peace. Much like the audience he's very self aware that he's not a super soldier, and humorously that Ant-Man kicked his butt that one time. Despite having improved shielding thanks to Wakandan tech his survival in this movie is more dependent on his plot armor and reliance on bad guys missing completely or definitely hitting the center of his shield with bullets. Better than I thought it would be, but still only recommended if you are an Anthony Mackie fan.

Deadpool & Wolverine and Dune: Part 2

Sequels to good movies!

Deadpool & Wolverine

After an encounter with the TVA who reveal his universe is going to end due to the lack of an anchor being, a retired Wade Wilson (played by Ryan Reynolds) goes off to find a replacement Wolverine (Hugh Jackman). Shenanigans ensue with numerous cameos and jokes that hopefully people still get many years from now. As usual its very rude, quite funny to the point of ridiculousness, and action packed using the tried and true "if nothing funny or emotional is happening, a fight breaks out" technique. Recommended if you are a fan of Ryan's Deadpool and/or Hugh's Wolverine. On the flip side, if you disliked any of the previous Deadpool movies you will definitely not like this one too. :P

Dune: Part 2

Hiding with the desert folk after the destruction of his house, Paul Atredies (played by Timothée Chalamet) learns their ways while also having a vision that specifically tries to avoid. But no, his allies convince him to do the thing anyway and then possibly get upset after he does the thing that he warned them he didn't want to do. Really though, most of this 2 hour and 46 minute film is an absolute snooze fest. Visually nice if you can stay awake, but really they needed to cut off some fat from the run time. Easiest one is the whole bit where group A ambushes a harvester, killing their guards and then use a long ranged rocket to destroy the machine. Five seconds later, they just use a long ranged rocked to destroy the next machine. Did we really need that previous prolonged action scene? Nope. Does it change anything that they destroyed the harvester? Nope. Do I recommend this movie? Nope.

Avengers: Old Guard

[Part of Superhero Stories]

When Barton and Romanoff kicked open the doors to the main lab, they got the drop on MODOK, the Abomination and lead AIM scientist Monica Rappacini sometimes known as the Scientist Supreme. Clint immediately put one bullet in the oversized head and two in the tiny body of the Mechanized Organism Designed Only For Killing, which put an end to this over rated villain while Natasha gracefully dodged the charge of the Abomination while sticking him with a small round adhesive disc.

He's a pretty big target.

"Courtesy of Hank Pym," she said calmly while she pressed a trigger button in her gauntlet which instantly shrunk the Abomination to ant size, but due to his lack of a protective suit - he was squished into a piece of mushy flesh. Before she could enjoy the justice she doled out for Kate and Kamala, Dr. Rappacini had suddenly crossed the chamber in the blink of an eye and jabbed the Russian with a syringe.

"NO!" yelled Clint as he made a desperate lunge for Monica and her belt that most obviously housed the Tesseract on its buckle - the gem giving her the ability to teleport. He succeeded, and despite Monica warping back the distance she came from - his grip ensured he went with her. Without hesitation he grasped the Tesseract and yanked it out, burning his hand in the process. "Stop! You don't know what..." Monica began but Clint didn't care.

With the Cosmic Cube under his control he warped both of them to the only place that would stop the Scientist Supreme for good: inside the gem itself. By breaking the already fragile physics of teleportation by putting the Tesseract into itself the pair of them and the gem included imploded upon themselves with loud and sickening cracks as they folded into each other repeatedly into smaller and smaller portions until they were completely erased from existence.

Meanwhile Natasha had fallen to all fours, crying out in agony as she felt her insides melt while managing to read the label on the discarded syringe used on her: "Polonium+". As if it needed the extra plus she thought to herself. With the last of her willpower she threw out a few more small explosives just like the ones she had been setting on the way down here, and then she pressed the trigger to detonate.

Avengers: Powerless

[Part of Superhero Stories]

Advanced Idea Mechanics, the same group currently waging war against Wakanda. What were they doing having a hidden outpost right in the middle of the city and why did this information come from digital data pulled from a lone arrow near the crashed Helicarrier? Natasha Romanoff's questions would soon be answered as she casually made her way right past security under the guise of a lowly laborer. Hawkeye had been missing off comms for awhile now, could he be in here somewhere?

A quick side step down an unpatrolled corridor she wasn't meant to be in and a flash of a security card she had lifted from the goon outside was all it took to find her answers. There in an isolated cage was her friend - Hawkeye, beaten and broken. He had a clear line of sight to the tables against the opposite wall atop which were the stripped corpses of the Winter Soldier, Kamala Khan, Kate Bishop and what was left of Captain America. Quickly composing herself, Natasha forced herself forward to unlock his cell as she whispered a reassuring "Let's get you out of here."

"Nat? Is that you?" Barton said weakly. "I failed them Nat. I failed them. I... I told MODOK how to open the Tesseract box." Romanoff looked at him in disbelief as he continued. "Yeah. They pried it from T'challa's cold dead fingers, but they couldn't open it... not until I... I told them how. They used Steve's hand Nat. Only four people could open that box and they... they..."

"Then we'd better go get it back," Natasha said sternly as she offered Clint one of her Glock 26s. With an exchange of silent nods, Hawkeye took the firearm and followed her lead deeper into the facility. 

He's always happy to see her.

Avengers: New Blood

[Part of Superhero Stories]

"Thanks for coming with me Kate," said Kamala over her shoulder as the pair made their way through the wreck of the crashed helicarrier. "Oh please, I'm pretty much an Avenger already," replied Kate, composite bow at the ready just like how her mentor, Clint Barton (aka Hawkeye) taught her. All her gusto left as the pair made their way past the next bulkhead to the twisted center of the wreck and came across the corpse of the Winter Soldier. While Kamala instinctively covered her nose, Kate grit her teeth and searched his pockets to find any sort of clue as to why he was here in the first place.

She had just bagged a small phone when she heard Kamala tearfully gasp "Oh my god." She was staring at the shattered shield of Captain America, still connected to his bloody dismembered arm. "Your god can't hear you," laughed a menacing deep voice as the opposite end of the wreck suddenly bent apart - revealing the Abomination as he stepped into their space and addressed Kate directly. "Give me what you took little thief!"

"RUN!" yelled Kate as she bolted back the way they came with Kamala close behind but their monstrous foe was gaining on them. At a T-junction the Abomination had to pause and rub his eyes as he saw two Kate Bishops run in opposite directions so he charged headlong after one of them and cornered her in a dead end... only to then see this Kate transform back into Kamala. "Oh you're good..." he grinned as he cracked his knuckles. "Good is not a thing you are. It's a thing you do," she replied defiantly.

Outside, Kate fired a special arrow containing the bagged device far away with a tracker for any Avenger or SHIELD agent to recover, then hastily made her way back to find her friend but it was too late. "Give me a real fight!" challenged the Abomination as he casually tossed Kamala's battered and bloody corpse aside. Kate drew her bow and fired... and it did not go well for her either.

Based on the official stats from the Marvel website.

Midnight Suns: The Big D

[Part of Superhero Stories]

The creepy castle was right where Deadpool said it would be, and while Blade was slightly disappointed that the merc gave the information freely he was still surprised by the sight he beheld as soon as he stepped inside. Hemalisks, bulky table sized egg sacs that these vampires hatch from, littered the main hall between which patrolled a good number of the already hatched blood suckers. Upon the throne sat a dark skinned beauty with long white hair who was instantly recognizable apart from the blood red color in her eyes that carefully followed the daywalker's every move.

"I heard the X-men are having it rough these days since the passing of Professor Xavier," Blade said loudly, "but it looks like you went straight to the bottom of the barrel, Storm. What's the matter? Needed to find a new daddy with a big 'D' to teach you how to suck?"

"My master Dracula will be most pleased when I bring him your head," she replied angrily as she rose into the air. "Storm is dead. I have been reborn as Bloodstorm!"

Don't ask how she spawns those Hemalisks...
Also I'm surprised Dracula does exist in the Marvel Universe!

Blade quickly dodged to to the side as she began sending tornadoes at him, destroying many of the Hemalisks and vampires as they gave chase. The ones missed by the tornadoes were caught by the vampire hunter's sword and glaive. Bloodstorm hissed as she changed strategy and nailed Blade with a lightning strike, sending him crashing into the throne. His response was to visibly click a detonator in his hand which triggered all the bombs he had been throwing near the supporting pillars during their clash.

As the entire structure began to shake, Bloodstorm glanced up briefly with worry. This distraction is all the time Blade needed to quickly boost forward and drive a stake into her heart as the castle started to crumble all around him. A harshly whispered "You lose bitch," was the last thing Bloodstorm heard as she died.  

Confident that the destruction would flatten all the remaining hemalisks and vampires, Blade sheathed his weapons, adjusted his shades, and calmly walked out the front door over Bloodstorm's ashes.

Midnight Suns: Sticky Fingers

[Part of Superhero Stories]

Hearing his name spoken in a heavy, threatening manner Dr. Morbius groggily opened his eyes to find he was still bleeding out on the floor of his secret underground laboratory. A vampire, bleeding out? The irony wasn't lost on him as he recognized the figure looming above him. "Just my luck that the daywalker finds me today," he spat. "Why were these other vampires attacking you?" questioned Blade menacingly.

"They weren't the problem," Morbius replied weakly while gesturing to a number of mangled vampire corpses strewn about the place. "It was that arsehole mercenary who took my freshly made sunlight vial... can you believe he actually tried to finish me off with a steak?" he chuckled, the rotting ribeye still next to him. Blade wasn't in the mood for laughs and picked him up by his collar with one hand. "You were making a serum to let vampires walk in the sun!?"

"Couldn't let you have all the fun could I?" Morbius could barely finish grinning before Blade beheaded him to finish him off for good. The daywalker then used his keen sense of smell and incredible speed to track down this merc who as it turns out, hadn't gone very far yet as he was sauntering down a narrow alley in his red spandex. "Hey, ass-clown!" called Blade with his weapons drawn. Deadpool turned around in surprise. "Blade!? I didn't know you did compliments!"

Swords, guns and leather. They've got a lot in common.

"Hand over the sunlight vial now," hissed the vampire hunter as he pointed his Uzi at Wade. "You mean this little thing?" taunted the mercenary as he pulled out a yellow looking vial to display. "Nuh uh, I'm not..." before Deadpool could finish that sentence the vial broke as Blade shot it out of his hand, peppering Deadpool's arm with bullets. "Oh you've done it now," grumbled the merc as he drew his own two blades and charged. "And if this idiot typing the story knows anything at all, its that you have no chance against... WHAT THE F...!?"

Deadpool's movement and train of thought was interrupted as he was covered in a sticky white substance. "Oh, its WEB. Phew, I thought this was going someplace totally different for a second there..." exhaled Wade as he harmlessly fell over and Spiderman descended while hanging upside down behind the daywalker. "I had him," grumbled Blade angrily, causing Parker to apologetically keep quiet after a weak "I'm sorry..?"

Blade didn't hear it. Instead he turned back to the helpless Deadpool while cracking his knuckles. "Now you're going to tell me all about your employer..." 

Midnight Suns: Coming Doom

[Part of Superhero Stories]

By the time Blade, Illyana Rasputin and Nico Minoru found Tony Stark's body, the sun had set and the battle was long over. Screams and a familiar scent from below caught the Daywalker's attention. "Vampires," he muttered to his companions, clearly eager to do his job. "Go get them dude," approved Nico, the defacto leader of their little Midnight Suns group. "Illyana and I have got this." With a nod, Blade put on his shades and leapt off the building.

"I didn't know he could fly," said Nico in disbelief. "He can't," replied Illyana cooly. "I just opened a gate for him over the edge to help him land safely. Now are we going to get the name or what?"

Game wise Nico starts pretty weak where as Magik is consistently strong.

Nico nodded. Due to the Darkhold seemingly always falling into evil hands there was a fail safe: the final page was ripped out and given to a guardian care taker whose name only two people knew: the sorcerer supreme Doctor Strange, of whom nothing was left, and Tony Stark. "Who has the final page of the Darkhold?" she asked Tony's corpse, followed by planting her Staff of One between them like a microphone. "ANSWER!" she commanded. In a sickly fashion Tony's corpse opened its eyes and responded with a whispered "Johnny Blaze" before being still once more.

"Looks like we're going to the circus," said Illyana non-nonchalantly as she used her sword to open a portal there and right into danger. The Quentin Carnival was already on fire and Johnny - an ex-Ghost Rider - was already having the Darkhold's final page extracted from his body by Wanda/Lilith herself, guarded by a mind controlled green giant who angrily looked their way. "HULK SMASH!" he yelled but before he could do anything, Nico used her staff once more. "SLEEP!" Overcome by the magic, the brute transformed back into Doctor Bruce Banner and collapsed limply at Wanda's feet, just as she finished retrieving the page from Johnny's fried corpse.

Not wasting a beat Illyana then warped herself right beside Wanda and stabbed through the Darkhold right into her with a special dagger. "It's made from a piece the dark god you were trying to summon," she explained with a wry smile to the perplexed villain. "You little bi.." started Wanda as she grabbed hold of Illyana's arm. Suddenly the space around the Darkhold warped, sucking in Wanda, Illyana, Johnny's corpse and the sleeping Doctor Banner into it. "NO!" screamed Nico as she moved forward to the book but suddenly took a bullet to the head, killing her instantly.

"Amateurs," spat Doctor Doom dismissively as he calmly holstered his Mauser pistol and picked up the Darkhold. Everything was going according to plan.

Midnight Suns: For the Mother

[Part of Superhero Stories]

"Impossible," muttered Doctor Strange as he fell to his knees on the marble tiles of his Sanctorum, a gaping bloody hole through his chest. "Foolish sorcerer supreme," taunted Wanda as she gently floated towards him, clutching the Darkhold in one hand with her eyes glowing an unnatural hue of green. "I am Wanda no longer! You now face Lilith, the mother of demons!" With a horrible realization Doctor Strange screamed as he let loose one final spell that exploded into a swarm of butterflies.

"For the Mother!" screamed a mind-controlled Hydra soldier as he foolishly charged Iron Man with a stun baton, only to be blasted off the roof of the Avengers tower. "Where is Hydra getting all these clowns?" asked Tony over the comms as he continued to blast more Hydra soldiers away while launching rockets at the helicopters that were taking turns in either dropping off more troops or firing directly at him. In the distance he spotted "the Chimera" a SHIELD helicarrier also under Hydra assault when suddenly it exploded in a massive green cloud that fell upon the city. Tony Stark had to take a moment watching that, fighting every urge to go help as he knew he couldn't leave the Avenger's tower defenseless. "Jarvis, please tell me there are survivors!"

But it wasn't Jarvis who replied, instead it was Doctor Bruce Banner: "Tony, the Sanctum is gone." This had to be some terrible nightmare - who on Earth could take down the Avengers so easily? As usual Tony moved quickly from panic to shoveling blame barking "Where are you Bruce!? Things are falling apart over here and you're god knows where not even helping!" as he continued to battle the seemingly endless Hydra soldiers who seemed determined to simply overwhelm him with numbers.
 
"I am helping! I'm quite surprised your password for everything is still 'I AM IRONMAN' though," replied Banner. Suddenly the kill switch in the Iron Man suit activated and the armor self-stripped from the billionaire just as more Hydra troopers arrived with assault rifles drawn, mortally wounding him under a hail of gunfire. Collapsed in a pool of his own blood, Tony could only ask one thing as Hydra forces moved in to finish him off... "why?" Banner replied coldly. "For the Mother."

Bullets work just fine if he doesn't have his armor.

The New Mutants (Movie), Freshly Frosted & Redout II

A throwaway trio.

The New Mutants (Movie)

Taking place almost exclusively in a facility where (very few) teenagers have just begun manifesting their mutant powers, the teens begin experiencing their worst fears after their newest arrival. This might work for a standard horror but since it's X-men based its very hard to be scared for them as they each have freaking supernatural abilities to defend themselves. Outside of the very brief moments where they do, the rest of the film feels really slow which is bad given it's only got a 1.5 hour runtime. There are ways to have made this scarier and better, but this end result is not something I'd recommend watching.

Freshly Frosted

One of the strangest production line building puzzle games given that its just someone imagining it while staring at the clouds, I do like the simplicity of at least the first few levels especially since its all just about laying conveyor belts with super easy controls and nothing else. Very chill too, but obviously I'd prefer to be eating donuts than playing this. :P

Redout II

This futuristic roller coaster racer is the improved version of Redout as it now offers training courses, a campaign and competitive head to head racing against up to 12 players online. Obviously still not for me as I'm terrible at racing games and am still confused at the difference between turn and strafe and the combinations of the two, but I do like that they removed the explodey "temp death" for the virtual training tracks at least.

Guardians of the Galaxy: The Split

[Part of Superhero Stories]

The trip back to their unofficial headquarters at Knowhere (a colonized severed head of a giant Celestial floating in space) was a quiet one with Gamora upset at the loss of Nebula, Peter upset at the loss of Drax, Rocket upset at the loss of the treasure and Groot saddened by the state of the team. As soon as they landed, Gamora was the first one off with all her things slung over her shoulder and Peter not far behind, chasing her.

"I want nothing more to do with any of you!" she yelled angrily behind her, but Peter wouldn't be dissuaded so she turned around to look him in the eyes. "I'm joining the ravagers. Goodbye Peter, next time warm your bed with the rodent!"

"Yeah, that ain't happening Quill," piped in Rocket having over heard from the base of the gangway.

"Rocket, just wait for me while I talk some sense into Gamora OK?"

Rocket nodded and gave Peter the thumbs up, and as soon as he was two hundred meters away immediately pulled Groot back into the Milano and took off. "See you never, suckers!" Rocket yelled as he could see Peter mouthing "Oh, come on!" below. "I am Groot?" asked his tree friend. "Well, he's the one who said he'd give me the ship okay? Besides maybe we can form our own Guardians or maybe just do some bounty hunting again for a bit like we used to? I've got just the mark too - just look at him: 'Doctor Spectrum', what a joke. All I see is an easy payday!"

This does not go well for Rocket and Groot.

Back on Knowhere Peter found himself drinking alone a bar having been abandoned by his friends. "What happened Peter Quill? You smell so sad," came a familiar voice echoing in his head as a cold nose nuzzled his hand. Peter looked down to see Cosmo the space golden retriever-labrador looking up at him inquisitively. "I screwed up," Peter sighed. "I was thinking maybe I should take a break and head back to Earth. Maybe my life wouldn't be so messed up right now if I was there."

Cosmo's tail wagged slowly as the dog's voice once again came through telepathically. "I'm not so sure about that. The grass isn't always greener on the other side, da?" Peter couldn't help but pet the good dog on the head.

Guardians of the Galaxy: Table Turning

[Part of Superhero Stories]

With the cup artifact now in his hands, Peter listened closely to Nebula. "You need to put it on that circular altar in the center of the room, and if you turn it right it powers up the artifact. If you turn it left, it will destroy the artifact."

"It's too powerful for anyone to have. We should destroy it," advised Gamora, who was backed by an "I am Groot".

"No, we should use it to revive my family," countered Drax. "And my friends," continued Rocket. "And ... even your mom, Peter."

Peter thought about it for a moment then put it on the altar. "I'm with Rocket and Drax, we can really make use of this," and turned the artifact causing it to begin to shake, crack and glow. "Peter! What did you do!?" yelped a dismayed Rocket. "I turned it to the right! Wait... was it your right or my right?" At this moment the Kree main force arrived, blasting away with their rifles and damaging Peter's jet boots and hitting Nebula multiple times as she moved forward to shield her sister.

Mid-fight the very ground began to shake violently as the cup artifact exploded into tiny pieces, encouraging the remaining Kree forces to flee. "Earthquake!?" yelled Peter. "Unlikely, as we are not on Earth," replied Drax from behind cover. With no feasible exit for the team, Groot encapsulated them all with his branches to cover them as the very floor gave way sending them falling to some large tunnels below and right into the nest of some voracious tunnel worms!

Telltale's delisted game didn't have the best graphics but it was OK.

With an endless assault of the monsters it was clear they needed to get moving, but Gamora wouldn't leave the already expired Nebula's side. "Gamora! She's dead weight, you gotta leave her!" yelled Rocket as he blasted away another batch of worms just as his gun jammed. With little time to let her process her feelings, Peter decided to give an order: "Groot, carry Gamora!" The tree obliged, gently taking the furious assassin into a basket cage on his back while Peter picked up Rocket who was too slow with his little legs.

While it looked like they were making some distance from the little worms, the sudden roar of a huge mother worm alerted them to the new threat that they couldn't outrun. "Oh flark, we're not gonna make it!" cried Rocket as Drax decided to turn around. "Drax, what are you doing?" asked Peter as he ran past him. "I will cherish the time we had, Peter Quill." With both blades out and not looking back Drax leaped at the mother worm with a mighty yell as it came around a corner, knocking it and himself off into a deep and seemingly bottomless abyss.

Guardians of the Galaxy: Holy Grail

[Part of Superhero Stories]

"Guardians of the Galaxy," crackled a transmission on the comms as the Milano's engine's suddenly came back online. "This is Nova Corps, we require assistance and have remotely deactivated your engine disabler. Please respond." Peter stuck his head out of his room and called out "Rocket! You hearing this?"

"Yup! We're all systems go. I say we flark off and leave those cops to whatever trouble they're in; serves em right for keeping us adrift for a week!"

"No, we need to go help them," demanded Gamora as she left Peter's room wearing only his blanket, much to Peter's chagrin. "What?" she asked him defiantly, "It's not like they don't know what we were doing." Without looking up from the book he was reading Drax, lounging on the couch, agreed. "Indeed, we could all hear Peter Quill's squeals the entire week. He was very loud." Groot nodded with a smile.

Quill, you lucky dog.

"Send us your coordinates and we'll be right there," Gamora said into the comm link, having shoved Rocket away and in no time at all the Milano was touching down outside an abandoned temple on a dusty barren planet - remnants of Nova Corp ships and corpses of troopers littering the surroundings and the interior. "Sheesh, it doesn't look like it went well for the Nova Corps," said Rocket, stating the obvious as he kicked one of the bodies.

They followed some dusty stairs down to what looked like a treasure vault, still literred with gems and baubles with a squad of Kree infiltrators standing guard. The Kree opened fire immediately but they were no match for the combined skills of the Guardians of the Galaxy (especially as they had just finished fighting the Nova Corps guardsmen) and as Gamora moved to take care of the last hostile she stopped mid-swing. "Nebula? What are you doing here?"  

"I was hired as a translator for ancient Kree. The pay is good," she responded cooly. "Are you going to raise your weapon and fight us with honor now or stab us in the back later?" asked Drax gruffly. "The pay isn't that good," Nebula replied with one eyebrow raised. "You need to hurry though, their main force will be here soon to retrieve this," holding up a strange cup-like artifact. "Oh yeah? What's it supposed to do?" asked Rocket.

"According to the text, it can raise the dead."

Guardians of the Galaxy: Dead in Space

[Part of Superhero Stories]

"Look whose come crawling back to us," grumbled Rocket having watched the latest transaction take place. Groot, as always, was far more welcoming - offering a beaming smile and a wave as Peter made his way to them. "Guys, I'm sorry," said Peter earnestly. "I could really use your help." Rocket waved him off. "It's always 'I'm sorry, I'm sorry' - until you screw everything up again! What makes you think we're even going to help you this time?"

"Because I'm going to give you the ship." Rocket's ears perked up at this. "No kidding? What do you need?"

By the time the Milano returned to the Nova Corps cruiser there was there was a sizeable fleet around it but none of them stopped what they assumed was more worshipers on the pilgrimage to their new god. With Quill flanked by Groot and Rocket, they walked like the other converted did - a bluff that fooled almost all onlookers until they reached the old man with the worm. "Halt," said a familiar muscular form that blocked their path. "We come to join the promise," Peter said. "I hear your lies, Peter Quill," grumbled Drax as he unsheathed his blades.

"It's pronounced Star-Lord," said Peter as he used his jet boots to hop up and let Groot's roots grab Drax by surprise to toss him into the crowd where Rocket began launching smoke grenades. The old man lifted his robotic arms to fight back when suddenly a blade sliced right through his head, causing his limp body to collapse to the floor. "Gamora?" asked Peter joyfully. "A good assassin waits for their moment to strike," she replied with a smile. Peter couldn't enjoy it though as the black space worm angrily raised itself behind her. Boosting forward he grabbed the burning gem from what was left of the old man's head and rammed it straight into the dark creature before it could strike Gamora from behind, somehow sealing it back into the stone.

Some really good graphics in this game!

With it gone, all those previously mind controlled by it were suddenly released again - the only damage a brief headache. "We need to get rid of that thing," said Gamora as she wiped the blood off her blade. Peter agreed, "I know just the place." With that, the stone was unceremoniously dropped on the dead planet of Vormir where no one would ever think to look for it.

"So uh, when are does this ship become my ship?" asked Rocket as Peter took the captain's chair once again. "Uh... soon!?" was all Peter could come up with. At that moment, the engines suddenly cut out leaving them drifting in space. "Peter Quill, did you forget to pay off the Nova Corps fine?" asked Drax much to the groans of all on board.