Stranger Things 3 (The Game)

Mostly true to the show, but more grindy.

Dark times are upon the little town of Hawkins again but not only are there fiends from alternate dimensions, there are also ... RUSSIANS!? Mechanically this adventure game is pretty sound which follows the exact same story as the Netflix show of the same name. Your team roster will slowly expand to fill out with all the major characters and everything will be just swell!

Or not. For starters, the game characters are a bit different to the ones in the show. For example, Will is way more useful than Eleven... which is cool, but quite different. If you've seen Season 3 of the show you also don't have many surprises here other than the amount of monsters and people (mostly people) you will need to murder. Don't worry, they're "bad Russians" so it's ok.

I don't remember that happening in the show...

At around the half way point you'll be wondering if your party are the true monsters with the amount of blood on your hands. You'd be right. Unfortunately the designers decided to add "padding" to the game in the form of fetch quests and kill ten rats type stuff... and that bullshit gets old really quick. If that doesn't bother you and you are a fan of this series then sure, give it a try. For everyone else I give this two firecrackers out of five.

Insight: Max's healing ability makes her a good support team mate at all times. If you use Will as your main, equip 5x firestarters to really kick ass though you'll still want Nancy for most boss fights.

Slow and Dirty: Mudrunner Dungeons 3

Bet your mind went straight to the gutter for a minute huh? :P

Mudrunner

Where you can literally go nowhere.

Are you tired of those other driving simulators where you test sleek prototype cars that can powerdrift at mach II? If so, Mudrunner is definitely the game for you! In it, you must select your truck - choose the correct type of carriage for your cargo and then navigate between pick up spots and drop off points before running out of fuel!

Not my idea of fun.

That's right, the entire game is pretty much slow fetch quests, as your vehicle will undoubtedly have to traverse deep sections of mud which you'll need to inch your way through while winching your vehicle from various trees and the like. Exciting right! If you want a game where you literally don't go anywhere, then Mudrunner is for you! Otherwise, if you are like me, stay away. Far far away. I give it one timber tray out of five.

Insight: SKIP IT.

Dungeons 3

Third time's the charm?

Having conquered most of the known realm, the evil lord of conquering everything (you) sets his sights on a distant continent but can't quite get his evil armies of evil across the ocean so its on to plan B - delegation!

The dark elf Thayla will be your primary champion as you wreak havoc by sending your forces from your customizable dungeon and into their overworld stronghold, all while being narrated to by Kevan Brighting. This will be a make or break for you, as the talking is near non-stop.

She also serves as the eye candy.

While I found the tutorials and interface really good I did quickly get annoyed at having to rebuild my dungeon/base each mission which is a similar reason to why I dislike Warcraft and Starcraft. If you don't mind that, and the endless banter, then you might want to give this a try. Two gobblers out of five.

Insight: You'll always need a bigger gobbler farm. :P

Longmire

Home of the Red Pony and continual soiree.

Don't mess with him, cause he really doesn't let things go.

When crimes happen in the small county of Absaroka, it's up to Sheriff Walt Longmire (Robert Taylor) and his small band of deputies to keep the peace. It is well written, has great cinematography and makes good use of even minor characters who re-appear every now and then - which makes sense for a small town and it also helps most of the "villains" are very human too and really by the end we were cheering for some of them.

I also learned a lot of stuff in regards to firearms and American Indian reservations which gets an extra thumbs up. Definitely enjoyed this series and highly recommend it. I give it three and a half broncos out of five.

NWO: Sharandar Episode 1 - The Iron Tooth

Troll dentures are a thing.

Years after the war against Malabog, adventurers are sent to investigate why the crossing to the Feywild is being closed only to find a "new" enemy force attacking the upgraded elven city. I use "new" a bit loosely as the few new enemies can be counted on one hand and are only encountered in a few instances.

Everything else are just graphically updated powries, trolls, cyclopses, fomorians and the like from old Sharandar and while there is a possibility they are being mind controlled this time around that doesn't stop us from murdering their army encamped at the ruins with intense prejudice - because the elves want them dead, and we obey. Who is mind controlling who now? :P

Graphically, everything is pretty and I do like the first map / portion of the map we are allowed to get to, particularly the remains of Celadaine's tower. Also good is that the grindy quests are quick to do and often overlap making them fast to get through. While there is a high volume of enemies there are paths you can use to dodge them you want which also gets a thumbs up. Campaign wise it is rather light though, which is probably good for those who have many alts as you will reach the weekly limits pretty fast (an hour per alt at most if you are taking it easy).

All up, it's fine. Is it a good enough replacement for old Sharandar? That's a question best answered after we see the next two releases of this module but right now, nope - simply because old Sharandar released in one big hit and not in this piece meal format.

Insight: Characters with ranged attacks will also have an easier time with everything. Also, on your second return to the Feywild Crossing, if you bring Xuna with you expect a really fun fight at the end as she will wake everything up.

Time for a Scare: Blair Witch Amnesia Machine

When feeling safe is boring.

Blair Witch (PC Game)

PTSD is magic?

Volunteering to help look for a missing person in a spooky forest goes all sorts of wrong when witches and walking simulators collide. As someone who hasn't watched the movie, I wasn't expecting much from this game but I was actually pleasantly surprised at the start. Good graphics, decent voice acting, and a cool mechanic / ally in your dog, Bullet.

Who's a good boy!?

The puzzles and monsters in the whole forest section are very well done. My main problem is in the final bit, all that interesting stuff goes away and the game just into a stupid Layers of Fear type thing, where you walk into a room or look out a window and everything behind you has changed. Spooky the first time you do it, but that last bit just drags on and on and on - almost as long as the forest itself with no activities other than... walk and don't look. Such a pity that the quality takes such a severe drop at the supposed climax, meaning I can't really recommend this for anyone. One and a half dog biscuits out of five.

Insight: Your light can kill enemies. If you want to go for hard mode, just use the night mode on the handy cam and sneak past them instead.

Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs

Are those... orcs?

Waking up with memory loss is the theme of this series, and once again you will be forced to solve puzzles while evading some frightening creatures. This time is a tiny bit less stressful as your lantern has infinite fuel and you can actually look at the monsters without getting dizzy which is handy since all the majority of them show up in front of you. It also removes the silliness of standing facing a corner/walls to "hide".

Well that's a game over. 

The puzzles are for the most part also straight forward, what with less things to interact with on the maps but one big negative for me, and it might just be due to my graphics card, was the draw distance being abysmal - especially in dark areas. I suppose this could be so you can't "gamma cheat" to see in the dark, but even with the light on it didn't change. Still a fun, suspenseful game and one I recommend, and give it out of three pigs out of five. While on par for me with it's predecessor, I still feel the Justine DLC in the original is superior.

Insight: Use the light on that padlock or you'll be stuck for a long time like I was!

Atlantis Rising

Can you endure the wrath of the gods?

Having angered the gods by turning to science it is up to you and up to six other Atlantean councilors to cooperatively construct the ten component device to save your people from the rising waters. Constructed from a modular board, Atlantis looks like a star fish with six legs. Each of these peninsulas provide a different resource required to build your escape.

Those furthest from the center have a chance to bring more rewards (dice rolling) but are also the first to be flooded, and since you place all your "workers" prior to the flooding phase, it is a push your luck mechanic that sees if they can even attempt to harvest, or are sent back to your pool empty-handed.

Here's one game we barely won!

At least your leaders have minor special powers and by using them together you might scrape through to a win, though it totally depends on how good you can mitigate the dice rolls to your favor and what components you need to complete. Those "D" level ones (the hardest) are nuts! Special mention to the great artwork as well. Definitely gets a thumbs up, I give it four mystic barriers out of five.

Insight: Build something easy first, just in case the saboteur shows up.

Troy: The Saga and the Fall

The Iliad lives on.

Troy: Fall of a City

You already know the outcome.

This one season miniseries depicts the Trojan war mainly from the perspective of Paris and reminds everyone that the actual siege takes 10 whole years.

While I did like that the Greek gods actually show up and play a more hands on role in the story, it is also marred by some stupid decisions plot wise, not the best acting, and some questionable casting.

Yep, she's ready for some action!

All up this doesn't really have a lot going for it, especially since you already know the end. Not recommended, but I give it one and a half tunnels out of five.

A Total War Saga: Troy

Too much patience required.

By now most would know the story of how a massive army was raised to take back an unfaithful wife who fled with her lover to the city of Troy and all the action and excitement there of.

This game decides not to do that and instead starts out right when Agamemnon decides to give chase. Now, you can play as a variety of people each who have their own goals with some being easier than others (good luck, Odysseus).

Getting Attack on Titan vibes...

On the world map you move your armies around,  upgrade cities, gain currency, use diplomacy to gain allies, build boats and the like (yep, you want to launch a thousand ships? Enjoy waiting for that to be built).

For combat, you get a more tactical over view to command your army and use your heroes special abilities. Don't expect any Dynasty Warrior stuff though, its very much more a "wait and see" approach.

Neither of those are appealing to me, and the final nail in the coffin? Extreme loading times. Five minutes for an initial load is OK, but five minutes every time you go into battle, out of battle, and waiting for other factions to finish their turn... way too much.

During the tutorial I thought I'd speed things up by "auto" battling which resulted in King Agamemnon and his army (the suggested "starting guy as he is the easiest goals") being wiped out by some random robbers but the tutorial just carried on as if all was well. WTF?

Truly a trojan horse of a game, with beautiful packaging but inside is just full of shit and death, followed by more shit. I give it zero sieges out of five. Not worth playing!

Insight: Don't auto battle unless you have a one million percent chance of victory I suppose?