Elden Ring: Be wary of laggardly sort

[Part of my Elden Ring journal]

At the Belurat Tower Settlement I meet some insectoid foes namely the fly men who have a really annoying grab attack, and the terrifying but actually easy to slay scorpion spiders, because regular scorpions and spiders aren't bad enough! The shady villagers are also keen ambushers but thanks to all the signs left by other tarnisheds I basically have a heads up for any and all ambushes en route to the top of the place where I meet the big boss of the area: a lion dancer? WTF? Anyway, Freyja and I put an end to him easily but the next tower up is sealed by "shadow" so that's the cue to head off and explore again.

Below the settlement is the gaol full of Jar men and folks in various stages of Jar-manism. It isn't pretty. For some reason the boss down here is an agile goblin who is easily slain, just like the ghostflame dragon at the lake outside. I also locate what seems to be a wolf cave but at the lowest level is an entire church of Bloodfiends! This is where I learn the value of a bow (I just use the pulley bow) to annoy one of them at a time to lure and kill which is a super handy strategy since many things fall for it!

After slaying their chieftain boss I locate an ancient forge, being fought over by soldiers and Bloodfiends, that is home to easily smashed lava eles and super tough but also incredibly slow stone smiths. These forge dungeons are really cool as there's no boss in them, just a set of puzzles (and dodging the smiths) to get to the "final forge" to retrieve high level crafting stuff. Less fighting, more thumbs up!

It's faster just to side step these lumbering golem smiths.

Warfarme: Qorvex

Getting this radiation stone themed frame will require jumping more than a few hurdles including completing the quests Heart of Deimos, the New War and Whispers in the Walls which nets you the main blueprint and access to Sanctum Anatomica. There you can collect the rest either by getting lucky from the local bounties or by using Cavia standing (which you get by doing those bounties) to buy them from the bird shop.

Qorvex is built pretty solidly too, and while his speed takes a hit because of that getting the +3 punch through for any weapons he wields is great. Powers wise though, his status shield ability which protects both him and his nearby team is probably best as his summoned pillars or crushing walls are very situational and his ultimate radiation beam feels like a rehash of ultimate beams from other frames (it's weaker than Wisp's but better than Caliban's). He's an OK frame but by the time you get him you'll have found and are probably using something better.

Gloomhaven: Unlocking the Sun

[Part of the Party Time journal] 

After that unfair mission failure, I voted to leave the city and let it rot to the poison while we returned to Vermling Bear island and this time wiped the floor with the opponents resulting in a cascade of gold for the party! Juris then suggested we try another crypt mission that was on our list for awhile which also turned out to be a walk in the park as it was a "reach the treasure room and kill all revealed enemies" one, so we were just cautious of opening extra doors. It helps both Jim and I have extra skeletons we can summon now.

Jim then was game to retry the Wishing Well, and while we did much better here I (the rat) still had to run the doll through to the well at the end as DL was a turn away from collapsing after a bad door open (that's really a thing in this game since all the revealed enemies get a turn after you open a door). That said, while I was dodging the spirits in the last room my compatriots actually cleared out ALL the other enemies, including those laser gun golems which was pretty cathartic! Lastly we visited a drake nest and slew 16 of the things for Hail (plus some flame demons that Jim disintegrated) putting all of us on level 7 now (though I think Juris might be level 8).

As an extra reward a Sunkeeper (paladin/cleric type) is now sitting on reserve for our crew since our good deeds haven't gone unnoticed!

Gloomhaven: The Deep Sh*t Ruins

[Part of the Party Time journal] 

Gloomhaven is pretty up there for the award of city with the most secure sewers, as while continuing to investigate for the source of the poison our team triggers some sort of alarm that not only awakens some nearby undead but also activates laser gun stone golems and... cannons!? Who the heck puts cannons in a sewer system!?

It takes us a total of three attempts to achieve the winning condition of occupying all pressure plates simultaneously to turn off the alarm - located in two separate chambers! On the first go, DL and I went left while Juris and Jim went right but Jim was too slow to reach his plate before people ran out of cards. Attempt two Juris and I went right instead but the cannons pushed Juris off his plate then immobilized him at the worst time - losing us the game.

Third go, we basically just killed everything in the most ridiculous manner possible. This included me (a small vermling) pushing a gigantic cannon into a bear trap to destroy it, and for Jim's battlebot spider to somehow make a stone golem bleed to death!? Egads! Now that this section is clear maybe we can actually get back to finding the source of the poison?

Decluttering Day 14:  Old metal gate pieces. Heavy.

Elden Ring: No joy ahead

[Part of my Elden Ring journal]

Feeling more courageous now after adventuring with Blaidd, I return to the well fortified stone bridge in the South and decide to rush it on horseback! Some how this works, and I come across the blind Irina who pleads with me to help her father at Castle Morne where their servants have rioted. I happily comply and ride right into a giant golem shooting missile sized arrows right outside the castle... WTF!?

Shooting right past that and into the castle itself I find the servants to be ugly harpy like things that are mostly too busy to see my crouch walking past them and up to the ramparts where Irina's dad Edgar is. He refuses to go however, because he's too worried the beast servants have made off with the castle's sword? Fine, so I traverse the rest of the castle and kill the boss-servant who wields said sword (aggression is better here) to convince him to finally go to Irina. We both travel to her and find her cleavered remains.

Home run!

While Edgar weeps I try hunt down the murderer by exploring the nearby surrounds but only find a tunnel filled with more servant things that I'm not keen on exploring just yet and a tower guarded by three spirit turtles who I slay to break the magic barrier, but am just rewarded with more treasure I'm not going to use. My bag is actually filling up with gear I can't use now as I'm only putting points into HP or Strength.

Gloomhaven: The Ruinous Toxic Well

[Part of the Party Time journal] 

We decide to investigate rumors about a magical wishing well not too far from the city but can only verify it is guarded by a small army of vermlings, fairies and stone golems that have laser arms. We well and truly get our butts kicked and limp over to a moor where there's supposed to be a sacred healing tree. As luck would have it, the tree is also in danger of burning down thanks to a fire drake orgy. *Sigh* So we defeat the horny drakes, save the tree, heal up and get back to investigating this Gloom cult (the bandits raising the dead) by attacking their next ritual site.

This time they have night demons (you are always disadvantaged to strike them), ice demons (like earth demons but slightly faster/slightly less HP) and fire demons (glass cannons like wind demons but straight upgrades with more damage and more shields). I slaughter the night ones because my mod deck is very much more balanced now so their disadvantage perk does little to save them, DL's boulders smash the ice ones as they lumber across difficult terrain and Jim almost kills all but one fire ones in a piercing bow strike, but as that's one use, the last (elite) fire demon basically duels Juris for majority of the mission until he can finally get his piercing card to hit!

While victory is claimed there is still a gateway to the void realm (where the demons live) that lingers here. While its tempting to just hop in we decide it's more prudent to head back to town and find an expert who knows how to close this thing.

Voidstar: Dhurnam vs Little Duck

[Part of the Voidstar: Warframe-128 story]

With half the combatants now dead, the promise signal intensified - drawing a few more smart or lucky individuals from their hiding spots in the wreckage! [I had to add 7 wild cards because of all the draws those demolishers caused. Sigh!]

The Arbiters attempted to ambush Kela de Thaym but were out gunned by her Twin Kohmaks, Erra managed to ambush the Teralyst eidolon to further injure it with his sentient beam before getting obliterated with a similar result for the Auditor Denial Bursa against the Gantulyst eidolon. The Rhino specter gunned down Raptor RV with his Soma, Roky couldn't out K-Drive Mania as the acolyte switched teleported with his board and hacked the ventkid into tiny pieces with his Lacera, Dru Pesfor was unmade by Nova's antimatter drop, and Vay Molta could only damage Zanuka with her rockets before being blasted out of the sky.

In closer matches the already injured Zealoid Prelate could only wound Amar before the wolf Archon tore him to pieces, the Ember specter was badly hurt while chain fire balling Rana Del, and Malice out gunned the Infested Mesa. This is because Malice cheats with magnetize so her opticor will hit even when the target is in cover! [I hate it when she does that to me!]

A Lanka sniper shot from the ridge line struck Executioner Dhurnam in the back, but it was only enough to stagger him. Little Duck kept on firing, landing hit after hit but Dhurnam's armor was just too thick [also good reduction against Lanka damage type] - and worse - the more he was hit the faster he moved! Before she knew it, Dhurnam had knocked her down - twin Hek's gleaming in the star light. "You bloody mucker," she started, before being abruptly silenced as his first four barrels destroyed her metal head, and the second four barrels destroyed her chest which housed her actual head.

Octuple headshot!

Voidstar: Clem vs John Prodman

[Part of the Voidstar: Warframe-128 story]

Elsewhere on the crashed ship, Clem spotted a Corpus enemy down the hallway and opened fire with his Twin Grakatas while yelling his usual battle cry: "Clem!". John Prodman barely had time to draw his Prova shock stick to block all the bullets before teleporting right beside his opponent and zapping the little Grineer, sending Clem flying into the wall. Somehow, this move that usually defeats everything, was not enough as Clem rolled back under John's next swing both guns ablazing. "Grakata!" Clem yelled as he emptied both clips into Prodman, knocking the Prova out of his hands.

"Clem?" asked Clem as both guns continued to click on empty, John Prodman still staring down at him. After a few tense and still moments, John finally shrugged and left in a pillar of light - leaving behind a signed poster of himself for this most worthy foe.

I still need to get me one of these...

Outside, the battles raged on with the Lich Worm Queen tanking the charger demolisher explosion, the Hyena Ng barely scratching the Hydrolyst eidolon before getting crushed under foot, the Saryn specter being impaled by the Void Angel, Archon Boreal easily defeating the mimic Jen Dro, Archon Nira taking only light damage while destroying Hyena Pb, Derim Zahn taking down the thief Maroo with his Sonicor, Teshin cutting through the Equinox specter's Shaku nunchakus, Frohd Bek's Ambulas taking damage while defeating Azoth, Cressa Tal losing to the multi-skilled M.W.A.M. unit, the J3 Golem melting the Arn Etina/Darvo Moa and the Nox demolisher exploding the Voidrig in a suicide run.

Out in orbit, the Jordas Golem made its approach but suddenly found itself encased in glass. Somehow it could hear an Orokin's voice in it's head saying but a single word: "Break." With a backhand swing Nihil the Glassmaker obliterated the floating infested mass with his Vitrica blade. [I'm using the version of Nihil that you fight against in his prison, so he's probably taller than he should be. :P]

BDO: Row Row Row, you're Sunk

[Part of my Adventures in Black Desert Online]

Not long after taking care of Illezra, I am asked to investigate a growing pirate threat in the nearby islands. Turns out there are A LOT of islands out there, and while some do have a few pirate scouts it takes awhile before I find the large land mass that holds their main base. They aren't pleased with me nosing around and promptly give chase and sink my rowboat with cannon fire, which I narrowly avoid by jumping into the water!

That's the end of that boat...

Luckily I have one of Ellie's magical maps to teleport me out of there as it would have been a long swim to anywhere. The Calpheon council is most interested in my reports and I am granted a two-cannon sailboat (which needs crew and supplies) to continue my efforts against the pirate scum.

The first thing I use the cannons on is a baby sea monster though, and it is really tough to man both the guns and steer the ship while in combat. I still win, and take my damaged vessel back to the pirate base where I kill a few of them while freeing some of their prisoners before taking refuge on a different island. Since there's a town here I put the boat in for repairs while I checkout a deep cave nearby full of mutated fish people "Prottys" whom I slaughter hundreds of, only to realize they are peaceful? Oops. They do make for a good grind spot though.

Apparently these folk were displaced by ancient weapons (golems) that crashed into the sea with that meteor. I swim down to their underwater city (which looks amazing and has air) to beat up a few of them before heading back to report. This earns me a shiny new cog ship which has no cannons but needs no crew and absolutely flies across the ocean - a big improvement from the slow sailboat! Alas, while doing dive quests I manage to get this speed boat sunk in a storm.

Insight: To reach the depth of the "air gates" of Sycraia you might need to get the 5 minute swim buff from the NPC just to the island on the beach just South of it. Fortunately, you can't actually drown - but running out of air forcibly makes you swim up.

BDO: The Sly Queen

[Part of my Adventures in Black Desert Online]

Among the elves there are those classified as "saints" and it is one such saint who uses her rank to overrule my arrest when I manage to read the song on the ancient tablet I found from the koalas (I guess the Robber Team did do something useful after all). Said saint basically blackmails me into saving the massive Kamasylve Tree that Grana is based around, which has long been withering away and why the power of the elves (the saints in particular) is weakening.

Since that's better than being locked up I agree and look into the death of Queen Brolina's other sister, Catherine, who was working on this very problem when she became a casualty to the civil war. First I have to prove myself to a race of brass golems whom Catherine befriended by fighting two boss versions of them - a slow but deadly hammer one and a quick and invincible twin sword one who you just need to run circles around until it gets tired and becomes vulnerable.

They give me part of a song she was composing which goes well with the ancient tablet I found and locate the last part of the song at the site of her death (with the help of forest spirits who I've been helping throughout). With these powers combined, I am Captain Planet I basically sing to the tree and revive it fully.

The song isn't specified, so I assume its "Bloody Stream" from Jojo's Bizarre Adventure season two.

It's a magical place.

Queen Brolina is impressed and declares I am forever to be a friend of her lands then in the same breath also withdraws her request for aid from the Calpheon military, ends trade agreements with the humans and sends me East to help her other neighbors who have a dragon problem. That is a pretty sly queen.

Insight: Actually, running in circles is a very valid combat strategy in any fight. Very few boss enemies I've met have good aim tracking and generally depend on swarming, cheap shotting or simply being overlevelled to win. The random ranged mob is usually the most dangerous in any group - especially if they don't stand out.

BDO: Robber Team

[Part of my Adventures in Black Desert Online]

A small group from the excavation team are unhappy that the King won't be paying their full fee due to the locked door remaining so (thanks to my lie), and so recruit me for a money making enterprise (I'll call us the robber team) which involves stealing from city folk, visiting ALL the pilgrimage sites in the desert while digging random sand dunes for treasure, and learning how to read texts of the ancient.

To break up the monotony I also chase down a criminal hiding with Gahaz's bandits (who turns out to be dead, but Gahaz the psycho only tells me this after I kill a hundred more of his gang), kill a lot more nagas at their temple and also an army's worth of their sworn enemies the Egyptian desert fogans, scout a dried up river which is now a monster nesting ground, do some swimming/diving jobs for Shakatu and Princess Saya (rafts are slow, fish suits are awesome), and encounter a few of the Aakman desert wanderers who are doing a poor job of protecting the ancient weapons (golems) of the desert as some are very much active, and hostile.

AOE attacks are great.

Since the robber team eventually tries to rob from me too, I rob them in return - taking the huge stash of ancient royal relics that I've been digging up for them back into my possession and handing it over to King Sahazad Nesser explaining that I had infiltrated the group to gather evidence of their crimes. As the King is super gullible he praises my actions and sends out Katar soldiers to arrest the rest of the robber team.

With this task complete I can finally get out of this god damn desert... because screw finding Illezra. That quest line was painful.

Insight: The Valencia II quest line sucks balls, mainly because of the heavy energy use. Energy regains 1 point every 3 minutes log in or 3 hours logged out. It takes 12 energy to attempt to steal and you'll be doing this a lot as there are multiple items that might require multiple attempts. Thieving past 10PM in game time seems to net more favorable results.

BDO: Secret Army

[Part of my Adventures in Black Desert Online]

The first thing I do once I reach the city is something I should have done a long time ago: upgrade my gear! Thanks to the Crow merchant guild I now am rocking some Narchillan equipment with items bought from Oasis Vendor Ellie's shop to supplement giving a significant boost to AP and DP (attack/defense power). Nice!

While doing so I learn there is an excavation taking place underneath Valencia Castle, and that King Sahazad Nesser seeks the key to unlocking a particular chamber in there. The black spirit hints that it can help, and after finding some docile golems in the desert works out that it is the very key the King is looking for.

These things are massive.

I opt to drop in on the excavation myself first, and of course it the same dig team from the very beginning again so they let me in and I quietly open the locked portal alone. Inside is a very active and talkative construct who reveals the entire Black Desert is actually the result of a meteor impact, and the black spirits and black stones within are all of alien origin. It then asks for commands as it and the army of still dormant ancient weapons (golems) like it, are ready to be unleashed on the planet.

Such power can't fall into the hands of crazy humans so I tell them to go back to sleep, reseal the chamber then lie to the excavation team and King Nesser that there is no way to open it. Surely that will solve this problem for good right?

Insight: The gear upgrade sequence in BDO goes from 1-15 then PRI, DUO, TRI, TET, and PEN. I was a bit confused at the letters until I finally did it myself.

BDO: You need to Train

[Part of my Adventures in Black Desert Online]

It's tricky to reach the excavation team this time as there are some deadly golems in the way which requires some nice footwork. They agree to help quell the miners nightmares by creating relic necklaces, but in exchange I have to deal with a nearby helm orc threat. Strangely, I got to beat their "Captain America" boss early, but a new version of him from a nearby dark rift easily kicked my ass. Good thing beating him (again) wasn't a requirement for the necklaces!

When Captain Orcmerica had a spiky shield... and a mace?

My return to Altinova is short as Neruda Shen simply takes the necklaces and redirects me to the Nothern Shroud Knight fortress where a war is brewing against the neighbouring Susans Sausans, most likely because the Sausan leader was recently murdered in Altinova!

Captain Sarma leads the defense but I am of no use as even the Sausan scouts require a full skill rotation to defeat. Not interested to have another corpse, she instructs me to go train up elsewhere before rejoining the coming fight. This is probably a wise decision so I return to Velia. I am now level 57.

Insight: Dark Rift bosses are no joke as only YOU can see them. In my current state it's pointless to even attempt them! The only good part is that you lose nothing if you get killed by one.

The Cursed: A Previous Victory

[Part of the Cursed story line]

The team catch up to the reverend and he reveals himself to be the demon Belhifet! He explains the whole Kuldahar threat was simply a ruse to weaken Easthaven as it is here that he needs to open the portal to hell (not sure why he needed to wait till -now- to do that, guess he's an idiot). Unwilling to let him do that the squad rushes him and his remaining cronies for one last epic combat!

Providing ranged support, Reise is suddenly squished into a mist of fine blood by an iron golem who then proceeds to kick Iholikan around, severely wounding the elf. Meanwhile Belhifet hacks Wylfdene to pieces and then quarters Cristiana before finally being put down by Farcol and Sofie. His defeat also powers down the iron golem, and the threat is finally over!

I needed... a bigger... army...

Belhifet, being a demon, rematerializes in Avernus - upset at the loss of his Northern gambit. All his hopes now ride with his servant in the South... Hephernan. As for the three survivors, they are now trapped in a frozen town with no where to go till spring. Fortunately there is plenty of food in the form of cyclops meat. All they have to do is wait.

Insight: Belhifet wisely opens with a dispel so pop a bless and haste as your opening moves.

The Cursed: Merciful Victories

[Part of the Cursed story line]

Meanwhile in Thay...

Apart from freeing Najim, Party Girl also meets with a guard lieutenant whom Mercy had used her charms on and bribes him 20k gold for his squad to assist in their escape. Voghiln also has a drink session with Joker and poisons her with one provided by the team (Concocter's poison). It is then back to the fight pits as the show must go on.

The next battle has monks whom "Brother" Elraish helps with, an easy fight since their speed is matched by a haste spell and they have no immunity to imprisonment. The same with the lich battle, where Dulf helps with the accompanying bone fiends and Rakshasa round where crazy Lea remembered she also has spells (she must be fighter/mage/thief)!?

Dulf also helps in the mind flayer battle, summoning a planetar of his own to aid against hapless illithids. The most difficult fight in this tier is against a clay "shattering" golem who kept splitting into two, and the team only wins thanks to Mercy's archery and skill. She and Arzang were the last ones standing, though in Arzang's case it was "just barely, invisible, and hiding in the far corner".

Are these ever in the shape of a fat dude?

Insight: Remember you still need to spell strike (or otherwise remove protections of) the magically protected foes before imprisonment will work. Always worth trying off a save for a quick win but some enemies are just immune to it, no matter what. Obviously if it works you'll get no loot though.

The Cursed: Windspear Dungeon

[Part of the Cursed story line]

The team returns to the Windspear Dungeon and enters the maze section filled with traps and false doors. While Yoshimo easily clears those, less easy are the wandering beholder and djinn.

A competing adventuring group also gets cloud-mord-sworded before the team runs into a wolfwere pack. Unlike on that island, these ones are much easier to put down.

Beyond them are golems, including a large golem which is only defeated by tanking mord-swords and Lu Linqi's +4 magic halberd. Another is defeated through door way cheese (too big to pass). At the end of that marathon they find the kidnapped boy and release him from bondage.

Good thing those doorways are sturdy!

All that's left is to go downstairs and to face Firkraag himself... in his lair. Turns out Firkraag is a red dragon!

Insight: I think there's a time limit to rescue the kid. If there isn't, Anomen certainly whines enough to hurry you along.

The Cursed: Anomen the Coward

[Part of the Cursed story line]

The "battle ground" turns out to be a dungeon with a massive entrance. While the orcs and hobgoblin defenders are easy enough to beat, the second floor has stone golems and an undead horde including vamps, mummies and wraiths!

This is doubly annoying since Anomen, who is supposed to be front lining, always defaults to using a sling like the coward he is. It's a tough fight and many mord-swords and blade spiders are used but the team prevails, though now severely injured and level drained.

One of the most useless paladins in history.

They have no choice to return to the city where Anomen receives the bad news that his sister was recently murdered and worse, there is no evidence to arrest the prime suspect. Rasaad convinces him to stay true to his path and believe in justice - letting go of vengeance. Yoshimo scoffs at this, saying he'd never let his own kin down so badly. It does sound pretty cowardly.

Insight: This is what the pregenerated NPCs have over your own "silent" party members: banter. And it is terrific.

The Cursed: Trickster in the Hills

[Part of the Cursed story line]

Returning to Athkatla to sell loot from the temple the team find the Planar Sphere under attack by a group of magic hating mercs! Unlucky for them, the friendly guardian golem patrols into them and wipes them out, their employer suffering a similar fate soon after.

Anomen then suggests to investigate an ogre problem at the Windspear Hills, so they go and sure enough encounter the oddly well spoken brutes. Upon slaying them however, it turns out the ogres were paladins - one of whom was ex-ally Ajantis!

Sorry dude, you looked like an ogre.

A passerby offers shelter for the party and warns them that they are being targetted by the local trickster Lord Jierdan Firkraag, the same person who told Anomen about the ogre problem. As if on queue, a bunch of orc mercenaries working for Firkraag then show up and attack. While they are easily beaten, they do manage to abduct the good samaritan's boy in the chaos.

A lone messenger then appears issuing a challenge for the team to rescue the boy at the "battle ground" in the North East. They accept.

Insight: For some reason enemies respawn quickly in this area. Be prepared.

The Cursed: Planar Sphere

[Part of the Cursed story line]

With the Umar Hills safe, the team returns to the city and Jaheira is again accosted by Harpers. While violence is avoided once more, she does take the drastic step of quitting that organization! The group proceed to the Planar Sphere which Valygar does open. Inside they find misplaced Knights of Solamnia (from Dragonlance) who warn that this place (it's a space ship) is very dangerous.

Iron golems are dangerous even without weapons.

This is true, not so much for the cannibal halflings on board but for the numerous golems guarding the place. The large iron ones in particular are very tough as they are both weapon and magic resistant.

Insight: Iron Golems are towering menaces, but that also means they can't fit through man-sized doors. Use that to your advantage!

The Cursed: Highest Tier

[Part of the Cursed story line]

Baeloth turns up his cheating ways to 11 in this next tier, and it is only thanks to Ghorlak's advice that the team gets through. The fight against trolls requires fire to win (other wise the trolls get up at full health).

Against the clay golems and shambling mound, crushing weapons are needed or you do no damage. Against the ice salamanders fire really hurts them bad (the easiest fight thanks to fireball). Finally against the fire giant and fire elementals you need...

Turning up the heat!

Health potions. Lots and lots of health potions. Sure, fire resist and ice gear would be handy, but potion spam is the only thing that let the party win this round.

Furious at the outcome, Baeloth declares that he will fight the team next - along with a duergar ally and that smarmy rakshasa...

Insight: You can prepare buffs prior to entering each fight. Haste, bless and protection are almost mandatory in this tier (apart from the ice salamander fight).