Dark Souls III: Dancing with Dragons

Tales from Dark Souls - spoilers ahead! You can follow the rest of the story here!

Soon after defeating Aldrich I am teleported back to Priestess Emma, who is bleeding out on the floor. She asks that I save Prince Lothric's soul before expiring. I imagine that translates to "kill that bastard Lothric", but don't have long to dwell on it as Emma's killer drops down from the roof to face me: a giant dancer lady. I get her down to 10% on my first attempt but subsequently do worse and worse on future ones, getting caught out by her incredible range and really long, spinning combos (which are beautiful to watch by the way). I also try bring Saranthor (player) to assist me, but runs into that problem of being unable to enter the boss fog. Sorry Saranthor!

Son of a...

I do manage to defeat her once I realize not to care about the camera though, which often goes berserk while tracking her. Basically I just run up to her butt and spam two handed attack while the world (and her) spins like crazy. The disadvantage of long reach eh? Also semi-related, funny fact: high ground in the Dark Souls franchise is -BAD- for the same reason. You will miss often, which means being lower on a staircase for example, is always preferred.

Weakness: Woman therefore try rear!

Anyway, with the dancer dead I was free to progress further into the Castle grounds, defeating some tough knights and running past "possessed" hollows through a poisonous marsh that was the King's Garden. I encounter a dragon thing here who is suffering from post natal depression and looking for its child (who is possibly Shanalotte, the Emerald Herald?). I am assisted by Ser Sad, who finally is doing something useful, in putting it out of it's misery.

Dark Souls III: Yhormine, Aldrich!

Tales from Dark Souls - spoilers ahead! You can follow the rest of the story here!

Stout and tough.

After that little break I figured it's time to try fight bosses again, starting with Yhorm. Since my axe had a significant reach disadvantage I decided to upgrade a great sword, like the one I used in Drangleic, specifically for this battle. Turns out I shouldn't have bothered, because I have a surprise assistant this time around: Ser Chubby! He's here to fulfill a promise to his old friend, Yhorm and boy can he hold his own.

The epic fight ensues!

Apparently there's a new mechanic of "weapon skills" that I've been totally missing out on, but Ser Chubby's a master at it - using his wind sword to smack Yhorm around and leaving the giant open to cheap shots from me. Unfortunately Yhorm slays Ser Chubby during the battle, but is weak enough for me to finish off with my great sword. I take Ser Chubby back to Firelink for a proper burial using my sword as his grave marker.

I hate that arrow attack.

While here, I find Greirat has returned from his raid - selling a whole slew of new items. The kleptomaniac wants to raid Irithyll valley next so I let him go for it, while I return to Anor Londo to take down Petrus Aldrich. It takes a few attempts to work out that I can actually out pace his arrow storm, that he is weak in melee, and that his tail takes increased damage from my axe. Indeed, towards the end his only unblockable attack is using too much FX that makes me crash - but that just means I have to focus more on offense - discarding my shield and two handing the axe for maximum damage. Once I had that all down, he got ownzored.

Dark Souls III: Five Finger Discount

Tales from Dark Souls - spoilers ahead! You can follow the rest of the story here!

What gave it away?

To take a break from Aldrich, I decide to revisit old areas again this time starting with the High Wall of Lothric where I can now one or two shot most enemies - making exploration really easy. I manage to free the prisoner I encountered before now that I found the key to his cell and he introduces himself as Greirat the thief. He asks that I find a lady friend of his but since I already have one of her bones (how the hell I know the bone is hers is a mystery, I guess it's labelled?) he just gets sad and then asks if he can serve me... by raiding! Go for it buddy!

New friend vs old friend.

Opting to revisit Irithyll next, I find Sirris fighting Creighton the axe man on the bridge! How he survived being run over by a chariot is also a mystery, though I suppose he managed to kill Pate if he's that tough. He does put up a good fight but is no match against both Sirris and I. Sirris mentions her order is against the group Creighton now belonged to: Rosaria's fingers, because they are all evil scum.

Further in Irithyll I find Ser Chubby making soup in a kitchen which he happily shares with me (estus soup)! Such a jolly fellow. I then return to Firelink (because those frostbite knight patrols are annoying) and decide to kill Leonhard for Sirris. He's nowhere near as tough as Creighton and is killed easily. I then go to Rosaria herself and kill the evil slug with one shot. FOR JUSTICE!

Dark Souls III: Disconnect

Tales from Dark Souls - spoilers ahead! You can follow the rest of the story here!

De ja vu.

After using a familiar rotating tower I'm back looking at the palace of Anor Londo, only this time the knights are the ones guarding the place. It takes some practice to slay the first pair (at once), and there in his old side room I find the corpse of the friendly giant blacksmith. At least there's some advantage to having been here before, as I know exactly where the mechanism is to open the main door in the now pitch black hall guarded by fire cultists, like the ones in the Cathedral of the Deep.

I'm definitely glad I ran back out towards the bonfire after opening it though, because said cultists brought their terrifying furry pet with them! Yep, the massive spider chased me all the way down the stairs and ... into an invisible wall? Hurrah for flawed AI! Thanks to that barrier I just arrowed the beast to death. Yes it took long, but it was worth it.

Vengeance!

With a relatively clear run to the Smough and Ornstein's old boss room where someone rebuilt all those non-weight bearing pillars, I soon find myself facing Petrus Aldrich, who has eaten so many things he's now a sludge like beast that happens to use  a whole slew of attacks: the favourites of mine are the magic missile lights (which track) and the instadeath arrow volley which you can take cover from in phase 1, but not in phase 2, which also happens to follow you as you run around the room. Hope you have enough stamina! Lol. I recruit Myria (player) to try assist me here but midfight I crash out due to all the special FX Aldrich is using which is really annoying. Looks like I'll have to do this solo. Sorry about that Myria! :(

Dark Souls III: Not so Uplifting

Tales from Dark Souls - spoilers ahead! You can follow the rest of the story here!

With the uplifting turn of events last time, I return to the Pontiff's church and just try solo him to learn his moves. While I die a couple of times it finally dawns on me that his big movements and good range aren't very good against someone right up beside him. With that in mind, I lured him to the entry way which is slightly tighter than the rest of the area to prevent him moving "away", and caned his scrawny butt. Even his phantom perished due to the close quarters and the wide arc of my axe. Solo victory!

Where's your god now?

Beyond him was a plaza full of giants an a very familiar place in the distance, but before I could advance I was invaded by Asfdg (player) whom I caned, most likely because he was lagging. I didn't get to slay him though, that honor went to Catharina (player) of the Dark Moon who arrived to defend me. Basically she just did a final backstab to finish him off. Thanks Catharina and no hard feelings Asfdg. If it makes you feel better I was soon invaded by two more of Aldrich's Faithful (players) who slaughtered me.

I didn't really mind though because I was too much in shock of where I was running - Anor Londo! My suicide scouting run showed me where to go, and how to avoid the many Anor Londo knight archers on the rooftops (yep they paid homage to that), and soon I found myself if the old Darkmoon Tomb where Gwyndolin was before (apparently he's one of Aldrich's victims). Now all I find are the corpses of the Knight Firekeeper lady, a pilgrim, and Anri's corpse used in some sacrificial rite. So much for being uplifting.

That looks... fatal.

Dark Souls III: Whack and Roll

Tales from Dark Souls - spoilers ahead! You can follow the rest of the story here!

Not willing to run into that spider monster again, on my next foray into the Cathedral I simply jumped down to face the giants who were actually easy victims once you get under them. Not far away I finally find stairs down leading to a whole congregation of evil deacons for a game of whack a mole! These moles were too tough on my first round (I had them down to 25%), but on my second try I had both Sirris and Horace with me which made it a really easy battle. After taking a doll that they worship for some reason I warp back to Firelink and find Anri and Horace there.

Bring it on!

Apparently Anri took advantage of our ruckus and checked out Aldrich's coffin. Alas, it was empty so the search for him will have to continue. I also give Irina another braille dark tome that I found at the Cathedral. I guess there are a lot of evil blind folk? Not that it matters since I don't have the stats to cast any of the spells she sells, light or dark. Since the Cathedral is a dead end I warp back to the Abyss Watchers chamber and proceed deeper into some old looking catacombs.

The standard fare of rats and skeletons are here, including some that get up at extra time but are nowhere near as annoying since there are no necros reviving them. There are also some undead warriors who aren't that difficult to axe down, as well as pressure plate traps that are easily avoided. What catches me off guard are the giant rolling balls of skeletons. These humorous things just go back and forth between two points, and after slaying me once by knocking me off into a bottomless pit, I learned to use them to my advantage - luring foes including the invader Knightslayer Tsorig into the danger zones for cheap kills. I definitely find this place more pleasant than the Cathedral.

Behold my new weapon! Lol!

Dark Souls III: Unholy Ground

Tales from Dark Souls - spoilers ahead! You can follow the rest of the story here!

VICTORY!

After defeating the Abyss Watchers I was back in Firelink Shrine with enough souls for the Firekeeper to cure my dark sigil, so I did. Yuria was not pleased at this, saying I was a "false lord" and simply left. Eygon showed up in her place, though just to check on Irina. Ser Sad is also chattier than usual, telling me about the history of the Abyss Watchers and how they got corrupted by the very thing they defended against. He also speaks of another Lord of Cinder: Saint Aldrich, who was once just a simple cleric with a penchant for eating people. He gained a lot of power (and visavisfollowers) when he started eating gods though! I instantly thought of any chubby clerics I'd met in the past... no way, can't be him.

Since it was adventure time again, I then decided to face the Crystal Sage once more, this time while embered and with Eygon as my helper we smash him and his little mirror images. Past him was a pair of bandits and a hollow hunting party, and then the Cathedral of the Deep where I and am promptly invaded by Yorams (player). We had a good duel, complete with the exchanging of "welcome gestures", and for a change I'm pretty sure I had this guy - but our fight was cut short as Chara (player) of the Blue Sentinels arrived. I backed off and let the two duel with Chara eliminating Yorams without much incident. Thanks Chara, and good fight Yorams! :)

With the Cathedral doors locked, I explored the grounds in a lengthy detour through a graveyard with endless zombies and a challenging rooftop section with many midget assassin ambush spots. Inside it only gets worse as the midgets are reinforced by pretty tough evil paladins, and a pair of giants who guard the main, flooded hall. In one ominously large yet empty room I am also jumped by a terrifying spider monster who easily kills me in my panicked state - good thing I've found ways to open the shortcut doors back to that initial bonfire!

HOLY F@#K!