Learning to be teachers.
Kung Fu Panda 3
Having saved the village numerous times now, the "dragon warrior" Po (a talking panda voiced by Jack Black) is tasked with stepping up to be the new teacher as his own one is retiring while also reconnecting with his biological dad which puts his adoptive father on edge. Naturally things go terribly at first but urged on by an impending doom track yak, a mighty undead warrior from the ghost realm, Po has to get everything lined up perfectly just in time to save the day... by simply being himself! It's a good message for the younger audience wrapped up in a fun animated adventure, but plot wise there's no real threat to Po or his friends here which is a shame as I do enjoy protagonists learning through consequences. Still a decent watch.
Testament: The Story of Moses
As you might expect, this three episode mini-documentary-series focuses on the life of Moses from escaping death as an infant to bringing lots of death to the Egyptians while saving the slaves. Alas Moses himself is mostly a grumpy, non-interesting character (which is ironic as this is his story) but maybe that's what they were going for? In contrast Pharaoh exudes in screen charisma and is great. While the dramatization certainly has some budget behind it, I'm not sure how much value is added by the "expert" segments of actual theologians talking about him seeded at various points in the plot which couldn't have been better done with just some book-end like text. As such the episodes are quite lengthy and if you should attempt watching it I'd advise at least bumping it up to 1.25x speed.
Showing posts with label Panda. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Panda. Show all posts
Wednesday, 3 April 2024
Kung Fu Panda 3 and Testament: The Story of Moses
Tuesday, 12 April 2016
Thea: The Leech Lord
[Part of the Darklands of Arkania Story.]
To hunt the Leech Lord, Cooper Team first returns to the Memorial Ground to gear up and get reinforcements in the form of Korima, Moxie Pally, Tacktix TLC and recent newcomer Izlain Backwood. Learning from last time, the rest of the villagers stay put while the chase commences, and a short chase it is too. Now is a good time to mention that due to my absolute dislike of the "card challenge system" this game has which happens whenever you fight, explore, converse and the like I've been simply Auto-Resolving every encounter up until now.
Realizing that the game is probably weighted against the player, this turns out to be my first actively participated "card battle". For a first timer it goes rather well I think, and while Cooper Team all take injuries, they are ultimately victorious - restoring some power to the Night God Horos, who for some reason rewards people at the village (Curian, Rhino and Harika) with leech (life drain) abilities. Horos also commands a newly formed striga mistress to join Cooper Team: Striga Syl (who was actually the first casualty of this tale)!
It is not all good news however, as during the night Mama Cori, Vayshen Panda and Cooper Mantly succumb to their wounds and die.
To hunt the Leech Lord, Cooper Team first returns to the Memorial Ground to gear up and get reinforcements in the form of Korima, Moxie Pally, Tacktix TLC and recent newcomer Izlain Backwood. Learning from last time, the rest of the villagers stay put while the chase commences, and a short chase it is too. Now is a good time to mention that due to my absolute dislike of the "card challenge system" this game has which happens whenever you fight, explore, converse and the like I've been simply Auto-Resolving every encounter up until now.
Realizing that the game is probably weighted against the player, this turns out to be my first actively participated "card battle". For a first timer it goes rather well I think, and while Cooper Team all take injuries, they are ultimately victorious - restoring some power to the Night God Horos, who for some reason rewards people at the village (Curian, Rhino and Harika) with leech (life drain) abilities. Horos also commands a newly formed striga mistress to join Cooper Team: Striga Syl (who was actually the first casualty of this tale)!
It is not all good news however, as during the night Mama Cori, Vayshen Panda and Cooper Mantly succumb to their wounds and die.
Saving throw = failed.
Sunday, 3 April 2016
Thea: Rookie Mistake
[Part of the Darklands of Arkania Story.]
The confrontation with the Leech Lord does not go well, for he doesn't travel alone. Indeed, he has a whole entourage of strigas with him - and just one of those gave Geralt of Rivia a lot of problems. While Cooper Team is defeated, they all manage to escape while the Leech Lord and his monsters feed on the random caravan folk they were attacking at the time. Thinking logically, Cooper decides to rally everyone from Hermit's Lake to face this foe, but this turns out to be a rookie mistake.
Having zero people in the village ends the game, a small fact the douche bag Theodore forgot to mention in his tutorial. To this end I can only assume the Leech Lord circled around and destroyed the settlement while everyone was out hunting him. Regardless, the survivors are forced to move on and begin a new settlement at a bone yard with rich soil which they name the Memorial Ground (yep, that's me restarting). The place is clearly haunted but fortunately there's a resident Lapiduch (spirit catcher frog demon) around.
The task of building this settlement falls to Thorgrim, Curian, Cateaclysmic and Korima while Cooper Mantly reforms his expedition crew of Harika, Vayshen Panda, Talarian Design, Missy Sparks, and Mama Cori. One of the children also grows up to be a warrioress - Moxie Pally. Alas, during the move it seems Pineconette and Spiral Star were separated from the rest of the villagers and are now listed as missing in action.
The confrontation with the Leech Lord does not go well, for he doesn't travel alone. Indeed, he has a whole entourage of strigas with him - and just one of those gave Geralt of Rivia a lot of problems. While Cooper Team is defeated, they all manage to escape while the Leech Lord and his monsters feed on the random caravan folk they were attacking at the time. Thinking logically, Cooper decides to rally everyone from Hermit's Lake to face this foe, but this turns out to be a rookie mistake.
Having zero people in the village ends the game, a small fact the douche bag Theodore forgot to mention in his tutorial. To this end I can only assume the Leech Lord circled around and destroyed the settlement while everyone was out hunting him. Regardless, the survivors are forced to move on and begin a new settlement at a bone yard with rich soil which they name the Memorial Ground (yep, that's me restarting). The place is clearly haunted but fortunately there's a resident Lapiduch (spirit catcher frog demon) around.
Soul Eater!
The task of building this settlement falls to Thorgrim, Curian, Cateaclysmic and Korima while Cooper Mantly reforms his expedition crew of Harika, Vayshen Panda, Talarian Design, Missy Sparks, and Mama Cori. One of the children also grows up to be a warrioress - Moxie Pally. Alas, during the move it seems Pineconette and Spiral Star were separated from the rest of the villagers and are now listed as missing in action.
Friday, 1 April 2016
Thea: The Vision of Horos
[Part of the Darklands of Arkania Story.]
After recovering at the village and successfully defending it against a giant spider attack, Cooper Mantly reassembles his team - now composed of Curian, Missy Sparks, Pineconette (the pine cone demon), and Vayshen Panda. Vayshen claims he had a vision of Horos, the Lord of Night and Master of the Moon, guide him to some ruins in a dream. They retrace the steps in real, with a slight detour to assassinate a camp of abominations, before finding themselves at a Grand University.
The undead intellectuals within admit to destroying the Cosmic tree with aid of magic from the Dark One, and tell of how Horos was weakened enough to be tricked by the Leech Lord. In exchange for this information they ask to be freed from their cursed prison, a request that is denied. Criminals are criminals forever and must be punished as such.
Back at the village, something has happened with the wells and everyone is poisoned! I can only assume it's those nasty orcs from before. There are only two options available: try track down a water spirit who might cure them or find herbs which probably will save a few, but not all of the townsfolk. "We all make it or none of us do!" exclaimed Talarian, as he chose the former.
After recovering at the village and successfully defending it against a giant spider attack, Cooper Mantly reassembles his team - now composed of Curian, Missy Sparks, Pineconette (the pine cone demon), and Vayshen Panda. Vayshen claims he had a vision of Horos, the Lord of Night and Master of the Moon, guide him to some ruins in a dream. They retrace the steps in real, with a slight detour to assassinate a camp of abominations, before finding themselves at a Grand University.
Pretty beefy for a goblin.
The undead intellectuals within admit to destroying the Cosmic tree with aid of magic from the Dark One, and tell of how Horos was weakened enough to be tricked by the Leech Lord. In exchange for this information they ask to be freed from their cursed prison, a request that is denied. Criminals are criminals forever and must be punished as such.
Back at the village, something has happened with the wells and everyone is poisoned! I can only assume it's those nasty orcs from before. There are only two options available: try track down a water spirit who might cure them or find herbs which probably will save a few, but not all of the townsfolk. "We all make it or none of us do!" exclaimed Talarian, as he chose the former.
Tuesday, 29 March 2016
Thea: Magic Compass
[Part of the Darklands of Arkania Story.]
While on patrol, Cooper Team runs into a Bugay - another form of tree demon. This one is walking around happily eating people so there's no recourse but to kill the damn thing.
One of the Bugay's allies, a Pine Cone demon claims innocence after the combat and purely because of how the Wolf Pack was saved from the Leshy by one, Cooper decides to spare the creature and it joins his party as "Pineconette". I guess it's a girl? Soon after, Cooper Team meets up with the Wolf Pack who give them the cosmic shards to take to Alisyr. The plan is for the smaller force of Cooper team to make the run while the Wolf Pack covers them from the multiple abomination army lairs that seem to be springing up.
On the way Cooper Team finds a force field protected tree and attempt to break the spell but fail, earning instead a curse upon Cooper and Atheren. Regardless, they make it to Alisyr who constructs a magic compass from the shards which then point to the next location: the cosmic seed. Alysir is still too weak to actually help out, so it's up to Cooper Team and the Wolf Pack, who are having a successful run of assassinating undead abominations, to go check it out.
Back at Hermit's Lake, a crazy religious nut joins the village: Vayshen Panda.
While on patrol, Cooper Team runs into a Bugay - another form of tree demon. This one is walking around happily eating people so there's no recourse but to kill the damn thing.
So either we kill it, or we kill it. Good choice options there game!
One of the Bugay's allies, a Pine Cone demon claims innocence after the combat and purely because of how the Wolf Pack was saved from the Leshy by one, Cooper decides to spare the creature and it joins his party as "Pineconette". I guess it's a girl? Soon after, Cooper Team meets up with the Wolf Pack who give them the cosmic shards to take to Alisyr. The plan is for the smaller force of Cooper team to make the run while the Wolf Pack covers them from the multiple abomination army lairs that seem to be springing up.
On the way Cooper Team finds a force field protected tree and attempt to break the spell but fail, earning instead a curse upon Cooper and Atheren. Regardless, they make it to Alisyr who constructs a magic compass from the shards which then point to the next location: the cosmic seed. Alysir is still too weak to actually help out, so it's up to Cooper Team and the Wolf Pack, who are having a successful run of assassinating undead abominations, to go check it out.
Back at Hermit's Lake, a crazy religious nut joins the village: Vayshen Panda.
Sunday, 14 February 2016
Star Trail: The Dragon
[Part of the Darklands of Arkania Story.]
Arkandor is not just a tough bastard, but a real bastard. Not only does he have a huge well of HP but he has a wide array of attacks, breath types and magic spells that plays havoc with the team. It also eats Allison's strongest spell - literally catching the blast with his mouth and chewing, receiving minimal damage (fully animated)! Still, each party member manages to reach the dragon and begin hacking away at the beast. Not surprisingly Cooper (who is still frothing at the mouth) is the first to go down after inhaling a large dose of poison breath.
Dalian gets knocked out a few rounds later from a tail swipe before Arkandor casts a spell that breaks Wolfy and Shintar's secondary weapons (the primary weapons having broken already on their own). It follows this up by charming both Braxwolf AND Allison to fight on his side, so not only do Wolfy and Shintar now have to punch the dragon - they have to do it while avoiding attacks from their own allies.
Fortunately with some clever maneuvering Braxwolf and Allison end up fighting each other in a stale mate: Braxwolf can't hit the nimble elf and Allison can't hurt the heavily armored knight with her staff. This leaves the two veterans to freely continue pummeling the dragon with their fists, until Arkandor decides to pick up Shintar and devour her. Good animation with this one too - complete with spitting bones out afterwards.
Finally, having used up all the tricks in the book, Wolfy lands a final uppercut that makes the dragon concede the fight.
BBQ Breath!
Arkandor is not just a tough bastard, but a real bastard. Not only does he have a huge well of HP but he has a wide array of attacks, breath types and magic spells that plays havoc with the team. It also eats Allison's strongest spell - literally catching the blast with his mouth and chewing, receiving minimal damage (fully animated)! Still, each party member manages to reach the dragon and begin hacking away at the beast. Not surprisingly Cooper (who is still frothing at the mouth) is the first to go down after inhaling a large dose of poison breath.
Dalian gets knocked out a few rounds later from a tail swipe before Arkandor casts a spell that breaks Wolfy and Shintar's secondary weapons (the primary weapons having broken already on their own). It follows this up by charming both Braxwolf AND Allison to fight on his side, so not only do Wolfy and Shintar now have to punch the dragon - they have to do it while avoiding attacks from their own allies.
Fortunately with some clever maneuvering Braxwolf and Allison end up fighting each other in a stale mate: Braxwolf can't hit the nimble elf and Allison can't hurt the heavily armored knight with her staff. This leaves the two veterans to freely continue pummeling the dragon with their fists, until Arkandor decides to pick up Shintar and devour her. Good animation with this one too - complete with spitting bones out afterwards.
Finally, having used up all the tricks in the book, Wolfy lands a final uppercut that makes the dragon concede the fight.
Except for the one I ate! She was tasty!
Saturday, 6 February 2016
Star Trail: The Pursuers
[Part of the Darklands of Arkania Story.]
With a low number of rations and mostly beer for drinking the prospects of the party making it back to civilization from the cave they crawled out of was not good. The first few orc patrols that chased them were manageable, but soon another adventuring party was again tailing them - no doubt after the stone. I can only imagine the bastard vampire tipped them off.
Without proper equipment, winning a combat against them was out of the question so the team had no choice but to flee - hightailing it deep into the woods in hopes of losing them. This bought some time but also led the team right into a pack of hungry wolves.
Again the lack of equipment was telling and ultimately Zubon became an unwilling sacrifice, trapped by the pack to be devoured while the rest of the team fled further into the forest. During the trek Thalen catches the numb skull disease and Cooper begins showing effects from frostbite which forces the team to move slower, which leads to another encounter with the same adventuring party from before. Again the team flees but this time Paeroka doesn't make it far enough before one of their mages turns her into a statue to forever decorate the side of that forgotten path.
Opting to use the main road now for speed the party rushes North to the nearest settlement but again are caught by the adventuring party. Thalen takes an arrow to the back during the escape and while he does get away, his illness ultimately kills him in his weakened state during the next rest stop. Finally Cooper, Wolfy and Shintar make it to the small town of Tiefhusen, which seems to have been conquered by orcs.
These orcs are in the assimilation phase of their conquest here though, and are not hostile to the residents or the party - as long as they stay in line. Their presence also seems to deter the pursuers which is great, and gives time for the three survivors to breathe.
With a low number of rations and mostly beer for drinking the prospects of the party making it back to civilization from the cave they crawled out of was not good. The first few orc patrols that chased them were manageable, but soon another adventuring party was again tailing them - no doubt after the stone. I can only imagine the bastard vampire tipped them off.
Without proper equipment, winning a combat against them was out of the question so the team had no choice but to flee - hightailing it deep into the woods in hopes of losing them. This bought some time but also led the team right into a pack of hungry wolves.
Very hungry wolves!
Again the lack of equipment was telling and ultimately Zubon became an unwilling sacrifice, trapped by the pack to be devoured while the rest of the team fled further into the forest. During the trek Thalen catches the numb skull disease and Cooper begins showing effects from frostbite which forces the team to move slower, which leads to another encounter with the same adventuring party from before. Again the team flees but this time Paeroka doesn't make it far enough before one of their mages turns her into a statue to forever decorate the side of that forgotten path.
She started a trend?
Opting to use the main road now for speed the party rushes North to the nearest settlement but again are caught by the adventuring party. Thalen takes an arrow to the back during the escape and while he does get away, his illness ultimately kills him in his weakened state during the next rest stop. Finally Cooper, Wolfy and Shintar make it to the small town of Tiefhusen, which seems to have been conquered by orcs.
These orcs are in the assimilation phase of their conquest here though, and are not hostile to the residents or the party - as long as they stay in line. Their presence also seems to deter the pursuers which is great, and gives time for the three survivors to breathe.
Tuesday, 19 January 2016
Star Trail: Black Pelts
[Part of the Darklands of Arkania Story.]
In a surprising turn of events the Gashokian townsfolk bust into the inn the party is staying at and dragging them out into the town square, strip them naked and prepare to stone them to death for murdering one of their citizens. Fortunately a random person in the crowd (I'll say it's ex-party member Vayshen Panda because it makes more sense) discovers proof that the victim was actually a bad guy so the team is released but told to get out of town.
At least Atherion is more grateful, giving his magical bow and sword as reward for their actions. With that quest done the team continues South along the road coming across a wide river with an unmanned ferry. Since it was the obvious way across, they all boarded and set sail but soon discovered none of them actually knew how to steer a boat.
Now totally dependent on Pike's foraging skills for food the team hurries to the next city and come across a rogue on the road, eating a sausage. He offers to join the party and since they are one man down they accept without question.
He's right about the "blackpelts" though: aka in these parts as orcs. The next city of Lowangen is under siege by a massive orc army so the team decides to head elsewhere.
In a surprising turn of events the Gashokian townsfolk bust into the inn the party is staying at and dragging them out into the town square, strip them naked and prepare to stone them to death for murdering one of their citizens. Fortunately a random person in the crowd (I'll say it's ex-party member Vayshen Panda because it makes more sense) discovers proof that the victim was actually a bad guy so the team is released but told to get out of town.
At least Atherion is more grateful, giving his magical bow and sword as reward for their actions. With that quest done the team continues South along the road coming across a wide river with an unmanned ferry. Since it was the obvious way across, they all boarded and set sail but soon discovered none of them actually knew how to steer a boat.
Sailing skill: zero.
Now totally dependent on Pike's foraging skills for food the team hurries to the next city and come across a rogue on the road, eating a sausage. He offers to join the party and since they are one man down they accept without question.
Antharon the sausage eater.
He's right about the "blackpelts" though: aka in these parts as orcs. The next city of Lowangen is under siege by a massive orc army so the team decides to head elsewhere.
Monday, 18 January 2016
Star Trail: Revenge isn't Murder
[Part of the Darklands of Arkania Story.]
While investigating the town, a Praios preacher approaches the team and manages to convert Vayshen Panda who immediately quits the adventuring life and leaves the party in one of the most WTF moments ever.
They also discovered a burned down mill in town that once belonged to an elf named Atherion. Apparently he was chased out of town by the Order who were unsuccessful in killing him. He has since been hiding out in the nearby forest and is pretty easily found after sidestepping an angry bear.
Atherion wants revenge on the Order's mastermind and since that lines up with Pike's revenge plan for getting shot earlier on, the team return to Gashok and discover that the Order only started up in force with recent arrivals. It takes a bit of questioning and sleuthing to work out which of the three men is the actual leader and eventually they narrow it down to a single name, then they did what adventurers do best.
They bust into his home and murder him.
While investigating the town, a Praios preacher approaches the team and manages to convert Vayshen Panda who immediately quits the adventuring life and leaves the party in one of the most WTF moments ever.
Converted!
They also discovered a burned down mill in town that once belonged to an elf named Atherion. Apparently he was chased out of town by the Order who were unsuccessful in killing him. He has since been hiding out in the nearby forest and is pretty easily found after sidestepping an angry bear.
I'm a bear!
Atherion wants revenge on the Order's mastermind and since that lines up with Pike's revenge plan for getting shot earlier on, the team return to Gashok and discover that the Order only started up in force with recent arrivals. It takes a bit of questioning and sleuthing to work out which of the three men is the actual leader and eventually they narrow it down to a single name, then they did what adventurers do best.
They bust into his home and murder him.
Sunday, 17 January 2016
Star Trail: The Order of Anathema
[Part of the Darklands of Arkania Story.]
It's not long before the team encounters an orc scouting party and makes short work of them. Same goes for a random, towering forest gnome that decided to attack during the night. In this game you can skip the "tactical combat" screen entirely and just watch a small "fighting" animation which really speeds things up!
There are also other random elves spotted at the tree line but they seem very guarded so the party just walks by peacefully and into the next town of Gashok.
Almost as soon as they enter the town a bolt flies from one of the shadows and injures Pike greatly. Fortunately it's nothing a few nights at the inn can't fix but it becomes abundantly clear that non-humans aren't welcome here. This mentality is being pushed forward by the hard core cultists of Praios (the "true " god). Zubon even happens to catch a glimpse of their stupid outfits while patrolling the streets one night.
It's not long before the team encounters an orc scouting party and makes short work of them. Same goes for a random, towering forest gnome that decided to attack during the night. In this game you can skip the "tactical combat" screen entirely and just watch a small "fighting" animation which really speeds things up!
Everything is an orc with a sword.
Just keep on walking...
Almost as soon as they enter the town a bolt flies from one of the shadows and injures Pike greatly. Fortunately it's nothing a few nights at the inn can't fix but it becomes abundantly clear that non-humans aren't welcome here. This mentality is being pushed forward by the hard core cultists of Praios (the "true " god). Zubon even happens to catch a glimpse of their stupid outfits while patrolling the streets one night.
Oh good, radicalized religious nutters.
Saturday, 16 January 2016
Star Trail: It's an Axe
[Part of the Darklands of Arkania Story.]
Staggering out of the bar the team begins their quest, but quickly find that Zubon and Wolfy have inexplicably lost their pants. The local townsfolk react accordingly.
Fortunately the market is currently in town so after buying new leggings for the two as well as other adventuring supplies which Paeroka successfully haggles down the price for, the team decides to nap at a local inn before heading off. There, a strange burglar breaks into their room but instead of stealing anything he requests the group to recover the magical throwing axe named Star Trail and return it to the temple of Phex, from where it was stolen. It's quite ironic that the god of thieves keeps getting stuff stolen from him.
With two quests to do now it's finally time to leave the city, following the main road South. They don't get very far before running into a warrior who had also been looking for Star Trail, but had grown disillusioned with the quest. While he doesn't really give any hints as to its location he does mention that some lizards have been turning towns of elves into orcs? Not sure what's up with that.
Staggering out of the bar the team begins their quest, but quickly find that Zubon and Wolfy have inexplicably lost their pants. The local townsfolk react accordingly.
How the pants disappeared remains a mystery!
Fortunately the market is currently in town so after buying new leggings for the two as well as other adventuring supplies which Paeroka successfully haggles down the price for, the team decides to nap at a local inn before heading off. There, a strange burglar breaks into their room but instead of stealing anything he requests the group to recover the magical throwing axe named Star Trail and return it to the temple of Phex, from where it was stolen. It's quite ironic that the god of thieves keeps getting stuff stolen from him.
With two quests to do now it's finally time to leave the city, following the main road South. They don't get very far before running into a warrior who had also been looking for Star Trail, but had grown disillusioned with the quest. While he doesn't really give any hints as to its location he does mention that some lizards have been turning towns of elves into orcs? Not sure what's up with that.
Greed, the ultimate adventure hook. :P
Thursday, 14 January 2016
Star Trail: Summoned by Elsurion
[Part of the Darklands of Arkania Story.]
With our heroes celebrating their victory by drinking themselves into daily drunken stupors, the one eyed thief Harika took advantage of their trust and left - taking at least two thirds of their combined wealth with her! There was no time to pursue her though as a messenger arrived for them, requesting their immediate presence at the distant city of Kvirasim in the Northern inland. The orc horde that was turned from Thorwal was now marching in that direction.
After days of travel they finally reached the city where they met the elf Elsurion Starlight at a local tavern. Elsurion's plan was to unite the forces of dwarves, men and elves against the orc invaders and to do this, he would need the Salamander Stone - an ancient artifact that once symbolized the union of the races but has since been lost in the Dwarven Pit. The team was tasked with recovering the stone and delivering it to a dwarf leader named Ingramosh. To assist in this, Elsurion assigned his trusted henchman Pike the Hare to guide the heroes before he himself left to do other duties.
As soon as Elsurion was out the door a random bystander immediately made a counter offer of 1000 Ducats for the stone to be delivered to a lady at Lowangen instead. The team, now composed of Paeroka Bookah, Zubon Ratkiller, Vayshen Panda, Wolfy Eyes, Shintar Winter and Pike the Hare, mulled over their choices the only way they knew how: By getting absolutely drunk.
With our heroes celebrating their victory by drinking themselves into daily drunken stupors, the one eyed thief Harika took advantage of their trust and left - taking at least two thirds of their combined wealth with her! There was no time to pursue her though as a messenger arrived for them, requesting their immediate presence at the distant city of Kvirasim in the Northern inland. The orc horde that was turned from Thorwal was now marching in that direction.
After days of travel they finally reached the city where they met the elf Elsurion Starlight at a local tavern. Elsurion's plan was to unite the forces of dwarves, men and elves against the orc invaders and to do this, he would need the Salamander Stone - an ancient artifact that once symbolized the union of the races but has since been lost in the Dwarven Pit. The team was tasked with recovering the stone and delivering it to a dwarf leader named Ingramosh. To assist in this, Elsurion assigned his trusted henchman Pike the Hare to guide the heroes before he himself left to do other duties.
As soon as Elsurion was out the door a random bystander immediately made a counter offer of 1000 Ducats for the stone to be delivered to a lady at Lowangen instead. The team, now composed of Paeroka Bookah, Zubon Ratkiller, Vayshen Panda, Wolfy Eyes, Shintar Winter and Pike the Hare, mulled over their choices the only way they knew how: By getting absolutely drunk.
Not shady at all.
Monday, 11 January 2016
Arkania: Two Years Later
[Part of the Darklands of Arkania Story.]
Out of nowhere the giant orc army appears before the party, and Shintar gets to use the speech she had been practicing for two years to challenge the orc champion out to a duel. Orcs are stupid you see - if the champion dies the rest of them scatter to the wind. Her speech works and Lord Garzlokh takes to the field to fight her.
Not willing to just be spectators Vayshen and Wolfy make use of the distraction to charge the spectating orcs and get some early hits in, turning the "duel" into an all out battle. Seeing the opportunity to use her new spell "Terror Broom", Voo casts her spell at the orc champion but rolls a critical failure, igniting herself in immolating flames and screaming until nothing is left of her but ash.
At the "duel" itself, Shintar wielding the magic sword Grimring is actually losing! It requires a quick change of strategy so that the champion is getting pounced on not just by her, but by Zubon, Wolfy, and Paeroka who eventually does him in with her axe. Harika and Vayshen desperately hold off the rest of the swarm where Harika's dodging skills are super effective. Things aren't going so well for Vayshen though as not only does his sword break but so does his hand.
The two are saved quickly after the orc champion falls though, through the same use of focused attacks. Victory is theirs! The orcs flee back to their lands, and the team is welcomed as heroes back at Thorwal where they hand over the magic sword to the Hetman who pays them a measly 50 ducats for their trouble. They then listen to the jazz musical stylings of Elise Einarsdotter at the local tavern while drinking more ale and wondering how best to spend their new found wealth and fame.
Out of nowhere the giant orc army appears before the party, and Shintar gets to use the speech she had been practicing for two years to challenge the orc champion out to a duel. Orcs are stupid you see - if the champion dies the rest of them scatter to the wind. Her speech works and Lord Garzlokh takes to the field to fight her.
The showdown begins!
Not willing to just be spectators Vayshen and Wolfy make use of the distraction to charge the spectating orcs and get some early hits in, turning the "duel" into an all out battle. Seeing the opportunity to use her new spell "Terror Broom", Voo casts her spell at the orc champion but rolls a critical failure, igniting herself in immolating flames and screaming until nothing is left of her but ash.
At the "duel" itself, Shintar wielding the magic sword Grimring is actually losing! It requires a quick change of strategy so that the champion is getting pounced on not just by her, but by Zubon, Wolfy, and Paeroka who eventually does him in with her axe. Harika and Vayshen desperately hold off the rest of the swarm where Harika's dodging skills are super effective. Things aren't going so well for Vayshen though as not only does his sword break but so does his hand.
Can still do one point of damage with it!
Orc Champion: P0wn3d!
Sunday, 10 January 2016
Arkania: Not the Sharpest
[Part of the Darklands of Arkania Story.]
It was long trek back to Thorwal to get the orc document decoded by new team member Lisa Voo, witch extraordinaire. The scroll was a battle plan complete with location and the date of the invasion... in the year 17. The current year is 15! That certainly gives plenty of time to prepare! Alas, the Hetman wasn't even interested in this information insisting it was the adventurer's quest to get it done. He had better things to do like drink beer.
The new members also proved slightly lacking, while Lisa Voo wins the best herb picker of all time award, every single combat spell she has is a dud and her broom weapon (which classifies as an edged blade for some reason) is pretty underwhelming. The thief Harika also makes a fool of herself trying to perform acrobatics at a local tavern and soon after getting robbed by another thief!
Only the Temple of Travia seems to take their mission seriously, and miraculously giving them some divine food from the heavens before they set off for the location on the orc document. The increasing orc patrols are of no issue to the team, so they reach the plains and setup camp. Here, inspired by Dragonball Z I imagine they simply train for the battle to come.
It was long trek back to Thorwal to get the orc document decoded by new team member Lisa Voo, witch extraordinaire. The scroll was a battle plan complete with location and the date of the invasion... in the year 17. The current year is 15! That certainly gives plenty of time to prepare! Alas, the Hetman wasn't even interested in this information insisting it was the adventurer's quest to get it done. He had better things to do like drink beer.
The new members also proved slightly lacking, while Lisa Voo wins the best herb picker of all time award, every single combat spell she has is a dud and her broom weapon (which classifies as an edged blade for some reason) is pretty underwhelming. The thief Harika also makes a fool of herself trying to perform acrobatics at a local tavern and soon after getting robbed by another thief!
Because "Eh oh, oh eh!" is a natural reaction for some?
Only the Temple of Travia seems to take their mission seriously, and miraculously giving them some divine food from the heavens before they set off for the location on the orc document. The increasing orc patrols are of no issue to the team, so they reach the plains and setup camp. Here, inspired by Dragonball Z I imagine they simply train for the battle to come.
*cue music* Dun dun dunnn!
Arkania: Pit Falls
[Part of the Darklands of Arkania Story.]
Upon returning to Phaexcaer the party immediately hunts down a reputable healer who cures Zubon of his Blue Cough and Emmo of the Numbskull virus (sounds like it makes zombies). While he's at it, he makes sure the rest of the team has a clean bill of health. Just to be certain he suggests the party rests awhile in the city which doesn't sit well with Curian. After a few days he bids farewell and departs to look for the unicorn alone.
The rest of the team spends a lot of time re-equipping and bar hopping, learning about a temple in the wilds to the South that warrants a look and hire a familiar looking, one eyed thief girl named Harika to guide them. The road led past some avalanches and another item hungry swamp that ate random weapons, armor, and Zubon's pants. While the temple itself turned out to be a non-event (as it was really just a temple, exactly like the city ones), a cave high up in the mountains showed signs of orc activity.
Within they found a small regiment of the orcish scum building siege weapons. This band were led by an ugly ogre who managed to kick Emmo into a pit of spikes, killing the hapless elf, before he was defeated. Apart from taking their revenge on the remaining enemies and destroying their constructs they also came across an orcish document that looked important. Pity none of them could read it.
Upon returning to Phaexcaer the party immediately hunts down a reputable healer who cures Zubon of his Blue Cough and Emmo of the Numbskull virus (sounds like it makes zombies). While he's at it, he makes sure the rest of the team has a clean bill of health. Just to be certain he suggests the party rests awhile in the city which doesn't sit well with Curian. After a few days he bids farewell and departs to look for the unicorn alone.
The rest of the team spends a lot of time re-equipping and bar hopping, learning about a temple in the wilds to the South that warrants a look and hire a familiar looking, one eyed thief girl named Harika to guide them. The road led past some avalanches and another item hungry swamp that ate random weapons, armor, and Zubon's pants. While the temple itself turned out to be a non-event (as it was really just a temple, exactly like the city ones), a cave high up in the mountains showed signs of orc activity.
Within they found a small regiment of the orcish scum building siege weapons. This band were led by an ugly ogre who managed to kick Emmo into a pit of spikes, killing the hapless elf, before he was defeated. Apart from taking their revenge on the remaining enemies and destroying their constructs they also came across an orcish document that looked important. Pity none of them could read it.
Maintaining a spike pit must be annoying logistically.
Saturday, 9 January 2016
Arkania: Hyggelik
[Part of the Darklands of Arkania Story.]
The pirates did make an attempt at stopping the party from leaving not just the cave, but the island itself via ship boarding combat. They are woefully unsuccessful and upon reaching Thorwal the party sells the looted treasure to now sit at over 2K Ducats in the kitty. Taking a guess with the assembled map they headed back North to Phexcaer and along the way Vayshen spots a marker point. A marker to Hyggelik's treasure!
It is a hard slog crossing the river and hacking through vegetation for days. Zubon and Emmo fall sick from the journey but eventually they find some ruins deep in the mountains - a crumbling castle. Literally, as falling debris and twisted ankles do more damage than the numerous zombies wandering the grounds. There's also a cool puzzle door involving mirrors and separating the party but the main event is a large chamber with a lot of undead.
Weakened from the journey here the fight is pretty tough, with Curian getting clawed a lot and Emmo too sick to actually contribute. Still, they are on the verge of winning when a voice calls out to the zombies and orders them to stop fighting. It is zombie Hyggelik, cursed to undeath by some treasure he and his men found years ago. Hearing about the impending orc attack, he willingly hands over Grimring to Shintar and commands the team to protect the lands from the orcish invaders.
The pirates did make an attempt at stopping the party from leaving not just the cave, but the island itself via ship boarding combat. They are woefully unsuccessful and upon reaching Thorwal the party sells the looted treasure to now sit at over 2K Ducats in the kitty. Taking a guess with the assembled map they headed back North to Phexcaer and along the way Vayshen spots a marker point. A marker to Hyggelik's treasure!
That would be incredibly good spotting.
It is a hard slog crossing the river and hacking through vegetation for days. Zubon and Emmo fall sick from the journey but eventually they find some ruins deep in the mountains - a crumbling castle. Literally, as falling debris and twisted ankles do more damage than the numerous zombies wandering the grounds. There's also a cool puzzle door involving mirrors and separating the party but the main event is a large chamber with a lot of undead.
Enemies all around - just where we want them!
Weakened from the journey here the fight is pretty tough, with Curian getting clawed a lot and Emmo too sick to actually contribute. Still, they are on the verge of winning when a voice calls out to the zombies and orders them to stop fighting. It is zombie Hyggelik, cursed to undeath by some treasure he and his men found years ago. Hearing about the impending orc attack, he willingly hands over Grimring to Shintar and commands the team to protect the lands from the orcish invaders.
You aren't looking so good, Mister Hyggelik.
Thursday, 7 January 2016
Arkania: Runinshaven
[Part of the Darklands of Arkania Story.]
Stuck on the isle of Runinshaven the party decides to explore all the way up to the lighthouse. Around midway they find a cave which is the strangest one they've run into so far. It has pirates and undead. They also have a humorous encounter against another Heshthot demon. This one must have heard of them because on its first turn of combat it simply turned tail and ran! The most unique creature here though, was a dragon!
He had been trapped here by pirates and asked for aid to be free. This was a little more challenging than first anticipated as it involved fighting endless streams of mummies who were adept at breaking weapons, burning Zubon's hands to pull down a lever, having Paeroka's lockpicks break on a difficult door forcing Vayshen and Wolfy to bust it down with force and finally confronting the pirate captain and his lackeys. Vayshen also manages to get bitten by a rat after sticking his hand in a random hole.
With the orb controlling the dragon destroyed it rejoices, vowing to kill all humans it comes across for retribution. It does spare the party though, and gives them enough experience to advance another level. I guess that's a good thing?
Stuck on the isle of Runinshaven the party decides to explore all the way up to the lighthouse. Around midway they find a cave which is the strangest one they've run into so far. It has pirates and undead. They also have a humorous encounter against another Heshthot demon. This one must have heard of them because on its first turn of combat it simply turned tail and ran! The most unique creature here though, was a dragon!
Because those are the only options you have when facing a dragon.
He had been trapped here by pirates and asked for aid to be free. This was a little more challenging than first anticipated as it involved fighting endless streams of mummies who were adept at breaking weapons, burning Zubon's hands to pull down a lever, having Paeroka's lockpicks break on a difficult door forcing Vayshen and Wolfy to bust it down with force and finally confronting the pirate captain and his lackeys. Vayshen also manages to get bitten by a rat after sticking his hand in a random hole.
With the orb controlling the dragon destroyed it rejoices, vowing to kill all humans it comes across for retribution. It does spare the party though, and gives them enough experience to advance another level. I guess that's a good thing?
And the world was a better place?
Wednesday, 6 January 2016
Arkania: The Missing Piece
[Part of the Darklands of Arkania Story.]
With no other leads to go on, Curian convinced the team to head back up to Hermit's lake to find his unicorn but all they find are an increasing number of orcs, goblins and ogres. I seriously question why orcs are considered a threat if it is so easy to defeat them. Anyway, after days of uneventful travel the team encounters a bard who sings a song about Hyggelik. He happens to be traveling with a merchant who is in possession of a map piece and is willing to sell it for a mere 60 ducats!
Inspired by this turn of events the team revisits Jurge at Skjal, hoping that he would give the last piece over upon seeing the rest of the map. He doesn't. Zubon wishes Iron Dagger was around to break in and simply steal it from him but that's not an option. With winter setting in the mountain passes are also now impassable meaning they can't go after the -relatively- nearby Daspota treasure. Disheartened they decide to take a ship back to Thorwal to plan their next move.
However a random encounter shifts the course of their ship! The krakennewt almost takes Wolfy down with it into the sea but it is fought off but the vessel is forced to dock on the isle of Runinshaven for repairs.
With no other leads to go on, Curian convinced the team to head back up to Hermit's lake to find his unicorn but all they find are an increasing number of orcs, goblins and ogres. I seriously question why orcs are considered a threat if it is so easy to defeat them. Anyway, after days of uneventful travel the team encounters a bard who sings a song about Hyggelik. He happens to be traveling with a merchant who is in possession of a map piece and is willing to sell it for a mere 60 ducats!
Not with your text box in the way, Curian.
Inspired by this turn of events the team revisits Jurge at Skjal, hoping that he would give the last piece over upon seeing the rest of the map. He doesn't. Zubon wishes Iron Dagger was around to break in and simply steal it from him but that's not an option. With winter setting in the mountain passes are also now impassable meaning they can't go after the -relatively- nearby Daspota treasure. Disheartened they decide to take a ship back to Thorwal to plan their next move.
Baby kraken?
However a random encounter shifts the course of their ship! The krakennewt almost takes Wolfy down with it into the sea but it is fought off but the vessel is forced to dock on the isle of Runinshaven for repairs.
Tuesday, 5 January 2016
Arkania: Truth in Rumors
[Part of the Darklands of Arkania Story.]
It was a few days later that the party arrived at Skjal by ship, now in the 1.5k Ducat range in wealth. Alas, no amount of money could part Jurge Torfinsson from his part of the map. He demanded to see a letter of introduction from the Hetman of Thorwal. The party did have one earlier, but Zubon kinda lost it in the marsh at Hermit's Lake. No problem though, for such an important quest surely the Hetman would make another right?
The party returned to Thorwal only to find the Hetman was uninterested in seeing them, and would basically no longer assist them in anyway. Dismayed by this turn of events, Shintar suggested they try clean out the remainder of the local keep. An idea everyone else agreed with, possibly because they were all drunk at that point. The amount of alcohol consumed in this game is amazing. Even the custodian, Master Dramosch was a bit tipsy when he let his old friends back in.
After Curian managed to unseal the ominous door the team found themselves fighting undead again, proving that the rumors were in fact true. Stairs down led to vertical shafts leading down, and to flooded passages which required swimming.
At the very last floor waited another Heshthot demon. Paeroka was thrilled at the chance to "avenge" Nerk's passing but she didn't get the chance. Curian and Emmo did a combined kamehameha and it was simply no more. Eventually they find a narrow passage that leads out to a local smithy, which is odd since that kind of implicates the smith with all the demonic and undead presence down there. This point is left unexplored in the game. :P
It was a few days later that the party arrived at Skjal by ship, now in the 1.5k Ducat range in wealth. Alas, no amount of money could part Jurge Torfinsson from his part of the map. He demanded to see a letter of introduction from the Hetman of Thorwal. The party did have one earlier, but Zubon kinda lost it in the marsh at Hermit's Lake. No problem though, for such an important quest surely the Hetman would make another right?
The party returned to Thorwal only to find the Hetman was uninterested in seeing them, and would basically no longer assist them in anyway. Dismayed by this turn of events, Shintar suggested they try clean out the remainder of the local keep. An idea everyone else agreed with, possibly because they were all drunk at that point. The amount of alcohol consumed in this game is amazing. Even the custodian, Master Dramosch was a bit tipsy when he let his old friends back in.
That sounds safe! Let's go!
After Curian managed to unseal the ominous door the team found themselves fighting undead again, proving that the rumors were in fact true. Stairs down led to vertical shafts leading down, and to flooded passages which required swimming.
One of those expletive moments.
At the very last floor waited another Heshthot demon. Paeroka was thrilled at the chance to "avenge" Nerk's passing but she didn't get the chance. Curian and Emmo did a combined kamehameha and it was simply no more. Eventually they find a narrow passage that leads out to a local smithy, which is odd since that kind of implicates the smith with all the demonic and undead presence down there. This point is left unexplored in the game. :P
Monday, 4 January 2016
Arkania: Mountain Ruins
[Part of the Darklands of Arkania Story.]
It was on the path North of Rybon where Emmo led them. A chance encounter with a dying adventuress also gives them the location of the Daspota treasure, which happened to be a cave on the same road. The team opted to skip it though, as riches weren't what they needed right now. The added weight would have also made traversing the deadly pitfalls even harder.
Harpies also harass the adventurers as they continue higher up the mountains, and Shintar's initial worry that Emmo refused to wear plate armor (because elves are allergic to it I guess) was non founded. She made up for it with an exceptional dodge rate AND she too had combat magic! On top of her superior hunting skills this made her a very valuable ally. After many trials against nature, they finally found the ruins.
The inhabitants: mages and undead were ludicrously weak compared to what they had already been through just to get there. Even their leader, the thieving wizard only managed to knock Shintar out with some form of blob that sticks to one's face. Curian showed him the true meaning of magic and felled him with a single blast. Not only does this net them another map piece, but Paeroka also unlocks a chest with 500 ducats inside! Pleased at their efforts, they descended the cliffs on the other side and hit the nearest tavern to celebrate.
It was on the path North of Rybon where Emmo led them. A chance encounter with a dying adventuress also gives them the location of the Daspota treasure, which happened to be a cave on the same road. The team opted to skip it though, as riches weren't what they needed right now. The added weight would have also made traversing the deadly pitfalls even harder.
Save vs Death or Save vs Illness. Easy choice.
Harpies also harass the adventurers as they continue higher up the mountains, and Shintar's initial worry that Emmo refused to wear plate armor (because elves are allergic to it I guess) was non founded. She made up for it with an exceptional dodge rate AND she too had combat magic! On top of her superior hunting skills this made her a very valuable ally. After many trials against nature, they finally found the ruins.
If only the text didn't cover the picture...
The inhabitants: mages and undead were ludicrously weak compared to what they had already been through just to get there. Even their leader, the thieving wizard only managed to knock Shintar out with some form of blob that sticks to one's face. Curian showed him the true meaning of magic and felled him with a single blast. Not only does this net them another map piece, but Paeroka also unlocks a chest with 500 ducats inside! Pleased at their efforts, they descended the cliffs on the other side and hit the nearest tavern to celebrate.
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