The Chess Campaign - Ground Zero

[Part of the Chess Campaign]

For those wondering why I'm even doing this, my cousin's son Josh is really into chess and is pretty good as is his grandpa Rick. While I know how the pieces move I have zero in context of planning or anything and historically have lost to pretty much everyone I play, unless they let me win, have a brain-fart, or are less patient than I am. I'm particularly scarred by playing against DL who enjoys ignoring my king and slaying every other piece on the board first before going for a checkmate (no surrendering allowed).

Anyway, thanks to Josh and Rick I learned a few things (because they decided to teach a little instead of just kicking my butt)!

1 - Don't bring out the queen early. I love bringing out my queen early! She also dies early, like after killing one pawn. LOL.
2 - "Develop" the bishops and knights - get them off the back line. I move pawns too much.
3 - Control the center of the board. That's a thing?
4 - En passant. I had a true WTF moment when Josh used this against me. If your pawn takes two steps (first move) and ends up BESIDE an enemy pawn it can immediately be eaten as if it was diagonally in front of it. I had to look up this term as I kept remembering it as "Ovaltine". :P

Armed with this new intel I decided to try play against some online chess AI on chess.com, and by default went against "Larry Fitzgerald Jr. (1250)". I didn't realize that number is their skill level, and got immediately thrashed as his queen broke through my front lines and went on a massacre. I lost in around 10 moves!

It's like this scene from Kill Bill, and my pieces were the ones wearing black!

Ok, time to look for the lowest ranked AI there... Martin (250).

Chernobylite: Sarcophagus

[Part of the Wasted Land story]

Igor stopped for a moment to admire the "sarcophagus" that now shielded the Chernobyl nuclear reactor number 4, but despite this a strange green mineral known as Chernobylite was still spreading throughout the zone which has attracted the attention of NAR troops who now controlled the site and for some reason have taken Igor's wife, Tatyana, hostage.

I'm still amazed how they got that on there (this is not an in game picture)

Under the cover of night Igor and his two allies Anton and Olivier barely mange to infiltrate the exterior portion of the plant when they are discovered by "the Black Stalker" who is ultra bullet resistant. This enemy breaks Ollie's arm and kills Anton with ease. With no choice but to abort the mission, Igor uses his portal gun (I assume kindly provided by one Dr. Rick Sanchez) to get himself and Ollie out of there.

Not about to give up just yet, the pair setup shop at a rundown warehouse that overlooks the entire zone around Chernobyl and Igor begins cleaning up and doing some minor base building (a major part of this game) to ensure all the base "stats" are at least in the neutral level.

Wildermyth: Lizard Wizard

[Part of the Cursed story line]

Emboldened by their new dragon "savior", whom a lizard wizard used magic on to speed up the hatchery and growth process, the lizard folk restart their raids in earnest - this time taking treasure to add to the dragon's hoard. Jainlof and his axe guard of Raine, Les and his brother Even help in keeping them at bay, while Rick and company make their way to the Mythic Canyon where they face the dragon in person!

It is a short scuffle before the dragon takes flight and flees against Rick's cheating ways, leaving the lizard wizard that raised him to cover his escape by collapsing the canyon on top of them all - flattening Tymric and the lizard wizard in the process.

The angry dragon then begins burning the land in fire at which point Rick nopes the hell out of there with his family using his portal gun (game wise they all aged out/retired), but not before leaving the Cocks some venom Beth milked from Jerry's scorpion appendage to give them a fighting chance.

Wildermyth: Circus Freak

[Part of the Cursed story line]

Stuff like this happens all the time.

Having armed his family with inappropriate weapons like futuristic bows, an oversized sword, and a usable scorpion tail that somehow attaches to Jerry's butt, Rick and the Cocks chase the lizard raiders to the borders of the lizard lands where they then use superior numbers to force the Cocks to flee - but not before they learn that the circus freak was some sort of lizard prince who was now being used to unite the lizard tribes.

Knowing war would soon be upon them, Trynne rallied allies in Tymric the Bold (who quickly gets in on with Summer) and Levyel the were-wolf (one of Jaymriel's victims) to assist in fighting back the lizard forces who seem intent on enslaving villagers and making them dig for... something.

It would take some time but the squad faces and defeats prince circus freak twice, with Morty landing the killing blow on the monster on the second outing. Hyped up by the feat, he is encouraged by his grandpa Rick to go live it up with the local ladies as fame is a fleeting thing. The loss of their prince is a painful price to pay but the lizards retreat with an unearthed dragon egg in tow.

Wildermyth: The Cocks

[Part of the Cursed story line]

"Thanks for bringing us this time Dad," said Beth as she sat on the bleachers next to Rick, flanked by her husband Jerry eagerly taking in all the sights of Fairday like a little kid.

"Yeah, yeah," muttered Rick, twisting the cap of his always ready flask as he spotted his grand kids Summer and Morty arriving late. "What the hell happened to you?" he asked Morty, noticing the largish bump on his head. "Single combat tournament," Summer answered for him, "And that's what he gets for leaving me on a virus infected planet to die!"

"Shhh, the show's about to start!" hushed Jerry, barely able to contain his excitement.

There on the stage was a captive lizardman, and after making a big show of how fierce their race is - the Fairmaster opened the cage to hold a clearly staged mock battle and to the shock of everyone the lizardman kills him for real! Chaos erupts as lizardman raiders arrive to break this circus attraction out and Rick can't help but blast a few before they ran off again. "WHOA -burp-! This is way more interactive than I thought it would be."

"You there," called Trynne nearby. "You are clearly skilled! Join the Cockatrices in hunting down these raiding knaves so that we may deliver justice upon them!"

"The Cockawha?" echoed Jerry while the children snickered. Beth looked pleadingly at her father who knew she was just aching for a good quest. "Fine," replied Rick folding his arms. "But only if you -officially- shorten your groups name to The Cocks."  

Trynne didn't have time to argue.

FTL: Flagship

[Part of the Adventures in Space journal]

Having destroyed the Zoltan military craft, Rick is careful to use their new long range scanner augmentation to avoid further encounters with enemy ships - easily navigating to LRB after LRB until finally... they reach the Federation Fleet and transmit the data.

"Thank you, Who the F* Cares! Now we know the weakness of the rebel flagship that is about to enter this sector! Please, you must help us defeat it."

"Hey, t-that wasn't the deal!" began Rick, but Morty forcibly took the comm unit and shouted "Definitely! You can count on us!"

"W-What are you doing Morty?" Rick shook his head and had another drink as Morty took the helm, setting a course to intercept the rebel flagship before it reached the Federation Base. "I upgraded the ship to d-deliver the message, not t-to fight the D-Deathstar!"

"But we HAVE to Rick! It's to save the UNIVERSE!"

Turns out the flagship is an absolute juggernaut!

Just then, the massive flagship came into view. "O-okay kid, go for it," Rick said as he put his feet up on the console to focus on his drinking. Morty pressed all the buttons, fired all the guns and lazers and missiles, but it was only scratching the enemy juggernaut. In exchange, the Who the F* Cares was taking massive damage with hull breaches and fires everywhere.

With no option Morty screamed and hit the FTL drive to warp out of there. "We failed Rick!" Morty said sadly. "I failed!"

"N-no you didn't!" argued Rick. "You w-wanted to deliver the m-message thingy, and you did. Case closed! You won! T-trust me kid, take the win. Besides t-there are many other universes for us to save!"

"Oh.. oookay." mulled Morty as Rick opened a portal with a hand held device. Morty walked in sullenly.

"WAIT FOR ME," cried Charlie as the rebel flagship suddenly arrived at their position.

"Nice knowing you Charlie," said Rick with a wave as he stepped through and shut the portal leaving Charlie alone on the vessel. Looking out a port window, Charlie saw the flaship somehow make an angry face as it prepared all of its many guns to finish off the tiny Kestrel once and for all. She couldn't even scream as everything became enveloped in a bright and purifying light.

MISSION FAIL. SUCCESS! -Rick

Insight: The long range scanner is super handy, but you'll need to still intentionally seek out those ships and defeat them for enough upgrades to take on the flagship!

FTL: Space Dust

[Part of the Adventures in Space journal]

With the Who the F* Cares back in sparkling mint condition, Rick pulls out from the space dock and right into... a magnetic space mine which latches on with a loud clang! "Oh god, oh god!" whined Morty. "What are we going to do?"

"D-don't worry Morty, I-I got this!" Rick exclaimed while typing furiously on buttons that didn't even remotely ressemble a keyboard which launched a missile that made a lazy u-turn in space. "I-I'm going to shoot it off!"

"BUT RIIIICK!"

"Trust me Morty, t-this is how we survive!"

The missile exploded against the hull, causing massive damage while dislodging the mine that subsequently exploded with a much smaller charge. Charlie and Morty repair the breaches as they fly on and at the Grand Basilisk, Rick kicks off their rock noble passenger against their will to get some sweet, sweet scrap from the Basilisk in exchange for this hearty meal.

They then jump to Zoltan space where a familiar research vessel awaits them... claiming that the procedure Rick previously undertook isn't complete. This is enough bait for them to fall for the trap, as the research vessel is now overtaken by pirates! Rick and Morty barely win against the four boarders using their tried and true "running away while shooting behind them" method, just in time before a Zoltan military vessel arrives and powers up their weapons.

This method seems to work on every adventure!

"What the hell!? I thought the Zoltan's were your friends?" said the shocked Morty.

"I-I don't have friends Morty," Rick replied dryly. "A-at least not in this episode!"

"Besides, l-look at those f-fuckwits. They probably t-think they're a-all macho having just killed s-some girls or something."

Powering up all their own weapons, Rick exchanges salvo after salvo with the Zoltans and this time the military ship is unable to keep up with the vastly upgraded Kestrel. As the Zoltans turn to flee Rick fires one last missile, right up their ass, and vaporizes them into space dust.

Insight: The Engi Medi-Bot dispersal augment is handy in that as long as it has power, all friendly crew on your ship are constantly getting healed. Otherwise, if you need to fight, try do so at your medbay to make use of the a healing advantage.

FTL: Really Peaceful

[Part of the Adventures in Space journal]

"We should be safe now!" said Morty as the Who the F* Cares entered Engi space. "I heard this race was, like, really peaceful!"

An Engi craft appeared right on cue, explaining that a virus called "Rick Sanchez" was detected aboard and thus, they had to be destroyed. With a single press of a button Rick launched a full salvo and destroyed them. "D-don't believe everything you hear Morty! W-We're gonna need to make a pit stop."

Rick parked the ship next to a nearby Zoltan research vessel and through bribery and the repayment of some undisclosed favor got a treatment to slip through any future Engi detectors. This proves really handy at their next stop, an Engi shipyard where Rick spends a lot of time upgrading the ship and loading it out with augmentations while selling the unused parts.

"There's no p-point rushing if we don't get there alive, Morty."

While in port a Mantis ship, decorated by corpses of Rocks, appears and declares its intent to hunt Charlie. Rick goads the creatures and flushes them out the airlock (he made the button look like a toilet lever) without any fanfare. Just as they are about to depart Charlie arrives with another Rock person, some sort of noble, who he says requires passage to the Grand Basilisk, which is on a planet nearby.

Morty readily agrees to help while Rick mutters "Yeah sure, whatever," while drinking more booze and simultaneously blow torching more armor onto the hull.

Insight: A bunch of the FTL races feature in the game Into the Breach, which is made by the same company.

FTL: A New Sister

[Part of the Adventures in Space journal]

After somehow surviving and making it to a refueling station they find the populace to be infected with some sort of disease.  Rick assures them it'll be fine and sends Summer to collect supplies they need while delivering his cure-all gel. After she loads the cargo bay Rick takes off without her, as she is infected.

"We can't just leave her!" exclaimed Morty.

"Sure we can! B-besides you... uh we... have this i-important mission to do, right?" Rick countered. He then spoke to Summer over the speaker "Just rub that cream over your whole body and l-leave it on for 2,890 minutes or y-you'll die. Take it off before 2,982 minutes or I-I'll have to come back and kill what you become."

"Wait, what?" Summer asked just as the ship jumped away.

On board, Morty was visibly on the verge of tears.

"Aww c-come on, i-it's not that bad," consoled Rick. "I-I know! Let's get you a n-new sister!"

Rick's natural state.

The mad scientist suddenly landed on a planet to pick up a rock, which he presented to Morty with a huge grin on his face.

"Uhhh... Rick, that's a rock?"

"MY NAME IS CHARLIE," the Rock said. "THANK YOU FOR SAVING ME FROM THAT DEAD PLANET."

While Morty gasped in shock Rick nodded, "Charlie that's Morty - your new brother! Morty this is your new sister Charlie!"

"I AM NOT A GIRL," Charlie complained. Without missing a beat, Rick pulled out a rod-like device with his free hand and zapped the rock in its nethers as he tossed it in the air. "You are now!"

Insight: Rock crew members move very slowly, which is terrible in all situations. Fortunately they have a lot more HP than everyone else AND are immune to fire.

FTL: Number One

[Part of the Adventures in Space journal]

As soon as the Who the F* Cares left the station, Rick - drunk at the helm - flew it straight for a sun about to go supernova and catching the ship on fire. Only through Morty's timely intervention did they survive to douse the flames. Strangely, a line of ships was nearby - waiting for the rebel checkpoint to clear them to jump to safety.

Rick cut the line, bribed them rebel guards with some scrap and FTL-ed out of there before the sun exploded, taking all the others out in a beautiful inferno.

"Way to go, grandpa!"

"See that Morty? You a-always gotta look out for number one," mused Rick as he accidentally flew right into an asteroid field. To make matters worse, an auto-fighter - the same one that destroyed the Bugly Bugs - decloaked nearby and began pursuit! Morty screamed in a panic as Summer and the fighter exchanged laser fire. After another swig, Rick put the thrusters to max +11, skimming through the asteroid belt and letting the rocks destroy their pursuer.

This put them right in the middle of the rebel fleet. "RIIIIICK!" exclaimed Morty as he pressed random buttons at his console. Summer spun the guns around in amazement. "Which ones do I shoot?"

"ALL OF THEM!" barked Rick, coating the controls with saliva as began evasive maneuvers - managing to FTL to safety just in time... though by then the ship was on fire again.

Insight: Having upgraded engines and the energy to power them makes your FTL drive charge up faster.

FTL: Who the F* Cares?

[Part of the Adventures in Space journal]

"What the hell, Morty! I-Is this some sort of game?" asked Rick as he fiddled with the little data cube in one hand, and a manifest datapad on the other.

"No! Come on Rick, that Charboobie lady said that we - we need to deliver the thing to the Federation to help save the universe!"

"Urgh. Fine," Rick replied with an eye-roll before tossing the data pad to a waiting droid that beeped in annoyance. "THIS SHIP REQUIRES THREE CREW."

"You!" pointing at Summer idling nearby. "Get into the gunner seat and shoot the shit I tell you to!" Rick commanded, followed by a swig of his flask.

"Cool!" she replied as she ushered her little brother Morty up into the Kestrel class vessel. Rick followed but was stopped by the droid who rolled into his way and beeped "SHIP REQUIRES NAME".

"Who the fuck cares?" Rick said angrily as he kicked the droid aside as an emphasis on the word "fuck".

Ship's name successfully registered!

With all the crew aboard the droid righted itself back up and announced "WHO THE F* CARES? CLEAR FOR LIFT OFF".

"Summer!" yelled Rick from the cockpit. She replied by firing destroying the droid with the lasers.

Insight: If it wasn't obvious yet, this game is a rogue like which means you can only save when you quit. Otherwise, what happens - happens!