Tuesday 21 April 2020

Postal 1 & 2

Not for kids!

Postal

So many bodies...

In this isometric shooter there is only one goal - to kill the required quota of people in each zone. There's no story, no reason why you and many of the townsfolk are armed to the teeth with high powered weaponry, just pure violence over and over again. Unfortunately that sort of thing does get old quick, and so it falls into my not worth playing category with 1 machine gun of infinite ammo out of 5. Instead of this, you should definitely try its sequel...

Postal 2

In this now dated first person shooter, Postal Dude (you) must survive one week in the inappropriately named town of Paradise while ticking off a list of seemingly mundane things. It's great that the its an open map too for most of the time, albeit with clearly marked loading screens. Towards the end of the game it becomes more of a linear shooter but it still works.

They somehow got Gary Coleman in here too.

It's a good thing you can carry loads of weapons too because as the days go by more and more people are going to be coming after you which makes pacifism impossible. In case you ever run out of ammo you can always unzip your fly and pee at people. Hitting them in the face long enough makes them gag and vomit. You can also use cats to silence your shotgun. It's that sort of game.

Despite it's age, Postal 2 is still a fun though slightly perverted game - and a challenging one on higher difficulties. Enemies will pop out of thin air and in the later stages come in large numbers. Enemy dog packs and heat-seeking rockets that must be shot down will post the most danger. If all the above interests you then I definitely recommend trying it out and give it 3 gimp suits out of 5.

Insight: Dog treats befriend dogs. Donuts lure cops. Catnip lures cats, but don't use it for that. Eat it yourself to trip balls and slow down time!

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