Fast X and Rebel Moon

Movies of action!

Fast X

The Fast and Furious franchise has had a lot of the strangest stuff happen in it, and I'm actually happy to report that because they slightly toned down the craziness in this one it actually makes for a more cohesive revenge plot enacted by the son of a previous villain (wonderfully played by Jason Momoa) who is out to make Dominic Torretto (Vin Diesel) suffer. Nice action pieces and good fighting sections make this an enjoyable watch, and more so if you liked the previous movies.

Rebel Moon

On a planet at the edge of the space imperium is a little village that is threatened by a large antagonistic group to provide supplies in a number of months when they plan to return. Knowing that even if they do so will mean the end of their town, they instead decide to recruit a bunch of defenders to make a stand and... wait, isn't this the plot to Seven Samurai? Well yes! Despite the start concealing it very well it definitely goes down the Seven Samurai route but with a slight variation towards the end. Interesting CGI but some of the characters feel very shoehorned in, and while this movie certainly is shorter than the original Seven Samurai it is only part one of... who knows how many.

F9 (Fast and Furious 9) and The Suicide Squad

A contrast of what to do with large casts.

F9 (Fast & Furious 9)

Plot armor front and center.

Dominic Torreto's (Vin Diesel) quiet life is interrupted when his crew come to him for help on an urgent mission which involves a lot of vehicles, explosions, and a few decent fight scenes. Plot wise though... the writers must have looked at the previous movies and said "how can we make this even more ludicrous?" They succeeded.

Gangsta's in space yo

Almost nothing makes sense in this film so if you watch it, it is purely for the spectacle of the action scenes and to see them use the "oh this character isn't actually dead" again trope which they've already previously done. Much like bloat of superhero shows these days if the writers are braver in pruning characters (especially favorites) I think it would make for a stronger series. As it stands I don't think I'd give it a second viewing and score this two space cars of five.

The Suicide Squad

A high death count makes for a great movie.

They're a fun bunch!

Much better than the previous Suicide Squad, this movie again throws criminals with special abilities into an important yet dangerous mission in a foreign country. It is funny, gory, violent and very entertaining. The main crew are quite likeable this time around, and surprisingly it is Harley Quinn (Margot Robbie) who seems to be the odd-girl out with an unnecessary side plot but she is fantastic as usual so I'll let that slide. Not much else to say other than I highly recommend it and would definitely watch it again! Four starfish out of five!

Bloodshot

So... much... ANGER!

Ray Garrison (Vin Diesel) is a special soldier with a vendetta, but thanks to some outside help he realizes this is a lie propagated by his handlers and adjusts his target accordingly. While there's nothing too unpredictable here, especially if you've watched the trailers, it is still highly entertaining to watch as the action scenes and effects are superb.

Based on a comic book.

The acting is pretty decent all around too and people that watch Outlander might enjoy seeeing Sam Heughan in an antagonist role (his accent still slips through sometimes). One has to question why the police hadn't been called on the main villain though... anyway this is definitely one for people that like superhero flicks, because that's exactly what this is! Leave your disbelief at the door. I give it 3 wheat bags out of 5 and would definitely like to watch it again.

The Fate of the Furious

Suspension of disbelief in overdrive.

Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel) and crew are quite an accomplished lot now, what with having around 7 movies under their belt. It's for this reason Cypher (Charlize Theron) decides that the only way to best them is to simply turn Dom against them.

The result is a fantastical action packed movie with some crazy stunts, nice action sequences, many unbelievable plot points, graphical hacking (lol), and quite a number of very nice automobiles (which is mandatory in this series). Your suspension of disbelief will be well and truly tested, more so than any previous Furious movie.

This is far from the most ridiculous part.

It's also great that they have plot continuity from the previous films and that there are many returning faces. Definitely entertaining if you can turn your brain off for long enough. I give it 3 crucifix necklaces out of 5 and would definitely watch it again. For best effect, you should at least watch the previous 2 movies in the franchise though.

Chronicles of Riddick

"He's the holy half dead who has seen the underverse."

How Karl Urban said that line with a straight face is amazing. Also, I'm not sure why he's and (the woman) are in this movie. Faced with galactic annihilation from the Borg Necromongers a race of zealot converts, prophecy dictates that the future of the universe is in the hands of one man: a convict on the run (Vin Diesel).

Riddick is in fine form for this sci-fi action flick (apart from the crazy wig at the start) as he ventures from world to world stirring up trouble as he does. The CGI is good as are the set pieces but it is the Necromongers who let this film down. I'm not sure they themselves (the extras) know what they are supposed to be other than "barbarian raiders".

That's a lot of axe heads... afraid you'll miss?

Also their whole motto of "you keep what you kill" is riddickulous (yes I used that word) and it just feels like they were thrown together from a bunch of half baked ideas. At least the final fight is sort of cool? Still, didn't need Karl Urban. So far this is the weakest of the Riddick movies, and I give it two and a half boob shots out of five.

Pitch Black

"Remember that moment."

This film follows a group of people who survive crashing into a seemingly barren alien planet. Despite the name, almost the first half of it is in broad daylight as the party realizes the planet has more than one sun, and never has night. When people start dying they suspect the dangerous convict Riddick (Vin Diesel) of the crime but soon learn that he's not the one they have to be afraid of.

Rocking the shotgun in handcuffs look.

Solid story telling, great ideas, decent acting and passable CGI make this survival film enjoyable. I'm sure most of you would have seen it by now but I still don't want to give spoilers on the off chance there are those who haven't. Yes, it's quite dated but I still highly recommend it, especially if you are a Vin Diesel fan. I give it four personal grooming appliances out of five.

Blaugust Staying Motivated: Much of this week I've simply not been in the mood to write. This is where being prepared pays off as you can just cash it in.

The Last Witch Hunter

By iron and fire!

Vin Diesel cannot die. Not just because he's the hero, but because he is "cursed". Man, I wouldn't mind having a curse like that! Through the centuries he's been keeping the witch population in check. Violently.

Thankfully the curse, while gimmicky, actually works into the story somewhat, and it's good to see a whole bunch of familiar faces as the supporting cast: the likes of Michael Caine, Frodo Elijah Wood, and Ygritte "You know nothing, Jon Snow" Rose Leslie.

Flaming swords are cool!

Effects and action wise is really good too, with a particularly interesting take on a bone golem. Amazingly there are more plot holes here than in Terminator: Genisys, but again it's a fun ride and surprisingly one I wouldn't mind watching again. I give it three flaming swords out of five.

The Fast and the Furious: Five to Seven

Fast Five

Only one way to quit being a criminal, and apparently that's by doing a big crime.

Carrying on right after the fourth installment, the crew are now all wanted by the police - more so when a "botched job" gets a number of DEA agents killed. Having had enough of this BS the FBI decides to send in their best hunter (Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson) and his team to hunt down those dastardly thieves once and for all. To make matters more interesting, the same botched job also pisses off another wealthy bad guy who is out for blood to get back what is his. Deciding it's time to quit the criminal life, Dom (Vin Diesel) plans one last big heist and assembles a team composed of characters from all the previous movies. For me, especially having watched everything in sequence, this is pretty cool.

I'd be worried too if The Rock got me in a headlock!

It then turns into a little bit like Ocean's Eleven, only with more cars involved and while it also makes for a longer movie it also makes it better! They've added a ton more violence, fighting and gun play here and while they've slowly been upping the kill count I think this one certainly holds the highest so far. While there is less actual racing, the few races present actually have more meaning or are more interesting than the previous ones. I quite liked the cop car one as that was the most level playing field the characters have had for awhile.

I suppose I should also mention that there's a fair bit of Portugese in the film being set in Rio and all, and that Gal Gadot is hot, but the important part is that I give this movie four tires out of five and would definitely watch it again. I even watched all the credits this time to watch the CGI race at the end! All up, this sequel better than the initial outing!

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Furious 6

Where the writers thought... what other vehicles can we throw in there?

Best FBI hunter man (The Rock) is hunting another band of thieves in fast cars, this time with a more military background, but since they are too slippery for him (seriously, does he catch anyone on his own?) he is forced to ask help from the now "retired" Dom and his team. To help convince him he does have an interesting hook - one of Dom's old pals is working for the competition. That, and pardons for his crew if he gets the job done. I quite like the opening credits to this one as it has snippets from all the movies that have come before.

With most of the cast returning from the previous movie, it's pretty cool that they get to combat a rival team this time who are driving modified F1s, and it's refreshing that they aren't going up against "another cartel boss". Luke Evans is a welcome and more hands on bad guy from the previous bunch and while there's certainly still killing and shooting, there's less of that than the previous flick and more focus on hand to hand here. I was most impressed with Gina Carano's fights in particular. Once again there is also awesome CGI and a high volume of vehicular destruction also gets the thumbs up from me.

Good luck catching this!

Despite all this there are quite a number of negatives for me - the main one being some ridiculously over the top action sequences that break suspension of disbelief. There's also an unnecessary trip by one character into "danger" which is basically filler and could have been cut out. I should also mention that the chicks in the London street racing scene are the most conservative so far, which could be a plus or minus depending how you look at it. Ultimately I score this film three and a half tires out of five and... yeah, I'd still watch it again. :P

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Furious 7

The first movie that actually happens after Tokyo Drift.

The big bad brother of the bad guy from the previous movie is the main bad now, and has sworn vengeance on Dom and his team (most of whom return again here). For me he is even better villain than his brother since he mostly works alone, and he's Jason Statham! His intro scene is bloody fantastic. Unfortunately, for a supposedly ultimate deadly assassin he makes ever increasing faulty judgement calls. The main one probably being warning his mark that he's coming for him.

They finally find an excuse to dress up!

Yes, there are car chases here - and again with new vehicles to chase and be chased by them combined with over the top BS CGI physics that I was hoping they'd steer away from but it's almost on the same level as last time. At least the hand to hand combat is epic, this time with Ronda Rousey and Tony Jaa showing off their skill. It's really the flaws of Statham's assassin that get me because ... gah... logic!? Just be sneaky and you'll win! Anywho, I still give it three and a half tires out of five like last time since it was pretty entertaining and yeah, I'd watch it again.

I also was quite touched by all the feels for Paul Walker near the end there, possibly because I watched all the movies in sequence. At the same time I was impressed that they managed to make the rest of the film with body doubles, CG replacements and voice and film snippets for his character. That did get it some bonus points from me.

The Fast and the Furious: 3 & 4

The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift

This movie actually happens somewhere during the credits of Furious 6. :P

There's an all new cast this time around, mainly focusing on an adrenaline and car-racing junkie (Lucas Black) and due to getting into trouble early on is sent to live with his dad in Tokyo. He quickly gets into old habits and gets himself into trouble with yakuza because... Japan! And ultimately learns to take responsibility for his actions. It's a pretty basic plot, but at least the different setting is refreshing. Don't expect to have escaped the "gansta" music though - now you just get it in Japanese. Obviously there's some Japanese spoken too.

Positives: It looks like they learned their lesson from last time and have less "talking while racing" as well as less "special FX while racing" with pretty intense and impressive stunt work happening - mostly focused on drifting as the title might give away. Also, despite being pretty "late" in the chronological order of things because it was made earlier than the in between movies it offers almost no spoilers. What I like most about it is they aren't shy about showing what happens to cars when you crash. There is a -lot- of automotive damage in this movie. I also quite liked the Initial D feel of the mountain race. Han is very cool.

You might not know it yet, but I'm actually the main character.

Negatives: There are also -lots- of party scenes. I mean LOTS (possibly more than the last two movie combined), most of which could have been cut out since they serve just as background while main characters walk from point A to B. This is probably to get the most out of all the scantily clad extras everywhere. Think Miku from the last movie x50. Also, while there is less "talking while driving dangerously", they didn't get rid of it altogether. One of the silliest scenes for me is two characters having a heart to heart while drifting down a mountain at speed, and the "driver" is obviously not driving thanks to her poor position.

All up I think those two sections balance each other out so I'm forced to just give this film two tires out of five. I also have no intention of watching it again.

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Los Bandoleros

Takes the gear to the next level... down. Possibly two levels down.

I'm not sure what the point of this 20 minute little film is as the plot basically focuses on Vin Diesel recruiting people for the next movie below. It also does a pretty poor job of explaining why he is targeting oil - because the price is going up so he's going to give it away ala Robin Hood to the poor.

Logically, if you do that the oil companies would just increase the price even more? Moron. Anyway, there's no racing to be had here and most of the average camera work film is in Spanish. I don't know why, but despite all that I kinda enjoyed the slower pace of it. I guess I've taken a liking to his crew! Still, I can only give this one tire out of five, and don't really have a need to watch it again. You won't miss much for skipping it.

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Fast and Furious

Welcome back Vin. We missed you!

In this fourth film, Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel) is up to his old tricks again with a few familiar faces in the Caribbean. Unfortunately, his decision to try protect his girl friend by leaving her (really, that's a stupid move) goes incredibly bad and leads to him on a vengeance quest again an unknown cartel boss. Cop guy from the first movie is also back and happens to be hunting the same guy so a team up sounds pretty logical, but only after they get their machisimo out of the way.

Sports cars vs 4 Wheel Drives?

Like movie number two, this movie has the bad guy hiring drivers to deliver stuff which happens to be their "in" to the organization - pretty damn convenient if you ask me. Also, you are now treated to Mexican "Gangsta" music. Admittedly I'm getting used to hearing this genre now, which quite made the more regular acoustic songs of Los Bandoleros a refreshing change.

They also learned from the overuse of party scenes from Tokyo Drift and made an interesting, compressed one where you actually are still interested in what's going on. At the same time they kept the car destruction high which is awesome. Anyway I think this one is back on the same level as the first movie so I give it three tires out of five but again, have no interest in giving it a second watch through.

The Fast and The Furious (1 and 2)

[Day 29 of Blaugust 2015!]

The Fast and the Furious

As seen by a non-car enthusiast.

A band of skilled thieves are hijacking shipments on the road because they have the stunt driving skills to do so. Who cares if it's quite reckless, has more variables and is way more dangerous than stealing stationary targets right? Anyway, the cops send forth an undercover agent (Paul Walker) to infiltrate the group of their top suspect: one Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel), who also happens to be involved with illegal street races and such. Complications arise when undercover man starts falling for Dom's sister.

You did not just give away spoilers, did you?

Obviously this flick is for car buffs, which is why I totally skipped out on the entire series previously as I don't even like driving. However, I quite liked the acting, the action filled story, and the pretty good automotive stunt work which is kind of essential in a film such as this. I was a bit impartial to the "gangsta" type music, but I suppose it is most suited to that scene so that's fine. I do give it bonus points for good use of red herrings and having a nameless truck boss who totally kicks everyone's butt at the end. All up I give it three tires out of five, though I'm in no rush to see it again.

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Turbo-Charged Prelude

This six minute music clip (because there are no spoken lines) follows Paul Walker's trek down to Miami which is where the next movie takes place. There's literally nothing that happens so unless you are a fan of this franchise, Paul Walker, or cops wearing plastic bags on their hats then you would be better off skipping it altogether. For those who enjoy "completeness" you can find it here.


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2 Fast 2 Furious

Dey B 2 gansta 4 me.

Really title? Really? Anyway, the cop from last time is back, and since he is still racing in "underground" races this immediately attracts the FBI to recruit him for another undercover job which involves transporting dirty money for some cartel guy. Some silly one liner reason is thrown out as to why this is -the only way- to bust said cartel fellow, but hero cop can't do it alone so he recruits an old buddy (never seen before) who hates his guts.

This new character gets a thumbs up from me as his character progression is pretty likable, as does the pretty cool Tej. I suppose I should also mention that the female cast is more sexualized here too, for no other reason than "hey, they're hot". Might be a problem for some, but that's nothing compared to the rest of the problems.

Appropriate garage attire.

While I do appreciate that the "team" is smaller now and thus has less superfluous characters than number one, there are problems with the actual driving portions for me, which is probably worse if you are a car fanatic. Yes, there are mass driving stunts near the end but for the most part there's heavy use of pretty good FX during the earlier drives. I still would have preferred to see actual driving though? Also, there is a hell of a lot more talking while driving. Ever see a comic panel where Wolverine is in mid air about to stab someone and somehow manages to say three sentences? It's like that. Stupid.

In addition to a weaker story than the first movie I give this outing 2 tires out of 5, and isn't 1 I want to watch again.

Guardians of the Galaxy

[Post #29 of the Blaugust Challenge!]

Hey, a somewhat current movie for a change! This story follows Peter Quill (aka "Starlord"), a rogue who unknowingly gets his hands on an important and powerful artifact and is subsequently chased by those who want its power and those who want the huge bounty on his head. Apart from the start, most of his interactions are with aliens of all colours who happen to be humanoid, some of whom look rather silly but hey - maybe aliens ARE just people with face paint? You'll probably overlook that for all the high quality CGI going on though. There are spaceships and explosions and 70's tunes aplenty and while some sections might make you go "WTF", the plot is quite enjoyable to watch having a good blend of comedy and tragedy.

Just give him back his walkman.

Now a quick word about my favourite character in the movie: it's tree-form Vin Diesel. You'd never know if you didn't read the credits. He also only says variations of one line so while it might have been an easy paycheck, this silly tree plays a big part in making the movie work for me. That's a pretty hard task when you think about it movie wise: you're introducing all these aliens who folks won't really identify with, or know about beforehand unless they were comic junkies. Definitely one I can recommend people to see, I give Guardians of the Galaxy four cassette tapes out of five.

Blaugust Bonus: I should just say writing prompt time huh? Belghast's topic for today is "What is the most thankless job in gaming?  I am trying to keep this broad on purpose because I am not meaning the holy trinity. There are so many roles from ore farmer, to sniper that are played in various games. What one gets the least credit?".

I think I'll be one of the choir here and say Healers (trinity or not). They are often the first scolded when a team fails doing something which is one of the reasons I avoid that class. I also try to be self sufficient so that I never should actually -need- a healer to survive. Hey if the paper rogue/stealthy guy can do it I'm not sure what's wrong with everyone else.

The "thankless" part of the question is pretty across the board though. "Thanks team," or "thanks for the revive," are the most common I hear these days. I've heard "Thanks for keeping us alive healer person," just as much as I hear "Thanks for killing that monster killer person,". If you're wondering, that number is zero.

Riddick (2013)

[Post #25 of the Blaugust Challenge!]

This is actually the third film of the Riddick series, where we find antihero Vin Diesel abandoned on a remote planet inhabited by many awesome CGI creatures that all want to kill him. In a bid for freedom he decides to alert random bounty hunters to try come and get him while he basically makes a play to steal their spaceship to escape (he's a nice guy :P). It's also pretty funny that in the second "arc" of the movie it is Riddick who is the monster, with panicked bounty hunters getting taken down by the incredibly sneaky Furyan.

You might say that in some parts. :P

Plot wise it's ok, though due to it being action focused it is very light and some people do really stupid things. There are also some parts that may not make sense if you didn't watch the very good Pitch Black and less good Chronicles of Riddick but you get enough information to get by. Be warned, your questions of how he manages to be so sneaky will never be answered. With a decent amount of action, some comedy, a little bit of full frontal female nudity and a lot of very well done CGI monsters who have a decent budget and aren't afraid of broad daylight, I give it three and a half bullets out of five.

Blaugust Bonus: Like Riddick, I like to play as sneaky yet violent characters in games. My avatars usually have more hair though. My standard order of preference begins with someone that has a stealth mechanic followed by someone that can easily out range opponents with use only of conventional (world dependent) means. I like the idea of magic or super powers existing but that doesn't mean I want to be one of the people using them. In fantasy worlds this usually leads me to playing a rogue or ranger type. My least favorite classes are any that rely on "magic" (either for damage or healing) followed by the straight up fighters and tanks. Being able to stand toe to toe against a boss is nice, but being able to beat the same boss without ever being hit is even better.