Thursday, 23 February 2017

This is the Police

Who knew being a corrupt police chief could be so... boring? Guess that's where the donuts come in!

After an impressive animated opening with a unique, soft and semi abstract art style you quickly find yourself in the boots of an aging police chief who is on the way "out" - since the scumbag Mayor is forcing your retirement in 180 days. Alas future cut scenes are done in a more comic book style format, but it is still cool and the voice acting is pretty decent.

This is what you'll be staring at most of the time.

The mayor is far from the only scum bag though, as you have to deal with the mafia, serial killers and everything from pranksters to terrorists. If you guessed that this is a management game, then good work detective - you are right! The chief of police sends out other people to handle all the 911 calls. You must handle your staffs time and needs with what the city needs and wants... and more importantly what you need and want.

Want to make an easy 80k? Just send three of your officers to a trap and leave their bodies in the morgue. Yes, you can be a very dirty cop. For me there are two main problems with the game: 1 - too few song choices. In the 3rd "act" you get even less songs which makes it feel rushed or incomplete. 2 - The game is too long. 180 days of managing calls is very grindy, heavy on reading, and honestly not very compelling. Majority of them you will be zoning out on autopilot and possibly wishing for donuts.

It's not a bad game, but it's not a fantastic game which is a shame. I really think it could have been better than what it is. In its current form I give it 2 and a half side jobs out of 5. If you like management games, it might be worth a look - otherwise, it might be worth a skip.

Wednesday, 22 February 2017


A single room story.

This entire "experience" takes place in a small cabin with you playing as the moping protagonist who is looking for his wife - the titular Serena. While it's one of those "quite different" games, it is very linear, has a short play length and lack of choices/player agency. Most of the descriptions are read out by the sad sack protagonist and if they were going for a sad sack voice they picked the right guy.

The whole story happens in here.

It is quite annoying that he refuses to do many things, simply to keep you constrained in the cabin or until you've unlocked that part of the "story". Click on a cabinet and you might get "I don't feel like doing that right now". Yeah. One of those games. If you want to kill 10 minutes on a freebie from Steam then you might want to consider this. If you have longer then you might prefer to check out one of the many other free titles. Even Trick and Treat is better. For all the reasons above, it's hard for me to give this more than 1 picture out of 5.

Tuesday, 21 February 2017

Today I Smiled: Reconnected

For those of you wondering why I missed a few days of posts, it was due to annoying internet issues. As of today though, that should (hopefully) all be fixed and I can get back into the swing of things! :)

My Dark Souls story is taking a break - but don't worry I'm sure there's more to come with that next DLC in March... haha. In the meantime here's some stuff to make you smile - like Russian Soldiers marching to Barbie Girl, or Ragnar (from Vikings) being naughty, how people can make "fake news" with a web cam, or perhaps my favorite of this lot made for John Wick fans... Dog Wick!

As usual I also have some music links for you - starting with Brian Mcknight's Back at One (Piano and Voice only), the entire Wizardry Online BGM Piano Suite, and a Castlevania Medley guitar duet (played -very- cleanly)! There's also a Castlevania 3 Medley by the same duo if you liked that.

That's it for now - I'll leave you with a question, and that is - why would a burger joint need an Ad that hits you in the feels? No idea. But I sure would like some Jollibee right now. :P

Sunday, 19 February 2017

The Legend of Drizzt (Boardgame)

Because the Underdark is... dark and full of terrors?

After completing Temple of Elemental Evil and Wrath of Ashardalon (in that order), my game group has moved on to the next of the D&D adventure system games - the Legend of Drizzt (which I'll abbreviate to LoD from here on out). I know we're sort of going backwards(?) but the general consensus is that the miniatures are getting better - which is interesting.

LoD uses the same tile and monster mechanics as the others, but now comes with twisting cavernous zones, some of which are -really- tight, and "dead end" tiles which I'm guessing are quite frequent in the Underdark: the main location of this campaign.

The tiles are more claustrophobic!

There are some strong bad guys here too but nowhere near as strong as the numerous player characters on offer - which is partly why we're still sticking with our initial Temple group. :)

There are a few variations of quests to the seek and destroy or seek and escape which is nice, but the inclusion of competitive adventures (player vs player) actually lessens the value for me. Also, since the campaign tries to follow Drizzt's adventures there are many gaps in the story where he isn't in the Underdark. For those reasons, this one only gets 4.5 driders out of 5.

Saturday, 18 February 2017

Skyrim: 30 Days of Skyrim

Might as well be part of my Skyrim Adventure Journal! You can read the whole story here!

Turns out there's this "30 Days of Skyrim" challenge floating about, and since I've raked up hundreds upon hundreds of hours on the game I thought I'd give it a crack. Also rather than spread it out for 30 days I'm just going to hit them all at once. :)

Day One: Which race did you chose?
I always go with Nord. The natives of Skyrim. Which happens to be my character name.

Day Two: Mage, Warrior, Rogue or mixed class?
I always start with Rogue, then eventually mix into Warrior and only at the very end do I pick up magic skills. I don't mind worlds with magic, I just don't like being a magic user.

Day Three: Favorite Quest Line.
The Forgotten City Mod. It's fantastic.

Day Four: Favorite Quest Mission.
To Kill an Empire, and any others that involve directly slaying Thalmor or Imperial people.

Day Five: Favorite Faction.
Dawnguard. Definitely my type of crazies. :)

Day Six: Least Favorite Quest Line.
A Night to Remember (the one you get drunk). Did it for completion but it's ultimately stupid.

Day Seven: Least Favorite Quest.
No Stone Unturned. It's a collection quest. Blergh.
Also, Diplomatic Immunity because I'm not allowed to eradicate all the Thalmor in their estate.

Day Eight: Favourite Companion(s)
Serana from the Dawnguard DLC since she has the most backstory and is easy on the eyes. Brutus Brutalus [from the Summerset Isle Mod] was a real ass kicker though for whatever reason.

Day Nine: Favorite City
Whiterun, it's in the middle of everything and has a nice layout to the place.

Day Ten: Favorite Hold
Again Whiterun. I like the open, rolling, non-snowy plains. I also quite like the wandering giants and mammoths!

Day Eleven: Favorite antagonist.
Samel from the Inferno Mods. The guy just keeps coming back!

Day Twelve: Favorite Shout(s)
For a long time it was Dragonrend, but recent mods have me favoring Slow Time and Become Ethereal.

Day Thirteen: Favorite Spell(s)
None really, since I'm not a mage. I suppose the light ones are useful every now and then.

Day Fourteen: Favorite Weapon(s)
Paralyzing bows and paralyzing knives. Eventually graduated to dragon slaying katana and oblivion sword though (from the Death Mountain Mod).

Day Fifteen: Favorite in game book

This one from the Death Mountain Mod! :P

Day Sixteen: Least Favourite Creature
Slaughter fish, mainly because they are hard to target and pointless to fight.

Day Seventeen: Horder or no?
Not really items wise, but gold - wow I love gold. Despite having over a hundred thousand coins I still open baskets and nightstands to take all the coins I can find.

Day Eighteen: Favorite House.
Solitude. It's spacious and pretty functional.

Day Nineteen: Mods or no mods?
Definitely Mods. They add so much content to the game!

Day Twenty: What do hate most about Skyrim?
NPCs try to fight me when I'm clearly out of their league. They should either flee in terror at this point or simply surrender immediately.

Day Twenty One: Funniest thing you’ve done.
Chain executed maybe 20-30 enemies from the Sinister Seven Mod as they chased me through a door to a new area.

Day Twenty Two: Funniest glitch you’ve encountered
Dead dragon in Riften. Respawns dead. :P

Day Twenty Three: Favorite Song.
The dragon fighting music!

Day Twenty Four: Stormcloak Rebel, Imperial Legionnaire or neither?
Stormcloaks forever. Imperials are pussies since they lost/had to make peace with a bunch of elves. HUMANS MUST REIGN SUPREME ABOVE ALL OTHERS!

Day Twenty Five: Vampire, Werewolf or Vigilant of Stendarr?
Vigilant of Stendarr I guess, though I never really wear that title. Guess it fits somewhat though. Dislike of magic, slayer of non-humans. *nods*

Day Twenty Six: Favorite Armor set
Mastermind's Armor from the Sinister Seven Mod. The darker it gets, the faster you can move ultimately twice or three times of someone on horseback. Especially useful in dungeons where you can sprint up to an enemy (from the front) in stealth and execute them before they can draw their weapons!

Day Twenty Seven: One thing you would change about Skyrim
Let the game handle thousands of combatants in combat without crashing.

Day Twenty Eight: Who did you marry in game?
Njada, because she's a human Nord. I quite like her scars too. For me they make her look better than the ones who have flawless skin.

Day Twenty Nine: Favourite Deadra
Sheogorath. I'm biased though, since I really liked him in Oblivion and the Shivering Isles too. Still disliked his quest here.

Day Thirty:  What do you love most about Skyrim?
The dragons!

Friday, 17 February 2017

Dark Souls III: Thy place of belonging

Tales from Dark Souls - spoilers ahead! You can follow the rest of the story here!


After 30 or so attempts and maybe 10 or so embers, which I'm now using as a heal item rather than a pre-combat buff, I finally win this most epic battle as the nunja does not get up a fourth time (thank god). Is it strange that I'm going to miss her now?

I head out to where the white haired prisoner girl has begun painting on a canvas and tell her of her uncle Gael's (many) deaths. She doesn't seem to mind. Instead she tells me:

Those who aren't ken to fire cannot paint a world...

Those absorbed by fire, must not paint a world.
Don't worry, I haven't forgotten, Mother...
I can hear the fire crackle...
And soon, I will see it...
My thanks, Ashen One.
I will finish the painting.
Of a cold, dark, and very gentle place.
So that it might make a home for someone, someday."

It is with sorrow that I leave her there to die as Ariandel's flames begin to consume the place. That second line strikes a chord for me though. Perhaps it's some sort of clue as to why the fire didn't get linked, and why it's best that I am fireproof.

Thursday, 16 February 2017

Dark Souls III: Fighting Fully

Tales from Dark Souls - spoilers ahead! You can follow the rest of the story here!

Rejuvenated by the victory I return to face Friede and promptly get face stomped again and again. I do improve though, up to the point where I slay her! But this is Dark Souls, that doesn't really mean I won. See by doing that Ariandel goes ape shit and revives her.

Oh, so the boss fight only starts -now-?

Now I have to fight both a nunja, and a crazed giant bird wielding a cup full of lava! Even with Sir Gael's assistance, this does not end well for me and defeat resets the fight -fully- as per usual.

I opt to head back (bonfire warp works just fine) and chat with Corynx who gives me clues where to find more Estus shards (more healing). I manage to find two more which is still not a full set but it proves to be enough to slay both Friede and Ariandel! Huzzah!

This leads to phase THREE, where our favourite nunja revives again - this time with dual scythes (I guess she killed Scythegirl too) and insane dark magic moves. Yep. I die again. A lot. And this resets the fight -fully-. :P