The Heavy Standard: The Sword of Cats

[Part of the Party Time journal]    

Around a fourth of the 555 opt to remain in the peaceful Painted City, and the remainder are armed with Eastern type armor and weaponry as agreed by the Painted Lady. After passing through the Blue Forest and dodging a few jiang shi (hopping vampires) they come across an obliterated land scape with a mountain in the shape of a cracked egg in the center of a crater in the distance while the remnants of the Waiting magic academy lies in ruins closer to the plateau walls.

They opt to go to the academy and learn it was a good choice, as that mountain is full of hostile aliens that fortunately can't stand the sunlight. Nevertheless a skeleton looking mage-builder (he drank a flawed potion of permanent invisibility) hammering away on a bomb he is building requests they explode the thing, but they refuse - opting instead to simply buy his other wares which include bracers of magnetism (to each other), a variety of potions (that are all just soft drinks), and a sword of cats.

With this they proceed into the endless sandstorm of the Niga desert and happen to wander into the base of the Cult of the Grey, fanatic slavers who worship a tall gray alien who claims to have saved the world by shooting down the egg-mountain and continues to save the world by generating an endless sand storm so that other hostile races don't come visit. He says all of this while using a large metal spear-straw to impale chained captives and drink them like disposable juice canisters, crunching them up and tossing them away when he's done.

The team opt to slay him and his cult, setting the remaining captives free who help lead them to the Nigian city of Babababa which holds a gateway up to the Waiting City plateau. A small encounter with spider cacti lets Juris test out the sword of cats which turns defeated enemies into regular cats! At the city itself the surviving Nigians of the 555 get them past any security and they offer to escort the tithe wagon of amputated female slaves to their great wizard, Feckless Licker, up to his tower in the cursed land. To save the slaves from further pain, Juris stabs them with the sword of cats and turns them all into (full bodied) random cats too and lets them go free.

The Heavy Standard: The Painted City

 [Part of the Party Time journal]   

With the tower guardsmen now supplementing the 555s (along with the reluctant elves, dogs and 4 froggies) they use the main underground tunnel to make their way underneath the "ape tower" and onwards to the main shaft - a deep spiraling hole with many smaller tunnels branching off in every direction, at the bottom of which is another long corridor that ends in... a collapsed section dead end! They didn't run into anything on their way here but now trapped they here the unmistakable "laughter" of the apes as the army of monkeys flank them in the tunnel.

There's nothing to it but to fight their way out, and Eagle and the elves roll fantastically - easily clearing the path back to the spiral shaft. Here the apes, now coming from every orifice and throwing boulders from the high ground have a massive advantage and mercilessly kill every single elf in the unit before Juris puts up a wall of dust to aid in their escape. They exit at ape tower and encounter a huge silverback sitting on a throne of bones but Eagle shoots it in the eye and it just scampers off. They do the same as the barricades they put behind them are sure not to last very long...
 
Continuing Eastward they descend from the misty hills and find a great river controlled by a group of kappa bandits but Juris easily nullifies them by freezing the river, granting them passage to the Painted City - a society of artists, musicians and crafters who all worship the Painted Lady as their goddess, all safely tucked away behind a massive wall of a moving mural.

The only way forward is through but they aren't allowed to bring any weapons or armor through the city so they bargain with the Painted Lady, who agrees to provide them with equivalent gear after they convince some fishermen down at the docks to return to being faithful to her and not to listen to the voice of Lady Longwein telling them they are trapped in a painting. Agrellon still gets a seed of water from this exchange (they were meant to plant it in the Painted Lady's palace), and Juris also gets another deal with the Painted Lady of regaining some youth in exchange for forgetting his magic. He accepts.

The Heavy Standard: The Fool's March

[Part of the Party Time journal] 

Meanwhile Eagle leads the others including Dr. Qwek Qwek and the elves South to the shore, away from where the wind was blowing. A strange woman floating on the water introduces herself as Lady Longwein (whose power is limited to the ocean she says) offers to help stop the spreading forest fire by using a seed of water she provides them before vanishing into the night. They just have to put it at a specific part near the frozen waterfall close to the fortress. The elves are obviously keen on doing this so they accept and circle around the forest fire inadvertently putting them back into the mirrored grove... the team members who had previously had hair taken by crows suddenly explode in flames and more crows arrive as a voice calls out that they broke their promise!

Dr. Qwek Qwek manages to locate the naked crow controlling witch in the mirror grove and Eagle shoots her dead, but not before she immolates a few more of their number. They then make it to the spot to plant the seed of water and upon doing so are rewarded by a massive earthquake which quickly cracks around the swamp region and in a sudden motion the entire burning swamp sinks under the ocean. A most shocking end to that forest fire!

The remaining elves state they will join the 555 on their quest to the Waiting City as it was told that the Emperor had stolen a seed of their great tree long ago and planted it up there, but for now they will make camp here and recover from the shock of losing their home while the highlanders return to the Fool's March fort and meet up with Agrellon and Juris to rest up... losing a few more people to a disease before Dr. Qwek Qwek can cure it.

Soon enough a column of mounted Skyriver braves led by Bad Horse (built like an ox) approaches. As the 555s are trusted friends as decreed by the Death Speaker they can sort the mess the fort inhabitants caused when they kidnapped, abused and killed the chieftain's wife I-told-you-so. They simply strong arm all of the forts inhabitants to be taken as hostages for the tribesmen to enact their justice on those deserving it.

The Heavy Standard: The Forest Fire

[Part of the Party Time journal]  

Inside the tree is a mind trip of chambered puzzles involving keys: leaving an item to take a key off a pedestal, finding a key reflected in a mirror that's not there, defeating a scarecrow whose powers the players themselves decide (easy as non-flammable wasn't one of them), and saving four strangers who happened to be themselves. The queen herself serves only as a guardian to her daughter's room - she bestowed upon her all the powers of the forest for her to make her own paradise. They convince the queen to let them through and beyond find her daughter: a lich.

It is a swift battle once they realize it is a battle, because I was just going on with flowery narration while they are being life drained before Agrellon woke up (by DL saying "hang on what?"). He then body slammed her to wake the others up who then set her alight... which set the entire tree alight. At this point they've lost around 14 of the 555s, and I give them the remaining 20 reinforcements to control evenly.

Regrouping outside they find the old elves and the outpost elves staring in horror at the magical forest fire about to spread and those of them gifted in magic hold hands and try to "kumbaya" chant it away - only to fail and each explode in a horrible scream of brilliant flame rapidly one after the other. This sends Juris' dogs running off into the woods and he gives chase with Flipper, while Agrellon and his frog man chase after Juris. Miraculously (good rolling, supply spending and inspiring Flipper lol), he gets them all back unharmed but are now cut off from the others due to the fire.

To dodge it they head back to the Fool's March fort encountering a murderous silver haired elf on the way who is executing a human female (the local healer at the fort) for lying about the elves spreading a disease in the fort. The kill him unceremoniously and make it there, only to learn there's more trouble coming in the form of a Skyriver raid!?

The Heavy Standard: The Green Swamp

[Part of the Party Time journal] 

As the cavalry leader, Sparrow-touches-trees, does not seem hostile and only wants the child returned Agrellon passes a diplomacy check on his own people to truss up their own legion leader who is so anti-Southlander he's willing to murder the child (and proceed to murder the entire camp as per the Emperor's standing orders). The boy is returned and the 555s are allowed to make camp near the Skyriver tribe's base where they are given some food and learn that its been 25 years since their initial battle. Since then a great upheaval has closed off the routes up to the Waiting City which the 555 are interested to return to. After learning the hills to the East are dangerous they instead go West, leaving the anti-Southlander with the people he hates (and they kill him, feeding him to their Death Speaker who then names the 555 as friends to the tribe).

En route Juris manages to tame a pack of 12 wild dogs on the prairie before they come to the rocky, winding slope that leads down from the Southlands to the a green swamp. Halfway down is a rickety old fort of Fool's March manned by other old "Highlanders" (people from the Waiting City) who got trapped after the upheaval. While playing some dice poker for supplies they learn that no one can exit the swamp, for other than the creatures within strange elf magic prevents them from leaving it. Juris convinces the wavering 555 NPCs to continue the journey rather than stay here and so they descend into the knee deep muck and soon encounter a frogman village.

The froggies are friendly, and Dr. Qwek Qwek helps the constipated chief of his illness: eating stones to stay heavy as the heaviest is the chief. They are each given a froggy ally for this, despite Juris' rejections as his one, Flipper, is very amorous? Lol. The froggies prove to be good guides and can at least give them a choice between passing a dry island of evil trees or a crocman nesting ground. They choose the latter and end up fighting through, then enter a mirrored grove where ravens snatch the hair of some of their soldiers. A voice warns them to leave and they agree, promising to not return this way - so they proceed unmolested.

Next they find some elves lying about in a glade, tripping on the lizards they're licking while one of them gets dragged away by a panther. They wake up and befriend these old guys who proclaim the end of the elves has long been coming: Emperor Hiatus' tactic of flooding their emerald forest and turning it into a swamp was effective and now their queen defies nature itself. They agree to escort the 555 to said tree, letting them pass a guarded elf outpost unchallenged up to the gigantic tree palace itself (now dying from over watering). Here the vines and vine controlled corpses are fought off with some losses as they push through to the large hollow to gain an audience with the elven queen.

Dragonheir: Elemental 100

[Part of the Cursed story line.] 

I failed to mention last time that there's a new camp mechanic where you can send up to three heroes for training, and they just gain XP per second which certainly helps in the grinding. You still need to grind for the materials to unlock higher levels though, and since the underground enemies are starting to get really tough I decided its time to farm for those big crystals in the three elemental zones - the level 100 version of them to at least gain 1 of the big elemental crystals per run (but supplementing with little ones at a 10:1 ratio).

Frost Lady Glacia (100) is easily handled by Fire main (100 back) / Heksandra (90 back) / Garius (90 mid) / Horrus (90 front) / and Eli (83 back). The double heals from Heksandra and Garius plus Horrus taunt and damage reduction are pretty good, and ranger Eli is an ok damage dealer but probably needs to be switched out for a better substitute at some point. The Lightning Dragon (100) I can handle with Fire main (100 back) / Voresh (90 back) / Ripekas (90 back) / Horrus (90 front) / Lucien (90 front). Lucien (the legendary elf) is not a strong a tank as Horrus or Garius, but his abilities to start everyone with a shield and freezing flank are pretty handy.

She seems like something that came from Elden Ring.

That just leaves the Lady of Flame (100) and honestly, I didn't have a team that could beat her reliably until I maxed out Garius (100). With him backed by Voresh (90) / Zhar'loth (90) / Ripekas (90) / Lucien (90) I could finally make some headway here. If you are wondering why you'd want to level up more than just your main party, this section of the quest answers that by introducing TEAM battles. Much like the team arena, I now need to send more than one squad into each battle and heroes can't be deployed more than once - and if one team fails their fight, your entire squad fails!

Since this zone is asking for two squads my line ups are Fire main (100)/ Zhar'loth (97) / Voresh (96) / Garius (100)/ Lucien (90) and Horrus (90) / Ripekas (99) / Sutha (95) / Heksandra (90) / Usha (90). Sutha the legendary orc berserker hits decently hard and fast, but she's nowhere as tanky as she looks. However, since I got a duplicate Sutha I wanted to try her out. You see, when you pull duplicate heroes of the lower tiers you just get some item refinement currency instead but for a duplicate legendary hero, they get a boost which seems to improve them by 8% each time (up to five times if you get that many duplicates). Alternatively, you can use dupes to buy legendary rank artifacts from the shop!

Dragonheir: Elf-landia

[Part of the Cursed story line.]

I made it out of the death lands and into a forest of elves (and am still playing the game surprisingly)! While I've rolled up a fair number of heroes the standouts are Vasska who summons skelies, Isitarian who summons a baby dracolich, and tank/healer Garius who I'm pretty sure is also a skele underneath that armor. As you can only deploy 5 heroes max that means everyone else (other than Heksandra who is an awesome cleric) is benched while dealing with the "ghost elf" threat. That is, elves aren't ascending/being reborn and instead are just hanging around as angry ghosts. Awesome!

Yes, I'm surprised that there's actually a story in here too. Also, there's multiple game modes. Some fights are tower defense things where ranged area folk do better than say Garius. Others like the goblin camp just require super high DPS for your team to clear the waves of goblins in under a specific time to unlock better rewards and a harder mode so that you can do it all again! I found the grind! Lol. Seriously though, EXP which is used to level up your heroes is found in potions which is by design I suppose so that you can better direct which heroes you want to level. The rewards of the goblin camp are almost exclusively EXP potions so you'll need to go in there. Each run consumes "stamina" which is recovered every day or by eating special food items.

Vasska and Garius grinding up some fire crystals.
The fire boss lady is too lazy to stand up!

At particular levels though, EXP potions aren't enough. You need to go into one of three elemental realms to farm up the correct crystal for your heroes element. This also costs stamina, and sure the elemental realms drop crystals but they don't drop EXP potions. Oh! And there are grave sites which you can raid (again costs stamina) for gear. Each grave site drops one particular set of gear which you wear for a matching bonus. These ONLY drop gear and no EXP potions or crystals. I see a trend forming here...

Dragonheir: What the heck is this?

[Part of the Cursed story line.]

This D&D 'somewhat' idle gacha game (less idle than Idle champs though) starts off with a fight against Tiamat, and then you wake up in some death lands where your character is 5 times the size of the map POI's like villages and fortresses. I'm guessing this is because they designed the people at "combat size" and then just went - meh - and kept them that size for world exploration while everything else is shrunk down. It takes a bit of getting used to but you get used to it after awhile.

Combat is clearly the focus of this and while you start with Olaf the skeleton to support your Ice/Fire/Lightning Mage (you must be a mage) he'll soon be joined the dark elf Noteera, troll Gulal, dwarf Forbit and healer Heksandra. Again, its obvious that devs went "meh" at one point as Noteera and Gulal have mini-cutscenes when activating their ultimate abilities while everyone else does not. Outside of setting up your initial battle position there only thing you actively control in battle are those ultimate abilities, and these greatly vary between characters - which is where the "gacha" comes in. Earn dice to roll for heroes! And spoilers: a lot of them suck!

I guess someone makes weapons and armor of that size...?

Fortunately for this early bit that doesn't seem to matter as you'll be smashing through baddies with no problem. In fact it might get to the point where you just press that "auto" button during combat so that the AI handles your ultimate for you. You know it's going to get bad when they provide an "auto" button for combat...

Frieren: Beyond Journey's End (Season 1) and Strong Girl Nam-soon (Season 1)

Featuring female protagonists that make you laugh and cry. In a good way.

Frieren: Beyond Journey's End (Season 1)

 
This anime is a strange masterpiece. It takes place in a Dungeons and Dragons like fantasy world focusing on Frieren the long lived elf mage, and the story begins with her and the party of heroes having saved the world from a demon king - usually the end of a campaign but that's ok, because this is a mostly a melancholic drama about characters growing as people. As a bonus there just happens to be a good portion of awesome action sequences on top of the excellent art, music and story. I'm sorry Blue Lock, this is now my favorite anime as it regularly hits me in the feels. Highly recommended!

Strong Girl Nam-soon (Season 1)

This continuation in the world of Strong Girl Bong-soon gives us a new cute protagonist but unlike Bong-soon, Nam-soon (and her family) has no problems making use of her superhuman strength in public. While yes, there are bad guys who just happen to be idiots despite their good looks, this is mainly a love story with a heavy focus on humor. This works for the most part but in the few episodes where Nam-soon is taking a back seat in the plot it can get quite taxing... Ultimately if you enjoyed Bong-soon you'll probably like this too, but just don't expect it to be as good.

Pathfinder: Thistlebottom

[Part of the Party Time journal] 

Close to where the pantsless bugbear was slain we find the mercenary Orik barricaded in his room who convinces us he wants out of the bad guy's team. Kyra (Rose) convinces him to work for us instead and he takes point while slaying a giant octopus and on the next level down is the one who kicks in the door to his ex-boss' room after Merisiel (mom) disarms a hallway trap in the way.

His ex-boss is super angry at this and nearly kills him and King Fat Mouth while her pet dog, which flies and is as terrifying as the ones in the chapel, hops over the defensive line and mauls Ezren (Juris) almost to death! Lucky the mage can land some tazer prods (wand of shocking grasp) to weaken the creature before Valeros (me) slays it. A ridiculous critical from Shay (GM DL) unexpectedly slays the boss lady and the party rests before delving deeper to the section not even she and her minions reached.

Opening a massive evil door the party is greeted by... empty space? Merisiel precieves something huge cloaked in the air so Ezren sends a flaming sphere up there to explode it, and it hits - revealing a barghest that these Lamashtu cultists were trying to free! It mauls Shay and Orik severely but in turn gets caned by magics from Fat Mouth,  Kyra and Ezren (who blinds it), while Valeros, Shay and Merisiel (flanking back stab bonus) hack away at it (Orik's non-magic sword can only nick it).  Ultimately it is Kyra's summoned celestial eagle that slays the fiend with its beak and talons that can smite evil!

After defeating such a horrendous foe, clearing out the remaining rooms of a trio of shadows and a gigantic crab is something of an after thought with the party's soaring morale. With that, the dungeon is clear and the quest is complete! King Fat Mouth is allowed to take whatever he can carry and get out of there (no doubt to Shay's protests) while the rest of the party returns to Sandpoint victorious!

Pathfinder: Thistlemiddle

[Part of the Party Time journal]

Somehow the first thing Ezren (Juris) does after his rest is to find some treasure in the goblin shitter, before Valeros (me) once again bumbles into some sort of research room with a female mage and her cat. Initiative favors the heroes so said mage gets boxed in quickly and despite using mirror images, invisibility and enfeeblement on Valeros she still gets wrestled by the strong warrior (I wrestled the air with a natural 20) and then eliminated by (mom) Merisiel's rapier. We let the cat scoot off as more stairs down are discovered, but we opt to clear this floor first - quickly finding a chapel to Lamashtu guarded by two flying dogs?

Said dogs unleash unnerving howls which terrify everyone but Shay (NPC GM DL) who stays to fight while everyone else bolts back upstairs to the warhorse. The elf ranger almost dies to the beasts before Kyra (Rose) can get back to provide much needed healing which saves her as the others eventually make it back to help put down these horrible creatures that somehow also have damage reduction (all DMG done to them is at -5! Lucky we only ran for 2 rounds, that could have easily been 8). It's a bit unnerving that everything probably heard that fight but the party presses on into a nearby jail cell where they find a dying King Fat Mouth, their goblin buddy back from Black Fang's Lair!

Apparently when the goblin tribes were called together his was one that refused to attack Sandpoint and were instead offered in flames to Lamashtu at the adjacent chapel. Shay recommends putting him out of his misery but Valeros puts a stop to that quick, instead healing Fat Mouth with potions and gearing him up with the local goblin leaders gear as he is looking for some payback. They then move on and for a change it is Merisiel (mom) who blunders into the next room (rolled 1 on stealth check) where they catch the bugbear Bruthazmus (Shay's nemesis) with his pants down in a goblin harem. A couple of flaming hands and good strikes (we charged into the tiny space) ended this fight quick.

While we aren't done with this floor it was getting late so we ended the session there.

Decluttering Day 27: A Hershey's chocolate shoulder bag.

Dark Deity: One Finger Discount

[Part of the Cursed story line]

At a remote island fortress where they secure the god aspects, Vesta's superiors are hesitant to aid the mainland and instead order her and her allies to undertake the trial of soul to either kill them or make them stronger. WTF? Worse, they don't know the location of said trial and instead instruct the company to go into the forest and steal a magic compass from the "feral" tribal elves to guide them to this trial and are accompanied by less-tribal elves Maeve (archer), Thae'lanel (psycho spear guy) as well as Wren the murderer. The superiors also make it clear that they don't want to see the team again, under any circumstances because they're super friendly like that.

The tribal elves are a serious problem and harass the column the entire way to their death trap temple, which is complete with spike traps and poison gas. Brooke and her rapier win an epic duel against tribal spear living doll guardian Nao before snatching the device and getting out of there but there are some serious injuries sustained: Samara goes insane and throws herself on a spike trap, Benji has his soul burned away, and Garrick loses a finger. The compass points to a location at sea and sure enough they find a temple there that warns "the only foes you will face are the ones you bring" so Aurima goes alone to fight himself and wins / loses?

Rolling Damage List:
Irving [DEAD]
Cia [4/5]: -1 Str, -0 Magic
Benji [DEAD]: -2 Luck, -1 Mastery, *-2 Str
Elias [2/5]: -1 Dex, -2 Magic
Samara [DEAD]: -1 Fort, -1 Mastery, *-4 HP
Sophia [DEAD]
Lincoln [3/5]: -2 Str
Corvan [4/5]: -1 Mastery
Garrick [3/5]: -1 Mastery, *-1 Dex
Alden [4/5]: -1 Def

Warrior Nun and Witcher: Blood Origin

Girl power fantasy!

Warrior Nun

This two season show follows a girl (Alba Baptista) resurrected by a holy plot device who is then pressured to become the titular Warrior Nun to use her blessed powers and lead an order of murderous nuns into battle against the forces of hell.

While there are some nice and gory fight scenes the story and a noticeable amount of the acting is quite shaky, with multiple occurrences of forgetting simple logic and plot holes galore. As long as you set your bar low and expect the protagonist to be almost useless most of the time you might yet enjoy it.

Witcher: Blood Origin

"Diversity!" is the first word that comes to mind when trying to explain this four episode show that prequels the Witcher which explains the world before the conjunction.  

That magical world which only contained elves of all kinds (like, American Elves, Asian Elves, European Elves, Black Elves, Elves of various disabilities etc) and exactly one dwarf was not so magical. These elves are industrious city builders and field toilers that enjoyed political manipulation and warring among each other. No tree hugging Scoia'tael here!

It falls upon a small group of protagonists to try stop an evil empire (who have a severe soldier shortage) and their plans to leverage magical obelisks that can open gateways to other worlds. Props to them for acknowledging their short content to fit everything into four episodes and while it is a bit wierd and possibly lore breaking, its an OK ride with some nice singing. I always give extra points for music. :P

By no means does that make this mandatory viewing though, not even for Witcher fans.

House of the Rings of Dragon Power?

Two fantasy prequels that are currently season one.

House of the Dragon

Set a hundred years before Game of Thrones, this fantasy series tries to emulate the original as much as possible but instead of having many point of view characters to follow each episode there's only two or three. House Targaryen rules in a time of peace with the strength of their dragons but unfortunate circumstances (and ye olde refusing to just sit down, chat and air secrets to solve everything) just continuously happens that slowly pushes the kingdom to the brink of civil war.

I'm not kidding about slowly either, YEARS pass between episodes and it's a little strange that some characters age while others seem "timeless" but its an entertaining watch regardless with decent plot, acting and CGI. Definitely recommended and looking forward to season two.

Rings of Power

A prequel to the Hobbit, this tells the story of the time before the twenty great rings were forged - when dwarves didn't yet dig so deep, elves more easily gave into emotion, hobbits were more racially diverse and humans as a whole were dirty scum. While the CGI is gorgeous and the acting is ok it's the plot and pacing that lets down this production - not helped by the main character who seems capable of cheat-code worthy feats.

Despite not being as tightly woven as House of the Dragon it is still a nice spectacle to watch and also one I'm waiting for season two. Recommended to fantasy fans, but not necessarily Lord of the Rings fans who would take more issue with what transpires here.

Thea 2: Dark Hearts

[Part of the Cursed story line]

Before leaving Iceland, the team befriend the Shadow Folk who live on the edge of the island (no shortcuts here, just lots of talking over a long time) who then send one of their number, Sylvanas, to help them on their quest. As they sail back to the Slavyan isle they save the syrin Seayanna from a kraken and she too joins their crew and helps them defeat the trolls imprisoning the elder dwarf they found long ago.

Why wear clothes when you can wear shadows?

This dwarf is then taken to the patient researcher who is then able to decypher the tablet in the Red Ridge mine which gives the location of the quake causing threat, but also says to fix it they would need a magical heart assembled by a druid. With no leads on any druids, the team sails to the next island - the isle of darkness, home to striga, undead, vampires and... more followers of the light!?

Sylvanas is handy in convincing the darker beasties to simply let everyone pass while Seayanna uses her charm to convince female bandit captain Yanka to join the team, who then reveals that the Spirit Talker goblin tribe also resides here. Thanks to the goblin children in the party and a little assistance helping them build a catapult, they introduce the group to their leader: an orc necromancer who can construct the magical heart they need to save the world. Not only that, the necromancer and the entire tribe are coming to help too. Things are looking up!

Legends of Andor - The Star Shield?

[A board game session from The Legends of Andor]

Having saved the kingdom from the dragon the heroes are relaxing at the nearby tavern when the alarm sounds as a new threat rises to attack the castle! This time around they have three (out of four) magic artifacts that can activate once a day to assist them: Rose the tracker has the flute of willpower (all heroes on same space or adjacent gain d6 willpower). Juris the wizard has the horned eagle (aka "horny bird") that can be used like a regular eagle or help in any battle by reducing the number of dice an enemy gets to roll. Lastly, Joe the guardian has an hourglass that can retrieve 3 hours from the time track.

DL the warrior and Mom the archer round out the team and everyone mobilizes quickly against the sudden invasion. Since this expansion relies on lots of randomness, in addition to defending the castle the prince-now-king asks that lumber be brought in to fix the still damaged portcullis so Juris goes and does that, while picking up some shrooms to help buy witches brew and works out with the remaining elven bodybuilders in the forest because your strength determines which / how many logs you can carry. Can't believe they added grinding! 

All about the gains brah.

While he does that the remaining heroes are hard pressed pushing back the enemy army. Suddenly from high in the mountains their boss appears - a troll pushing a siege tower? This guy must be on steroids because he moves a space for every monster on the board, making him even faster than the dragon as he ends up beside the castle in two days (if it reaches castle insta-game-over)!

Now is a good time to mention that the siege engine also ran over some hapless researcher in the mountains looking for the legendary Star Shield, around the same time some evil dude starts looking for it too. Some random wolves also start appearing to try make a mess of things (easier for weak heroes to fight, and they all move on a randomly chosen hero hour). None of that matters though as Juris completes the log task while Mom, Rose, DL and Joe eliminate the siege tower who is nowhere near as tough as the dragon ending the game in victory... without ever seeing the titular Star Shield! LOL.

Tales of the Blight II: The Inquisitor

[Part of my Dragon Age: Inquisition play through. Spoilers ahead!]

Two years after the defeat of Corypheus, the Inquistor finds himself and his remaining comrades summoned by the Divine Victoria to an Exalted Council to determine the future of the Inquisition. While the Court of Orlais maneuvers to control them, the Nobles of Ferelden - nervous at having a free standing army at their doorstep, would prefer to see them disband entirely. Talks are disrupted when Qunari saboteurs are detected within the palace, and while Leliana deactivates all their hidden gaatlok explosives, the Inquisitor's team chases them through an elven magic mirror through the fade where they face both Qunari and ancient elf spirits.

Feeling he can help ease their suffering, Cole decides to remain with the spirits while the rest of the party reach the Qunari base of operations. Here, Iron Bull sides with his people and is killed by Cassandra while Sera deals with the Qunari pet dragon. This buys time for Inquisitor Trevelyan to pursue the Qunari leader through more mirrors, the anchor in his hand becoming more painful and powerful through each one - until he finally catches her - but she has already been turned to stone by Fen'Harel, the Dread Wolf of elven legend - better known to Trevelyan as Solas.

Solas reveals it was his orb Corypheus had been using, as he intended the magister to simply power it up and get killed in the following explosion. He didn't realize Corypheus had a way to cheat death at the time. With the orb destroyed he had to resort to killing Flemeth to take her power of Mythal instead, with the goal of freeing his people from the fade by removing the barrier to it altogether... and destroying the current world. With the power of the anchor now killing him, Trevelyan still vows to prove to Solas that this world is worth saving. The elf cuts off Trevelyan's arm (to save him) and departs - telling him to enjoy what time he has left.

Critical hit in the feels!

Back at the Exalted Council, the Qunari disavow all actions of the terrorist splinter group that caused the disturbance, promising their continued alliance to Divine Victoria. As for the Inquisition, it is disbanded effective immediately. This is both to retain balance in the realm and to hide their next move against Solas, who is all too familiar with their inner workings. In secret, Trevelyan, Cassandra and Leliana decide to find people Solas doesn't know about to help stop his world ending plot.

And Sera goes back to doing whatever.

Insight: I was getting wrecked when starting the Trespasser DLC, mainly because I didn't realize I wasn't wearing my armor. Duh! Check your gear before going into battle!

Tales of the Blight II: Leliana

[Part of my Dragon Age: Inquisition play through. Spoilers ahead!]

With the demon army neutralized, the only other plot we know Corypheus has up his sleeve is the assassination of Empress Celene. Thankfully the Inquisition has been regarded important enough to be invited to the peace talks at the Winter Palace in Halamshiral, and who better to send than the Inquisition spymaster herself?  

So, not just a pretty face...

I suspect it would need to be someone close to the Empress who wields a modicum of power. This immediately narrows the suspect list to three people. Her cousin, Gaspard de Chalons, who claims she stole the crown from him and began the civil war. Gaspard's sister, Florianne de Chalons, who acts as the host of these talks but is clearly hiding something. And the elven Ambassador Briala, who was once Celene's lover and is now the leader of an underground network of elves - eager to exploit the nobles to gain any foothold for their oppressed people.

Thank the Maker the answer to all this is simple. They are all guilty in one form or another, and with abundant evidence that can readily be found by those with a discerning eye, the Empress is convinced to execute all of them as traitors while becoming a firm supporter of the Inquisition for saving her life. Not only do we gain the backing of the Orlesian army, but also the talents of her court magician - someone I haven't seen for a very long time.

Insight: I quite liked this part of the game. You need to keep your court approval high but when you go missing to look for clues and evidence in restricted areas it continually drops making for some really fast decision making.

Tales of the Blight II: Sera

[Part of my Dragon Age: Inquisition play through. Spoilers ahead!]

Didn't think I'd like her, but she ended up being my favorite companion.

I told them I'm not an elfy elf but I get sent to the stupid forest anyway! Should have been Dorian who'd be all Tevinter about this ancient bullshit. Or Cassandra, but she's got a thing for the Inquisitor, busy with her thing and his thing... doing things.

Trees are stupid. Just like people fighting their other people about some other rubbish god as if Corypenis isn't bad enough. And what's with all the bloody spiders!? Ugh, water everywhere. Everything is dank and chafy. I need to find a place to pee. Well, this is rubbish. Let's do whatever and get out.

Shrines are bad. Who doesn't know that? Another nutter trying to become a god. Right, I can see why everyone fights over this. No I can't. You're smart, but you're sort of stupid. Stupid magic ruins everything. You're not even very good at it. Don't care. Stupid gets arrows. Hey! Look at this! I've got something for you! It's my butt! That's a surprise, innit arseholes? Arrows. Arrows come next.

Good riddance to bad rubbish. I even made a bear friend! Maybe I can teach it knitting. Knitting is brilliant! It's stabby sewing!

Insight: Frostback Basin is another DLC area, which means it will match your level when it loads up (minimum level 20). The dragon here is the hardest available in the game and has all the tricks too. Use cover when it flies, and frost resist potions are especially handy for his adds, who you need to clear out as soon as they show up.

Tales of the Blight II: Solas

[Part of my Dragon Age: Inquisition play through. Spoilers ahead!]

As wise as he is bald.

These forests have changed much since I was last here.

The Emerald Knights. They once patrolled the borders of the Dales, protecting the Elven people. The Dalish saw them as romantic heroes. The Chantry called them ruthless butchers. I suspect both sides have some element of truth. My people built a life here... it must have been something to see.

Now these woods and ruins hide deserters from civil war in Orlais, ones aligned with the Red Templars. Some are thoughtful soldiers doing what they believe is right. The rest? Younger sons, petty criminals, thugs, bullies, orphans. Either they are accustomed to a life without choices, to following even the worst orders... or they have learned to enjoy causing pain, to leap at any chance to swing a sword harder.

We have all seen terrible things. We have watched death and destruction render that which we love unrecognizable. I wonder if there is a single place in the Dales that does not know a human footstep. They must be driven away.

Insight: Since my graphics card hates displaying high quality fire, I made all my mages study a combination of ice and lightning.