Friday 14 October 2016

Dark Souls: This is Dark Souls

Tales from Dark Souls - spoilers ahead! You can follow the rest of the story here!

This is Dark Souls: after training like mad, Ornstein and Smough still beat me easily. I thought I should fight fire with fire, by using Jolly Cooperation! While there happened to be many signs at the nearby bonfire, none of the players could connect to me. Fortunately I knew Solaire's summon sign was near the fog door so I hoofed it over there and of course, experienced Murphy's law. I was invaded and slain by a scythe wielding pvper who taught me (violently) that scythes go around shields! This is Dark Souls!

Sorry I didn't get your name Scythegirl!

In this game the way to avoid invasion is to be hollow, which is your natural state unless you use a semi special item to become fully human. Being human gives a lot of perks, heightened stats, and the ability to use summon signs for cooperative play - but it makes you a candidate for invasion. I decided I'd just have to fight O&S solo. And I was crushed. Repeatedly... this is Dark Souls!

Good lord, he gets... fatter?

But each time I'd get better. Then it happened, I managed to kill Ornstein. The result? Smough powers up tremendously and obliterates me. Of course returning to the room means both of them are alive again because this is DARK SOULS! I slaughter Smough first this time, only to have Ornstein powerup and impale me! Yes, this is Dark Souls!


I try again, and again. Sometimes getting obliterated before doing anything, but each time I learn something knew. Learn when to strike. When to dodge. When to run (which is pretty is like 80% of the time). I still f-up. I still die. This is Dark Souls!

And then finally. FINALLY, I find myself fighting super-Ornstein (after slaying Smough) - shooting gigantic lightning bolts and leaping around the hall like a mad man with his giant spear. Being point blank is his weakness. His health at half. 30%. 10%. I've almost got him! Then he does the bullshit lightning buttslam. This is DARK SOULS!!!

He shoots it out his ass too!?

But I've seen him do it before. I've seen him kill me before at this very point in the fight. I evade. Twice and run back to him. I swing my sword. He finally falls... I AM VICTORIOUS and the feeling of TRIUMPH IS AMAZING! THIS IS DARK SOULS!!!!!!!

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