Beauty and the Beast (2017)

Stockholm syndrome to the max.

When an asshole prince his court are cursed to look other than human, they have no option but to capture locals that wander into their ruined palace and try to rape them. I mean, make them fall in love with them, but you can tell they tried option one first.

I don't recall how the animated version got away with this, but this live action one starring Emma Watson heavily falls into the Stockholm syndrome area - and the only reason people end up siding with the Beastly Prince (Dan Stevens) is that her other suitor, Gaston (Luke Evans), is an even bigger douche bag.

Oh, maybe it didn't...

Problem number two: surprisingly, the CGI doesn't do it for me here - especially the teapot and tea cup. Those looked particularly amateurish. Problem three: It is BORING. We were literally falling asleep while watching this, either because we knew what would happen next or bad pacing. At least there were some new songs, but for the most part if you've seen the cartoon movie you've seen this. Worse, the cartoon movie is superior. I give this one 1 candlestick out of 5. Skip it.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (I & II)

Or Deathly boring then just Deathly. :P

Only recently did I get around to watching the final two movies of the Harry Potter storyline, and they certainly are very different beasts. If you haven't watched any of the previous movies you are going to be quite lost too, so I wouldn't start here and go backwards.

After the opening Part I is a snooze fest, due to the heavy reliance of "intrigue" in the plot and prior connection to characters introduced in earlier films. If like me, you don't remember or don't care about said characters then this is certainly not going to keep your attention. From an anime watcher stand point I'm almost inclined to say it's filler.

What the hell are we watching?

Nothing wrong with the acting or the effects, it's just really the plodding storyline that kills it. No such issue in Part II though, since they can finally focus on all the action as the forces or good and evil battle it out, already making it a much more entertaining film for me.

There's a fair bit of death happening in both movies too, but for me it's almost like the movie maker tried to keep in more to the PG side of things with many characters dying off screen - Harry just sees their bodies or hears about their demise later on. I suppose that's how it is in the books(?) but I for one would have liked to see just exactly how they died, because gore = fun.

I think the main problem though with both movies is that it's counting on you to be invested and on-side with people already, which is fine if you are. Less fine if you aren't. That's not a problem with these book-end movies per se, but it certainly means its a problem in the earlier ones.

All up, I give Deathly Hallows I 1.5 brooms out of 5 and Deathly Hallows II 3 wands out of 5. For non Potter fans who haven't yet seen them, Part II is entertaining enough but you might need to wade through Part I to get there. It really is a "play it in the background while doing something else" film.

Today I Smiled: Blog Status Mid 2014

The last time I did this I was in the middle of upgrading my house. I find it interesting to see what's changed over one year. First let's start with my top posts of all time (so far)!

Proving that guides are the best way to get an audience...
Rank #1 - Fastest way to gain AP
Rank #2 - State of Decay: Tips to reach Level 10

Followed by "sex sells"...
Rank #3 - Blood and Jade
Rank #4 - League of Angels

And lastly, if you write (enough of it) it will be read... eventually...
Rank #5 - Skyrim's Adventure Journal

My current post count is 542 (up from 245).
Top 5 audience countries: USA, Australia, Russia, UK, and Germany.
Using: Firefox (34%), IE (32%) and Chrome (21%). The rest use weird stuff! ;P

Most common search keywords: Still "Skyrim Hamburger" and "Pile of Ash" at the top. Funny that "Blood and Jade" and "Emma Watson Latex" get a mention though!

Followers: 2 (up from zero. Get in quick as there are only 49,998 spots left! LOL)
Page views: 56,473 (up from 10,101 - pretty sure this is thanks to two rounds the NBI!)
Comments - the stat I am happiest with: Previously 6.

Now: 320!

Yes, half of those is me replying but still! Thank you very much to everyone who has read and commented on my posts - it has definitely put a smile on my face. :D

Wizards of Deltis Keep

Part of the journals from Wizardry Online! You can view the rest here!

We were summoned to the Ministry of Arcanum today by Prime Minister Zermu Terlu, a large dwarf with an equally large beard. Apparently they had been sending survey teams out, finding that some of the waterways in the nearby ruins are connected to "Dragoon Ruins", which may have a link to the mana drain being experienced in this land. To this end he has sent us to Deltis Keep to locate and assist the survey team trapped within. The keep itself is best described in three wings.

West Wing: Firecracker's Entrance
Home to more beetles and firecracker bandits and fighters, these people are rarely found alone making them challenging to deal with. "Mighty Dog", a porkul thief that Thanam befriended near the entrance actually tasked us to find their stash of salt for him. Eventually we did, using a key from one of their warriors to unlock the store room. Inside were horribly strong zombies but Mr. Caanon's long spear kept them at bay. Also in this area is a large executioner called Death Carrier who is a very tough fight if you are not fast with your evades. Last but not least, nearby is a "walker" (reaper) who I could detect with my magic. It's definitely a scary place!

SouthEast Wing: King Plumper's Territory
Protected by a barrier from two blue feather wizards (and their body guards), the area beyond isn't so bad. Mostly beetles and possibly a wallet frog, unless you go looking for trouble (which we did) and located another wizard and a purple air elemental who we just left alone. The main inhabitants here are the Junk Metals Highwaymen and their leader King Plumper, with whom Mighty Dog wants to initiate trade with. While Mr. Plumper is quite personable his men are not and will still attack on sight!

North Wing: Execution Chamber
The most dangerous place in the keep is right after a passage with many beetles. It is a large hall with roaming wizards, guards and another Death Carrier. Worse still is that there are at least two reapers present here. Thanam managed to find a route past and located the survey team in the following room and they needed someone to defeat "Scapegoat" who was blocking their research. Caanon dealt with him and his zombies but reported seeing a strange sorceress appear right after. He claims she took the soul of his fallen enemy before vanishing again.

Something like this!

Once the path was cleared the survey team activated a nearby beacon so that we could escape back to town, which we did in a hurry. We weren't yet out of danger though because once we returned there was a mad elven wizard named Solfus (pk) waiting at the gates attacking everyone. I and a few locals helped the guards fight him off before he vanished into the back streets. With the evil spreading even to here I can only hope Mighty Dog is ok back in that keep.

-Selenka