Dark Souls III: Five Finger Discount

Tales from Dark Souls - spoilers ahead! You can follow the rest of the story here!

What gave it away?

To take a break from Aldrich, I decide to revisit old areas again this time starting with the High Wall of Lothric where I can now one or two shot most enemies - making exploration really easy. I manage to free the prisoner I encountered before now that I found the key to his cell and he introduces himself as Greirat the thief. He asks that I find a lady friend of his but since I already have one of her bones (how the hell I know the bone is hers is a mystery, I guess it's labelled?) he just gets sad and then asks if he can serve me... by raiding! Go for it buddy!

New friend vs old friend.

Opting to revisit Irithyll next, I find Sirris fighting Creighton the axe man on the bridge! How he survived being run over by a chariot is also a mystery, though I suppose he managed to kill Pate if he's that tough. He does put up a good fight but is no match against both Sirris and I. Sirris mentions her order is against the group Creighton now belonged to: Rosaria's fingers, because they are all evil scum.

Further in Irithyll I find Ser Chubby making soup in a kitchen which he happily shares with me (estus soup)! Such a jolly fellow. I then return to Firelink (because those frostbite knight patrols are annoying) and decide to kill Leonhard for Sirris. He's nowhere near as tough as Creighton and is killed easily. I then go to Rosaria herself and kill the evil slug with one shot. FOR JUSTICE!

Dark Souls II: Effigy

Tales from Dark Souls - spoilers ahead! You can follow the rest of the story here!

Their camo doesn't work so well outside the fog.

Past the misty forest was an overgrown ruin, where some idiots decided to keep curses in jars. The mist guardians are here too, but without the mist they are easily dealt with. The numerous petrified lion men standing around also should have given me a hint but nope, I fell into a hole full of froggies (whose gaze petrifies people). They were easy to kill but most of my gear broke in the process.

I tried to forge ahead regardless, finding Creighton hiding up in one of the towers, still plotting his revenge on Pate. There was also a silent but non-hostile scorpion man, as well as a very hostile scorpion woman who easily killed me with her stingers. Warped back to Majula for repairs and then (finally) worked out that using a human effigy would restore my health bar to full (it's been maxing out at 50% for sometime now). Sheesh, I should have done that sooner!

Alfis' favourite spell: Create light.

With double the health, I returned to the forest of giants and found exploration much easier now. Especially since I also found an ally named Ruined Alfis to help me do so! We smashed (almost) everything in our way ultimately facing the invader, Armorer Dennis and his brigade of ninja turtles. Alfis fought Dennis to a draw while I got rid of Donatello and company and was rewarded with another bonfire! With that Alfis waved goodbye and Dennis, having lost all aggro, just wandered aimlessly. I got out of there without further hassle. 

Dark Souls II: Poison Peak

Tales from Dark Souls - spoilers ahead! You can follow the rest of the story here!

Within those woods I find Creighton the axe man who was locked up in a hut by Merciless Roenna, whose name doesn't suit her at all if she takes prisoners. Guess she had some sort of kinky thing going on there - didn't bother asking while killing her. Anyway, Creighton blames Pate for his current predicament and after warning me about the soap giver, heads off to hunt him while I continue on my way.

The forest gives way to cliff side caves with skeletons that self revive. Having seen this at the catacombs before I know better, and take down the annoying necromancers that reanimate those bones. In no time at all I am again at a boss chamber, this one occupied by THREE skeleton lords. Fortunately they're slow, but they are still irritating in that slaying one summons a mob of skelies into the chamber (including a pair of those irritating wheel riding ones). With careful sprints between cover my bastard sword lays them all to waste and it's just my first go. Hah, I'm getting better!

You're gonna need a bigger army.

Past them the path leads up into the mountains, and to poison filled moats of doom. Chloanne the stone trader is here, and she must be pretty stoned herself to be hanging around this death trap. I push forward through some mines, careful to avoid the poison tunnels below, and straight to a large fortress called Earthen Peak, where apparently they store poison in large jars. WTF is wrong with these people?

Dark Souls II: Pity there's No Pity

Tales from Dark Souls - spoilers ahead! You can follow the rest of the story here!

I opt to venture another direction from Majula, this time into a watery tunnel that leads to some gorgeous, sinking ruins. There are many white knights sitting around injured but since I can't help them, I just push forward - doing my best to explore while avoiding the slow giant warriors guarding the place. Eventually I find a boss room of some fat knight who really enjoys insta killing me by knocking me off the platform into the deep water below.

Come back for more? Ho ho ho!

After numerous attempts I think he must have gotten bored since he decided to jump into the water himself! Just above his arena I find the slightly evil cleric, Licia, who offers to sell me miracles. Ain't got the souls for it lady. After a bridge, some spiraling stairs, and more running I find myself in a really dark underground dock where distant archers relentlessly snipe me. Having had enough of that BS I use a bonfire just before that zone to warp back to the forest where my life is made a little easier as an undead soldier explodes open a shortcut for me.

Just when I think the bad guys are taking pity on me, I find a room where I get shot at by five balistas, get ganked by soldiers "playing dead", and after actively ignoring the warning of adventurer named Pate, willingly enter a trap where I still get swarmed and die. Pate laughs at my misfortune and gives me a white soapstone for my trouble. Because I stink.

PSA: Getting hit by multiple siege weapons at the same time can be fatal.