Lumbearjack and CYGNI - All Guns Blazing

Games about wrecking!

Lumbearjack

In this cutesy game you control an anthropomorphic bear who happens to be an eco-conscious lumberjack and is called to action to stop the polluting influence of a human company which is "EVIL" (literally, that's the name). Nothing can kill you and the loop is pretty simple - save this areas local critter and open the path forward by hacking at any EVIL thing: like trash, cars, construction vehicles, factories and fast food joints. Destroying bigger things needs a bigger axe which you can make by recycling the junk you get from cutting. It's annoying that you keep having to craft the bigger axes but its simple and quick enough to do. You get to slap people too so that they change their ways. All up its a frivolous and funny game that encourages eco-terrorism. Not sure if recommended. :P

CYGNI - All Guns Blazing

This scrolling top down shooter is absolutely beautiful once you get past the very basic but very informative tutorial which I highly recommend since knowing how to lock on and fire rockets, recharge weapons and shields and toggling from shooting air targets and land targets is essential. Good luck remembering any of it though as you are then put into the bullet hell of the main game that features regular gigantic bosses and just too many things moving on the screen to intentionally mess you up. Yes, this game wrecks you! Only recommended for bullet hell experts as novices will be dying frequently even on easy mode.

Sky Force Reloaded

 Expect to die a lot again!

This vertically scrolling (bullet hell in later levels) shooter tasks players with earning medals by doing various things during missions: rescuing everyone, not taking damage, killing a % of enemy etc. Earning enough medals unlocks harder modes of the same mission and unlocks later levels too which might require you to have earned x number of medals.

While it's addictive, the upgrades to your craft which become mandatory for some of those medals, quickly becomes a grind and an incentive to use the cash shop. Since I've played this on an ipad where pressing your finger moves your plane around, there is a nice feature included that helps with reaction time: lift your finger and everything goes into slow mo. Sure you can't move, but it gives you precious time to think of where the next opening would be.

In contrast to Rogue Legacy this game lets you keep all the currency you earned, and even better - often offers to double it on a failed run! This alone makes it a million times better than that Rogue Legacy garbage. Unfortunately the levels get repetitive here too so that decreases its longevity somewhat.

Fighting Hell: Supernatural Textorcist

Demon fighting media aimed at specific people.

Supernatural

Saving people, hunting things.

This fifteen season show follows a pair of brothers, Sam (Jared Padalecki) and Dean (Jensen Ackles) Winchester face all sorts of supernatural horrors and drama yet at the same time can make fun of itself in full comedic episodes and get away with stuff no other show can. They even managed to do an animated crossover with Scooby Doo!

They've pretty much fought everything by the end of the series...

As expected from a long running series the quality does fluctuate a bit but it was still a mainstay for our watch list simply because it's entertaining. Worth watching for sure, I give it three Impala's out of five.

The Textorcist

A bullet hell typing test.

With evil spreading across the world, it is up to you and your handy bible to exorcise the demons to oblivion! This very cool idea becomes very hard really quickly especially later where you need to type Latin, and then the text is reversed or obfuscated.

Type (in Latin) and dodge is around the part I gave up.

Not really one I'd recommend though, as the game play for the two genres clash a bit. I give it two bibles out of five.

Insight: You only take damage if you aren't holding the book, so it's possible to let yourself get hit and have enough time to recover before the next salvo.

Nuclear Throne

Welcome to bullet hell.

Are you good at keeping track of many moving pixels on the screen? If so, you might be able to take your chosen mutant all the way to the Nuclear Throne! If not, this is going to be a great experience in pain! While the graphics are as simple as the objective of killing everything on each randomly generated map, doing so is no easy task given the number of enemies that spawn, and the number of bullets they shoot.

A fish with a gun!

The replayability factor comes in the form of playable characters, most of whom are unlocked as you advance, each bringing their own special power (and sometimes weakness) to the game. As you level up, these characters get extra mutations to help improve them. Alas dying loses everything, including any progress to the throne which means you must get there without a single death. Yep, this is a rogue-like!

Unfortunately this one is not for me, but if you are a fan of said genre you may want to check it out.

Insight: "Fish can roll." LOL. It's actually pretty useful in that it's a decent speed boost to evade bullets or melee opponents.

Descent into the Dark Valley

My journal through Stalker Soup - a mega mod for Shadows of Chernobyl! You can follow the rest of the story here!

I noticed on the map a new way to reach my destination - something called the Forgotten Forest. I only got to its outer zone when I was beset by packs of dogs, a pair of snorks, blood suckers and zombies that get up after you "kill" them. Did a good job pushing me outta there and rethinking my route. With exo armor at less than 50% I hoofed it back to the Duty outpost and used the Northern path instead which, while being more radiated, was a whole lot easier to traverse.

Upon entering the Dark Valley I met up with "Bullet" who had just taken down a small group of bandits (I had to put one out of his misery though), and he asked me to help him free his fellow guild members from the bandit controlled buildings in the northern section. Turns out their leader holds a key I need to get into my main target = laboratory x18. After helping Bullet save one guy being transported it was up to me to infiltrate the base and rescue "Shaggy" and his team.

Of course I was attacked by a bunch of bloodsuckers en route but the first part of their compound was surprisingly lightly guarded by only 1 dude. I imagine the bloodsuckers did take a few of them out though since I found their bodies. The next few sets of bandits were asleep so I took the liberty of point blank shotgunning them to the face, Just as they deserved. This of course alerted the numerous remaining scum but they were no match for me. Alas I found Shaggy in the dungeon - dead. He was either executed or it was suicide, regardless I got the key from the bandit boss and made sure all hostiles were dead before leaving the compound.

I was surprised to find Mole and Bes camped outside, and completed a few tasks for them while I was there which earned me a nice Tommy-gun from Mole which would come in very handy in the next place I was going to visit. The laboratory had a few more bandits lurking outside (one with an RPG - yikes), but the true horrors were within the heavy sealed door.

 

Burers are a lot more dangerous now, but still just as ugly.

The entry was crawling with izolms along with a few snorks. Also killed me a few burers and a number of very annoying poltergeists further in while trying to find codes to open two locked doors, behind one of which was another pseudogiant. I eventually find the files I was after, but that nice tommy gun was totally dry of ammo and my exo-skeleton armor was pretty much falling to pieces.