Sheltered: That Time of the Month

Part of the Fate of Heroes series - spoilers ahead!

It's been over a month since the incident, and the bunker is in good shape with new recruits Dianne Davidson, Carol Hattier (another Carol!?) and Sarah the nympho (courtesy of seducing Gary the bald) adding more hands to maintain it. Outside, there seem to be encounters with a lot of violent and crazed women, who often flee after a few rounds of fisticuffs.

An encounter with a knife wielding man at a church is the last for Carol (the original) and Dennis, and Sarah's encounter with a bear proves fatal despite making it back to base. Her meat is harvested, and turns out to be a good currency to barter with when traders visit. This breaks the once battle hardened Big Mike - becoming a recluse who refuses to leave the bunker.

Knife trumps a pair of metal bars in this game.

Fortunately Gary steps up as leader when he and Christine slay a bear, and he quickly decides to recruit Brenda, Cynthia, Helen Harvey the soldier and Amy who is quite probably a cannibal - not that it matters these days. Gary's not so subtle attempt at building a harem does not go unnoticed, but his building a recycling plant in the lower floors undeniably helps to improve their bunker upgrading capabilities.

At around this time a pair of scumbags visit the bunker, demanding supplies in exchange for "protection". Their request is denied.

Sheltered: Things are Looking Up

Part of the Fate of Heroes series - spoilers ahead!

A combination of a lack of rain, a failing air filter, and Ann harvesting Stephen (quite decomposed) and Shaliquor's "meat" for uncooked consumption leads to a wave of illness in the bunker, the floor literally covered in vomit. To this end, despite the lack of gas masks, everyone except Christine (for base communications) is sent out to get some fresh(?) air, and much needed supplies.

This does not go well for William and Ann who end up as bear food, while Carol "Red" Rein is killed in a skirmish with brigands on the road. Despite the losses, the survivor count actually increases as Dennis, Gary the bald, Catherine, Amanda Bandana, and Michael Mustache are recruited by the various teams on expedition.

Could have been Ann and William in this movie.
Also, this is a terrible movie.

Most have radiation poisoning upon their return, but fortunately there is a good stash of anti-rad tablets available, thanks to Janet returning briefly to trade goods with Christine. Interestingly, Skrmischa comes back with a car part - one of eleven required to repair the broken vehicle just outside. If it can be fully repaired, they might be able to escape this place.

The sound of thunder overhead also signals the end of the drought, and despite the black rain, things are looking up.

Dark Souls II: Cool Turtle

Tales from Dark Souls - spoilers ahead! You can follow the rest of the story here!

Since the Belfry is another dead end, I revisit the Gutter next - since I have a key to a locked door there now. In a room littered with poison shooting statues I find my old armor! Erm, I mean Havel's old armor! It still weighs a ton, but with the super defense it provides I warp back to Earthen Peak more confident than ever. The climb is definitely more survivable now, and after easily defeating a giant demonic turd I am joined by Devotee Scarlett who is a bit of a punk/cleric.

You thought I was exaggerating huh?

She guides me to a nearby windmill and keeps pointing and gesturing at it until I torch the thing which makes her happy. Young people eh? There's nothing that really stops us from continuing our ascent. Even the fire sorceresses are easily slammed now, and when the pyromaniac Jester Thomas joins there is no stopping our little band. Even the medusa boss of the place had no chance. I just sat and watched as Thomas and Scarlett tore her apart.

Easiest "boss" fight so far.

They depart after that victory leaving the path open for me to a keep made of iron, sitting in a moat of lava. Because that's obviously the best place to build these things. On the approach I am invaded by Fencer Sharon who has no chance getting through my defense. After sending her packing, Armorer Dennis attacks next - and he has some cool magic sword powers. Not cool enough to win though (thank you Estus flask!). I make sure to toss his corpse into the lava so he won't show up again.

Dark Souls II: Effigy

Tales from Dark Souls - spoilers ahead! You can follow the rest of the story here!

Their camo doesn't work so well outside the fog.

Past the misty forest was an overgrown ruin, where some idiots decided to keep curses in jars. The mist guardians are here too, but without the mist they are easily dealt with. The numerous petrified lion men standing around also should have given me a hint but nope, I fell into a hole full of froggies (whose gaze petrifies people). They were easy to kill but most of my gear broke in the process.

I tried to forge ahead regardless, finding Creighton hiding up in one of the towers, still plotting his revenge on Pate. There was also a silent but non-hostile scorpion man, as well as a very hostile scorpion woman who easily killed me with her stingers. Warped back to Majula for repairs and then (finally) worked out that using a human effigy would restore my health bar to full (it's been maxing out at 50% for sometime now). Sheesh, I should have done that sooner!

Alfis' favourite spell: Create light.

With double the health, I returned to the forest of giants and found exploration much easier now. Especially since I also found an ally named Ruined Alfis to help me do so! We smashed (almost) everything in our way ultimately facing the invader, Armorer Dennis and his brigade of ninja turtles. Alfis fought Dennis to a draw while I got rid of Donatello and company and was rewarded with another bonfire! With that Alfis waved goodbye and Dennis, having lost all aggro, just wandered aimlessly. I got out of there without further hassle. 

Farcry 3: Killing is Winning

[Part of the Diary of a Marked One]

When we arrived at the temple, Riley was immediately taken away from me by the guards and Citra did a quick hello by blowing who knows what sparkly drug powder in my face. I found myself walking a fiery path until finally I came across the ancient knife once more. It was at Liza's throat, and Citra wanted me to sacrifice her to join the Rakyat tribe.

Stupid bitch. I went through all this trouble to rescue them, and to ask this of me now was idiotic. I set her and my other comrades free. In a rage Dennis tried to stab me for my insolence but stabbed Citra instead, taking that pleasure away from me. While they were in shock at the death of their leader I took advantage to do what I do best. I killed them ALL, starting with that ass hat Dennis. After all, with the "take what you want" mentality that whole tribe really was no better than the pirates they fought against.

Finally we got back to the now repaired boat to escape the island... only now my comrades looked at me with distrust for the amount of blood I had on my hands. They left me there on that shore with the rest of the murderers as they escaped into the sunset. I was a little annoyed at first, but then realized there were still plenty of Rakyat scum to eliminate and so I turned my back to the sea, reloaded my guns and headed back into the jungle to purge the world of these backward tribesmen who didn't deserve to exist in the first place.

Best and worst vacation ever.

Farcry 3: Peekaboo! Guess who?

[Part of the Diary of a Marked One]

The convoy we were ambushing was not one of pirates, but of well armed mercenaries. For a change I was glad to have fodder... ahem... I mean allies to assist in the battle. The APC we were trying to halt eventually got past the roadblock though, so it was up to me to chase it down - kill its guards and like a real hero open the door to free the captives. Only, there were no captives. Just one psycho who promptly knocked me out.

Did you miss me?

When I awoke it was to the sound of his smug voice as he told me the definition of insanity: Doing the same thing over and over. In this case, killing me. With that he kicked the cement block my feet were tied to down into a deep well where he hoped I would share the same fate as his other victims rotting in the water down there. It was not to be though, for I freed myself and stabbed my way out using a stolen knife to his nearby camp - hijacked his helicopter and ... got shot down by an RPG.

Still in a haze I crawled out of the burning wreckage to find the maniac grinning down at me again. "Have I told you the definition of insanity?" he asked once more, just before pointing his pistol at me and pulling the trigger. The world went black. And then smelly. Once again I had escaped death in a manner of speaking, but I still ended up in a mass grave. After crawling my way out of there and retrieving my gear (don't know why since it was easily replaceable), Dennis told me to go back to the temple for healing.

Farcry 3: I've got the Stones

[Part of the Diary of a Marked One]

One of the things Dennis told me was to mold the jungle to the things I needed. By that he actually meant harvesting various flora for a variety of syringes and carving up every type of animal on the island to fashion into bags, pouches, wallets and pants. While I was at it I figured I'd do the same to all the pirates I came across, liberating the entire Western part of the island from both their outposts and radio tower jammers.

For extra cash I was also taking odd jobs of hunting critters (usually with bows) or knifing bad men for justice. Most of the money I spent right away on maps to the numerous "whispering" relics (yes satan?) scattered in each region, making it easier to track them down and absorb their power. Truly, finding these small carvings did more for my combat intuition than actually going into combat. It's magic.

Eventually I found myself standing before a large stone temple in the jungle, inside which I met Citra - the "spiritual" leader of the Rakyat tribe, who also happens to be Vaas' sister. She doesn't really think much of my combat skills, despite being able to single handedly do what her tribe can't seem to handle. Seriously, these pirates with automatic rifles are losing to komodo dragons and wild dogs. It's not like defeating them is difficult, so what does that say about the Rakyat?

Your tribe sucks.

Anyway, she made me drink something that made me totally trip balls as a sort of test, concluding with telling me to find what has been lost. Not sure I'll be able to find her mind, but in the meantime I decide to cleanse the rest of the island of the pirate infestation, clearing out relics, old correspondence from japanese skeletons, and odd jobs while I was at it - like sniping some sharks. Another particular highlight was to eliminate a pack of rabid dogs... with an RPG. That was awesome.

Farcry 3: Independent Princess

[Part of the Diary of a Marked One]

Turns out the "princess" I was trying to rescue managed to get out all by herself and found refuge with a creepy, constantly stoned old doctor by the name of Earnhardt who thought she was his wife... or daughter. Either way, she was fine. She even located an old boat beneath the doc's mansion which she began to repair for our island escape. Now there's an independent girl if ever I saw one.

Perhaps she later becomes known as Samus?

Dennis soon radioed about another of my friends who wasn't as independent, and I soon found myself hoofing it over to a prison camp to try pull off a valiant rescue. I murderized all the guards on the way in but was caught off guard by Vaas himself! When I awoke, my friend Liza and I were left tied to our chairs as Vaas torched the old wooden house we were being held in - leaving us to burn alive.

Somehow I still managed to break free, rescue the girl and perform an incredibly dangerous escape via jeep. Not dangerous because of the pirates chasing and shooting at us - I had a gun for that. Dangerous because Liza was driving. We escaped from their clutches and soon I put Liza in the boat cave with the other, hotter girl named Daisy who had the boat repairs well underway. Our reunion was interrupted when Dennis radioed in again, telling me to speak to their leader who lives in a temple somewhere in the jungle.

Farcry 3: The Warrior's Path

[Part of the Diary of a Marked One]

I was pulled from the river by a mechanic named Dennis who moonlighted as a tattoo artist and a soldier of the Rakyat tribe. He brought me to his village and when I awoke he was already beginning to paint my arm with strange symbols of the heron, shark and spider which he said would make me a better warrior. To prove his point he gave me a knife and a pistol then asked me to climb a radio tower to disable some jammer the pirates had put there. Fortunately the dilapidated structure was only guarded by a snake, which still managed to bite me and slither off.

Regardless, the task was done and soon I found myself advancing with Dennis and two of his Amanaki warriors to an outpost where supposedly one of my friends was being held hostage. The feeling of the gun and blade in my hands felt natural, as did shooting the first pirate I saw in the face then flanking their encampment. While they focused fire on Dennis and his pals I snuck around and shoved my knife into the backs of as many pirates as I could. Soon enough they were all dead and the outpost was ours, however my friend was nowhere to be found.

"Your Princess is in another castle my friend."