Saturday, 6 September 2014

Rise of the Zombies

Oh Asylum Productions, you always make ridiculous movies. Basically stealing from almost every plot point in the zombie series "The Walking Dead", this film follows a ragtag group of zombie apocalypse survivors who are looking for a cure to the undead outbreak. Don't expect any explanations though as the zombies in this movie can't decide if they can sprint, jog, walk, stagger, or simply fall over. Sometimes they can scale unbelievable heights, while a few scenes later a wire fence slightly taller than a man can stop them. Some don't even look that zombie like. One even gets scared off by a dog. What?

Hero of the movie (on the right)!

The "heroes" aren't much better, often doing stupid things like saying "clear" when there are zombies sitting in plain view, throwing live grenades at team mates, ignoring doors that are getting breached by the infected and so on. Wait so are they infected or undead? Do only head shots kill them? I said not to ask! All of these and more get left unanswered! :P Acting wise I think only LeVar Burton (whom trekkies might better know as Geordi La Forge) is the only passable one. Even title actor Danny Trejo seems like he's just there for the paycheck.

There's little gore (not enough to save it) and the ending is somewhat anti-climatic. As much as I like Danny Trejo I'm afraid I can only give this movie one bullet out of five. One bullet, right in the head.


  1. Danny Trejo is one of those people who will do anything for a paycheck. His acting also suggests that those paychecks aren't very large.