BDO: Secret Army

[Part of my Adventures in Black Desert Online]

The first thing I do once I reach the city is something I should have done a long time ago: upgrade my gear! Thanks to the Crow merchant guild I now am rocking some Narchillan equipment with items bought from Oasis Vendor Ellie's shop to supplement giving a significant boost to AP and DP (attack/defense power). Nice!

While doing so I learn there is an excavation taking place underneath Valencia Castle, and that King Sahazad Nesser seeks the key to unlocking a particular chamber in there. The black spirit hints that it can help, and after finding some docile golems in the desert works out that it is the very key the King is looking for.

These things are massive.

I opt to drop in on the excavation myself first, and of course it the same dig team from the very beginning again so they let me in and I quietly open the locked portal alone. Inside is a very active and talkative construct who reveals the entire Black Desert is actually the result of a meteor impact, and the black spirits and black stones within are all of alien origin. It then asks for commands as it and the army of still dormant ancient weapons (golems) like it, are ready to be unleashed on the planet.

Such power can't fall into the hands of crazy humans so I tell them to go back to sleep, reseal the chamber then lie to the excavation team and King Nesser that there is no way to open it. Surely that will solve this problem for good right?

Insight: The gear upgrade sequence in BDO goes from 1-15 then PRI, DUO, TRI, TET, and PEN. I was a bit confused at the letters until I finally did it myself.

BDO: Dragon Bandits

[Part of my Adventures in Black Desert Online]

With my previous success Prince Barhan sends me North around the desert to Shakatu's Territory. The wealthy goblin who rules that region is already a fan of mine, having witnessed my arena battle at Altinova and now wants my help to impress his esteemed visitor, Princess Saya Nesser who was after black dragon essence from the captive dragons at the nearby Gahaz bandit canyon.

There are A LOT of bandits and outside the rare female bandit who clearly uses black dragon juice with her kung fu, the short riflemen are the most dangerous. After killing a thousand of them I finally meet the bandit leader, Gahaz Tuval, who despite being a psychopath manages to convince me not to continue on my mission as his bandits didn't actually "capture" the dragons - the dragons came to them and asked for protection while hibernating.

Hmm, these dragons sleep like whales.

Also, he questions why the Nesser royals would be after such a thing in the first place as it would only be used for destruction, which is the same reason why he got the basilisk men to intercept the delivery of an ancient artifact to Prince Barhan at the Sand Grain Market. It's almost like the entire family is up to no good. I decide to investigate for myself by heading back to Valencia.

Insight: On the way to Shakatu there's a place called Cadry that was super dangerous for me not only because of the pretty tough soldiers and wizards everywhere but because my graphics card kept blacking out while fighting in there. Fortunately it can be completely avoided.

BDO: Desert Tourist

[Part of my Adventures in Black Desert Online]

For a big "empty" desert, the Black Desert actually has a lot of stuff in it. Tiny ruins with pilgrims (NPCs playing ATITD no doubt!), little oasis camps and of course the massive city of Valencia which is easily spotted from very far away.

In the tale of "Curiosity killed the Cat", don't be the cat.

I spend a few days there, lending a low-key helping hand for their eternal balloon festivals and carting various things around (like poop. I literally carted camel poop to the herbalist), but find no trace of Illezra so I continue East to the opposite end of the desert and find the small tropical beach town of Arehaza which is another cute retirement spot.

Clearly having hit a dead end in my search, I opt to retrace my steps and while doing so, rescue a merchant whose caravan was raided by basilisk men. Since the goods were meant for the Valencian Royal family I get to meet Prince Barhan Nesser, who is stationed at the Sand Grain Bazaar to report the theft. The Prince is thankful and subsequently requests my aid in getting his Katar soldiers to withdraw from the centauran conflict.

To do this I am sent as an envoy to the Bashim clan to get them to attack the centaurans instead. These satyrs are very violent, and after killing a small army of them just to talk to their chief, I am tasked with killing that number again to prove my strength before they finally agree to commit troops to the centauran war front... because killing people is the best way to make friends.
 
Insight: Each of your mounts can carry stuff too! Might be an idea to store carrots on horses and acacia leaves on camels as those are the "stam refill" items for those mounts.

Eurovision 2021

As usual I'm posting late about this again, but at least it wasn't Covid-cancelled this year! In fact, it has returned strong with some "interesting" dance moves, sparkly people, religious connotations, and a whole lot of eye candy. I'm pretty sure the Italian winners would also fit into that category for some people.

Stefania from Greece wins the eye candy prize.

My special mentions go to team Iceland and the Finland rock #joiners, as well as France and the Black Mamba band from Portugal either of whom I would have been happy to see win. Oh well, maybe my picks will do better next year! :P

The Irregulars

Diversity just because!

This high budget, one season show is set in the Sherlock Holmes era of London where crimes have taken a dark and supernatural twist. Sounds promising right? Let me dispel that for you now: Sherlock Holmes isn't the main character. It's a gang of lowly street kids who get to solve these horrible crimes because the police can't be bothered?

You know why the cops don't hire them? Because they suck.

In addition, one of the kids has psychic powers and can literally read minds with a mere touch. Despite this, they are hands down the worst detectives in history thanks to some horrible writing. The fact that the gang is strangely racially diverse is a minor point next to this. Sure, you can have an Asian girl and her white sister who likes the black kid and also make John Watson black and gay but only if your writing earns it, not just "because"!

It's a stupid show and every time something cool might happen, the writers somehow manage to make it more stupid. Not recommended at all. One zombie moaning "circle" out of five.

Mortal Kombat (2021)

"Get over here!"

Because the gods are bored and need entertainment, a tournament was designed to send the best fighters of each realm to face each other in martial arts combat. If that seems like flaky ground to base a story off, don't worry - everyone ignores the rules for said tournament anyway - just enjoy people beating each other up!

Martial arts with super powers of course!

Based on the video game franchise, the story is undoubtedly the weakest component in this - thankfully the acting, action, effects and comedy save it somewhat but not quite enough for things to make sense. One of the lesser qualms is something Juris quite elegantly said: "In a franchise with so many characters, they decided to make an new one as their main hero."

All up its an ok "turn your brain off" movie for action buffs, but don't expect much else. I give it two fatalities out of five and would probably not watch it again.

BDO: Across the Sands

[Part of my Adventures in Black Desert Online]

Following my only lead I continue East and find Prince Bareeds III and his retinue, who were also headed to Valencia, holed up at the way station of Rock Fort. Apparently the road ahead is blocked by scary centaurans (yep, centaurs) so I do some scouting and confirm the centaurs are indeed scary (since I'm undergeared for this zone)!  There aren't too many of them on the road though, so I manage to rush past into a canyon mouth which the Katar soldiers of Valencia keep secure.

A little bit beyond them is the Sand Grain Bazaar - a large trading post and settlement which sits right on the border of the great desert. It is here that I learn how to dig up muddy water, filter it, and turn it into tea - essential skills since in the desert you can get heat stroke during the day (need filtered water to cool down) and hypothermia during the night (need star anise tea to warm up). Fortunately, these two effects seem to be turned off for the time being due to the Oasis event.

The desert isn't as black as I thought it would be.

I also earn a camel (slower but more suited to desert travel) by assisting the outpost against desert nagas who are spilling out of their temple. Some of them hit hard but they don't have a great deal of HP so they are quite manageable. At last I'm ready to venture out into the sands and immediately find that the desert turns off the mini map and any quest pathing. Any navigation will have to be done the old fashioned way!

Insight: Having no mini map might be scary but only because players would be used to it by now. While the desert is kinda big, it is not overly huge. Also, you can always tell what direction you are headed in so just use real life skills to keep track of land marks (which don't move) and get a general idea of where to go. High dunes also are good to climb to spot which way to go next.