For the King: A New Priestess

[Part of the Cursed story line]

Since the keys to the armory at Ravenhook were lost during the goblin siege, Lucia decides to gear up the old fashioned way: piracy. She, Sunbro and Sahkarov raid other vessels and enemy camps near the shore to improve their equipment and supplies.  It is slow going however, and with impatience getting the better of her she leads the team into a temple of ice said to hold untold treasures.

Piracy is all the rage in these parts!

Alas, Sunbro is speared through the heart by a merling guardian while Sahkarov and Lucia are captured by its wizard master. Over the next few days Lucia, who was stripped and placed in a small cell, is horrified to watch the wizard transfer Sahkarov's soul and consciousness into that of a guardian snowman, like one of the many they destroyed on the way in. "What are you going to do to me?" she asked in a trembling voice.

The wizard laughed. "To you? Nothing you haven't already done to yourself!"

Lucia was confused as to what he meant, but after a few more days she didn't care. In fact, as the cold began to feel quite nice against her skin her memories from before the wizard's dungeon began to fade, including that of her precious sister and even her own name. Eventually, the wizard simply let her out of her cell with a bow. "Welcome, priestess."

The priestess ran her hand through her magic locks and grinned.

Insight: Two classes you should work on unlocking are the Herbalist, who collects free herbs anytime they finish on wilderness areas or on their turn in dungeons and the Lumberjack who is a superior version of the Blacksmith starting class. Also, your tank should ALWAYS be the middle character as that position takes the most damage with enemy AoE.

For the King: Magic Hair

[Part of the Cursed story line]

Sahkarov was impressed that Lucia decided to give the sizeable haul and all the vessels of the pirates to the authorities. Hildebrandt, a representative of the court in the region, immediately used the funds to pay the dock workers and get naval shipping back on track, as well as rewarded the trio with a small vessel for their efforts. Soon the group is sailing into colder weather, and back to where Lucia hopes to reunite with her sister.

It is a short crossing to reach the snowy North continent, and they make for the village of Ravenhook which is under attack from frost goblins! After three waves (of increasing difficulty) the village is saved but they report the other towns are also under attack by a multitude of other aggressive beasts that are too strong for the trio to currently face. Instead they decide to visit a ruined church where the leader of the frost goblins makes camp. She is not a frost goblin at all but some sort of Foul Priestess!

With cronies!

Despite her strong magic she is defeated, and sensing power coursing through her locks, Lucia decides to shave them off the priestess' head and use them for herself - much to Sunbro's concern. "Don't worry," Lucia assured him. "I just want us to get as strong as possible, as fast as possible." Lucia could already feel her magic powers increasing, but she wasn't sure that it would be enough.

Insight: In "Frost Adventure" the further North in the map you go, the more cold damage you take if you end in a place with no fire (camp or town).

For the King: To get a Boat

[Part of the Cursed story line]

The Midnight Woods was appropriately named for blocking out the sun and was home to bats, goblins, kobolds, skeletons and ghosts. It was the perfect place for Ferghus to hide his vault of embezzled funds which he acquired in his new position as the Farhul boating manager (turns out being a blacksmith didn't work out for him), but he didn't count on having a trio of brothers from Dragonarm raid his vault, defeating his trio of skeletal bard guardians (yes, musical skeletons because Ferghus is cheap)! Vowing vengeance, there was little more he could do than hide from the law and hide from his failure...

Skeleton guitarists are awesome!

"Sorry, no one is working until we get paid," said the clearly grumpy dock hand as he sat idle on a barrel. "But I need a boat to find my sister!" argued Lucia in frustration, to little effect. She returned to her two companions with the news.

"It's alright little one," said old man Sahkarov, a retired soldier who had helped Lucia recover from a near death experience. "There are other ways to get a boat."

Sunbro, who now served as Sahkarov's guardian, smiled and nodded. The man was always quiet and had a strange practice of praising the sun each morning, but he had a muscular build that was befitting a tournament champion. That strength would soon be needed as the trio found themselves a rowdy tavern hidden in the woods. A tavern full of pirates spending their ill gotten gains!

"Gentlemen," Sahkarov announced as they entered the establishment. "I need your ship."

"Ye can't afford it mate!" laughed one with missing teeth. His fellows heartily joined in. Sahkarov smiled quietly.

"I wasn't asking."

Before they realized in, Sunbro was upon them - smashing heads into tables, breaking limbs in manners that they should not bend, and ripping apart jaw bones with his bare hands. Lucia looked on in shock.

"You disapprove?" asked Sahkarov, still standing at the doorway with his hands clasped behind his back. He smiled as Lucia was unable to answer.

Insight: "Gold Rush", which takes place in the Midnight Woods, is actually the competitive mode of the game in which your three heroes work against each other. Ironically, it also is a great place for beginners to get the hang of the mechanics before having any time limits imposed on them - which happens on most of the other modes.

Battle Brothers: Retirement

Part of the Fate of Heroes series - spoilers ahead!

Retired as a rich man, Sahkarov purchases a keep and pretty much buys his own little fiefdom near the sea where his allies of House Ruhmolt are glad to have him. Scribes visit regularly to notate the impressive adventures he and the Spears have had as the remaining members all went their own ways.

Ragner and Rollo took to pirating on the seas, Sir Erland left on a quest to hunt down a "dragon", while Sunbro became a champion of the noble house tournaments. Sir Winfred Steinhart, Wilrech and Ulfert joined another mercenary band to try destroy a goblin city but never returned.

Too bad I never ran into a Lindwurm.

The last surviving member, Raven Skinny Bastard would visit Sahkarov often - still with a mind to build up a company strong enough to reach the Black Obelisk. Whether the ex-juggler would actually achieve such a goal would have to be a tale for another time.

Battle Brothers: Path of Peace

Part of the Fate of Heroes series - spoilers ahead!

Having lost face, Sir Winfred Steinhart asks to join the Spears - which Sahkarov agrees to despite Sunbro's protests. Sahkarov also convinces Ulfert the pimp, who was part of the entertainment caravan, to abandon his sinful ways of and join them instead (because murder is better than lust apparently).

The Spears defend the mountain town of Finsterkoppen against leftover orc marauders, joined by the local militia and the brothers Ragner and Rollo Eagle Eye. They are successful, though all but one militia man dies and Ragner loses an ear.

With the blood still fresh on the ground, Sir Winfred and Sunbro are dueling again - this time for real. Sahkarov manages to use his priestly ways to talk them both down, earning another recruit - Wilrech the apprentice. The company then completes more hunts, reclamation quests, and a lot of envoy escort missions becoming the premier troop the nobles want to hire for such treks.

The company goes on to survive undead ambushes, more orc marauders, and a skirmish against House Grimmund soldiers when the Spears rescue a Lord of Folsach from a prison wagon. Sahkarov earns a broken knee during the jail break and finally, having been with the company for over a year now, the monk decides to retire.

Wise enough to know when to fold.

Battle Brothers: Warriors to the End

Part of the Fate of Heroes series - spoilers ahead!

While at the tavern, a contingent of House Grimmund soldiers arrive to announce that the war is over! The main horde is retreating into the wild lands, and any clans that remain can be wiped out without the need for mercenaries. Gander is still relieved, and when Sunbro jokingly asks for a raise for all the troops Gander happily agrees.

Despite the news, the Spears are given clean up duty - destroying an orc base in the rainy mountains where Hanke and Adam Chaplin are slain and one of the magic shields is cleaved in two! Gander returns the company to hunting thieves, dire wolves and easier escort missions for a bit - even enjoying a stint with a caravan of women offering the oldest profession. For 300g it's a bargain!

Escorting the caravan up the mountain the team fights off goblin raiders as well as large bands of brigands led by Ingolf the Red. Sir Lancel manages to slay Ingolf, but he and Gander fall in battle, leaving the monk Sahkarov now in charge. Upon arrival at their destination a rotund Grimmund knight named Sir Winfred Steinhart makes fun of the company, leading to a jousting contest between him and Sunbro Forever.

Sunbro easily puts him in his place.

Battle Brothers: The Ruins of Kragenheim

Part of the Fate of Heroes series - spoilers ahead!

After rescuing the survivors of Stakendorf, Stargazer injures himself while training as the Spears are sent to clear the Ruins of Kragenheim. The resident goblins have superior positioning and a shaman to boot who continually casts AoE root spells. The magic and the net throwing skirmishers makes advancing an arduous task. Hakon is pretty much useless the entire fight as he never succeeds in freeing himself.

The fleet footed gobbos get to work dismantling the rest of the team, dismembering Sir Wilhelm, cutting down Arl Eamon, Reimund, and Gaius, removing one of Raven's ears and breaking Sunbro's elbow before Gander finally reaches the shaman and impales it with the company battle standard. The remaining enemies are subsequently cut down easily.

And their corpses put on display.

Weakened and in low morale, Gander pulls the Spears back to the safer Eastern cities for an easy nachzehrer hunt and to resupply rations. While doing this the horde advances and destroys Gerworld village.

Battle Brothers: Slightly Winning

Part of the Fate of Heroes series - spoilers ahead!

Camping just beyond sight of the artifact's resting place - the Spears spend a few days in low morale to repair their gear and recover from lesser injuries. Gander then raises the banner and leads the remaining men back into the fray where fortunately the skeletons they previously destroyed were still scattered on the snow.

Using the same tactic, the team is victorious this time with Sunbro again being the MVP, though Agdan falls in battle and has to be re-slain. During this, Stargazer discovers you can actually swipe weapons off the ground - meaning when Agdan reanimated, he was defenseless. A good trick to know for next time.

Because unarmed zombies are not really a threat.

Gander notes none of the brothers who fell earlier are to be found anywhere, which makes him both sad and worried. Still, the gem artifact is located as well as a magical shield which now goes to the second most experienced brother, Stargazer. Finding this rare artifact lifts spirits tremendously.

The Spears decide their next ambition is to end this cursed undead plague, and begin the long march back to hand in the artifact. Rumors in the towns they pass is that they are already "slightly winning"! Gander is happy to hear the company is also now considered legendary.

Battle Brothers: The Siege of Wiesendorf

Part of the Fate of Heroes series - spoilers ahead!

By the time the company reaches Wiesendorf, it is already under siege by zombies. Fortunately Sir Donatus Donbert and his men are already there thinning the herd. After the easy fight, Donatus bids the Spears good luck as he has orders to protect another town further East. The Spears and the local militia hunker down to build defenses.

I suppose it's a little like the opening intro for Neverwinter Online.

It's not long till the next wave arrives, skeleton warriors who - while fortunately don't reanimate when slain - are much better fighters than the zombies. Gander's trauma from the earlier vampire encounter flares up here, and due to him fleeing Gillian suffers a broken elbow and a diseased wound while R4W3C is shield bashed off his high ground, right into a skeleton swarm who hack him to pieces.

There is not much of a rest after breaking that wave when the next arrives, even more skeletons who are better equipped. The local militia die in droves as the Spears scramble with armor and shield breaking axes. Kruglov is impaled by an ancient spear man through the heart.

Defeating them only leads to the final wave of undead with even more skeleton warriors and pikemen. With all the militia dead (and re-killed thanks to zombification) the Spears throw everything they have with Sunbro earning his keep in kills. In the battle, Tolik is cut down, Majorn sacrifices himself (bleeds out) to slay the final spearman, and Faltran is disemboweled.

Battle Brothers: Good Times

Part of the Fate of Heroes series - spoilers ahead!

Despite the mounting injuries, the Spears take on a contract to eliminate a small orc encampment. On the way Majorn finds a necromatic site he declares they must cleanse, so the Spears take on the usual zombies and necromancer, but this time with two fallen heroes flanking the mage.

They are quite sturdy which is bad given the lesser zombies keep standing up, but Raven manages to axe the shield off one which enables the Spears to pincushion it to death. The other is peppered with arrows until Bes singlehandedly defeats it  - much to Sunbro's amazement.

Useful when you actually have people that can shoot.

At the orc camp the team encounters berserkers leading the regular orcs. These scary creatures don't wear armor though, making them prime archery practice. Fanatic was foolish enough to let one get close and knock him on the head, leaving him with permanent brain damage (ironically one of the best permanent injuries to have in this game).

Apprehending some thieves afterwards, Big Mike is happy to report to the company they now have over 50,000 coins in funding. Gander further cheers everyone up with a cow tipping session (lol) and as icing on the cake, Sunbro reports the nobles are discussing terms. The war is over!

When he asks with true concern if the Fabled Spears of the Church are now going to disband, he is met with laughter and cheer. "Not bloody likely!"

Battle Brothers: Supply Line

Part of the Fate of Heroes series - spoilers ahead!

Having made enemies of all the mountain towns of House Grimmund, the Spears spend some time back in the low lands - defending the Western border against goblin raiders who now come mounted on wolves. Pioyer loses an eye in one such skirmish.

Damn their pointy pikes!

After some days they are asked to help a large and important supply caravan reach Gerwold - the town they helped take earlier. As such Faltran and Big Mike feel indebted to do the task. It's smooth sailing at first until they reach the foot hills where a large and well equipped bandit force ambushes them.

Kamots is clubbed to death from behind and Sir Julien is beheaded before the bandits are fought off. The survivors then have to deal with a Grimmund militia force also sent to stop the caravan. While the militia captain is fantastic in keeping his forces from fleeing, they simply don't have the equipment to win the battle.

Finally the caravan reaches Gerwold, and the Spears are paid. Thanks to their now glorious name, the veteran knight and survivor of horrors, Sunbro Forever joins the company. Big Mike, also now recovered fully from Hoggart's torture, decides to take up arms on the field beside the men he commands.

Dark Souls III: The Spears of the Church

Tales from Dark Souls - spoilers ahead! You can follow the rest of the story here!

The boss fight inside the church is one of the most devious in Dark Souls. While there is a respawning painting assassin NPC during the fight, the main boss is... another player. Yes. I hope you've been practicing your PvP skills because one of the many crazies who enjoy ruining the day for others will be summoned as "your boss fight", and given the people who sign up for this covenant would be the ones who PvP at every opportunity - lets just say are not novices.

Said opponent cannot use Estus heals which is great, but everything else in their arsenal seems to be ok. They also get an AoE spear summon and an automated magic spear spell hovering above them (at least I think its automated). The "Spears of the Church" Faltran and Bloodfire did their duty of blocking my progress. Rather than hoping one will just throw the fight (which probably isn't going to happen, given the game) I decided to tilt the battle to my favor as much as possible, summoning sunbro Andraste to assist and coating my axe with the bleed buff.

Pre-combat shot. The fighting is too intense later to take screenies.

Spear of the Church Anayaki still put up a good fight, but with my tricks and a late "suddenly switch opponent" tactic by Andraste and me, Anayaki was caught unprepared for an axe to the back. Being unsure of who to block against next ensured both of us hit which ended the boss fight in our victory. Thank you Andraste! Funny that someone named after a goddess/saint helped me get through this section! ;)

Darkest Dungeon: We were rewarded with Madness

Reports from Darkest Dungeon - spoilers ahead! You can follow the rest of the story here!

The gods smile upon us. Elizabeth, Alvinia and Shaliquor, Dr. Vahlen and the short in stature Skrmischa somehow found the way through the third floor of the dungeon, which had been twisted into living flesh and tissue. Their foes consisted of mammoth, beholder like cysts and horrific antibodies that could teleport them around the massive map. Despite all being near death, and hopelessly lost they still managed to find victory.

It was then my turn in what turned out to be the final floor where Kokabeel, Rocket Man, Sunbro Forever and I faced... the grounds keeper Penultimo? The mad man was in fact the wizard behind all the creatures here, and his mastery of sorcery was impressive but not unstoppable. It was only when he fused himself with the heart of darkness that his true power was revealed - unmaking Rocket Man and Kokabeel from existence before Sunbro and I finally put an end to his horrible life. It is just as well that we fought him now before the creature got stronger or we would not have had any chance.

As it is, he could already do this...

So this is what victory feels like, yet on the faces of those who descended into the Darkest Dungeon I can tell that their minds will be forever haunted by the experience. I imagine the Joining is the only thing that is keeping me sane right now... which is why I can write this. The nightmares are getting stronger though... if I make it out of this place I think it is time for me to take the long walk... the Calling, before it is too late.

-Agdan, Grey Warden

Darkest Dungeon: Destroy. Them. All.

Reports from Darkest Dungeon - spoilers ahead! You can follow the rest of the story here!

As Catharina expected the brigands returned to lay siege to the town again at 0800 today, but this time my team composed of Elvis, Gwyndolin, Catharina and myself which was specifically waiting in the wings for this moment surgically removed the terrorist leader and explosives expert Vvulf - using "stunning" uppercuts no less. The many remaining tangos then fled back into the forest where no doubt they will regroup but probably not for sometime.

The brigand leader: slain!

Afterwards, teams sent to the cove and ruins have successfully cleared both locations of hostiles. The "cats", Sunbro Forever, Rocket Man and Catharina took down the final drowned crew - which I'm told was an easy task since the "cats" could resist their magical anchor somehow. They then went on with Dr. Shen, Techno Viking and Lu Lingqi to eliminate the gibbering prophet at the ruins.

Our focus now turns to the so called "Darkest Dungeon". While most of the veterans are gearing up to recon that site, Zermu Terlu has been elected to manage forays against the remaining enemies in the Weald with our latest batch of recruits. Supposedly he has experience in this sort of thing. Honestly, they don't look like much right now, but I'm hoping they prove me wrong.

-Big Mike

Darkest Dungeon: Chain of Command

Reports from Darkest Dungeon - spoilers ahead! You can follow the rest of the story here!

More welcome aid keeps arriving in town, the last batch being strangers from another time. I can only hope this rumor of people questioning my leadership doesn't distract people from our goal here. If anything I'd make Abbess Feeva my second, having seen her in action personally.

Her arrival was fortuitous as one of our other healers, Myria, was recently decapitated by a head collector - a death so gruesome that it supposedly gave Sellsword Luet a fatal heart attack upon witnessing it. With her healing, Gough, Redbeard and I managed to finally take down the (non-apprentice) necromancer in the ruins.

She then accompanied Bill, Vengarl and Hunter O'Harrah to slay the sodden crew - a group of drowned pirates in the Cove. She also was crucial in helping MoGG, Mina Petrova and Sunbro Forever in slaying the Alluring Siren in that same, sahaughin infested vista. Alas Hawkeye Gough fell victim to these fish folk while scouting the way to the siren. His archery skills will be missed.

A team that is chained and drowned together, stays together.

-Fawadin

Darkest Dungeon: A Call for Election

Reports from Darkest Dungeon - spoilers ahead! You can follow the rest of the story here!

Yo, like Lenigrast was the man this week. He didn't take no shiiz from Fawadin and went out there and kicked some serious ass! It was him, me, Sunbro Forever and Sellsword Luet that went to the pig crib and put a cap in that swine prince POS and that midget piglet Wilbur. People say that dude's always been some king's assistant, but now he's back in bacon form. I know right!?

Anywayz after that Leni goes with Myria, Ser Sad, and the big guy - Gough into the Weald right and put down that ugly mama the wizened hag. Yeah, too bad that witch cooked up Ser Sad in her soup pot before they could ice her but its still one less ugly out there for us to worry about.

That's a crappy way to go.

Leni - my man, you should be the leader - not this Fawadin fool!

-MoGG

Dark Souls II: Ebony and Ivory

Tales from Dark Souls - spoilers ahead! You can follow the rest of the story here!

Elysium Loyce is a nice place without that blizzard, and with Aava dead I could waltz up to the main cathedral and hop down into a pit called "the old chaos" - where the king of this place (the "ivory" king) led his knights into a losing battle. Well, I was surprised that one ivory loyce knight ally came with me but the number of swarming and respawning evil ebony loyce knights (good to be color coordinated) was simply too much to handle.

The solution to being outnumbered...

It was clear I'd need to find more backup so I decided to explore the city, block by block. In addition to the ice skelies, those snow beggars who I previously ignored now doubled as assassins but they were nothing compared to the dreaded ice bandicoots who have the same rolling attack as those skeleton wheel guys. I also have to contend with invaders Hexer Nicholai (who enjoys "slow" spells) and Witch Donna (who can't aim even if her life depended on it). There's also a covetous demon, shiva knights, and evil golems - clearly I'm running past a lot of stuff! :P

...is to bring more allies! :P

Eventually I do find and free three more of the ivory knights, and then recruit players Django and Sunlight Brother "Sunbro Forever" to assist in the battle of the old chaos. It's an epic fight. Django falls early, and is soon followed by the white knights as the black knights finally run out. The Ivory King makes an appearance and proves to be a dangerous foe, but by taking turns to tank him Sunbro Forever and I are victorious, with Sunbro landing the finishing blow. With that, a second crown is now in my inventory. Thank you Django and Sunbro Forever!