Tuesday 5 March 2019

Assassin's Creed (Movie)

The producers took "Nothing is true. Everything is permitted," to the next level... down.

Cal (Michael Fassbender) is abducted by Abstergo to relive the memories of his murderous ancestor to find a mystical doohickey. Because clearly, if instinct is passed down through genetic code, the memories of your ancestors are too!

Much like the game series this is based upon there are two stories taking place here. The "past" is great and action packed, though expect to read subtitles if you don't understand Spanish. The "present" is very spartan in comparison but the plot is a train wreck and Cal himself lets out a huge WTF not long into the story.

I should just jump off this building and end it all...

Indeed, the proceedings just get worse as the tale goes on and while I can semi-forgive the near bloodless deaths the ending here is just rushed. Either they ran out of budget, didn't know where to go, or both. Not one I recommend, play the games instead. I give this 1.5 awkward shots of Jeremy Irons out of 5.


  1. I didn't feel like I wanted my 2 hours back after seeing it. But with that said, I also don't really remember anything about the movie either, so it left no lasting impression on me either.

    I guess that means it was a "turn your brain off and munch popcorn" flick for me.

    1. Oh it's definitely a turn your brain off flick. At least you enjoyed/didn't hate it! :D