BDO: The Sly Queen

[Part of my Adventures in Black Desert Online]

Among the elves there are those classified as "saints" and it is one such saint who uses her rank to overrule my arrest when I manage to read the song on the ancient tablet I found from the koalas (I guess the Robber Team did do something useful after all). Said saint basically blackmails me into saving the massive Kamasylve Tree that Grana is based around, which has long been withering away and why the power of the elves (the saints in particular) is weakening.

Since that's better than being locked up I agree and look into the death of Queen Brolina's other sister, Catherine, who was working on this very problem when she became a casualty to the civil war. First I have to prove myself to a race of brass golems whom Catherine befriended by fighting two boss versions of them - a slow but deadly hammer one and a quick and invincible twin sword one who you just need to run circles around until it gets tired and becomes vulnerable.

They give me part of a song she was composing which goes well with the ancient tablet I found and locate the last part of the song at the site of her death (with the help of forest spirits who I've been helping throughout). With these powers combined, I am Captain Planet I basically sing to the tree and revive it fully.

The song isn't specified, so I assume its "Bloody Stream" from Jojo's Bizarre Adventure season two.

It's a magical place.

Queen Brolina is impressed and declares I am forever to be a friend of her lands then in the same breath also withdraws her request for aid from the Calpheon military, ends trade agreements with the humans and sends me East to help her other neighbors who have a dragon problem. That is a pretty sly queen.

Insight: Actually, running in circles is a very valid combat strategy in any fight. Very few boss enemies I've met have good aim tracking and generally depend on swarming, cheap shotting or simply being overlevelled to win. The random ranged mob is usually the most dangerous in any group - especially if they don't stand out.

BDO: You need to Train

[Part of my Adventures in Black Desert Online]

It's tricky to reach the excavation team this time as there are some deadly golems in the way which requires some nice footwork. They agree to help quell the miners nightmares by creating relic necklaces, but in exchange I have to deal with a nearby helm orc threat. Strangely, I got to beat their "Captain America" boss early, but a new version of him from a nearby dark rift easily kicked my ass. Good thing beating him (again) wasn't a requirement for the necklaces!

When Captain Orcmerica had a spiky shield... and a mace?

My return to Altinova is short as Neruda Shen simply takes the necklaces and redirects me to the Nothern Shroud Knight fortress where a war is brewing against the neighbouring Susans Sausans, most likely because the Sausan leader was recently murdered in Altinova!

Captain Sarma leads the defense but I am of no use as even the Sausan scouts require a full skill rotation to defeat. Not interested to have another corpse, she instructs me to go train up elsewhere before rejoining the coming fight. This is probably a wise decision so I return to Velia. I am now level 57.

Insight: Dark Rift bosses are no joke as only YOU can see them. In my current state it's pointless to even attempt them! The only good part is that you lose nothing if you get killed by one.

BDO: Shen Rising

[Part of my Adventures in Black Desert Online]

The arena battle is pretty cool as the death knight is the only enemy so far that can out pace me, but with potions and good dodging I still manage to kill him - which is bad because I forgot to ask about the white witch first. At least he gave me her name: Illezra.

After the match Captain Sarma Amin of the Shroud Knights and servants of the rightful lord Prince Barry Bareeds III, approaches and berates me for siding with the wannabe merchant despot, Neruda Shen. He is hurt by these accusations and so instructs me to assist the Shroud Knights in an effort to extend good will.

When player guilds can select their own emblems, you get funny flags.

Sarma is hesitant at first but welcomes the assistance as I take down a base of Illezra worshiping rogues and an army of manes (gnolls) threatening the small, sorceress filled village of Tarif. Thanks to my efforts, Prince Bareeds III (who turns out to be a kid) appoints Neruda Shen as Steward of Altinova while he seeks asylum at Valencia until he comes of age. Way to put off problems of the realm till later kid.

Neruda then asks I help the miners who are having horrible nightmares and after consulting with the sorceresses at Tarif, I am directed to find my old friends: the excavation dig team, who are now working on a ruin in this region! These guys certainly work fast!

Insight: My bonus beginner bag space ran out at this point, and if you are wondering - any items left at the bottom at the bag are now locked and held hostage until you can unlock more bag space, either through payment or by completing quests. I'm obviously going for the latter

BDO: Cheap Adventurers

[Part of my Adventures in Black Desert Online]

Since the excavation team really made a mess of things I was part of the many cheap adventurers (noobs) hired for protection against the literal army of "imps" (which look a lot like kobolds) they displaced during the dig. Not just for the crew either, but also for the nearby village of Velia which is already troubled by surprisingly tall goblins and exiled soldiers in an old castle.

Imps grow big here.

Defeating the imp leader also revealed that the excavation had freed a cutesy black spirit which empowered the creature physically. The little bastard then fled and did the same for the goblin leader and castle lord, both of whom I had to beat while chasing it down before losing its trail.

Alas, since I lost it again I was promptly fired from the protection detail. Awesome.

Insight: Thank god for the "T" auto travel key. I use it a lot!

Saviour of the World

Part of my XCOM: Defenders of the Earth series!

Sent my four colonels - Panicman, Hitler, Sledge, and Gravedigger along with my most lethal soldier - Major Bald Witch and Major Bondi Vet who had proved his worth in keeping people alive in previous missions to assault the alien temple ship. Upon arrival the ethereal boss began narrating the entire alien's plot and motives. Something to do with ascension. I didn't really care. The squad kept in tight formation right down the center passage of the ship, eliminating pretty much every type of alien encountered thus far. Near the end, having used up most of the med kits they came to a large chamber with a pair of sectopods. Even Bondi Vet couldn't save Col. Sledge from the dual searing beams - one cutting through the colonel's face, the other through his crotch.

Hitler's new found rift ability ended that threat quickly, and after a few more mutons the team advanced across a thin passage to the final chamber where they encountered the ethereal boss, who prompty summoned two elite guards and two other ethereals. In addition he put up some sort of force field, preventing Gravedigger and Bald Witch from entering the chamber!? Panicman ran up the flank and he and Bondi Vet opened up fire on the ethereals, but all their shots were reflected! Gravedigger landed a critical shot on the boss thing with his rifle but it survived, while Bald Witch took out one of the mutons (her only target) with one shot. Hitler mind-controlled the remaining elite for a second - just as he did one of the ethereals destroyed the poor creature with an energy blast.

The aliens then went on the offensive, mind-controlling both Hitler and Bondi Vet. The Australian, unable to resist the powerful psionic energy screamed in pain as he was molecularized into purple nothingness by the boss ethereal. Panicman, the last one active in the room, managed to flank and wound another of the ethereals before it disintegrated him too. Gravedigger was on overwatch since he had no more targets until a shape suddenly moved into view - he fired instinctively but the shot only grazed his target - HITLER! The two psionics stared down each other just a moment before Hitler dismembered Gravedigger with his heavy plasma.

In a blink, Hitler had regained control of his mind - and he took cover on the highest platform to regroup. Meanwhile Bald Witch managed to get a shot off on the ethereal boss, but still not enough to down him. It responded by mind-fucking her to death, exploding her head in an orgasm of blood and brains (aliens are sick). It didn't notice Hitler in the gangway above him though, and in a last ditch attack the german tossed two grenades down killing the alien boss which somehow killed the remaining aliens as well! Alas, this also began killing the temple ship itself as it began implode into a black hole. In order to save the rest of the world, Hitler heroically looked at the door and yelled "go" at his dead allies then raised the vessel into space and caused it to self destruct, killing himself in the process.

He saved your life.

Technically that was a team wipe but mission complete! :P

UFO Assault 101

Part of my XCOM: Defenders of the Earth series!

Dr. Shen completed this Hyperwave Relay device they wanted to build and upon scanning for UFO's we detected a large cloaked bastard lurking in South Africa. It wasn't the same one that shot McCool down unfortunately, but it didn't matter. I sent our local Firestorm in and it shot that bastard down.

Didn't seem big enough to be their leader's ship (I'd think that even for aliens, size matters) but I still sent "A" Team of Hitler, Gravedigger, Big Mike, Bald Witch, Bondi Vet and "new" Major Sledge. What followed can only be described as pure tactical genious! After eliminating a pair of elites patrolling outside, the team entered the craft itself where it sounded like everything was hiding in the central control chamber.

Breach, Bang and Clear!

Rather than walk around to the door, the squad took up a good firing position at their initial entry point and grenaded open the wall, revealing not only a frail alien commander but also 2 sectopod squads and four elites! Rained grenades and rockets into the room while Bondi Vet provided smoke gas cover to help survive return fire. In one round almost all enemies were dead, the two sectopods hobbling out and two remaining elites taking cover in an adjacent hallway. A second round of grenades cleared the ship of all enemies entirely, and the team returned without even taking a scratch. In addition, both Gravedigger and Hitler are now highest rank of Colonel! :D

As they brought back the wierd device they found a super large ship appeared on the map, even causing an earthquake at the base. Ahha, -that- must be the boss I thought to myself. Shen pointed out we have nothing to even damage that... yet, but I am confident whatever this device is holds the key in taking that thing down. The end is near, I can feel it.

They have MECHS!?

Part of my XCOM: Defenders of the Earth series!

Alien Alert! A huuuuge UFO landed in a river in Japan - some sort of massive cargoship which we couldn't just ignore so I sent Gravedigger, Hitler, Bald Witch, Bondi Vet, Big Mike, and Okada to investigate what seemed to be a cargo ship. The large bay doors were open and inviting but given my untrustful nature I sent the team around the left flank first, eliminating some heavy floater guards as they moved up the side. They also alerted a pair of elite mutons but those aliens wisely opted to withdraw to the second section of the ship - some sort of stable? Anyway the team boarded on that second part, finding and eliminating the crafty guards.

I then sent them up to the roof of that section to take high ground and all hell broke loose as chrysillids, another muton group, jetpack boys and drones spotted me. The chrysillids came up first and I made it a point to explode them to death early. Next up were the floaters and drones which used up most of their move just to fly up - good shooting put all of them back down. While reloading and waiting for the muton group half the team was hit by some sort of missile barrage - no idea where that came from, but everyone was still up. Decided to clamber back down and use the main hall way to gun down the berserker and his buddies there. All the team was hurting bad at this point but Bondi Vet was doing his job of keeping everyone alive very well.

Intruder detected.

With reloaded weapons the team climbed up the other side of the stable section and rushed to the end where they found a new type of foe - an alien mecha! It survived everything we threw at it on initial contact, then opened its shoulder launchers as it took aim. At least now I know where those rockets came from! A good grenade throw from Hitler saw it explode into a gazillion pieces before it could fire again though, leaving the team free to enter the surprisingly empty control structure. Swept back down the ship and found a pair of sectoid commanders in the loading bay who were fed a shredder rocket and a lot of lead (and a little plasma) completing the mission with no casualties, but with a lot of injured and critically injured personel.

The Titan Project

Part of my XCOM: Defenders of the Earth series!

Soldiers Lost in the Sixth Month: 1
Campaign Total: 21

A large UFO appeared over Egypt just as the month came to an end and despite the best efforts of my Firestorm and Raven interceptors stationed there the crafty craft got away, leading me to get a grade of "B" at the end of month six. With almost all the world having satellite coverage now and good funding coming in (everyone still backing XCOM) I put in an order to get more Firestorms out there and to outfit them all with plasma cannons. Also, I finally decided to buy some armor for the troops now that there are people worth protecting - getting three suits of heavy titan armor constructed, which would see near to immediate use as a large UFO had landed in Mexico (maybe the one that got away from Egypt).

Sent Gravedigger, Techno Viking, Guy Smiley, Blunder Buss, Buster Downs and our second Psionic - Adolf Hitler to investigate. After eliminating the thin men and heavy jetpack boys guarding outside I got the team to circle around the craft to try something new. Buster Downs lobbed a grenade at the control compartment, revealing a pair of sectoid commanders who were easily gunned down by the surprise attack. From that position they also then exploded the opposite wall from which some wierd noises were coming from, revealing a muton team standing beside an alien powersource. A rocket from Hitler followed by good shooting put them down quick... and then came the cavalry in their blood red armor.

Not quite.

These elite muton bastards had armor to match our titan suits and put up a huge fight, injuring a number of the team and killing Guy Smiley with a ridiculously distant grenade throw. Eventually Techno Viking managed to flank them and really pour on the hurt, with Gravedigger mindflaying one to death. They were the last enemies on this site. Mission complete!

Authority Equals Asskicking

Part of my XCOM: Defenders of the Earth series!

Soldiers Lost in the Fifth Month: 7
Campaign Total: 20

After a combat filled month it was time for another council meeting where I still netted a grade of "A". Due to my lack of troops I recruited five more (all I could afford since the rest of the funds went into base and firestorm construction). I should point out that I'm just using alien tech from captured aliens, not creating my own yet. Also, all my troops are only using the basic armor, again due to funding cuts! :P  Anyway, the five new squaddies (thanks to the new guy perk at the Officer Training School): Buster Downs, Guy Smiley, Techno Viking, Blunder Buss, and Reloader Jones were led into their first sortie by Panicman to stop abductions from a graveyard in Australia. Aliens and corpses again... I'll not speculate. Despite some morale breaks they handled the "light" level enemy force of mutons and floaters pretty well and with no casualties.

Their reward was being joined by the local graveyard keeper, Captain Whiskey, who got tested right away as he was sent to Vancouver with Alpha, Big Mike, Bald Witch, Hitler and the Italian to handle a terror attack there. Squads of mutons, a new heavy floater type (sounds like a big poo), and a deadly cyberdisk were the enemies and due to them all coming one after another the team was hard pressed to stay alive... let alone save civilians. Unfortunately the Italian took a face full of gatling laser fire sending his flaming and charred corpse into a nearby car (which then exploded). The others took damage too, but they methodically cleaned out the threat and saved 11 out of the 18 civilians in the area. Thankfully there were no chrysallids!

Upon their return they had one more shock, learning that one of their team mates was psychic (thanks to the new Psionics Lab in the base). Gravedigger has more than a big rifle it seems, he also has a big head. Bondi Vet and Panicman, who also underwent the testing were found to be not as gifted. I then sent our first Psi-voodoo guy with his two fellow psi-test compatriots along with Airhead, Whiskey, Derka Derka to stop abductions in a small Nigerian shopping strip. All aliens were neutralized WITHOUT any of my team taking damage! Better yet, Panicman has reached the highest rank of Colonel.

Psychic =/= Psionic.

Out of Options

Part of my XCOM: Defenders of the Earth series!

Panicman, Neumann "Alpha", Ragnar, Torres, Murphy and Derka Derka arrived in South Africa to extract one Thomas Hutch from a quiet district that happened to be CRAWLING with Thin Men. Their group sizes and number of groups were unusually high. This made it extremely dangerous and sniper Murphy was the first to find out just how much. After getting caught in a choking cloud of poison, her cover was destroyed and the next rounds of enemy plasma fire completely severed an arm and a leg - her lifeless broken body panicking some of the others. Managed to still sweep the whole area before both Ragnar and Torres also succumbed to the Thin Man poison, vomiting up all of their insides on the street. The rest of the team, plus Hutch and his bodyguards got out ok though.

Cars do not make good cover in this game.

Panicman's work was not over though, as he was sent next to stop abductions on a bridge in Sydney, Australia - bringing Airhead, the Italian, Big Mike, Greene, and McIntyre who bought the farm early when a muton exploded the car she was taking cover behind. The rest of the team were all injured during the encounter against the squads of mutons and thin men with Big Mike taking the worst of it - at least they made it back to the infirmary. This was directly followed by a terror attack in Leeds, UK. With all my other soldiers dead or injured it was up to Ikeda, Gravedigger, Greene, the Italian, Alpha, and Hitler to save civilians on an overpass.

The area was heavy with muton activity, and after wiping out the first squad the team ran into a bad combination of two berserkers and a squad of chrysalids. After using up all the explosives they had both berserkers were still up, leaving Greene and Ikede to lure the brutes away from the others in a desperate attempt to finish them off. It didn't work. The pair jumped upon a woman each and began pounding them with their massive fists behind the cab they took cover behind. As Dr. Vahlen knows, some things just can't survive that amount of fisting. The remaining troops managed to finish off the berserkers afterwards, as well as a few more gun toting mutons, another squad of hungry chrysalids, and a number of zombies that had been impregnated with chrysalid eggs. Out of 18 civilians, they saved 6. Mission complete!

I Respect you as a Fighter

Part of my XCOM: Defenders of the Earth series!

Sent Panicman, the Italian, Big Mike, Bald Witch, Gravedigger, Ikede to stop abductions in Germany where they encountered a new type of alien - the brutish, soldier-caste called Muttons. Erm. I mean Mutons. So all this time I was just fighting their scouts? Great. The big guys are pretty tough but easy enough to hit and to down making them quick work for my organized team, despite their jetpack boy helpers. The worst part was opening a door with a Cyberdisk sitting on the otherside, fortunately every one hit that round - especially the boys with the HEAT ammo.

Having secured the area they gained another solder - Adolf Hitler, who would see action almost immediately in Marseille - accompanied by Panicman, the Italian, Big Mike, Hughes and McIntyre. It was a library block being terrorized by chrysilids. LOTS of them, and between them genestealers and the zombies they make (which then make more monsters) the team could only save 9 of 18 civilians, having to withdraw back out to the street to deal with the swarm at one point. Early in the piece Hughes misjudged the speed of the bastards and was beheaded for her mistake, but she was avenged.

Heck of a way to wrap up an otherwise quiet month in any case, as the next council meeting drew to a close giving me another grade of "A". I must be doing something right!

Soldiers Lost in the Fourth Month: 4
Campaign Total: 13

A UFO then landed in the USA - a big one. Sent Okada, Neumann, McCarthy, Bald Witch, Bondi Vet (wielding our first plasma rifle) and Lucky Jew to check it out. It was full of mutons, including one badass muton that didn't bother with a gun! Unfortunately David, the Lucky Jew wasn't so lucky this time as he was flanked by unexpected muton reinforcements and unceremoniously shot in side of the head. Bondi Vet managed to keep everyone else alive with medkits and with good positioning and a ton of good luck eliminated not only the muton soldiers but their three sectoid commanders as well. Plasma rifle is handy!

It's a muton! Erm I mean a mutton?

Second Wave

Part of my XCOM: Defenders of the Earth series!

Soldiers Lost in the Third Month: 0
Campaign Total: 9

Sent sniper heavy team of Bald Witch, Gravedigger, Airhead, Ikede, Greene and Ragnar to Australia to rescue a General Von something... Von Trapp? From a damaged raised freeway crawling with Thin Men. Guess the invasion is still on after all? After blasting all their cheating faces off (and capturing one thanks to the Bald Witch) we got him and his last soldier out who joined our team called Bondi Vet. Not long after was the next council meeting in which the bald dude gave me a score of "B", probably because I couldn't shoot down that one UFO earlier.

Also, despite not having lost soldiers this month it seems that over half of them were in the hospital, prompting me to recruit a new batch and sending them straight into combat as we shot down another small UFO in Japan. Seriously, why do they always go to Japan? Anyway the rookie team composed of Okada, Neumann, McCarthy, McIntyre, Torres and Hughes moved slowly but surely through the forest eliminating a squad of floaters and thin men in the way.

They then stacked on the crashed UFO door an upon opening it were confronted by not one but TWO sectoid commanders! Obviously the one we killed at the base was just leading the exploratory force it seems. Fortunately my rookies all still had their grenades and the enemy pair were close enough to each other to summarily eat 6 grenades in succession. Thankfully it was just enough to kill them, and the team returned to base having earned their stripes. Mission complete!

Part of every alien's diet!

All Your Base!

Part of my XCOM: Defenders of the Earth series!

Sent my crack team of Greene, Bald Witch, Mister Mustachio, the Italian, Gravedigger and Big Mike rappeling down into the alien base. Fitting this is the first mission I can send a full squad of SIX in now. The large complex had pretty much every type of scum we encountered thus far plus some robotic drones. Once into the main hall the team expended most of their grenades on an unexpected trio of chrysalid genestealers, then proceeded to the control hub while bypassing another three who didn't seem to take notice of them.

The last room was huge, with a raised platform in the middle. Had half the team take the high ground while the other swept around the flank and we soon discovered the alien boss here was a little sectoid commander (with a lot of health). That's when all hell broke loose as the three chrysalids we bypassed came charging into the rear and abither squad of jetpack boys appeared off on the side. Fortunately most of my heavies still had their rockets which, in combination with accurate (lucky) shooting saw the alien commander being alone again.

Not this time, Cats!

With suppression fire and throwing everything we had left against him, Bald Witch finished him off with an arc thrower - capturing his naked ass. She's actually pretty good at that. All of them made it back alive. Upon their return Bradford organized a victory party and indeed, the rest of the world suddenly became less panicked altogether. Dr. Vahlen was about to celebrate in her own way, readying her gloves and equipment for our new guest.

My Churro, Your Taco

Part of my XCOM: Defenders of the Earth series!

Soldiers Lost in the Second Month: 2
Campaign Total: 9

After selling a surplus of scopes to Russia to help them with some missile launch, it was time for another council meeting and the end of month two. Thanks to last minute satellite launches everyone was still onboard with the XCOM project giving me a grade of "A" again, but those little panic bars just seem to keep creeping up. A large UFO made an appearance not long after but my little fighter plane had no chance to shoot that one down so I ordered it back while it could still fly. Back in the base I -FINALLY- have my officer training school and can now send FIVE operatives on the field.

Just what I need, because Dr. Vahlen's wailings were getting too annoying and it was time to capture one of the bastards. Next contact was at a gas station in Mexico where floaters and thin men were enjoying burritos I suppose. I sent veterans Panicman, Mister "Nuke" Mustachio, Big Mike, Gravedigger and David "the lucky Jew" because he got to carry the tazer. :P

Taking cover next to cars and pumps at a gas station sounded like a catastrophic plan but it surprisingly worked very well. With suppressing fire from Panicman, accurate sniping from Gravedigger and well placed grenades and rockets from heavies Big Mike and Mustachio the aliens lost their cover pretty quick, followed by their lives. The Lucky Jew even managed to taze one before almost getting killed himself, yet on one HP he killed two more bastards with his pistol and flanked a thin man for a point blank shotgun blast.

Mission complete! Excellent performance all around if I do say so myself, and finally Dr. Vahlen is happy. I saw her singing and skipping past my office door with a large bottle of lube in hand. That poor, poor alien we captured though...

Dr. Dolly Vahlen is ready to begin the "interrogation".

Alien Necromancy

Part of my XCOM: Defenders of the Earth series!

Nigeria called, and no - it wasn't to try phish me a million dollars. It was because the aliens were digging up the dead bodies in a cemetery there, I can only assume because they were having major issues killing living humans. Sent a sniper heavy Valkyrie team composed of Ikede, Airhead, Bald Witch and sole assault Punk Chick. They sorted that mess out quick smart since the open ground made for the perfect playground for the snipers while Punk Chick took control of the central tomb. Their reward was a black sniper dude I call Gravedigger with a massive ... rifle. I'm certain they enjoyed their trip back.

Just as well because the alarm went off again, and the global news showed the aliens were altering their tactics. Punk Chick geared up again this time with Panicman, Mustachio and David to stop a terror strike on Canada. Almost immediately they came upon a pair of incredibly fast moving bug critters called GENESTEALERS... I mean, Chrysallids - literally running up to Punk Chick's face. A point blank blast from her shotgun only grazed the creature (1 dmg!) but lucky for her the rest of the team had enough firepower to bring it down.

The second one abruptly altered course to feast on a nearby civilian before being blasted to hell. This is where Punk Chick's luck ran out as suddenly the dead man rose as a zombie right next to her and in a sudden move tore out her insides and began eating them. David and Panicman put the reanimated bastard back on the floor, then the team swept up the remaining murderous jetpack boys to finish the mission.

Mission complete. Of the 18 civilians in the area initially, they saved 10. That's a pretty good result!

Probably wouldn't even have been an issue if there were more strippers in the area.