TESO: New Life Unlock

Adventures of Skyrim - spoilers ahead! You can follow the rest of the story here!

For some reason Friede's words "Thy place of belonging" kept ringing in my mind and with the Fire Keeper's help I used my significant soul fire to teleport me somewhere closer to home.

I awoke in a very weakened state in the familiar landscape of Coldharbour. Lucky for me not five minutes goes by before a towering Nord lady named Lyris frees me from my cell, informing me that my current undeath condition was caused by some scum named Mannimarco. With no intention of keeping the silence this time, I took great pleasure in eviscerating all the dremora in the way to our escape route: another prisoner called "the Prophet".

I can still backstab with a two handed sword!

The old guy manages to open a portal back to Tamriel for us, but thanks to Molag Bal's interference Lyris doesn't escape. Just want to note that it is fortunate the Prophet's portal opened over the sea because it was pretty high up! I washed ashore on a snowy little island called Bleakrock and was soon conscripted by the local Dunmer She-Captain into gathering all the townsfolk for an emergency evacuation since Covenant warships were spotted headed this way.

Despite the "rush" I happen to come across a friendly Argonian He Alve who teaches me the art of lock picking, which is now a simple mini game. Simple when someone explains it anyway! Just push down on each tumbler and let go when it starts to shake. More importantly just -remember- when it starts to shake so your second attempt will always work. After this two minute crash course, I've not failed any. Thank you He Alve!

Dark Souls III: Fireproof

Tales from Dark Souls - spoilers ahead! You can follow the rest of the story here!

It sure takes awhile to burn alive...

Turns out being an "Ashen One" has made me more fire proof than I realized, and as the flames subside I can tell that the first flame still hasn't been linked. Well, that's just great. I return to Firelink in hopes of answers, but instead find that the now sighted Firekeeper is still eager for the flames to die and that the cleric Irina is now not only blind but cannot feel anything either - a prisoner in her own body thanks to the dark tomes I had given her. She asks for death. I grant it.

Upon asking around about the whereabouts of her companion, the gargoyle helmed Eygon, it is Melentia the hag who gives me a lead - telling me that he had gone with Sirris had gone to face Holy Knight Hodrick at the Undead Settlement.

I go there to assist, scouring the area for them and soon find Eygon's corpse. Not so nearby is the mortally wounded Sirris who was triumphant against the Holy Knight who turned out to be her grandfather.

In our final conversation, I try to cheer her up saying she succeeded in her quest unlike me who failed quest to link the first flame. With her dying breath she tells me of another knight at the Cathedral of the Deep who might help.

Dark Souls III: Let there be Light

Tales from Dark Souls - spoilers ahead! You can follow the rest of the story here!

The flaming sword is familiar...

Being tasked with taking down gods is a pretty big leap, but fortunately I didn't have to do it alone. Upon entering the very empty, yet very beautiful area which was now the Kiln of the First Flame I was joined by Kallian of Carim and sunbros Sumrak 2005 and MoGG (players) to face the Soul of Cinder: an amalgamation of all those who had linked the flame before. This towering skeletal warrior had a variety of movesets but his phase two one was most familiar: Gwyn, complete with his two handed flaming sword.

Oh that can't be good...

Sumrak fell to the firey blade, as did Kallian who was air juggled to death (which is BS btw since it means you can't recover). The Cinderfella managed to do Gwyn's explosive grab on me a few times too, but with MoGG's help he was finally laid to rest. Thanks guys! Now the rest was up to me... I walked up to the first flame and saw the Firekeeper's summon sign next to it.

She had mentioned to call upon her to end the cycle of fire but as I said before - having seen first hand what that world would look like... no. I'd run away from this enough times now. Extending my hand, I linked the fire - which as expected... sets me on fire too. A heroic sacrifice to sustain the beauty of the world. I suppose a plateau of flowers and swords seems to be a fitting place to do it... and so ends my Dark Souls journey.

But does it really?

Dark Souls III: Oh Brother...

Tales from Dark Souls - spoilers ahead! You can follow the rest of the story here!

Harder than Ornstein and Smough.

It took a fair bit of effort to reach this boss room, but that's to be expected as the last lord soul is within reach. I found the sickly Prince Lothric waiting on his throne, but he wasn't going to do any fighting. He left that up to his much larger brother, Lorian who is a complete, teleporting, melee asskicker. Since this fight was killing me more than Ornstein and Smough I tried to summon help from players Turms, Gwyndolin and sunbro Cheshire Charr (go the GW2 reference!) who unfortunately could not enter the boss chamber. Thanks for trying guys!

Since it looked like I'd need to do this solo, I switched out my axe for Tsorig's Fume Greatsword - upgrading it fully for maximum reach and damage. It took a few attempt but finally, I slew Lorian! And then... Lothric teleports onto his back and ressurects him for phase 2... which now includes Lothric's many heatseeking, magic attacks. OMGWTFBBQ!?!

After quitting for a day, I decided to try enlist help again - this time from sunbros Yen Sid the mage and Tartarus the knight. This time they BOTH could enter, and we absolutely slammed the princely brothers into the dirt! Finally, all the lord souls were collected and back at Firelink Shrine the Firekeeper performed a ritual to take their flames (killing poor Ludeth) and pour them onto me - so that I may finally face the old gods of Lordran.

Best solution is again to bring numbers!

Dark Souls III: Archdragon Peak

Tales from Dark Souls - spoilers ahead! You can follow the rest of the story here!

Instead of pushing forward at the castle, I opt to take a detour to Irithyll - finding Greirat's corpse in the white spider sewers. Guess he's not as good a thief as he thought. Down in the dungeon I use the "path of the dragon" gesture at the "try gesture" cliff, and find myself transported to Archdragon Peak - a spectacular fortress which is home to the serpent men. And dragons. A big white one greets me just as I enter the main gate, and this becomes one of my favorite boss fights.

So cool...

Directly attacking it doesn't really get anywhere, but the boss zone is huge and encourages me to explore the serpent man buildings and parapets all while avoiding dragon fire - It's also handy that said dragon fire hits friend and foe alike! Eventually I reach a high scaffolding above the beast, and using a leaping attack one hit kills the winged reptile.

Worse adversaries wait beyond him though, such as rolling rock lizards and a fat wizard who summons invaders such as drake blood knights and a random purple guy named Ian who wears a big hat (player). I had no chance against that so it was back to ye olde running technique which actually got me to the next bonfire and to the next boss - a dragon riding king! Well. It looks more like a bird... A thunderbird? Fortunately I am assisted by sunbros Masu and (a male) Firekeeper (players) who clearly have done this before.

That's me getting impaled and electrocuted again...

Firekeeper dies in battle, but it still results in victory for me! As a bonus, I find Ornstein's old Dragonslayer armor afterwards and switch into it. Really, my old set was getting a bit stinky since there was nothing better to change to. I also upgrade my axe to maximum and am now at level 85.

Dark Souls III: A World without Fire

Tales from Dark Souls - spoilers ahead! You can follow the rest of the story here!

Beyond the daddy dragon was a tomb with a single snakeman who was easily killed. I learned the "path of the dragon" gesture on a corpse just passed him and had a pretty good idea where to try it too (since the corpses there were also in the same pose). The crypt gives way to a dark version of the starting graveyard zone. Only this one has no fire and is guarded by grave wardens and the invader Daughter of Crystal Kreimhild (I assume that's the Crystal Sage from before). She isn't too challenging as I just kick her off a cliff.

Rematch, Mr. Spear Guy?

The spear statue boss in this dark world is much stronger too, but fortunately I have both Bill the swordmaster and Agnon Rhyat (sunbro player) to assist - finally a coop player can enter the boss fog! Agnon falls in battle, but it is enough for me to learn the boss' moves and earn a victory. Thanks Agnon! In the dark version of Firelink shrine I also find eyes of a Firekeeper, and the sole inhabitant - the creepy hag lady - is here telling me to leave before the darkness takes me. Good suggestion.

I warp back to the regular Firelink Shrine and give the eyes to my regular Firekeeper. She says that it's forbidden but plugs them in anyway, then asks if I wish for a world without fire. Having seen exactly what "a world without fire" is I say no. This upsets her, and she asks that I slay her so that I can take the eyes away from her. Again I have to refuse her request and leave her to get used to seeing the world as it is.

That's got to be a safety issue...

PS. My graphics card finally surrendered and lowered the visuals so I could play without crashing. The quality of the screenies will suffer a bit as a result! :P

Dark Souls III: Not so Uplifting

Tales from Dark Souls - spoilers ahead! You can follow the rest of the story here!

With the uplifting turn of events last time, I return to the Pontiff's church and just try solo him to learn his moves. While I die a couple of times it finally dawns on me that his big movements and good range aren't very good against someone right up beside him. With that in mind, I lured him to the entry way which is slightly tighter than the rest of the area to prevent him moving "away", and caned his scrawny butt. Even his phantom perished due to the close quarters and the wide arc of my axe. Solo victory!

Where's your god now?

Beyond him was a plaza full of giants an a very familiar place in the distance, but before I could advance I was invaded by Asfdg (player) whom I caned, most likely because he was lagging. I didn't get to slay him though, that honor went to Catharina (player) of the Dark Moon who arrived to defend me. Basically she just did a final backstab to finish him off. Thanks Catharina and no hard feelings Asfdg. If it makes you feel better I was soon invaded by two more of Aldrich's Faithful (players) who slaughtered me.

I didn't really mind though because I was too much in shock of where I was running - Anor Londo! My suicide scouting run showed me where to go, and how to avoid the many Anor Londo knight archers on the rooftops (yep they paid homage to that), and soon I found myself if the old Darkmoon Tomb where Gwyndolin was before (apparently he's one of Aldrich's victims). Now all I find are the corpses of the Knight Firekeeper lady, a pilgrim, and Anri's corpse used in some sacrificial rite. So much for being uplifting.

That looks... fatal.

Dark Souls III: Unholy Ground

Tales from Dark Souls - spoilers ahead! You can follow the rest of the story here!

VICTORY!

After defeating the Abyss Watchers I was back in Firelink Shrine with enough souls for the Firekeeper to cure my dark sigil, so I did. Yuria was not pleased at this, saying I was a "false lord" and simply left. Eygon showed up in her place, though just to check on Irina. Ser Sad is also chattier than usual, telling me about the history of the Abyss Watchers and how they got corrupted by the very thing they defended against. He also speaks of another Lord of Cinder: Saint Aldrich, who was once just a simple cleric with a penchant for eating people. He gained a lot of power (and visavisfollowers) when he started eating gods though! I instantly thought of any chubby clerics I'd met in the past... no way, can't be him.

Since it was adventure time again, I then decided to face the Crystal Sage once more, this time while embered and with Eygon as my helper we smash him and his little mirror images. Past him was a pair of bandits and a hollow hunting party, and then the Cathedral of the Deep where I and am promptly invaded by Yorams (player). We had a good duel, complete with the exchanging of "welcome gestures", and for a change I'm pretty sure I had this guy - but our fight was cut short as Chara (player) of the Blue Sentinels arrived. I backed off and let the two duel with Chara eliminating Yorams without much incident. Thanks Chara, and good fight Yorams! :)

With the Cathedral doors locked, I explored the grounds in a lengthy detour through a graveyard with endless zombies and a challenging rooftop section with many midget assassin ambush spots. Inside it only gets worse as the midgets are reinforced by pretty tough evil paladins, and a pair of giants who guard the main, flooded hall. In one ominously large yet empty room I am also jumped by a terrifying spider monster who easily kills me in my panicked state - good thing I've found ways to open the shortcut doors back to that initial bonfire!

HOLY F@#K!

Dark Souls III: Watch This

Tales from Dark Souls - spoilers ahead! You can follow the rest of the story here!

Since I'm getting whooped on the field now, I return to Firelink Shrine to level up and more importantly, upgrade a second, regular axe which actually scales with my character's strength - which is something the Deep Axe doesn't do which means it is slowly getting eclipsed by it's regular cousin. Also, two new ladies were here. The first, Sirris of the Sunless Realms offered her aid on my quest, and the second - Yuria of Londor - stood over Yoel's corpse like a vulture, stating that I was their "Lord of Hollows" thanks to the Dark Sign Yoel had been giving me. What?

Yep, for every "free" level I've been getting these, more of the very thing I wanted to cure. Turns out the firekeeper can cure them, thanks to a firekeeper soul I found earlier, except it costs an exorbitant amount of souls. Should have guessed the free levels were too good to be true! Anyway, I purchase a braile tome from Yuria for Irina to read. She's blind too since she was in training to become a firekeeper.

These crystal lizards have grown pretty big. And pretty gymnastic.

I then get Sirris to help me slay another massive crystal lizard, and then return to face the Abyss Watchers with the help of BlackHand Gotthard (who looks a lot like an Abyss Watcher) and Londor Paleshade (a servant of Yuria). Gotthard falls in battle, and during phase 2 (with an entirely new lifebar), the power of all the Abyss Watchers fills him and we have to take him down. It is a long slog but since the Paleshade is pretty tough we beat him and I claim the first Lord soul!

Turns out he's prone to stun lock.

And then I put their collective severed heads on their allotted throne back at the Shrine. Do you expect anything less from Dark Souls? :P

Dark Souls III: And my axe!

Tales from Dark Souls - spoilers ahead! You can follow the rest of the story here!

Outside Firelink Shrine I found a half naked guy wielding a katana, and he manages to kill me off a cliff! I return immediately and return the favor. Unfortunately the door he guards is locked (man I miss the master key), so I have no choice but to use the shrine bonfire to warp myself up to the High Wall of Lothric. It's beautiful. And full of undead. The dead dragons on the parapet are a cool touch too... until I come across a live fire breathing one - followed by dangerous knights.

I'll get up there... much later.

In typical Joe fashion, I decided to try sprint past them, because whatever was beyond would be easier right? Lol. After a crazy run across rooftops and courtyards reached some giant doors and encountered... Battle cat! To no ones surprise, the creature tore me to ribbons (though I was surprised I got it to 50% health). Having not found a further bonfire I opted to do the grinding then, especially since I had a handy dragon to help me farm souls. He didn't really care what he was setting alight.

Couldn't get the dragon to torch battle cat. :(

First 20k went to the hag, for a key to the Firekeeper tower right behind the shrine. It took me awhile to actually find he damn thing, but I netted a useful Estus shard, silver cat ring (more souls per kill) and Estus ring (more HP per estus) from what turned out to be a crypt for dead firekeepers (and there were a lot). The grind then continued in the same spot, to level me up a bit, until I could actually sprint to the tower the dragon was sitting on top of. There I found a mimic which I masterfully slew (no damage), partially because it was like the Dark Souls "humanoid" type and not the Dark Souls II "silent hill" type. :P

Most importantly it dropped a really cool weapon: a deep axe, which more than doubled my current damage output. After successfully slaying the first "dangerous" knight with it, I knew right away that I could finally advance.

Dark Souls III: One Way or Another

Tales from Dark Souls - spoilers ahead! You can follow the rest of the story here!

After talking with Abbess Feeva it turns out that she knew of a place I could go to cure this curse, but since it was pretty far I'd need to be teleported via coffin to reach it. Using the same one I rode into the frigid outskirts she prepared a spell and I got in for a long nap. Too long I think, because when I emerged my armor was no longer black, instead it was a fully rusted grey and for some reason I was in a graveyard! I suppose my arsenal of weapons was also too much so I only had a long sword left for me by the Head of Vengarl.

It would suffice.

After dispatching the expected wandering hollows and an unexpected giant crystal lizard I found myself in a large plaza with a statue in the center. Like a moron, I pulled out the sword that was thrust into it, making it come to life. Fortunately my dodging skills had not rusted as much as my armor so I could take down the halberd statue on the first attempt. Beyond him lay a large structure, which had the familiar name of Firelink Shrine.

Just in case you thought you were somewhere else...

The blind firekeeper welcomed me "home", as did Ser Sad, Andre the Smith, and the merchant hag who now moonlights as a shrine handmaiden. Most interestingly, there are five humongous thrones here, one of which is occupied by a little man named Ludeth. Apparently he is a Lord of Cinder, the only one with balls enough to face his own demise to link the fire. The other four have gone missing, and to no ones surprise it's my job to bring them back - one way or another.