Saturday, 17 May 2025

The Heavy Standard: The Black Dog

[Part of the Party Time journal]

After fighting the ring of soldiers guarding the Emperor's Spire, the party encounters Bun Bun knocking on the Emperor's door begging to be let in. Dr. Qwek Qwek grabs him by the hair and throws him out a window to twice kill the cross dresser. They then face the Emperor himself who explodes out of the door and kills a few more of their number before Eagle hilariously finishes him off with a pointy stick up the bum. The curse is now broken, but they have one more thing to check out - at the main floor they use the heavy standard to unlock a spiraling metal staircase into a dark cold chamber.

Niggi the black bulldog Juris saved much earlier runs off and is soon behind the glass in some control center powering up the space ship of world eating aliens. He thanks them for the escort and announces that they're going to lift off soon, giving them the choice of staying to be snacks for the soon to be awake monsters or to return topside and die with the rest of the island (which is all a space ship).

They chose neither and find a control panel that they have to work out how to manipulate (I used an easy star puzzle as my players have never played one before, and gave them more and more rules and hints based on successful rolls) all while Niggi released poison gas to eliminate them. They solve it easily and disable take off, then Agrellon plants his seed of water he took from the Painted City to sink the space ship (and collapse the Waiting plateau) and Juris casts teleport (putting him in old age now) to get them back to relative safety of the City of Babababa, ending the campaign. Other than the 4 players their surviving NPC followers were 6 other original 555s, 4 guards from the Daggerdowns and all 4 froggies (who I suspect were safe because I let them name them :P).

The end. We had a lot of laughs playing it, hopefully you enjoyed reading about it! :)

Thursday, 15 May 2025

The Heavy Standard: The Standing Emperor

[Part of the Party Time journal]

The next tower they visit is the Library of Truth, which is in the shape of a book but constantly burning, as they were told the lord librarian here was actually helpful to the rebel cause (and they couldn't work out how to kill him). He is indeed a font of knowledge, sharing weaknesses of the others that he knows of and mentioning Emperor Hiatus is now known as "the standing emperor" as he no longer sits down but only after telling them that all of them are actually unwitting caretakers to an evil race sleeping beneath the plateau, and that the old battle standard still carried by Dr. Qwek Qwek actually has parts that can fold out to turn into a key that can be used at the main floor of the Emperor's spire.

After that info dump he takes a vial of poison and offs himself while the team heads next to the confront Bun Bun, the long haired and bearded master builder in a dress who they know they need to drop from a great height. The dice aren't with them here and Bun Bun escapes to (finally) warn the guards while they slink off to rest and head off to their next target, Admiral Sea King Glory on his exploded boat. Eagle just uses an exploding arrow to kill him and then snipes Lord Commander Hasner Been in the back (the only way to kill this back stabbed champion) as he rode around in his chariot.

The soldiers manage to catch up with them afterwards for a brief scuffle but they're soon on their way again to the Argilatory Prison to take out the Emperor's brother, Never. As his guards are busy fighting the apes who have climbed up from the hills they manage to catch him alone, Juris paralyzes him, Agrellon strip searches him, and then Eagle and Dr. Qwek Qwek take turns stabbing him in the heart to finish him off. Reading his scattered papers they learn he had previously attempted to kill his brother with a spear trap that launched up through the throne, but was confused when the Emperor survived it. Eagle rightly surmises this is why he no longer sits down! Armed with this knowledge the party head to his spire to break the curse once and for all.

Wednesday, 14 May 2025

The Heavy Standard: The Waiting Curse

[Part of the Party Time journal]

Feckless Licker, the first Nigian high mage of the empire, is upset about losing his tithe so he conjures a supply golem to face the team (they had a lot of supplies, so that became the HP of this monster), but the awkward construct and the stupid mage are no match for them. He quickly spills the beans about the curse he helped the emperor create: to force people to serve him forever any being that leaves the plateau is immediately engulfed in flames.

It is powered by the chosen nine (one in each tower of the city) who must each be twice-killed (and the second death must be exactly the same as the first for it to stick) to break their part of the curse. Agrellon tests this theory by beheading Feckless Licker twice, as he was dumb enough to reveal he was one of the nine and had not died a single time yet.

They then move on to the lightning blasted tower of Archmage Letalis (who enjoys calling out to the stars to see if something will answer) and accidentally release him from his prison of salt. Eagle uses the magnetic metal manacles to quickly bind him and the squad push him off the observatory where he is hit by lightning (more than once) ensuring that he is truly dead.

At the "sapling" of the elven great tree (its still a big tree) they face the imperial gardener and her two great eagles (one gets swatted by Dr Qwek Qwek using the Heavy Standard and the other gets turned into a cat) and Agrellon works out that this lady was hung from a noose, so they string her up by the very tree she was tending. This is witnessed by a pair of dirty disabled rebels who plead for help while giving some information on the remaining tower lords but are turned away as part of joining the rebellion is to get a part of yourself amputated to feed the community. They give that a hard pass.

Tuesday, 13 May 2025

The Heavy Standard: The Sword of Cats

[Part of the Party Time journal]    

Around a fourth of the 555 opt to remain in the peaceful Painted City, and the remainder are armed with Eastern type armor and weaponry as agreed by the Painted Lady. After passing through the Blue Forest and dodging a few jiang shi (hopping vampires) they come across an obliterated land scape with a mountain in the shape of a cracked egg in the center of a crater in the distance while the remnants of the Waiting magic academy lies in ruins closer to the plateau walls.

They opt to go to the academy and learn it was a good choice, as that mountain is full of hostile aliens that fortunately can't stand the sunlight. Nevertheless a skeleton looking mage-builder (he drank a flawed potion of permanent invisibility) hammering away on a bomb he is building requests they explode the thing, but they refuse - opting instead to simply buy his other wares which include bracers of magnetism (to each other), a variety of potions (that are all just soft drinks), and a sword of cats.

With this they proceed into the endless sandstorm of the Niga desert and happen to wander into the base of the Cult of the Grey, fanatic slavers who worship a tall gray alien who claims to have saved the world by shooting down the egg-mountain and continues to save the world by generating an endless sand storm so that other hostile races don't come visit. He says all of this while using a large metal spear-straw to impale chained captives and drink them like disposable juice canisters, crunching them up and tossing them away when he's done.

The team opt to slay him and his cult, setting the remaining captives free who help lead them to the Nigian city of Babababa which holds a gateway up to the Waiting City plateau. A small encounter with spider cacti lets Juris test out the sword of cats which turns defeated enemies into regular cats! At the city itself the surviving Nigians of the 555 get them past any security and they offer to escort the tithe wagon of amputated female slaves to their great wizard, Feckless Licker, up to his tower in the cursed land. To save the slaves from further pain, Juris stabs them with the sword of cats and turns them all into (full bodied) random cats too and lets them go free.

Monday, 12 May 2025

The Heavy Standard: The Painted City

 [Part of the Party Time journal]   

With the tower guardsmen now supplementing the 555s (along with the reluctant elves, dogs and 4 froggies) they use the main underground tunnel to make their way underneath the "ape tower" and onwards to the main shaft - a deep spiraling hole with many smaller tunnels branching off in every direction, at the bottom of which is another long corridor that ends in... a collapsed section dead end! They didn't run into anything on their way here but now trapped they here the unmistakable "laughter" of the apes as the army of monkeys flank them in the tunnel.

There's nothing to it but to fight their way out, and Eagle and the elves roll fantastically - easily clearing the path back to the spiral shaft. Here the apes, now coming from every orifice and throwing boulders from the high ground have a massive advantage and mercilessly kill every single elf in the unit before Juris puts up a wall of dust to aid in their escape. They exit at ape tower and encounter a huge silverback sitting on a throne of bones but Eagle shoots it in the eye and it just scampers off. They do the same as the barricades they put behind them are sure not to last very long...
 
Continuing Eastward they descend from the misty hills and find a great river controlled by a group of kappa bandits but Juris easily nullifies them by freezing the river, granting them passage to the Painted City - a society of artists, musicians and crafters who all worship the Painted Lady as their goddess, all safely tucked away behind a massive wall of a moving mural.

The only way forward is through but they aren't allowed to bring any weapons or armor through the city so they bargain with the Painted Lady, who agrees to provide them with equivalent gear after they convince some fishermen down at the docks to return to being faithful to her and not to listen to the voice of Lady Longwein telling them they are trapped in a painting. Agrellon still gets a seed of water from this exchange (they were meant to plant it in the Painted Lady's palace), and Juris also gets another deal with the Painted Lady of regaining some youth in exchange for forgetting his magic. He accepts.

Sunday, 11 May 2025

The Heavy Standard: The Daggerdowns

[Part of the Party Time journal]   

Bad Horse and a number of braves accompany the 555 back through their destroyed camp to the Southern cliff face where they, Eagle, Dr Qwek Qwek and Agrellon rappel down to a large ocean facing cavern. Juris opts to stay up top with the rest but turns them invisible for added safety. It is winter again now and they find five of the flying serpents (dragons) asleep in the cave. With much stress and good rolling all are assassinated simultaneously.

A crevice not big enough for the serpents to fit through descends deeper and following it they find evidence that there might be more: cracked egg shells and eaten corpses of... something. From the underground lake appears Lady Longwein offering another seed of water to solve this danger before vanishing once more. Bad Horse eagerly takes the seed of water but is convinced by the 555ers not to use it immediately (1 year) and what it will do (from past experiences).

Not willing to continue to hunt they all return to the surface where Bad Horse and his braves return to his camp while the 555 push East, into the misty forested hills of Daggerdown where they were warned dangerous beasts lived. It isn't long before they are attacked by them: angry silverback apes who have no limit to their number! They run and run until they find a tower to hold up in. Juris even does a detour to save a black bulldog he names "Niggi" en route which he finds also being attacked by the apes.

The towers residents let them all in and quickly shut the heavy gate behind them buying some measure of safety. Here they learn they are in the second of three "Daggerdown" towers which are actually connected by mines to the Argillatory prison up on the plateau where prisoners conveniently get "shafted" down to the mines. This particular tower is now home to only guardsmen, having eaten all the prisoners and are now running low on water thanks to something lurking down below. The further tower is controlled by prisoners while the tower closer to the plateau is controlled by apes. Seeing an opportunity to reach the plateau, it's clear to them which way to go...

Saturday, 10 May 2025

The Heavy Standard: The Whitelands

[Part of the Party Time journal]  

Rested up they abandon the Fool's March fort and meet up with their elven allies to continue North following the plateau wall into the lush rolling plains of Whiteland. Their mere presence deters a bandit attack on a merchant wagon mid-battle, making the bandits flee while the wary merchants tell them that the path up here has also closed from the great upheaval. The Emperor's Finger tower (fist with middle finger raised) high atop of the plateau is quite visible though (especially during sunrise), as an eternal insult to the people here.

They are also warned that any non-whites would not be treated kindly here, especially with the war against the dark skinned Nigians going on in the North. Some of the 555s are actually Nigian too as Emperor Hiatus Waiting had allied with them early in his reign. Even all the dogs except one which is pure white will be seen as evil. They journey North regardless, saving some kids from a wolf attack and returning them to their nearby town where they learn that they won't be allowed to pass the battle lines in the North.

This immediately makes them do an about turn back towards the swamp but are caught by a 100 strong force of white knights in white armor, white plumes riding white horses and carrying white lances and white flags. Seeing the filth of the 555 they attack! The battle goes very poorly for the poorly armed 555s until Juris does a big spell to make the white knights appear black. Blinded by their racial hatred they begin killing each other till only three remain, fleeing the field and letting the survivors loot their plate armor and weaponry.

They return past the frozen waterfall, past the empty Fool's March fort and up back up the winding rocky incline to the Southlands where they are surprised to find Bad Horse and his people camped nearby. The big man says they lost their territory, a lot of their people, and all the arrested folk from fools march to "flying serpents". The 555 agree to help him with this problem.