Bet your mind went straight to the gutter for a minute huh? :P
Mudrunner
Where you can literally go nowhere.
Are you tired of those other driving simulators where you test sleek prototype cars that can powerdrift at mach II? If so, Mudrunner is definitely the game for you! In it, you must select your truck - choose the correct type of carriage for your cargo and then navigate between pick up spots and drop off points before running out of fuel!
Not my idea of fun.
That's right, the entire game is pretty much slow fetch quests, as your vehicle will undoubtedly have to traverse deep sections of mud which you'll need to inch your way through while winching your vehicle from various trees and the like. Exciting right! If you want a game where you literally don't go anywhere, then Mudrunner is for you! Otherwise, if you are like me, stay away. Far far away. I give it one timber tray out of five.
Insight: SKIP IT.
Dungeons 3
Third time's the charm?
Having conquered most of the known realm, the evil lord of conquering everything (you) sets his sights on a distant continent but can't quite get his evil armies of evil across the ocean so its on to plan B - delegation!
The dark elf Thayla will be your primary champion as you wreak havoc by sending your forces from your customizable dungeon and into their overworld stronghold, all while being narrated to by Kevan Brighting. This will be a make or break for you, as the talking is near non-stop.
She also serves as the eye candy.
While I found the tutorials and interface really good I did quickly get annoyed at having to rebuild my dungeon/base each mission which is a similar reason to why I dislike Warcraft and Starcraft. If you don't mind that, and the endless banter, then you might want to give this a try. Two gobblers out of five.
Insight: You'll always need a bigger gobbler farm. :P
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