Borderlands 2: The Face of Killing

[Part of the Wasted Land story]

Annoyed at Pyro Pete's advanced tech, I decided it was time to even the playing field and got me some GOLDEN KEYS. 226 to be exact! With a quick trip to Sanctuary we used a whole bunch to upgrade with totally gnarly weapons which we unleashed back into Pyro Pete's FACE! MUAHAHAHAAHAH! Now we are #1 on Mr. Torque's leaderboard once again!

Acid everywhere!

Since our training to fight people has climaxed (oh my!), it was time to practice on critters and what better spot than the Hunter's Grotto - a swamp that's home to mystical and sometimes very tough vampiric tribesmen, flying spores, massive scorpions and horridly tall spiders. Riding fan boats while hunting these and the giant versions there of, we stumble upon the lab of one Dr. Nakayama who is conducting evil experiments with the local wild life to resurrect Handsome Jack, who he is totally gay for.

It's not long before we find one of his creations - a Jack Scorpion - rather, a giant scorpion with Jack's face and a Hyperion turret on its back. The thing practically kills itself. This Nakayama guy is a loser! We decide the planet will be better off if we KILL HIS FACE TOO! HAHAHAHAH!

It takes a lot of murdering to reach Nakayama's crashed space ship base, but once inside his only defenders are hyperion bots and a Jackenstein monster who I easily carve up once DL and Jim snipe off his shield generators. We don't even have to touch Nakayama as he then accidentally kills himself on some stairs! BWAHAHAHA!

Unfortunately the savage chief Ngwatu who takes his place is less of a laughing matter, as his pet stalker - Voracidious the Invincible (again!?) is another tough, fast, and hard hitting cookie that forces us to withdraw. We decide to go to our trainer, Tiny Tina, for advice and she decides to make us play Dungeons and Dragons BUNKERS AND BADASSES? All right then!

Insight: Here's how I got all those Golden Keys (for FREE of course!):

Make Shift account, link to steam or whatever. Go to rewards section.
Open this link and go through codes. There are a lot - don't forget to look at "Event Codes" tab, particularly at the bottom for unexpired keys.

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Blaugust Bonus: "What are some of the things that get you excited in life?" -Heather

New cooperative board games!

Borderlands 2: Invincible Comeback

[Part of the Wasted Land story]

Lucky of us, a sponsor has recently been kidnapped in the region by Pyro Pete (Rank #4). Unlucky for him I have a fire-proof shield and beat him down in under half a minute. The sponsor turns out to be Mad Moxxi who sends us to our new trainer... Tiny Tina? WUT?

After some shenanigans with cookies, Tina sends us to participate in the DEATH RACE to train for our next battle. Somehow, both Jim and DL end up letting THE PERSON WHO HATES DRIVING (me) do the driving. Well, turns out just because I don't like it doesn't mean I'm bad at it - and successfully complete the circuit three times in a slow Bandit Technical - winning the last run by a second! I am ELATED!

Tina sends us to do a few more training missions such as getting an autograph from a serial killer and walking her dog giant flaming skag, before letting us face the overweight, cannibalistic bike rider Motor Mamma (#3) in the arena. Her arsenal manages to knock Jim down, but once her bike is destroyed she's mince meat for MY AXE! Mince meat I save for tasty snacks later. Nnnhnhnhhnnyeeesss!

With Motor Mama packed away it's time to hunt for the Rank #2 dude, "Flyboy", guarded by robots and all things flying - but Piston (Rank #1) flips the script and explodes Flyboy from his blimp before our fight can start! Piston tries to bombard us too but DL's turret and sniping skills defeat his balloon and send him crashing to the arena.

There the fight continues against his next vehicle, a monster Badassasaurus truck that Jim explodes with his dual lazers. Finally on foot, I give Piston a face full of buzz axe - splitting his face into two. IT'S BEAUTIFUL!

It's a pretty cool vehicle!

Unfortunately we don't get to keep the #1 ranking for long since Pyro Pete makes a comeback, having trained up significantly to become Pyro Pete the Invincible! What is it with everyone gaining invincibility? He's now a really tough nugget to crack and while not as impossible as Master Gee, is still enough to force the three of us to retreat!

Insight: Multiplayer can probably cheese the race by having a person wait at each checkpoint, but I did it properly meaning use the boost (F key on keyboard) during the straights, and jumping the ramp to the sky bridge also saves some time.

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Blaugust Bonus: "Tell us 5 facts about yourself." -Jen Thorpe

I'm married, I like (trying to) sing, I make diaries of most games I play, I like cooperative board games, and I dislike money grabbing/gambling lock boxes in all their forms.

Borderlands 2: Eaten by a Rumor

[Part of the Wasted Land story]

After surviving the betrayal, we race to the treasure but are quickly devoured by the Leviathan, a giant sand worm who supposedly guards the lost treasure. Didn't mention it till now cause, well, it was just rumor... until it ate us.

Captain Scarlett is in here too, and after a short scuffle I take her gun and kick her pirate booty further into the monster's poop chute just before it barfs DL, Jim and I back out. Guess it didn't like the gunfire in it's belly, but having us outside meant its own doom.

In under a minute, the Leviathan was dead and right under him - the lost pirate treasure! As the Firehawk thought, this decent loot would certainly help Sanctuary... so we sold it to them for some nice moneys! CHA-CHING! As for Scarlett - not sure if she made it out, but if she did she'll certainly be shit-faced. Literally.

We hunt down her remaining crew without much trouble - until we reach her engineer Hyperius the Invincible. This heavily shielded guy comes with equally shielded loaders that need to be taken care of first. Luckily my buzz axe rampage is really good at making meatbicycles out of robots now, and despite the long fight we finally chop him up in the end! CHOP SUEY!

Gotta shoot those nuts before a third wind!

The last on the hit list is Master Gee, who truly is invincible - though there must be a secret with all the acidic worms that spawn in his arena. Having lost too much cash from "reconstruction" we decide to leave him for now and to train at the Badass Crater of Badassitude arena run by the delightful Mr. Torque. His favourite word is F*CK!

Instead of pirates, the bandits in this region are all Mad Max biker themed - complete with motorbikes and sidecars. Our first arena fight against waves of bikeys is really easy and it instantly brings us to #5 on the rankings - but to continue the climb, we need to first find a sponsor.

Insight: Undead Pirates who show up with normal mobs are far more dangerous than the Leviathan. These skeletal swashbucklers hit hard and are fricking tough due to their regenerating health. When you see one, burst it down ASAP.

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Blaugust Bonus: "What is something you have lost along the way that you would love to have back?  Can be serious or frivolous." -SDWeasel

Anonymity. Good luck getting that back. :P

Borderlands 2: Get that Booty!

[Part of the Wasted Land story]

Concerned about future attacks, Firehawk asks our team to go gather funds to strengthen Sanctuary - and what better funds to look for than some lost treasure?! PIRATE TREASURE! ARRRRRRH!

The three of us head to the town of Oasis to begin the search where Jim finds an amazing Fastball grenade mod that features a tiny explosion but can be thrown far and insta-kills most regular enemies. Once DL repairs a nearby hovercraft it becomes really easy to murderize all the sand worms and pirate themed enemies in our way.

It's not long before another pirate - Captain Scarlett, invites us to her ship for a parley. She too is looking for the lost treasure, and is willing to split it with us if we help her find it. Since she's kinda hot despite missing more than a few body pieces, we say "Aye!"

She's the only one other than Moxxi who has "shrines" dedicated to her.

We need to assemble a lens that will reveal where the treasure is buried and she saves us time by simply giving us the first piece. We get the next two easily from the Pirate Union (flying their own hovercrafts) and a Hyperion convoy guarded by loader bots - easy prey for ramming. The next one is given to us by some old coot at the rustyards, but since it's in a locked chest - DL shoots it open and damages the part! LOL WHUUUUT? Thus begins a long trek to a refinery full of pirate-bots (obviously) to repair it.

Finally, with the lens complete - we head up to a really high lighthouse as per Captain Scarlett's instructions and use it to show to the world where the great treasure is buried. It's at this point she sends her crew to kill us while she herself races to the loot. Why Scarlett? WHYYYY! I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENNNDS....

Insight: Unlike the previous vehicles the hovercraft is a freaking tank which more than makes up for the weaker arsenal they can carry. To this end, it's faster to ram everything to death (where possible) instead of shooting them.

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Blaugust Bonus: "Tell us about your physical creative space, and how it influences your content creation." -Krikket

My desk is full of loose papers which act as the diary for various games I play. Each side is titled and numbered so I know what they link to and having them in front of me encourages me to continue the notations.

Borderlands 2: The Stuff of Movies

[Part of the Wasted Land story]

With our fresh supplies of teeth, eyes and bombs we head on to the Hyperion Info Stockade which is like a giant library in the shape of an iridium refinery and guarded by a HUGE robot called Saturn! I think they named a planet after this thing! Good thing it's slow so Jim dual lazers it to death. DUAL LAZERZ!

That robot is taller than this house!

Using our supplies we find Jack's location and head there with a full assault team led by Slabby and Mordecai to counter all his Hyperion defences. Jack himself uses the Vault Key to summon "the Warrior", a giant flame humanoid stolen right out of Nausicaa. What? I watch Anime!

Much like it's anime counterpart, this Warrior is flawed and has a weakness we greatly exploit: bullets, lazers and rotary-axes into the heart! It dies without too much fuss and before Jack can beg for mercy DL puts a bullet in his head and saves Firehawk. We're totally badass heroes now! YEAH!

I wonder if they'll ever make a movie about us, one that Hollywood won't screw up... oh shiiieeeet. Too late!

Insight: Empty your pack before the final fight because the warrior is one big loot pinata!

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Blaugust Bonus: "What's your process when creating a blog post?" -Paeroka

If I find a game I can write a story about, I keep a diary of loose papers on what I do in it and then much later condense all of that into blog posts. If it's more leaning towards a simple review, I try type that down within a week of playing/experiencing the media so it's still fresh in my head.

Once a post is ready in my digital text document (yep I use notepad), the corresponding papers get shuffled away into a drawer. Only after all the posts of that game are actually posted online do I then toss the relevant papers out for recycling.

Borderlands 2: Just Take It

[Part of the Wasted Land story]

While the leaders of Sanctuary plan a counter attack, we three amigos first go to distant Lynchwood in search of a "cursed gun", which Jim finds is really cursed since it prevents movement while drawn. Lynchwood is home to the bunny bandit army though, with respawning bad guys regularly -pooping- popping out from every shack. They are definitely allied with Hyperion too so we blow up their train and railroad, rob their bank and kill their female sheriff!

Turns out she was Handsome Jack's girlfriend so he's not very happy that I put a rocket in her mouth. He's even less happy when we go to the site of his nearly complete utopian city "Opportunity" and wreck the place for fun - destroying his statues, flooding build sites, exploding construction equipment and oh yeah... murder all his laborer bots and engineers!

The size of said rocket.

Since we're already in the process of destroying his hopes and dreams we then join the Sanctuary army to take the fight to their main base and assisted by Slab buzzard air support, battle through the soldiers, destroy their flying bunker and kill his evil suicidal bitch siren daughter! Just as we are about to take the artifact like taking a baby from their candy, Roland and Firehawk show up and make a mess of things, getting killed and abducted in that order. Uh, I mean, respectively! Yeah.

So Jack gets away with everything and we are left with nothing. While Slabby and Mordecai the birdless plan the next move, we kill some time hunting a giant skag, fighting in Moxxi's Ore Chasmic arena (against Hyperion), and nearly falling for Jack's traps by going to check on his grandma as well as nearly jumping off a cliff for money. He's a sly one this Jack fella. Good thing DL and Jim managed to hold me back!

Finally Slabby gives us a mission to get some supplies (and by supplies I mean bombs) from another gang called the Sawtooth. Shouldn't it be Sawteeth? Well it doesn't matter. They don't have teeth or eyes or bombs anymore. We took em. We took em ALLLLLL!

Insight: The most upstairs part of the flying bunker fight (just before the water) is a good spot to fight as the structure there provides a lot of cover.

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Blaugust Bonus: "Tell us about some of your favorite protagonist(s) and explain why. Or talk about characters in which you can recognize yourself or parts of yourself." -Endalia

John Constantine, because he gets things done often via the hard choice even at the expense of his friends. Not seen so much with the Keanu Reeves movie version but every iteration voiced or played by Matt Ryan does this. Also, Batman because even if he keeps people alive, most of his allies end up disliking/hating him since "the mission" comes first. I don't have their gear nor talent, but if it comes down to sacrificing popularity or people for my own goals - you bet!

Borderlands 2: Flipping the Bird

[Part of the Wasted Land story]

While exploring, we stumble upon Fink's Slaughterhouse which serves as an arena for the locals. Naturally we participate and thanks to the shiney gear DL has pulled and shared out using his golden keys (it gives super gear), smash through the first four rounds with only little difficulty. It's fun to make midgets bleeeed!

The fifth round is quite bad though with Jim and I both getting KO'ed but DL still manages to pull the win with his turret! Afterwards we head on to the Hyperion Wildlife Preservation Park to help Mordecai find his bird, which Hyperion had stolen from him recently. The park is like a zoo, only with monsters that are undergoing mutation testing - FOR SCIENCE!

With Mordecai providing flaccid sniper cover, we break in. Free the souls of the captive beasts and find his bird, which is now enlarged and evil! Despite our best efforts to save it by shooting it with bullets, Mordecai's bird explodes at the climax. He is left bitter and birdless.

In retaliation for this, we go back through the Wildlife Preservation Park to free all the trapped animals. It's a nice to have skags and stalkers on our side for a change! We also find a super helpful guy running an arena biome with said creatures.

He lets us free five rounds worth of the animals and even pays us to boot! The badass fire thresher in the last round manages to KO Jim, but he is freed too - just like his friends. Freed from all their suffering, freed to the great beyond! MUAHAHAHAHAHAH! *buzz saw sounds*

Roland then radios in and gets us to travel to the Thousand Cuts region to try make an alliance with the local bandits, "the Slabs", to unite against Hyperion. We diplomatically kill anyone who refuses to join. Eventually the Slab King, frenemy of Roland whom I shall dub "Slabby", officially agrees when the nearby "main" Hyperion base launches a full scale attack, sending the Slabs retreating to Sanctuary.

Yeah, nahhh... your name's Slabby mate.

Insight: Clusters of enemies are the best targets for a psychos buzz axe rampage. Each kill restores your health to full. Just remember to take cover again afterwards.

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Blaugust Bonus: "If you had a mascot to represent you, what would it be?" -Rambling Redshirt

It's a shadow that you can only occasionally glimpse for a split second from the corner of your vision and also whispers things to your mind. Perhaps you've already encountered it before?