Borderlands Pre-Sequel: Vengeance Begins

[Part of the Wasted Land story]

One piece of knowledge I gleaned from the vault was that one particular claptrap on the Helios has a special code locked inside it which holds more Hyperion secrets. Unfortunately due to the intense security protocols there was no alternative but to send a digital copy of myself into his subconscious - a crazy realm of malware, viruses, insecurity bots and bridges requiring defragging. Unlocking the code from its quarantine sector inadvertently releases a program calling itself Shadow-Trap who steals the H-source for itself.

I need to chase it deep, deep into claptrap hell and eventually fight it - along with mirror images of it, a giant mecha version of it and a flying mini-Helios version before finally putting an end to it and taking the code for myself. Since it gave me such a bad time getting the data I decide to simply destroy the claptrap product line, destroying all the little annoying bots in one fell swoop and dump their metal scraps in some snowfield on Pandora. Good riddance you absolute turd of a robot. Hopefully no one manages to piece one back together or anything.

That's me celebrating on the left!

In the meantime I assist some poachers for "King Greg" in capturing the alien guardians and their babies too to be used for testing, slavery and/or perhaps food. This will teach those pieces of shit that they messed with the wrong guy! It's great that everything is slowly going my way now... it might take a little more time but I will get to that vault on Pandora I saw in the vision and then... oh and then I will make all of them PAY!

Insight: On the "big" boss fights, aim for the turrets and launchers to make it easier for you. Also, just use the wings of the immediate main area for cover where the respawning ammo piles are. Leverage the cover to hit the "eye" of your target while at the same time not letting him shoot back at you.

Borderlands Pre-Sequel: Vault of Elpis

[Part of the Wasted Land story]

Repairs on the Helios take some time, what with having to defend a Hyperion space supply drop from pirate space ships, getting the R&D specimens back into their cages, eliminating the plague infected worker cannibals in maintenance and dealing with a wandering alien in the trash compactor, so by the time all is back in order and I return to Concordia - Moxxi, Roland and Lilith are all long gone having stolen the coordinates for the vault I was meaning lay claim to on Elpis before the Lost Legion attacked! Fricking thieves!

I head to the location myself and make an ally in Captain Chef, some sort of space explorer claiming land for King Gril... Gilga... eh... "King Greg", but he doesn't really hang around to help fight the aliens guardians and lost legion eternals that are defending the vault. Gun loaders only help for the surface battles but deeper in it's just me and my digi-jacks that need to take care of everything - especially this four faced alien boss guy who gets HUGE for the second phase of his fight, which ironically is much easier than his first form.

The bigger they are, the easier they are to hit!

My reward for finally penetrating this vault? A silly little vault symbol that gives me flashes of future knowledge when I hold it. Of course, I only get around ten seconds with it before Lilith phasewalks in and brand-punches the symbol right into my face, promptly leaving me to get killed by the remaining aliens. Jokes on her as Captain Chef manages to pull me out and get me back to Nurse Nina at Concordia. My wounds are patched up, but I have a handsome mask made to cover the scar that Lilith bitch gave me. I am SO going to get back at her for this!

Insight: Kill eternals before they "ascend" or they will be fully healed. Also, double jump when the boss alien does a jump smash during phase 1 of his fight.

Civ VI: Gilgamesh Forever

[Part of the Civilization VI story]

It must have been a grim sight for the German knights as my army began advancing on their territory. With tanks, helicopters, a battleship that could fire missiles from their harbor and a bomber based in nearby Baghdad, their cities and the city-states allied to them felt the full force of Sumerian might and quickly fell prey to our superior firepower. Oh, and one village fell to the our allies in the city-state of Kandy. Yes, they got Kandy crushed by the knights of Kandy. Hahah!

Somehow the German capital was repelling us though, through the combined efforts of Gustave Eiffel, Alfred Nobel and general Napoleon Bonaparte - managing to destroy an entire tank column on their own. It was only when we dropped all the bombs and fired all the missiles at the same time did the city, and the civilization finally fall leaving me, the magnificent and most perfect King Gilgamesh, as ruler of the world... with my best buddy Enkidu!

"Kill more people Gil... Kill more..."

But this cannot be... my buddy Enkidu demands more WAR! More foes to defeat! I immediately instruct our top scientists to research space travel so that we can find enemies on other planets that I can conquer for the great crab! I must become the Master of the Universe!

Insight: Helicopters can't "fly" over water as they get packaged up in a transport ship  but are otherwise more free moving than planes.

Civ VI: Not so Great Wall

[Part of the Civilization VI story]

With only two other civilizations competing against me for world domination, I turn my attention to China next. These peaceful tea drinkers have setup quite a good defense with their alliance with the city-state of Jerusalem, making good use of their medieval cannons and cannonades to kill General Rani and many of her troops.

In response I rush the development of one of our new mobile weapon platform, the tank, researched both by Dmitri Mendelev and Albert Einstein with the monetary backing from the merchants Mary Katherine Goddard and Levi Strauss. This new vehicle of war crushes the Western Chinese border, right through their "not so great wall" while newly developed machine guns tear down the center. The Eastern border falls to my ancient battering rams backed by infantry, the same siege machines used against India so long ago.

Apparently guys with rifles plus an ancient wooden battering ram is just as good?

As China falls I am sad as I could not field our new flying machines against them too, not realizing they have a leash range attached to their respective aerodomes. No matter, I will find a way to use them on my final rival... Germany.

Insight: In later eras moving across the sea is faster than most land travel.

Civ VI: The Sellouts

[Part of the Civilization VI story]

Attacking Scythia, Kongo and Arabia all at the same time might be daunting to a lesser ruler, but with the resources of an entire continent it is easy to field superior troops despite them arriving haphazardly over the oceans. Armed now with muskets or better, my infantry led by Rani Lakshmbai supported by field cannons easily subdue enemy horsemen and horse bowmen sent against them and to the immediate besieging of cities.

Hmm Tomris has a movie... I should check it out sometime.

It is now that Saladin uses an interesting diplomatic technique: he sues for peace, offering all his cities but one for a significant payoff. Tomrys of Scythia and Mvemba of Kongo quickly follow suit, so quickly that Kongolese general El Cid is captured due to my acceptance as I figure it eases the combat fatigue on my troops. Little did I realize that peace meant Tomrys' Zoroastrian disciples can no longer be branded as heretics!

Still, they are foolish if they thought they could bankrupt me or force me to disband my armies as their cities make more capital than I paid for. It also helps that I have great wealth managers such as Adam Smith and John Rockerfeller back on the mainland. During their short earned peace I move all my forces in position and once I am able to (after a forced period of agreed peace), declare a colonial war against all of these backwards savages. Within mere days all three capitals are captured by the might of Sumer, and all three leaders sent to the deep to feed the great crab! For Crablantisism!

Insight: Accepting peace means you cannot attack those countries for at least 10 turns!

Civ VI: The World is Round

[Part of the Civilization VI story]

It takes many moons to research boat building and the wait is annoying to say the least. Fortunately the building is much faster as it is managed by the wealthy merchant John Jacob Astor. Now ready to begin the age of sailing, I send half my army West and the other half East in hopes of finding the remaining civilizations before they steal victory through some sly means.

Apart from some barbarian harassers, both fleets manage to find another mainland, or rather the same mainland as each other - simply landing on opposite ends of it proving that the world is round! We also quickly meet all the inhabitants of this land, the Germans who hold the frozen North, Arabia led Saladin on the Eastern shore, Scythia on the Western Shore, China in the South and Kongo with a massive territory right in the center.

I promptly executed all the morons in my kingdom who believed the Earth is flat.

Scythia is clearly the dangerous one as their religion, Zoroastrianism threatens to take over the globe faster than I can. The problem is she is allied with the Kongo, and all the city-states here obviously are controlled by local governments. Indeed, a problematic problem... for a lesser man. It's not a problem for me, because the solution is simple: ATTACK!

Insight: The more you research down the ship building tree the farther your land units can move into the water.

Civ VI: Generals are Generally General

[Part of the Civilization VI story]

Nestled in the Southwest, Greece led by Pericles were not much of a threat based on the leaderboard what with all those rumored cults and assassins running around. But I knew simply being ON the leaderboard meant that he could be a threat one day. This would not stand! Immediately I sent my horde right at them, as well as mercenaries from the nearby city-states of Lisbon and the same ones still on call from Toronto. I sent general Ana Nzinga to lead them and she perished in her very first combat. Some general she turned out to be!

Pericles really needs a bigger helmet.

By comparison, Pericles had the generals Jeanne D'Arc who somehow convinced Lisbon to switch sides early in the war and Sun Tzu who was a man on a mission with his magnificent defense of Athens. Indeed, he manged to defend until the main force arrived much later. While many of my men died, many more were left standing to capture all their cities. Lisbon was the first to taste of the wrath of my new invention... the field cannon, and quickly surrendered upon doing so - burning Jeanne D'Arc at the stake to show their solidarity with me.

With Pericles and Sun Tzu fed to the crabs, this entire island was now the land of Sumer. I am victorious! Unfortunately this is not true, as a man named Gaius Duilius informs me of lands beyond the sea, and would show me if I could lend him a boat. As any great leader at the time would do, I asked "What is a boat?"

Insight: Military Districts are great city defense tools.

Civ VI: Aztec Protest

[Part of the Civilization VI story]

Knowing I would need to up my game against Montezuma and his Protestant Aztecs, I allied with the nearby city-state of Toronto and formed the Riders of Sumeria - warriors who fought on horse back, which are pretty close to the magnificent beasts that were donkeys. As expected, Montezuma rallied forces from the city-states of Hattusa and Stockholm to flank my troops but the warriors and archers of Toronto out matched them, somehow capturing Hattusa in the process!

For Quetza-Jesus-lcoatl!

Much respect is to be given to Montezuma's Eagle Warriors though, as they took to school everything I sent at them, including my new horsemen. However, since he spent so much time training Protestant preachers, his forces were again badly outnumbered and once forced to retreat within city walls we had them. Even hiding his capital behind a mountain range protected by the city-state of Valetta wasn't enough for him to hide as we soon captured both. Montezuma perished on that final battlefield with a small victory, he killed so many of my archers that it became a cursed profession and was made obsolete.

Still I was now in control of most of the known land, so I recruited the scholar Thomas Aquinas to found a new religion to combat the Protestant plague... Crablantisism! Yes. The worship of the mighty crab is a sure fire way to win the peoples hearts, minds and souls. Alas, it doesn't really gain any traction as the merchant Jakob Fugger informs me of yet another civilization nearby which gets all my attention... Greece.

Insight: Trade routes can also spread religion!

Civ VI: Carnival Science

[Part of the Civilization VI story]

With the North completely under control I now focus on the Southeast of the continent where my scouts had found the current scientific leaders of the world, the Brazilians led by Pedro. It takes some time to get all my forces in position along his border, including mercenaries from Zanzibar which gives him time to bolster his crossbowmen defense no doubt introduced to him by the great writer Qu Yuan, which individually out do my own archers.

However, upon declaring war by marching into his territory they are ill prepared for the numbers that come crushing into their cities all at the same time. The Zanzibar catapults certainly help bolster the battering rams and after a short and fierce battles all their cities become mine. I have to admire Pedro who didn't beg and plead for peace at the end like all the previous leaders and simply took that catapult thrown boulder to the face like a real man.

A saying spoken by those who have never been beaten by sticks or stones.

Meanwhile Qu Yuan fled to the neighboring territory to the South East, where we found him already killed by the Protestants there (or perhaps he killed himself?). That faith is quite problematic actually, as it is currently ranked number 1 in the world and backed by the huge and not so peaceful Aztec civilization.

Insight: Cities can be tough but will be overrun by superior numbers. You'll need more numbers if you are behind on the tech curve however.

Civ VI: The Warlord Ghandi

[Part of the Civilization VI story]

Led by their most violent war chief Ghandi, the Indian capital of Delhi was well defended with walls, elephants and archers! As this was our first experience against ranged weapons, my poor donkey carts were getting annihilated - I sent them around to raze the less defended Calcutta and Agra instead, angering them greatly! So much that the evil Ghandi proceeded to wipe out every donkey on the continent and rendering my donkey carts obsolete!

Elephant archers are pretty tough!

Knowing I must fight fire with fire, I too begin sending archers (as elephants were just too hard to master) using India's own tech against them! In response, Ghandi's allies in the city state of Zanzibar began marching on my capital with catapults but my spearmen guards hold the line. Finally, my two battering rams arrive at Delhi and after suffering tremendous losses finally capture the capital and the final village of Mysore where Ghandi is hiding. For his crime of donkey extermination, he is executed by being sat upon by one of his beloved elephants.

Seeing him literally crushed, Zanzibar quickly changes it's tune and names me its suzerain. It has the opposite effect in Delhi where a large band of warrior monks begin an uprising but all of them are easily and immediately put to death as my army is literally still standing there when they choose to act.

Insight: Being suzerain of city states lets you temporarily control their military which works well in times of war, and all you need to do is send envoys... more than anyone else has sent them anyway.

Civ VI: King of the Donkeys

[Part of the Civilization VI story]

In the beginning, there were donkeys and barbarians. Some of those barbarians decided to follow me, the great King Gilgamesh to fight the other nearby barbarians while others decided to follow women instead! What an insult! There in the West we found our first neighbor, a Queen Victoria who dared to offer us tea - so with my army of donkey powered war carts, we took control of London sending her fleeing to the nearby village of Sheffield.

Behold, the most dangerous unit at the beginning of time!

Hoping to secure peace, she then agreed to ally with us to fight her Northern neighbor Catherine de Medici and her French folk. With their warriors and scouts unable to stop my donkeys, Paris and La Rochelle quickly fell at which time I returned to capture Sheffield and their so called Queen. With their cities now flying my banner and both trouble makers sent to my donkey-harem, my legions swept to the Northeast where we would face our most difficult challenge yet... India and their elephants!

Insight: There are many ways to win this game, I'm going for the most boring: world domination! If you want a tale of how better rulers fared, be sure to check out the succession game on Time to Loot! :)