Elden Ring: Could this be a friend? Therefore enemy

[Part of my Elden Ring journal]

It seems the Godskins are haunting me as I explore some towers I previously missed, which proves great practice as they fight individually in these instances and I can beat them. I also come across my buddy Blackguard deceased at the capital moat, and must fight his murderer - Dung Eater! I probably would have lost but a giant crab decided to help and kill the Dung which worked out nicely for me.

Speaking of deceased allies I also find Seluvis and Iji slain by the angry halfwolf Blaidd who I put down again in our rematch, and free hugs Fia is killed by hobo D while I deal with a lich dragon. As I opt not to slay the hobo, he returns all the equipment and wanders off to return to his hoboism. D's beast clergyman friend also goes berserk when I visit him again but he manages to calm down mid-fight, and I locate sorceress Sellen as a prisoner in another basement but am unable to set her free.

Bad dog!

With more level and upgraded weapons I return to face the Godskin Duo with Volcano Knight Bernahl and win! All focusing on one is the winning strategy. Afterwards, I have to fight and slay Bernahl because "there can be only one" I guess and then find the main boss of this floating place is the freaking beast clergyman!? Pillars help escape his robed form but when he dons his armor and hops around like a jumping jiggowat he becomes a real pain! Getting close and clubbing him to death is the only solution, and not as hard as I initially thought.

Elden Ring: Seek hole, and then edge

[Part of my Elden Ring journal]

Of course I hop into the coffin which turns out to be a magical lift (wut) that takes me to the roots of the giant tree and is home to giant flying ants and headless ghost knights. I also find free hug Fia here who makes me slay five other warriors including a mage friend of D and a fat armored fencer who helped me against Radahn! After I win she begs for death but since she's technically helping me remove the competition to become and Elden lord I spare her.

As that's a dead end I check in with Iji who drops a hint about where Ranni has gone to - a tower near her own. Inside I find a lift deep down into an ant hive where I find Ranni discarded among some garbage. I pick her up and defeat the traitorous half-wolf Blaidd then continue down past a "drow" city complete with BS sentient boulders then through a lake of rot (no horse this time - yuck!) past an ancient temple of bug men and defeat a horrid giant skull-faced dragonfly.

Beyond that is a lift to a plateau where I get a rematch against magic dragon Adula, killing it this time, and then finding a more appropriate doll for Ranni to inhabit. She is super greatful and recognizes me as her lord. I like the sound of that! Using this inspiration I return to the capital and defeat Volcano Manor targets Wilhelm and Vagran with the help of Volcano Knight Bernahl, and then crush King Morgott with Melina and my mimic!

She's a creepy doll.

Elden Ring: Why is it always monarch?

[Part of my Elden Ring journal]

Instead of chasing the falling star I return to Volcano Manor and get a new mark from Lady Tanith. As this one is up in the plateau I explore a bit, dodging hands and slaying evil tree spirits and a vampire in a cellar before Anastasia invades me again, and loses again. Heading towards the capital I also come across a windmill village of dancing ladies who are very violent when I slay their godskin apostle before dodging more siege weapons to get to the capital outskirts.

Here I get Tragoth and my headless ally to help in defeating the draconic tree sentinel knight guarding the gate bridge, finally allowing me passage into the capital itself, which happens to be a no-horse zone. Rooftop parkouring and sewer sprinting (from giant hands again) are the best way to avoid most of the heavily armored knights here, until I'm eventually jumped by the golden axe-wielding spirit of Godfrey, the first Elden lord! It takes me a few attempts to finally beat him, but the next boss King Morgott who is nearby proves to be way too challenging for now. His move set is really beautiful though, I wonder if they gave him some capoeira?

These horrid hands lie in wait everywhere!

After a short interlude back at the Roundtable hold to upgrade my stick I discover that Corhyn has left and that free hugs Fia murdered undead hunter D. I opt to retry the giant ant caves I skipped before and manage delve deep to the point of finding more barnacle men ruins, a giant moth thing which I can't hit, and a surprise dragonkin soldier boss hiding right at the back that I defeat. With no other paths (that don't involve a suicidal jump) forward, I decide to finally check the crater left by Radahn's fallen star and discover it leads right into the city of eternal night, Nokron!

Elden Ring: Why is it always undead? Therefore try undead

[Part of my Elden Ring journal]

Returning to the Roundtable Hold from that venture at Castle Morne, I discover it's not such a safe place after all having to defeat invaders Ensha and Alberich. Lucky there are helpful people too, like lady Fia who gives free hugs, Corhyn the priest, Roderika the rookie spirit-hewer (whom I recruited to come here actually), Hewg the enslaved blacksmith, and vampire hunter D undead hunter D, who tells me that to slay undead, you have to slay them. While they're dead. Translation: those respawning skels don't respawn if you smash their "corpses" before respawning.

I also buy a spirit calling bell which is amazing as I can now summon my own ghostly viking sniper who is super effective in helping me smash some undead including a cemetery shade and a boatman which D is particularly pleased with. He suggests I visit a beast cleric in a spot I hadn't reached yet, so off I go and find I need to double jump with my mount to get from plagueville into dragon land!? I obviously just run from the winged reptiles until I reach some trapped goblin ruins (the teleporting boulders are particularly funny) and meet with this cleric - but he just wants me to keep bringing him pieces of the dead to eat.

Ghost versus spirit!

Reverse scouting through the dragon territory lets me find a ruined fortress (beyond a GIANT dragon) that is now home to big bats and ghosts, neither of whom are very good defenders which lets me loot the place easily. I then warp back to the first fort I skipped and wipe it out too, as having a spirit helper really makes things go much smoother.