The Super Mario Bros. Movie

Teaching kids to consume shrooms.

When two plumbers end up being transported to the magical Mushroom Kingdom, it falls upon them to save the princess! Oh wait, not in this movie as girls are very capable, so Mario has to go save his brother Luigi while helping the princess save her kingdom from the tyrannical turtle Bowser - who, in a great surprise to me, is much more musically gifted than I anticipated! Wahoo?

Obviously the film touches on as many Mario-isms as it can, because lets face it - this guy has been everywhere from underwater, to kart racing, to jumping barrels thrown by a gorilla. Great graphics and a funny plot with just some action sequences just extending into spectacle. As the tone is kid friendly it doesn't matter how much bloodless violence occurs as everyone will be ok anyway, even the dry bones. I was most impressed by the tiny little emotes the often nameless side characters have - those really made their scenes click. Still a tiny bit long for my liking but otherwise a decent kid friendly movie. Thumbs up!

Cthulhu: Death May Die - The King in Yellow

Invoking the name of elder beings isn't usually a good idea.

A board game session from Cthulhu: Death May Die.

A sound stage is the site for the next ritual, and the rehearsing actors are unwitting participants as they read out loud the play entitled "The King in Yellow". The Kid (mom) and Arielle (wifey) clear the path by blowing away the regular guards as Mario (me) runs straight for the cult leader to destroy the first of his undead souls which causes him to flee. A dimension shambling brute gives chase and hurts Mario badly, but also triggers his co-dependency insanity which safely moves him back to Arielle.

He shows up in exactly one mission. :O

Father Luke (Juris) then catches up to the cult leader and destroys another of his souls - causing him to flee more, barely slipping past John's (DL) range as he uses more cultists as human shields. It is the Kid that reaches him with her flaming hands and when he flees again Arielle manages to stab him to death - summoning a weakened Hastur into her space! She manages to sneak away from the dimensional shambler but Hastur and an extra cultist give chase and hurt her badly even as Mario provides cover fire.

John and Luke, who managed to find a boy band to help them, charge the elder one and while the boy band is slain, Hastur teleports away to where the Kid is and nearly kills her too but makes the mistake of leaving her for dead. Meanwhile Arielle manages to get away from the mob as Mario's co-dependency triggers again when as he kills a cultist and the dimensional shambler, while the remaining horde chases Luke who charges Hastur once more, and absolutely kicks his ass - forcing the King in Yellow to flee again. Somehow, the mob of cultists surrounding him are unable to kill him thanks to his holy blessings (more like super good luck dicing).

John manages to punch Hastur in the face a few times before the Kid sends her fireballs down the hallway to finish the elder one off, once and for all! MISSION SUCCESS! Though really, do these elder ones ever die? Unlikely based on this quote from H.P. Lovecraft: "That is not dead which can eternal lie. And with strange aeons even death may die."

Insight: Super lucky dicing made this mission easy for us, though in truth we had three people with one HP there in the end. As usual, speed is the key so take down that cult leader ASAP.

Cthulhu: Death May Die - Know when to Fold em

Featuring the fickle Lady Luck.

A board game session from Cthulhu: Death May Die.

A Las Vegas casino sets the stage for the next ritual, and to break it Father Luke (Juris), the Kid (mom), John (DL), Arielle (wifey), and Mario (me) must win SIX times at the casino, requiring to pay an item per attempt and only able to gamble if the casino has no enemies.

This proves to be tremendously difficult as cultists and hounds of Tindalos regularly appear on the casino floor thanks to the poor odds at the table and while the team gets half the required wins they are out of time as a full powered and immortal Cthulhu appears, nearly killing Luke (who is saved by catatonia). 

The hounds would fit nicely in a Warhammer 40k Tyranid army.

John lures the elder one and everything else away but before they can kill him it triggers his dependency, returning him to the safety of the casino with no enemies in tow. At this point a miracle happens as the last three wins happen in quick succession, weakening Cthulhu once more and pulling him to the party who beat him up!

Fleeing from the room, John goes and lures him back into range (most of the team have ranged attacks) which totally wrecks the tentacled beast, and it is Father Luke who finishes it off with a blessed pool cue in close quarters. AMEN!

MISSION SUCCESS (unconvincing victory here as we almost lost multiple times with numerous people almost dying prior to breaking the ritual, and having the doom track two only steps away from the end)!

Insight: Ugh, I hated the gambling mechanic! We had to learn the hard way that you want to have stress to spend AND a lot of items when using the casino. Not doing so (like we did at the start) felt like wasted turns. I dunno, it just felt really swingy.

Cthulhu: Death May Die - Dig Deep

Shovels and rifles, a good combination.

A board game session from Cthulhu: Death May Die.

Arielle (wifey), Mario (me), Father Luke (Juris), the Kid (mom), and John (DL) arrived at the excavation site where cultists had already begun their ritual. This time, the team needed to uncover an evil artifact and destroy it and quickly set about their work - removing cultists in the way and digging from midway on the map back to the start.

Even their monstrous Bokrug ally is laid low by Luke and his pick axe as the artifact is revealed. The squad then whacks it into pieces, breaking the ritual and summoning a weakened Hastur who quickly is sent fleeing behind his minions.

 

The Bokrug. Everything in this lore really has a tentacle theme.

Armed with a lasso (sneak three enemies) Mario nabs the elder one and drags him back to the team, away from his defenders for another sound walloping before the King in Yellow breaks free again and retreats down the quarry. This is to no avail though, as Arielle and the Kid both snipe him in the back and lay him low once more.

MISSION SUCCESS (first try thanks to good planning)!

Insight: Since the artifact moves toward the caves once revealed (and if its there you get a penalty), we opted to dig as close to the cave first as the earliest digs have a zero chance of finding it, then in spots closer to the start location so the artifact has a long way to move.

It only took one step in our game, but this was more because our team didn't have to walk too far to whack it. As always, positioning is everything.

Cthulhu: Death May Die - Holy Murder

Some priests are psycho.

A board game session from Cthulhu: Death May Die. 

Victorious from the forest, the investigators John (DL), the Kid (mom), Mario (me) and Arielle (wifey) headed to the nearby cathedral of Father Luke (Juris) to rest up. Alas, this was not to be as one of the other priests had been murdered and the sanctum was now overrun by cultists, ghouls and star vampires!

To break the ritual this time they needed to find the murderer in a possible pool of five NPCs by questioning each one. Focused on that, the team splits up as the Kid uses her magic to clear the initial star vampires before passing out from exertion (catatonic).

Arielle and Mario use the opening to begin questioning suspects while Luke and John deal with a new star vampire and star spawn that emerge from the underground crypts. While it takes awhile to get the information required (since proofs keep flipping back down when the elder one advances) through a process of elimination all signs point to the deacon, whom John executes.

This is correct and interupts the ritual (being wrong is pretty much instant game over), which summons a weakened Cthulhu into battle. After the elder one is bashed down he attempts to flee but takes severe damage from Arielle and the Kid's ranged attacks (who was one step to dying from insanity at the end). Luke attempts to finish off the big bad but rolls a critical fail and only by the love of Jesus manages to survive the counter attack leaving him with one hit point.

It's like this scene from Hellsing Ultimate. Just pretend Alucard is Cthulhu. :P

It is John then who takes it upon himself then to finish off the tentacled monster by using his strengthened bull whip to wrap around its neck and the entry way portcullis machinery to strangle and crush the elder one to death.

MISSION SUCCESS (first try and I really liked the mechanic in this one)!

Insight: When rolling, stars are often good especially for characters with arcane mastery. Not so much against star vampires who instantly damage you if you roll stars when attacking them! Mom had to go easy and cleverly reroll those.

Cthulhu: Death May Die - The Burning Woods

We don't need no water...

A board game session from Cthulhu: Death May Die.

John (DL) led the newly formed team of policeman Mario (me), hunter Arielle (wifey), new priest Luke (Juris) and the recovered Kid (mom) into the Missouri woods for some cultist hunting with the team deciding that the fastest way to victory was simply to set each of the four cult campsites on fire.

It's the only way to be sure.

Splitting up, Luke burned his target first with the aid of a friendly pyromaniac while Mario torched his soon after - executing the panicked cultists that emerged from within. While Arielle hunted down her favored enemy (nightgaunts this round), the Kid roasted cultists on the way to the next campsite but still needed Luke's support to torch it fully.

Far to the North, John was meeting the most resistance reaching the farthest camp having to fight multiple flying polyps and eventually the FULL contigent of cultists from the box! Luckily Mario got there in time to assist, revealing an awesome combo power (as long as they are in the same space) which makes the pair and any other ally on the same tile nearly invulnerable to the cultist horde.

Still they managed to delay long enough for a fully powered and immortal Hastur to appear and attack Arielle,  but she dodged the majority of the attacks. The last camp was set alight soon after, weakening Hastur to a mortal state. Suddenly vulnerable the King in Yellow couldn't take the punishment dished out by the covering fire from the sneaky huntress and the kid (actually everyone was wonderfully placed as he he kept teleporting to vulnerable spots) and was finished off as Father Luke shoved a blessed crucifix down his throat.

MISSION SUCCESS (first try, but this will probably be way harder if fought against Cthulhu instead - Hastur's gate placement is a big advantage to the players)!

Insight: Season two comes with a lot of new monsters, ten new playable characters and six new missions but no new elder ones. It also needs components from season one to play so only get it if you really enjoyed the base game as my group did. :)

Dark Souls: Knights of the King

Tales from Dark Souls - spoilers ahead! You can follow the rest of the story here!

Must have rabies - look at the crazy eyes!

I awake underneath a tree with only one way to go - a clearing with a not so friendly manticore. After crushing the beast I found myself at a small shrine with a talking shroom named Elizabeth. She tells me Princess Dusk has been kidnapped (that was quick) and like any good Mario I should save the princess! Well, I'm here anyway so why not. The nearby and eerily familiar forest is filled with gardener-type spriggans as well as gigantic knight statues who I opt to stay away from. There's also a black dragon.

After much running I find a quiet area that unlocks some handy elevator shortcuts. A shady guy named Chester is here too, selling some stuff and being a bit of a douche. I'm not the only one who was dragged here he says. I slightly suspect Chester's related to Ser Dick. Anyway, at a nearby Colosseum I witness a strange, beholder head hollow getting thrashed by a mighty knight. Who then sets his sights on me! Turns out this is Artorias the Abysswalker, after the abyss had corrupted him.

I just wanted to return your ring, you psycho.

He is a tough fight because learning all his moves (amazing to watch, less so if it connects) takes some time and more than a few attempts. Ultimately I end up face tanking him with the pyromancy called Iron Flesh. This stunts his DPS enough for me to outlast him and ultimately put him in the ground. After the battle a lady knight named Ciaran appears and gives him a proper burial, asking if I could give her the soul of Artorias. Since I sense a connection there I hand it over and she gives me her twin daggers in exchange - stating she wouldn't need them any more.

Turns out this was the Lord's Blade Ciaran, one of the four best knights of the King (Gwyn, I assume). I had already met (and slain) two of the others: Artorias and Ornstein.

Vindictus: Snake Worshippers

[This is part of my Vindictus tutorials.]
 
Welcome to Season 2: the Jungle! Yeah I know there's a ton of content I don't have tips for in Season 1 other than: "Why don't you evade?" and "100 Fine HP potions aren't enough". I'll have to go back and see if I can think up of any more. For now let's talk about Crescent Moon Island and the few bosses there that could prove troublesome. Yeah, the carpenter drone can become hardened against attacks but for serious, go kill a turtle and throw it at him like Mario. Solved.

No I'm talking more about the likes of Legtrap Kaula and her pet giant wasp Blackwing. For a solo Kai I strongly suggest trying to separate the two and taking on Blackwing first. The wasp has a tendency to teleport to you while Kaula has to actually sprint across the map. The wasp is also the easier of the two to read and defeat.

Kaula is the main problem though as she runs very fast, and can jump up and down those embankments faster than you can. She also has a strong and fast melee combo. The only weakness to it is that she keeps moving forward through it. For a Kai I'd recommend placing your dodge grapple midway along the long narrow path and make use of it to dodge through Kaula and shoot her in the back. Rinse and repeat.

Feel free to shoot her in front too.

Meanwhile, Death Chief Kielu has a pretty weak staff melee attack. What she does have is ye old black seeking orb (again - you should know how to evade these by now), and more importantly a scream followed by pounding her staff on the ground rythmically three times. This makes a giant snake tail pop up from right under you which can easily kill you in 2 hits. Running around makes it impossible for the tail to hit you, or you could just time your evades.

This is important to know because when you face the rest of the giant snake (Lakoria), it will do the tail attack up to 10 times on the person furthest away from it. Well, the last one is random target, but you can save your team a lot of hurt if you work out a "runner" ahead of time whose sole purpose is to distract the very painful tail spike away from the actual battle. 

Other than "if the snake swallows you, kill it from within", I can't really give more tips against Lakoria since I've so far only been the runner. :P

Today I Smiled: Mario, Ozzy Man GoT and JAAAAEGER!

Got a bunch of Youtube links that got me smiling this week so I thought I'd share them with you, in case you missed any!

First up is Mario in a Mercedes Ad (somehow he reminds me of Roger Federer). He's looking the healthiest he's ever been!

Next is Ozzy Man's improved ending to Game of Thrones "The Mountain and the Viper" - spoilers ahead if you haven't seen that episode!

Lastly is for all the Shingeki no Kyojin (Attack on Titan) fans - why the seiyuu's (voice actors) of Connie Springer and Eren JAEGER(!) should never sing the opening song. :P

Have a great day!

MMOs: Fast Travel

[Part of my MMO Design Folder]
 
 "The journey is more important than the destination."

Apparently not if you need to meet up with your party at the entrance of the evil lair or attend an event in a distant zone "now". Fast travel is one of those conveniences that I'm on the fence about. If I only have x amount of time a session, do I really want to spend it running from point A to point B while dodging blood thirsty monkey-snakes? If I "skip" to the nearest portal or waypoint what would I miss by going on foot? Well, unless the game has dynamic spawns or better yet random encounters placed by a game master, then probably nothing you haven't seen already if you've run there before.

While I wouldn't want to remove it entirely I'd probably be ok if it required a bit more forward thinking to achieve, like maybe having to purchase warp crystals or rations that occupy inventory space (they don't stack) and the further you travel the more of those are required. In addition maybe using (consuming) rations outside fast travel gives you and your party a full heal while the warp crystals grant full mana or something. Most importantly though, these would only be available in friendly cities and villages. It would be up to the player to carry enough for a return trip, sacrificing loot space, to fast travel back.

Alternatively maybe "fast travel" involves going through a horrible maze with unkillable foes chasing you down to involve some risk in doing so. The Ways and Machin Shin in the Wheel of Time books are a good example of this, and the PC game really had it as a terrifying force you could only run from. Maybe that would get at least some people to use the slower form of travel to experience (or re-experience) the content of the game.

Seems like it exists in card form too.

What do you think about skipping content? Is fast travel the only way to bypass the "been there, done that" mentality? Is warping from point A to point B very different from starting with a level 90 character as all the WoW people are talking about lately? And is that a feature you'd like to see in other games, like paying extra to start at the final zone of Mario or the last quest in Skyrim with a fully powered up dovahkin?