The Long and Winding Road

Adventures in Skyrim - spoilers ahead! You can follow the whole story here!

Belrand and I made a stop at Riverwood to find the owner of a mysterious note. Upon finding this secret agent, she insisted I prove my dragon soul consuming ability by going to where she thinks a dragon is going to appear. This happens to be a -very- long way away but I decide to jog along with her the whole way there, marking out new land marks as we pass them. Finally we reach the site and the big black dragon who I saw at the start is here. Not missing a beat I engage it in combat and seem to irritate it. Without missing a beat it summons another dragon (who I know as "Sucker") from the ground before flying off. I call it that because as soon as it came out we just beat it back down to death and I ate its soul. Big black draggy has flown off, possibly because it saw how poor Sucker fared.

Secret agent girl is impressed and leaves to do some planning, so Belrand and I do the nearby tasks I have in the area, as well as for the people in a small settlement nearby. One of them is to find out what the hell I did when Lydia and I had that drinking contest awhile back. I've been slowly tracking down where I needed to go and it's led me to a fortress filled with magic users, including one psychotic pyromancer. Anyway, after dealing with him we find a portal to misty realm where I find the guy who issued the drinking challenge in the first place. He turns out to be the daedra Sanguine playing a prank.

I don't like pranks OR pranksters and immediately go on the offensive. Fighting an actual Daedra is quite tough though, as all my attacks seem to go right through him as if he wasn't there at all. The fight goes on for at least a day, and Belrand meets his fate at the hands of the bastard daedra. Finally Sanguine tires of all of this and teleports me back to Whiterun. Damn it. At least I got some good block and light armor training from that. Since I had a few more tasks to hand in back at Solitude I headed back that way, picking up Benor the coward as my pack mule from Morthal. I also was proclaimed thane in both Morthal (by idiot Jarl) and Solitude (by widow Jarl) and was assigned a new housecarl in the latter. I left her to watch the new house I bought in Solitude while Benor and I continued on to Dawnstar.

On the way we came across an Imperial encampment where I killed the lone lookouts, then came across a volkihar vampire which led to an epic battle that lasted all the way to the port city. True to form Benor spent most of his time cowering or running away. It took a bunch of brave travelling khajit and a number of town guards to help take down this foe but finally it was dead and I was at my destination.

Beware Benor's wrath! :P

King and Queen

Adventures in Skyrim - spoilers ahead! You can follow the whole story here!

Found a Thalmor patrol in the mountains today and after killing them located their embassy high in the mountains. Unfortunately we could not break in. Continued onto the Imperial Stronghold of Solitude since it was nearby, and it must be a contender for the worst place to put a city. After overhearing general Tullius I knew for certain that the Empire and all who supported them were a bunch of sissies that loved bending over for the elves. At least the Widow Jarl there seems to be on the fence still. Helped out the people in town including my old buddy Sheogorath and a sneaksie Argonian Egyptian (Jaree-Ra?) which resulted in the death of some imperial fools, followed by a very obvious betrayal and the death of Mr. Ra and his marauder buddies. That actually worked out quite nicely for me as I left no witnesses alive.

Argis and I proceeded to clear out tombs of the dead men, including one King Olaf (a task which the bard's college threw a festival in my honor - very awesome) and for a change also some disease carrying Peryite worshippers (which, ironically was a task set by Peryite itself). Back outside we encountered a courier delivering a letter for me asking me to return to the Blue Palace where Widow Jarl is (good to see I'm not the only one delivering stuff). Once there we learn that old queen Potato who dabbled in necromancy was rising from the dead. We couldn't have that, so we charged into her quite deep burial chamber slaying all her minions until we reached her council chamber. There a large amount of dead men supported by the spirit of Queen Potato shooting lightning all over the place made for a good battle. All her minions were slain, but so was the Champion of Molag Bal. With only Potato left on her throne I decided not to use my 100 stealth or archery (which I reached sometime in this post) and instead challenged her head on with a glass dagger and Meridia's Dawnbreaker (very useful against the undead). It was a short battle because really, the Queen was no better than a Potato and my sword cooked her to non-existence.

The end of Queen Potato.
Back in Solitude I hired the crazy drunk spellsword Belrand to help carry my gear and we proceeded to the small town of Morthal which is run by a soothsaying, imperial supporting Jarl. My suspicions of her actually just being an idiot were confirmed when she said she assembled some fighting men to help me eliminate a nearby vampire nest. Instead of having well armed guards, she sends torch bearing townsfolk - most of whom lose their nerve once we reach the lair. Even Benor, the braggart who thought he was the "best fighter" in town until I punched his face in shat his pants and ran home. Whatever, this town seems to just be full of losers. After dealing with their problems I decided to head back to Whiterun to stow gear.

The Legend and the Champion

Adventures in Skyrim - spoilers ahead! You can follow the whole story here!

Found ourselves out at Rorikstead today where I recruited Erik "the Slayer" (after convincing his father that he should be allowed to go adventuring). The lad showed promise despite lack of experience, helping me retrieve a goat I sold to a giant (ehhh?), and a whole bunch of retrieval tasks involving more killing of forsworn. While helping the cannibal Eola clear a nearby cave of living dead (who she says tastes terrible) he stood up to another death overlord and survived. The kid, still travelling with me, seems to like him too and her ears perked up each time he told us stories of his favourite hero Red Eagle. It so happens I was investigating that partirular legend and we found his burial cairn atop a tall mountain. He also wasn't quite so dead. It was a drawn out battle, with the kid pitching in by throwing rocks and distracing the legendary dead man every now and then. By the end of it I finally struck down the ancient warrior, ending his unlife. We found Erik crumpled beside the sarcophagus, still and unmoving. He had been slain by his hero.

Overburdened with gear and a crying child I returned to Markarth to lighten the load. Decided to purchase property there as well and for my recent actions was proclaimed Thane of this region. Met my new housecarl Argis in my new home too and he agreed to join me on my travels. We also hired the priest -whatshisname- since Eola asked for one for some ceremony at the cave we cleared earlier. Wasn't quite paying attention again. Decided to first revisit the not so abandoned house to find the stupid Boethian I rescued earlier trapped by the altar I explicitly told him was going to trap him. -.-

The altar then proclaimed that it would win their duel of wills this time as it had a champion. Hah I think not stupid altar. Except it wasn't talking about me. Argis, influenced by the daedra, killed the idiot. The altar proclaimed him champion of Molag Bal and granted him an evil looking mace. Between myself, the kid and -whatshisname- we dragged him out of there before he was turned any further into a daedra's bitch. After dropping the kid off at her temple and a quick goodbye we went to Eola's cave and found a whole bunch of people waiting here, some I recognize from the city. Turns out they're all people eaters and -whatshisname- is for lunch. He's already mesmerized by Eola's voice. I have nothing against cannibals, but murdering some innocent dude whose name I don't even know for your happy meal is just not on. As she sashayed towards the altar I snuck behind her and in one awesome finishing move, slit her throat and tossed her body down the stairs. Her guests met equally bloody and violent ends and -whatshisname- returned to the city alive.

Argis and I then beat up some giants, delivered some items, and reunited a dog with its master before returning an artifact to the shrine of Meridia. She wanted us to clean out her temple from some defiling evil which turned out to be quite easy as the shades were no match against the champion of Molag Bal and his shadow. Indeed the most challenging part was talking to her statue which had a bad habit of bringing me high into the sky then dropping me to my death. With enough retries, I finally got through those sections without breaking every single bone in my body. :P

Joe to the Rescue

Adventures in Skyrim - spoilers ahead! You can follow the whole story here!

With most of my tasks now lying on the outskirts of Markarth, I hired the mercenary Vorstag and bought the war dog Vigilance to tag along finding them useful against the pockets of forsworn we kept running into. The first major task was to pickup a "marked" child for the temple of Dibella, but it turned out she had been captured by a large band of those forsworn scum. Joined by her father we assaulted the ruined tower they were holed up in but alas during the opening assault he was stabbed to death and Vigilance was roasted alive. Vorstag and I massacred the remaining defenders and secured the girl whose name I cannot pronounce. I just call her 'the kid'.

It seems the kid didn't want to just trade one prison for another straight away and pleaded to come with me. After getting her old man killed how could I refuse? On the road we'd play hide and seek, and she looked like she was able to take care of herself; making herself scarce during combat and pointing out dead bodies for me to loot afterwards. Apart from that one time where Vorstag and I had to rescue her from a rampaging ice bear.

Speaking of Vorstag he was really beginning to show his powers, using all sorts of weapon combinations and being a general kickass, even summoning flame atronarchs every now and then. He even stood toe to toe against a zombie death overlord as well as a lich living at the top of Volkswagen tomb (or something similar).

It's a scary place!

Also came across a captured priest of Boetheia and freed him too, warning him that an altar of Molag Bal back in the city intended to do nasty things to him. The first thing the idiot does is head straight there. Well, he has it coming. Pushed on to the next major rescue for folks from Whiterun. The three of them had been camping out in the snowy mountains for weeks waiting for me to show up. Whoops. The hostage is being kept prisoner by a large group of well armed Thalmer (elf) bastards. I try to convince the barbarians that a sneaky approach is best, but before I can even finish sniping the first guard with my bow they all charge head on. It is a bloody skirmish, and while all the elves were killed we lost two of the three plainsmen as well as the mighty Vorstag (again in the opening assault). The remaining survivor and his brother (the prisoner we released) head off into hiding and it's now just me and the kid on the road.

After backstabbing a sleeping blood dragon that was full from eating imperial soldiers at a nearby outpost (quickest dragon kill thus far - under 10 seconds!), I helped a captured hagraven reclaim her tower from another witch allied with more forsworn. These guys seem to be everywhere in these parts. Well, the hagraven proved to be very helpful, had a good sense of humor and since she didn't try to kill me I left her in peace. If only more monsters were like that. :)

As an aside: Photo above is courtesy of AndreaS, who has more pics of abandoned and ruined places which is also an interest of mine. :)

Digging too Deep

Adventures in Skyrim - spoilers ahead! You can follow the whole story here!

Woke up in a Temple of Dibella, with a very irate priestess telling us to get out. Lydia is here too, passed out beside me. We get our things and find ourselves in... Markarth? What the hell happened? Seems there are many things afoot in this city built into the mountain. I also find it funny that their Jarl lives in a hole. Seems fitting for someone being bossed around by snooty elves. Our first major task lead us to the depths of a halted excavation. After dealing with the delay-causing giant spider we proceeded further into the expansive dwemer city infested by goblin-like creatures. They are individually weak but in numbers are fatal as Lydia found out when she was overrun by a group of them wielding their wicked blades. Continued through alone and finally reach the "Control Room" where I activated all the automated security. As I made my way out I wondered what sort of technology these dwarves (who haven't been seen in years) possessed to make such things. I also have a theory as to where they went...

Afterwards I began investigating a conspiracy involving the forsworn (who really sound like fancy bandits), and it seemed the more I found out, the more I was warned to back off. Recruited the brawler Cosnach at the tavern after defeating him in unarmed combat to add some muscle to my side and discovered that the forsworn leader is running the show from within the city prison itself. I know the guards there told me to go away but I might just have to break in now. During the search I also came across a not so abandoned house where I was forced to kill a fellow investigator in self defense after he was possessed by the daedric presence within. For all his might the dark lord still had to ask for outside help to get things done, because his power is limited to the house? What a tool. If he wasn't hiding inside that altar I'd stab his face right now.

Discovered quite a bit about how Markarth was being run and when I returned to the small shrine of Talos to report my findings, I found my contact dead with a trio of guards waiting to arrest me. To hell with that I said and drew my weapons. Fighting in such tight quarters was disadvantageous to me and more and more guards seemed to keep pouring in, but not fast enough to replace the ones I killed. Even my newest "ally" Cosnach turned out to be on their payroll as he attacked me with the sword of Falkreath I had given him earlier, but much like our previous duel it was I that remained standing in the end. The Shrine was littered with bodies when I was done, and after healing up I headed towards the prison mine only to be attacked by even more guardsmen. I lost track of how many I managed to kill but eventually they just managed to swarm me, knocking me into one of the waterways running through the city. Surrounded, low on resources and almost dead I finally surrendered. [Hero fail. :(]

Found myself tossed into the prison mine with no gear. Saves me from having to break in at least. Seems the majority of the forced labour here are forsworn, each with sappy stories and a pure hatred for the Nords (which I am). Protip: If you want me to feel sorry for you, don't insult / express a desire to kill me or my people right after. The mine was smaller than I thought and I found the forsworn king guy easy enough. He wanted me to help him escape. So I did, by cutting his throat from ear to ear. Used his escape plan to sneak out through some conveniently connected ruins and found the Silver-Hand responsible for the whole mess waiting for me. Having sorted out his problems he paid off my debts, cleared my name and returned my gear. With an aboutface I marched right back where I came, slaughtering my way through the tunnel to kill all the forsworn scum imprisoned in the mine. Unfortunately the guards were way ahead of me, and all the prisoners were all dead by the time I got there. Satisfied by this turn of events I made my way back to the surface.

Unhealthy Drinking

Adventures in Skyrim - spoilers ahead! You can follow the whole story here!

Upon returning to Whiterun to stow more gear in my house, Lydia, my housecarl, was complaining about being bored so I took her with me to try retrieve the sap of some holy tree. A pilgrim called Maurice also wanted to tag along, promising he wouldn't get in the way. Well, Maurice was a liar. The very first encounter out of town and he gets himself killed by an old orc. We found the magical sap anyway and upon exiting the sanctuary the night sky had a beautiful and mesmerizing aurora. It was then that I heard the roar. A blood dragon peered down at us from the night sky. I was careless.

Caught in the open I bolted to the nearest cover I could find with Lydia right behind me. Or at least I thought she was. When I reached a more defendable position she was nowhere to be seen, and the dragon was seemingly busy attacking everything else in the area. Unfortunately for it, that included a giant encampment where it decided to land. While I did get a few arrows into it this one was definitely killed by the mammoth it decided to try fight. After the battle (and stealing it's soul) I scoured the area for my companion and finally at around midday I found her severely injured in a shallow pool. She could do nothing but crawl. Picked her up and took her right back to Whiterun where I ordered her to get some rest in the house.

While there I remembered that Skjor, one of the inner circle and probably a werewolf, wanted to see me... at night. Found him alone and secluded and thought this would be the perfect time to off one more werewolf bastard. Knives in hand I snuck up behind him and stabbed hard. He went down on his knees but wasn't dead, so I did it again... and again. What the heck. He doesn't DIE. As disturbing as that is, it is more disturbing that he doesn't seem to care either, despite limping slowly now. Ok whatever. I follow him to his secret cave where he and Aela want me to drink infected blood. Ew. It's my decision he says, though he implies I have no choice. Well, whatever. Bottoms up! Maybe my demonic blood can counter th... Nope! I awaken in beast form. I test out these new found abilities and quickly find I'm not a werewolf. I'm a were-corgi. That's just great.

Beware my wrath!

Aela finds me sometime later to hit a Silverhand stronghold. Seems these guys have been busy! I was wondering where all the "wild" werewolves were. If only they talked first instead of attacking me outright (like those Redguards before) I would gladly help them out. Also it seems they managed to kill Skjor. I'd like to think it's because I weakened him earlier instead of a plot device. Aela is pissed and wants me to go recon another of their hideouts. I take the fully recovered Lydia with me and eliminate a bunch of other bandits as well, becoming a thane at Falkreath while I'm at it. No special bonuses or bodyguards there though. As an aside, I think the Jarl there is an ass. With the Silverhand plans in hand Aela then sends me to go hit what sounds like a main base. Since we are still carrying stuff to sell and all the shops closed for the night, Lydia and I decide to wait in the local tavern. After checking the local rumors we are challenged to a drinking contest by some random dude. I think it's a bad idea. Lydia thinks it will be fun. Peer pressure. Not being a drinker myself I got maybe two gulps down before totally passing out.

Skyrim's Adventure Journal

Hi all! Awhile back I decided to keep a log of my thoughts and adventures while playing through the Elder Scrolls: Skyrim, and as I logged more and more it occured to me that I wanted a cleaner way of keeping track of everything. So here is my Journal post, which will contain links to each short "chapter" I write, and will be updated each time I write. :)

Obviously lots of potential spoilers ahead. Without further ado...

The Adventures of Joseph Skyrim in Skyrim!
1. Another Noob in Riverwood
2. Dragons and Death
3. 7000 steps? It was over 9000!
4. Full Moon Tango
5. Unhealthy Drinking
6. Digging too Deep
7. Joe to the Rescue
8. The Legend and the Champion
9. King and Queen
10. The Long and Winding Road
11. Triple Dragon
12. Ashes to Ashes
13. A whole lot of killing
14. The Cleansing
15. Last City on the Right
16. The Bastardly Guards of Markarth
17. Master Thief
18. Preparing for the End
19. Once a Traitor, always a Traitor
20. Alduin is a Punk
21. The War that Waited for Me
22. Gotta Catch them All
23. Back in the Saddle
24. Heroes of Darkwater
25. New Bad Guys and Allies
26. Team Wipe
27. Wizards and Warriors
28. Palace Guardians
29. Enemy Number One
30. Unsupported Preparation
31. Southern Patrol
32. They know what I did last Blogger
33. Gyromancing the Stones
34. The Lioness
35. Leftovers
36. Recruitment Drive
37. Training Surprise
38. Doing the Hard Yards
39. A Test of Skill
40. Rites of Initiation
41. Duelling the Dead
42. Skyrim Scenario: A Curse of Iron
43. Like a Fish in a Barrel
44. Curiosity Fed the Cat
45. Two of Nine
46. Even the Smallest Person
47. Swan Song at Falkreath
48. A Comedy of Errors
49. Old Acquaintances
50. End of the Road
51. Fighting the Forsworn Army
52. Showdown at Sky Haven Temple
53. The New Order (Dawnguard DLC added)
54. A Bloody Massacre
55. Two for Two
56. Too Good to be Bad
57. Quakey Shakey Heart 
58. Angry Fangs
59. Did I just Die Again?
60. Scavenging Spirit 
61. Reading is Bad for You 
62. Bane of the Falmer
63. Fielding All Assets
64. We Charge the Castle
65. Immortal Blood
66. Parting Ways
67. Good Help is Hard to Find
68. Girl Power!
69. Fall of Fort Greymoor 
70. King of the Hill
71. Whiterun turned Red
72. A Crushing Victory
73. The True Hero (Three years later...)
74. The Castle is Mine
75. Opportunity
76. Head Ambassador
77. A Death of Infinite Spears
78. Herecinde's End
79. Monsters of the Northern Sea
80. Bigger Fish to Fry
81. The Eternal One
82. Cassia's Request
83. The Lakehouse
84. The Forgotten City
85. Punching for Science!
86. Not Part of the Solution
87. Keys in the Deep
88. Drinking Past the Pain
89. The Arbiter
90. Third Time's the Charm
91. Out of the Ordinary
92. A Nice View
93. Death Mountain
94. Key to the Underworld 
95. Going Down
96. There can be more than One
97. The First Key 
98. Southern Justice
99. Zombie Horde
100. Nine Lives
101. The Dragonslayers
102. Sanguine's Apprentice
103. Moving Target
104. Dragonborn "D"
105. No Interruptions... Almost
106. The Steady Tide
107. Blood Bath
108. And then I died?
109. The Flash
110. Now you see Me
111. The Student
112. Plotting the Course
113. Summerset Isle
114. Middle of Nowhere
115. Teaching them a Lesson
116. End of Eternity
117. My One Weakness
118. Return to Nirn
119. Mellori's Minions
120. Simple Clarity
121. Flames of Oblivion
122. Tomb of the Nerevarine
123. Reincarnated 
124. Ur Dead
125. Tusaron
126. Unremarkable
127. Some form of Suicide 
128. Dolan
129. Matryoshka Orb
130. Equivalent Exchange
131. Impressive Abilities 
132. The Storm Dragon
133. Where one List ends, another begins
134. The Quick and the Dead
135. Samel Returns
136. Monsters Sighted!
137. Dragon God Mode
138. Battle of Experimentation
139. The Deadliest Dragon
140. Vithdovah
141. Altar of the Ascended
142. Bigger Baddies
143. No Ascension 
144. The Bold and the Clueless
145. The One that Got Away
146. Non-Starters
147. About Jarling Time (Dragonborn and Hearthfire DLCs added)
148. Familiar ash, unfamiliar Darkness
149. Ewok Slayer 
150. First Encounter
151. Shouting at Stones
152. After the Fact
153. Off to see the Wizard 
154. Miraak
155. The Settling Dust
156. You aren't finished!
157. The Fall of Solitude 
158. Worthless
159. Hearthfire 
160. Minecraft
161. Curiosity and the Karstaag
162. The Ebony Warrior
163. A Criminal from Morrowind
164. Even in Death
165. What's Inside 
166. The Lifeless Vaults
167. Moonpath
168. Crazy Cats
169. Meeting Death
170. Tartarus
171. Script Breaker 
172. No Undeath
173. Secret Agent 
174. Disavowed
175. Lull-Mor
176. Modified Bananas
177. The Boiling Foundry
178. Into Darkness
179. The Bottom of the World
180. Archeron
181. Falskaar
182. Dream Crystal
183. Robbing the Bandit
184. Recovery Specialists
185. Blood Lust
186. Yngvarr's Folly
187. Hammar Time
188. Thalmor Agent Yyon 
189. The Dragonlord
190. An Ancient Quest
191. Far Traveled 
192. Tomb Raider 
193. Cheetahs and Cheese
194. The Gray Fox Lives
195. Thirty Days of Skyrim (questionnaire)
196. New Life Unlock (The Elder Scrolls Online)
197. The Snake has Two Heads
198. Summon Cheese 
199. A Giant Problem
200. The Recruiter
201. The Secret Fire
202. Elf Nazis
203. Nothing goes to Plan 
204. Attack on Coldharbour
205. Dangerous Celebration
206. The Alchemy of Graphics Cards
207. Convoluted by Design
208. Heart Eater (Dragon's Dogma: Dark Arisen)
209. Stage One - DEATH!
210. Into the West
211. Many Heads, All Hungry
212. Vocational Dangers
213. The Bich
214. Settlements 
215. No Salvation
216. Safe as China
217. Placing Ports
218. A Tale of Women
219. The Demon of Indecision
220. Audience Gathering 
221. A Punishable Offense
222. Fool's Errand
223. Now You See Me
224. Rescuing the Girl
225. There's your god
226. Aught to Kill You
227. Just can't Win 
228. The Everfall
229. Ur-Stronger
230. Breaking the Loop
231. Beyond Reach (Return to The Elder Scrolls Online)
232. Perchance to Dream
233. Daedric Tharn
234. All these People Suck
235. The Dumb and the Dead
236. Not so Graht
237. What is dead may never die
238. Unfriendly Terrain
239. The Last March
240. Writhing Worms
241. Molag Bal 
242. Forlorn Crags

These adventures have finished for now. Thank you for reading! :)