Pathfinder: The Headless Child

[Part of the Party Time journal]

Following the voice the party comes across a chapel to Lamashtu (again?) within which are the four remaining missing people from Sandpoint: the adults tied to stakes and blades rigged with ropes being held up by the young boy Dario who looks like somethings been munching on pieces of him, missing an arm among other things. A laughing evil voice asks which one they want to save and Valeros uses his helm of teleportation to get right in there only to find it is mostly an illusion conjured by two half lion lamias! The first one smashes him decently while the second bites off and devours Dario's head, who alas, was not an illusion. 

The Lamia's mirror images are really the only thing keeping them safe as once those are removed they fall quickly, with the last one trying to retreat but being blocked by Kyra's wall of stone while Merisiel backstabs it to death. A patrol of four giant guards then storms in from behind them but Valeros' flame thrower and Razmus critical hammer blows erase them from existence before they can do much. 

After looting they proceed towards the next roaring sound they hear and find a pair of chained young red dragons who demand to be let free so they can eat the humans. Ezren responds by dropping an ice storm and cloud kill on them, and they respond by breathing fire which Merisiel dodges completely while Kyra heals those who don't. Shoanti archery and Valeros' dragon slaying blade end the weakened winged lizards soon after letting the team proceed around the corner to the prisoner preparation chamber where they find the remaining trio of tortured Sandpoint prisoners chained. 

A massive giant springs from hiding from the mud, smacking Merisiel hard but is taken down in one round with a combination of Joe Gang and Shay's archery and Ezren finally landing an empowered disintegrate spell. After freeing the captives and resting again they receive a magic message to meet with Conna at a nearby altar where she reveals that she's delivered the forged orders and advises them that the password for the shining door probably lies in the black tower above. She also mentions the giant defenders are massing a defense at the ramp though, and offers to try keep the prisoners (including the beardless dwarves) safe and hidden. 

How to Train your Dragon (2025)

Just like the original, but in live action.

The viking village of Berk suffers from constant attacks from dragons, and the chief's un-viking-like teenage son Hiccup (played by Mason Thames) in trying to please his dad ends up changing the relationship between two races. Right off the bat yes, this story is almost exactly the same as the original animated version: a well written heart warming fantasy adventure with good action sequences mixed in with funny segments. The awesome soundtrack makes a return here as well!

While some of the human cast doesn't quite match their animated counterparts in looks, they certainly do fit their roles nicely. Highly recommended if you haven't seen the original. And even if you have you'll still probably enjoy this like we did, which is great because if they want to continue the live action route there's certainly a lot of material already out there they can revisit. :) 

Risk: Elder Scrolls V - Skyrim

Here's a cut throat competitive game for 2-5 players that I originally just got awhile ago because I like all things "Skyrim" but haven't had a group to play it with until now. So, first of all it is RISK. A game of putting little figures on a map and then moving said little figures into territories of your frenemies to do some dice battle in a bid for map-wide domination.

Dice determines a lot of things here like who goes first and who survives combat. After "spawning" the map with your little dudes each player can then invade sending up to three of them into neighboring hostile territory (and some neighbors are connected by daedric portals). Attackers roll a dice per dude they sent while the defenders can defend with up to two. Compare the highest die pairs with defenders winning ties and remove the losing pieces. Then if there are still defenders, continue the dice rolling fest!

So far that's just regular Risk on a Skyrim map. What makes it more Skyrim though is that each faction has a hero and each turn other than gaining reinforcements you gain magicka which lets you buy and cast spells (all one shot) or buy important objective cards. You start with two of these and at the end of your turn if you've completed one you announce it and gain the indicated victory points. First to 10 wins, which is a lot faster than map-wide domination. For ridiculous hi jinks you can also shuffle in the "End of Game" card in the reward pile that people draw from if they won any territory on their turn.

Heroes are pretty tough with 10 HP each but they can only move where you have a little dude, and while enemy little dudes can attack them they can only defend against the little dudes (even if they were invading). Attack or defend, heroes always use max dice. Wait, if heroes can only defend against little dudes what do they attack? Other heroes (and heroes slain by other heroes get all their gear [you can buy armor and weapons too] taken by the victor).

Heroes can also fight dragons. There are four that randomly spawn at the start of the game and no little dudes can enter their territory without a hero to try slay the dragon. Dragons also have 10 HP and will only ever defend. Killing one grants the victorious hero a powerful dragon shout that they can use once per turn like, convince enemy little guy to become your little guy or Fus Ro Dah all enemy little guys out of a territory! 

Alas the rules need some interpretation and I house ruled only three invasions per turn to keep turns shorter and have each player engaged (which also invalidated at least two objective cards as they needed 4 and 6 successful invasions respectively). The VP win condition thankfully makes the game more manageable but it still took 4 of us maybe three and a half hours to finish. 

Better than I thought it would be, but it still doesn't beat El Grande or the always excellent and fast paced Lords of Waterdeep. 

Elden Ring: Dragon ahead

[Part of my Elden Ring journal]

Returning to the back exit of Ancient Dragon-Man's hole (yeah, that sounded bad), I find a bunch of ghostflame dragons to slay and an injured dragon hunter named Igon who wants vengeance upon someone called Bayle. I soon learn from a nearby dragon priestess who has setup up shop beside the corpse of a gigantic dragon, that Bayle is the forefather of ancient dragons and lives atop the stormy mountain I'm climbing. She also wants him dead and gives me a blessing from her lord Plasidusax (who I've also killed).

I get side tracked a little with the gorgeous scenery and end up fighting a demi-human queen (lure and kill), a giant death rite bird (weak to holy club) and then fall in the Lamenter's gaol (easy fight as the idiot relies on mirror images to make up for his lack of HP) before finally making my way up the scary mountain where I encounter the ancient lightning dragon Senessax who is ridiculously strong but I can run past, followed by Bayle the Dread himself at the mountain summit who has no problems smashing me into paste.

So much fire!

Alas, it is finally time to switch from the great club to... Ancient Dragon-Man's dragon-hunter's great katana! This thing is amazing, and with my mimic and Igon's archery Bayle is taken down - but he manages to finish off Igon. Senessax turns out to be a more challenging fight because he's sitting in a lake which conducts his electricity so there's a lot of horseback jumping involved over numerous attempts before the ancient dragon is defeated. I may have also accidentally killed the Dragon Priestess by giving her a drink bottle from Thollier... oops?

Elden Ring: Try looking away

[Part of my Elden Ring journal]

Unlike the slow stone smiths there are occasionally these spry birdmen assassins that jump out and do capoeira at me, and after beating the third or so (they are paper DPSsers), I meet the final member of Leda's team: a weak and soft spoken chemist named Thollier who sells poisons. On the cliffside path beyond Ancient Dragon-Man invades (and is promptly slain lol). Seriously? "Ancient Dragon-Man"? Could have been worse I suppose. Still remember that guy from Knight Online named "Warm Dragon Piss". 

The mimic tear still rocks!

A dungeon beyond him that features his return as the boss (LOL) opens a path to some jagged mountains but I opt to go another way first to Castle Ensis, guarded by an armored giant! But these are like the ones I've killed before so he's no problem, and neither are the soldiers and casters I sneak up upon. The Carian Knight Moonrithyll IS a problem though as she is super aggressive so I have a fun time running away from her until I reach the next camp site... then I go back and kill her. Fights go very differently if I can open with a sneak attack!

The actual boss of the castle is a dual sword wielder of no importance because she has absolutely no chance against me and Needle Knight Leda, and beating her opens up the next zone... with an even bigger castle in the distance. LOL. I take a detour first to try get a map fragment but fail since it is not in the valley I thought it was and instead end up facing off against a death knight in his crypt. Too bad for him he's weak to my holy great club. No idea why the club is holy, it just is. I'm now level 165.

Elden Ring: Be wary of laggardly sort

[Part of my Elden Ring journal]

At the Belurat Tower Settlement I meet some insectoid foes namely the fly men who have a really annoying grab attack, and the terrifying but actually easy to slay scorpion spiders, because regular scorpions and spiders aren't bad enough! The shady villagers are also keen ambushers but thanks to all the signs left by other tarnisheds I basically have a heads up for any and all ambushes en route to the top of the place where I meet the big boss of the area: a lion dancer? WTF? Anyway, Freyja and I put an end to him easily but the next tower up is sealed by "shadow" so that's the cue to head off and explore again.

Below the settlement is the gaol full of Jar men and folks in various stages of Jar-manism. It isn't pretty. For some reason the boss down here is an agile goblin who is easily slain, just like the ghostflame dragon at the lake outside. I also locate what seems to be a wolf cave but at the lowest level is an entire church of Bloodfiends! This is where I learn the value of a bow (I just use the pulley bow) to annoy one of them at a time to lure and kill which is a super handy strategy since many things fall for it!

After slaying their chieftain boss I locate an ancient forge, being fought over by soldiers and Bloodfiends, that is home to easily smashed lava eles and super tough but also incredibly slow stone smiths. These forge dungeons are really cool as there's no boss in them, just a set of puzzles (and dodging the smiths) to get to the "final forge" to retrieve high level crafting stuff. Less fighting, more thumbs up!

It's faster just to side step these lumbering golem smiths.

Synced Century: Age of Ashes Maid of Sker

Another trio of epic games.

Synced

This futuristic shooter that involves nanites reviving the dead and somehow using one zombie as your ally actually has no future any more. Outside of the tutorial I wasn't able to create a character as the servers are shutting down on September 9 2024. Just wasn't cool enough I suppose?

Century: Age of Ashes

Of the dragon flight simulators (or large avian flight simulators) that I've played this one certainly is up there in terms of graphics as well as having an easy control scheme. Of course, it also stands apart in being purely a team versus team arena albeit with various missions while killing each other, and dragon collection and customization on the side. A little slow to load up but pretty quick to find matches so thumbs up for that too. Alas, I'm not into PvP so its not for me but its definitely worth checking out.

Maid of Sker

In this first person horror sneaker you must make your way through a creepy hotel to save your girl, and while there are heavy Resident Evil vibes with the hotel's structure and map (but not enemies) it plays more like Thief in that you must sneak past everything (though there is an alternate "escape the hotel" mode where you get weapons and can just fight your way out like a horror shooter). Because all the enemies are blind and only work using their hearing, sneaking is super effective but your character happens to be a moron who has a penchant for ringing bells, answering telephones and coughing at the worst time which is a negative for me. Oddly there's a "safe mode" that removes all enemy threats but still can creep you out with many jump scares if you just want to enjoy the pretty decent story. Thumbs up!

Dragonheir: Sailing Away

[Part of the Cursed story line.] 

Getting to season two for this game is a unique process where people who have "finished" all the content of season one at the allotted time are whisked away into a new server and are rewarded currencies based on how well the did in their previous season (and there are apparently four seasons of this now). 

While you keep all your RNGesus picked companions, all of them and your main character are back to level one with no gear so that you can grind up once more not only by doing the new stuff which involves saving an island of elves from some frisky sahaugin merlings but also by returning to the mainland to grind previously cleared combat zones which now feature different (and much harder) challenges. The elemental pairs also rotate to keep you on your toes which means my main party changed to be Fire Main / Horrus / Journ / Ripekas / and Estella for some heals.

The actual season one end boss is an illithid dragon?

The restarting thing is a bit annoying but could have been ok if the leveling back up was done better or differently (which I believe is something they mentioned in their road map). Not that it matters though as the game just issued a "Termination of Service for the US Region" for sometime in September, furthering angering the players who have paid real money on the game (already angry since the pay to win stuff they bought doesn't carry over to this season). This supposedly ties into USA's ban of Tiktok, as the company that owns Tiktok just bought Dragonheir and have a dispute with some US laws. I guess its best to bury this one now

Dragonheir: Elemental 100

[Part of the Cursed story line.] 

I failed to mention last time that there's a new camp mechanic where you can send up to three heroes for training, and they just gain XP per second which certainly helps in the grinding. You still need to grind for the materials to unlock higher levels though, and since the underground enemies are starting to get really tough I decided its time to farm for those big crystals in the three elemental zones - the level 100 version of them to at least gain 1 of the big elemental crystals per run (but supplementing with little ones at a 10:1 ratio).

Frost Lady Glacia (100) is easily handled by Fire main (100 back) / Heksandra (90 back) / Garius (90 mid) / Horrus (90 front) / and Eli (83 back). The double heals from Heksandra and Garius plus Horrus taunt and damage reduction are pretty good, and ranger Eli is an ok damage dealer but probably needs to be switched out for a better substitute at some point. The Lightning Dragon (100) I can handle with Fire main (100 back) / Voresh (90 back) / Ripekas (90 back) / Horrus (90 front) / Lucien (90 front). Lucien (the legendary elf) is not a strong a tank as Horrus or Garius, but his abilities to start everyone with a shield and freezing flank are pretty handy.

She seems like something that came from Elden Ring.

That just leaves the Lady of Flame (100) and honestly, I didn't have a team that could beat her reliably until I maxed out Garius (100). With him backed by Voresh (90) / Zhar'loth (90) / Ripekas (90) / Lucien (90) I could finally make some headway here. If you are wondering why you'd want to level up more than just your main party, this section of the quest answers that by introducing TEAM battles. Much like the team arena, I now need to send more than one squad into each battle and heroes can't be deployed more than once - and if one team fails their fight, your entire squad fails!

Since this zone is asking for two squads my line ups are Fire main (100)/ Zhar'loth (97) / Voresh (96) / Garius (100)/ Lucien (90) and Horrus (90) / Ripekas (99) / Sutha (95) / Heksandra (90) / Usha (90). Sutha the legendary orc berserker hits decently hard and fast, but she's nowhere as tanky as she looks. However, since I got a duplicate Sutha I wanted to try her out. You see, when you pull duplicate heroes of the lower tiers you just get some item refinement currency instead but for a duplicate legendary hero, they get a boost which seems to improve them by 8% each time (up to five times if you get that many duplicates). Alternatively, you can use dupes to buy legendary rank artifacts from the shop!

Dragonheir: Fey Dragon

[Part of the Cursed story line.]

What's there to do when you run out of "stamina" to grind you might ask? Well, you can try your hand at Fey Meander which is basically fight 6 groups of this level bad guys, go to next level and do it again with a tough poison boss maiden every 5 levels - or you can challenge NPCs in town to fight which is pretty neat (and recommended). Lastly you can try do the main quest which this time saw me beating a green dragon! Woo! And you can repeat this fight every week. Typical. 

Gitouna, Garius and Usha doing some dragon hunting!

Of course you can also try the arena, which gives you a choice of three other player parties to fight and up to 5 rerolls if none of them are to your liking. My best strategy here is the usual D&D one: only pick on people lower level than you for the best chance of success, but even then the parties with legendary heroes (whom I have none of currently) or parties with better composition will kick your ass. In particular Horrus the dwarf tank (who I did get but never used) is a menace if paired with Heksandra and/or Sigrid the blonde short bow archer girl (she prevents your from healing). Basically if I see her and Horrus I skip unless I've many levels higher! :P

Also note your ranking will drop naturally as other people beat your party too and you won't find out about it until you return to the arena. Anyway, with the dragon dead it seems I've finished another chapter and now can go to the adjoining land which is under an orc invasion... or not because the orcs are super high level which means its back to grinding for me!

Blades in the Dark: Knowledge Eater

[Part of the Party Time journal]

Accused of being responsible for the death of first clarinetist, Kenny V, the butcher Coran arrives and asks that the team hide and look after his pack of death dogs implicated in the brutally violent crime. Juris immediately accepts, hiding them out at Fogcrest at Silkshore while spending a lot of time recovering from his trauma of using the hand of Kotar. Also murdered was DL's medic friend, Ferny Sawbones, so he heads to Charhollow to find out more and meets Matt the information trader, paying some coin to learn that Kenny V was dispatched by conductor Maestro Helleren who "isn't what he seems" and Ferny was done in by bounty hunters who are based in Nightmarket, which is where mom and Rose are headed!

The girls finally reach Nightmarket (no carriages anymore) and encounter a shear wielding female ghost whom they dispatch before reaching the club where the orphans are meant to be, meeting the upper class lords and ladies there but are told they can only see the kids in the morning and accept the offer to stay the night. DL arrives later, fighting past the same ghost again and then getting locked out of the club tower as the bounty hunting "Wraiths" arrive to get him. Jokes on them though, as mom snipes them from the tower before they can do anything!

DL is welcomed in and they are all hidden from the Spirit Wardens that come to investigate. Meanwhile Juris, still at Silkshore, goes to the Silver Stag casino to look into rumors of a demon of greed. It turns out to just be a gambler and ghost pair of Earnest and Bertrand cheating at cards. He outs them to the manager, Helene, and is disappointed he didn't find another demon cat before heading back to base.

The next morning they ALL awake at base with DL, Rose and mom unaware of how they got there. Also, they apparently brought a painting of a huge dragon back and hung it up in the orphanage's main hall!? Concerned, they all go back to the club and Juris with his new skill of being able to identify any supernatural entity quickly discovers one of the patrons, Lord Mora, is a knowledge eating demon and that the orphans have been eaten too. Rose manages to command the rest of the club into a trance like state while the team battles Lord Mora who is immune to Juris' ghosts and takes the hits from Juris' lightning, mom's rifle, and DL's special dragon sword which he finished building.

The fight is long but Mora can't land many hits especially after she tells him that he can't move (only works on his feet). Eventually the demon is slain and after retrieving a tongue artifact (the tongue of Kotar, lets you speak to anything) they hastily return to their own district where a horrible spirit aura now emanates from the orphanage. The dragon in the painting is gone but they destroy the frame and base anyway. Four Spirit Wardens then arrive to help them deal with the threat which has moved underground to eat the ghosts there (and thereby make itself stronger). It manages to damage two Spirit Wardens, who as they guessed are hulls themselves, but is otherwise easily captured and destroyed by the high tier visitors. For this heroic action the district is well and truly behind the vigilantes now.

Drifting Dragons and Castlevania: Nocturne

A pair of animes with great art.

Drifting Dragons (Season 1)

In a world where dragons are just wild animals people have taken to dirigible "draking" (whaling) ships to hunt them. This one season story follows the crew of one such vessel and their trials not only against their prey, but also against the ship's budget and occasionally each other. There's also a lot of focus given to the butchering of said dragons followed by strangely specific cooking and eating sequences that involve dragon parts that have convinced me the dragons there taste great most of the time! The series starts of slow and gives almost all the crew on the draking ship some screen time and by the end it was getting some good emotional payoffs. That said I am not sure how some of these people haven't died a few times over already but I guess it's just not that sort of anime. Recommended if you don't mind a slow burn with very little thinking.

Castlevania: Nocturne (Season 1)

Set hundreds of years after the first series this one continues with the excellent art style and action pieces of its predecessor while introducing a new band of heroes to face off against more vampires and creatures of darkness. Getting used to the new protagonist might take some time, especially since his will and power levels fluctuate wildly over the course of the series and the main villain seems super bland when they appear because of the "they are in the background, so lets develop all the lieutenants instead" approach. 

Lastly wokeness seems to really be the theme inserted here with a true rainbow cast of characters and nary a weak female with a speaking role in sight. Alas, with all those powers combined that leaves this first season in a pretty weak state. Hopefully season two can bring out the big guns and focus more on a good plot rather than real life politics. (Spoiler: season two is much better)

Decluttering Day 9: Four broken umbrellas.

Elden Ring: Offer introspection

[Part of my Elden Ring journal]

Following the kill list leads to some pretty interesting discoveries, such as bosses that only appear at night like Nazgul Night Cavalry, Skull Birds and Darth Vader the Bell Bearing Hunter who turns out to be my final and most difficult quarry. Even the tricksy crypt dungeons and ancient dragons are easier than the last iteration of that guy, mainly because I can't use my mimic summon to help me out. Instead I used bewitching branches to get some of those oversized rats to do the dirty work for me.

You know it's bad when they can hold lightning.

I'm surprised good old Patches is on the list too, but he's obviously been murdered by highwaymen by the time I eventually find him, just like Corhyn the priest whose gear I find just outside the capital. I find some new people too, a giant lady that Latenna saves in the snowfield, a rookie finger maiden who I eventually lead to immolation (oops) and an ugly monkey tailor who wishes to be human. I help him rebirth via Renalla (yeah, ew) which works... and also results in him dying because this is Elden Ring and people just die for no reason.

Anyway, with all the bosses finally crossed off I'm content to call this adventure done and return to where Ranni awaits to begin our journey to the stars. That was a crazy experience but one I definitely enjoyed and one I hope was entertaining for you to read! Elden Ring, complete!

Elden Ring: I did it!

[Part of my Elden Ring journal]

Harpies and fungus folk live in the tree house village but again, I have rooftops and shortcuts that I can use to dodge most of them and then absolutely cream the mounted knight who is guarding the fortress below. Like her, the footmen and knights here are easy enough to handle unless they come in huge groups and at the very bottom towards the roots of the tree I come across the boss of this zone - Malenia, the blade of Miquella. She likes saying that a lot. After killing me. LOL.

I'm guessing she got a bit chopped up by Radahn?

Her floaty agility and fast strikes which heal her make her somewhat troublesome, and I really laugh that her phase two is basically her just getting naked! Ultimately my mimic and I win after around the same number of tries as Radagon via just great clubbing her around because she's very weak to staggering. The great club's in built special: Golden Land, which shoots rays of staggering light also helps keep her off balance.

At this point I was going to claim victory, until I went and looked up the Elden Wiki and found more than a few boss things that I missed, including the Black Knife leader who is pretty deadly until I realize he's just like a jedi - useless against enemies who have high ground and a two headed dragon sleeping within the tornado of the floating ruin! That one takes a few tries (less than Malenia/Radagon) because of his dual laser breath and penchant to teleport but eventually I club that fool to ash as well!

Elden Ring: Didn't expect weak foe

[Part of my Elden Ring journal]

Despite killing Morgott the way to the tree is still blocked by... thorns. Erm. Yes, because there's nothing as solid as a wall of thorns in this world I guess? Melina suggests we travel East to get a great flame to torch these magical thorns and so after sneaking through the other half of the capital we exit there and find a grand elevator up to the snowfield of giants. This is mostly an open area where I can dash past things on my horse so that's really neat! I do beat up an ice dragon and the next Volcano Manor target: a tough whip slinging knight.

Taking a small break to report this success, Lady Tanith finally lets me meet Lord Rykard who is a gigantic lava snake. Ironically, there's a magnificent serpent slaying spear ripe for the taking just before him and so my mimic and I use it to go to town on this hapless lord. His death breaks the morale of the Volcano Manor members and they all go their separate ways.

Easiest boss fight if you pick up the weapon right before him.
Sadly, it's only this powerful in this one fight!

As for me its back to the snowfield ascent where I slay an ambusher (a samurai that aided me against Radahn) before reaching a section full of dead giants! Fortunately these are actually just dead, because there is a single "alive" giant that stands in the way and is a real pain to defeat! In the end I had to swap out my mimic summon for Latenna, an archer summon I had met earlier back at the lakes district to help here. Since she can't walk, she's basically a turret while I take aggro and she proves excellent in dispatching the giant. Just for kicks, I quickly warp back to the Southern castle and find Crucible Knight back in his boss zone after he left Volcano Manor. Using the same strategy with Latenna, this slow heavy hitter has no chance!

Elden Ring: Seek hole, and then edge

[Part of my Elden Ring journal]

Of course I hop into the coffin which turns out to be a magical lift (wut) that takes me to the roots of the giant tree and is home to giant flying ants and headless ghost knights. I also find free hug Fia here who makes me slay five other warriors including a mage friend of D and a fat armored fencer who helped me against Radahn! After I win she begs for death but since she's technically helping me remove the competition to become and Elden lord I spare her.

As that's a dead end I check in with Iji who drops a hint about where Ranni has gone to - a tower near her own. Inside I find a lift deep down into an ant hive where I find Ranni discarded among some garbage. I pick her up and defeat the traitorous half-wolf Blaidd then continue down past a "drow" city complete with BS sentient boulders then through a lake of rot (no horse this time - yuck!) past an ancient temple of bug men and defeat a horrid giant skull-faced dragonfly.

Beyond that is a lift to a plateau where I get a rematch against magic dragon Adula, killing it this time, and then finding a more appropriate doll for Ranni to inhabit. She is super greatful and recognizes me as her lord. I like the sound of that! Using this inspiration I return to the capital and defeat Volcano Manor targets Wilhelm and Vagran with the help of Volcano Knight Bernahl, and then crush King Morgott with Melina and my mimic!

She's a creepy doll.

Elden Ring: Praise the lift

[Part of my Elden Ring journal]

With Stormveil conquered I revisit some sites that I felt I could handle now, killing Alduin Agheel the lake dragon, scaring off the magic dragon Adula (similar moveset), then slaying the giant slumbering dragon (tail whacking), some catacomb bosses and a magma wyrm nesting in a mine! I also light the towers of spirit mage town which undoes the magic barriers and lets me cure Millicent of the plague. This is the same girl that previously invaded me and lost an arm. Maybe there's hope for her yet?

I then try the South Castle, as random people keep telling me of a festival happening there but everyone must be lying. I have to skirt through siege artillery and sneak around the back wall to gain entrance while avoiding as many magic weapon wielding knights (and the two massive lions in the courtyard) as I can. This eventually brings me to battle against the Crucible Knight who starts out as a slow and steady heavy hitter then progresses to an airborne speedy heavy hitter. LOL I have no chance against this guy yet so I decide to warp back to the lake mire for exploration.

I'm quite enjoying the dragon fights!

Here I meet a turtle pope, the dragon Smaug Smarag who has the same move set as Agheel so is easily beaten, and the barbarianess Nepheli who helps me slay a half giant but refuses the potion Seluvis wanted delivered to her. I also finally find a path to the part of the map I've been trying to get to, by hopping down a cliff face of giant tomb stones. Only when I get there do I realize that there was ramp access past a spot I'd been in previously, and I now have the key to the magic lock on the bridge that also leads there. Even better, the road leads to some sort of gigantic lift which I can activate because apparently I found stuff for it previously and finally arrive at the Altus plateau. Servant girl Rya is waiting for me here, and offers a free warp to Volcano Manor. Sure!

Elden Ring: Let there be monarch

[Part of my Elden Ring journal]

Beyond that handsy manor is a cliff face that doesn't get me closer to where I was trying to go, but I do find the tower of doll witch Ranni who recruits me into her team investigating the treasure of Nokron City, which includes Iji, Blaidd and the sorcerer Seluvis. A quick warp back to ghost viking land lets me meet Blaidd there, but he has no idea how to get to the higher city. This time around I have stonesword keys though and I can activate the elevator to the North! This takes me up to...

What the hell, I'm back in plagueville? A narrow golem guarded valley only leads to the local PvP coliseum so I go the other way and find myself back in the horrible plaguelake. This time I fight a slow moving knight commander though, after I find out the nearby geysers can really damage him. Turns out to be a super easy job and I never even have to attack him directly! My reward for this a clue to the secret of ghost magician town: Lighting fires. Seems there's always fires to light...

Godrick the Grafted is good at lighting fires...

It's also worth noting that the soldiers here in plagueville actually have a base - a huge castle at the South most end. I opt not to raid that one though, as the "main quest" I'm supposed to be doing is raiding Stormveil Castle, which I've been so deftly avoiding until now. Using my mount to deftly skip the blockade defenses I beat up the towering gate guard with a rotten dog summon (my spare if I ran out of FP to summon ghost viking), and then sneak my way through most of the place until I find and slay the Grafted Lord who rules over it. My ghost viking was very helpful here! The Roundtable Hold members rejoice at this news and let me meet their "god", a literal silent two finger giant but basically I get "good job, now kill another lord". Lol.

Elden Ring: Be wary of fingers all the more giant

[Part of my Elden Ring journal]

After all my dragon dodging I decide to check how bad the dragon at the starting lake is. The answer is pretty bad because he flies A LOT. I instead continue past him through a narrow ravine that leads to a deep mine and a stone mining troll which I defeat! Yay for the poise breaking damage of this large club!

This turns out to be good practice as when I return to the watery bog when trying to follow a treasure map I also defeat a troll knight, and Edgar who is now on revenge mode so I have to kill him. Unlocking one teleporter spire I am also brought back to the very start of the game and defeat the spider person that serves as the first battle. It's quite the sense of accomplishment! Continuing on I meet a friendly troll, Iji, who tells me to stay away from a cursed manor up ahead. Naturally this means I go right for it, evading the magical rain defending it.

Easy to dodge via serpentine pathing.

It's much worse inside though, as giant, spider-like hands lie in ambush everywhere so I just scoot past to the higher floors which are more manageable as they are only guarded by spirits. Their boss, a spirit lady on a spirit horse has me at a disadvantage since I cannot mount up to fight her but between my club and my spectral viking buddy we take her down just the same. As for why I'm doing this? I'm really trying to get to the top and top right sector of the map since it seems everything is blocking my way in that direction.

Elden Ring: Why is it always undead? Therefore try undead

[Part of my Elden Ring journal]

Returning to the Roundtable Hold from that venture at Castle Morne, I discover it's not such a safe place after all having to defeat invaders Ensha and Alberich. Lucky there are helpful people too, like lady Fia who gives free hugs, Corhyn the priest, Roderika the rookie spirit-hewer (whom I recruited to come here actually), Hewg the enslaved blacksmith, and vampire hunter D undead hunter D, who tells me that to slay undead, you have to slay them. While they're dead. Translation: those respawning skels don't respawn if you smash their "corpses" before respawning.

I also buy a spirit calling bell which is amazing as I can now summon my own ghostly viking sniper who is super effective in helping me smash some undead including a cemetery shade and a boatman which D is particularly pleased with. He suggests I visit a beast cleric in a spot I hadn't reached yet, so off I go and find I need to double jump with my mount to get from plagueville into dragon land!? I obviously just run from the winged reptiles until I reach some trapped goblin ruins (the teleporting boulders are particularly funny) and meet with this cleric - but he just wants me to keep bringing him pieces of the dead to eat.

Ghost versus spirit!

Reverse scouting through the dragon territory lets me find a ruined fortress (beyond a GIANT dragon) that is now home to big bats and ghosts, neither of whom are very good defenders which lets me loot the place easily. I then warp back to the first fort I skipped and wipe it out too, as having a spirit helper really makes things go much smoother.