Thea: Team Talarian

[Part of the Darklands of Arkania Story.]

With Cooper dead, it now falls on Talarian - the most veteran of the Memorial Ground villagers to form a squad, and so Team Talarian is born: composed of Harika, Striga Syl, Korima, Moxie Pally and Tacktix TLC. On their first outing they find a magically shielded tree and attempt to dispel the shield. Striga Syl succeeds, teaching Talarian some magic in the process and finding that the shield was actually protecting Spiral Star and Pineconettes who happily rejoin!

They then find the new lair of Zmey, and this time, since I'm not using auto resolve - I see just how overpowered the great serpent is. Without a hope to defeat it just yet, Team Talarian backs off and instead focuses on neutralizing the numerous abomination army camps that are becoming prevalent in the region. During one such assault, Harika and Korima are slain.

It's not good news at Memorial Ground either where a drake has captured and consumed two of the children. Rhino spotted which direction it fled in though, so after Team Talarian switched out Moxie Pally and Spiral Star to village guard duty for Fanatic Sword and Izlain Backwood, they were hot on the trail of the winged beast.

It looks kind of cute!

Thea: The Leech Lord

[Part of the Darklands of Arkania Story.]

To hunt the Leech Lord, Cooper Team first returns to the Memorial Ground to gear up and get reinforcements in the form of Korima, Moxie Pally, Tacktix TLC and recent newcomer Izlain Backwood. Learning from last time, the rest of the villagers stay put while the chase commences, and a short chase it is too. Now is a good time to mention that due to my absolute dislike of the "card challenge system" this game has which happens whenever you fight, explore, converse and the like I've been simply Auto-Resolving every encounter up until now.

Realizing that the game is probably weighted against the player, this turns out to be my first actively participated "card battle". For a first timer it goes rather well I think, and while Cooper Team all take injuries, they are ultimately victorious - restoring some power to the Night God Horos, who for some reason rewards people at the village (Curian, Rhino and Harika) with leech (life drain) abilities. Horos also commands a newly formed striga mistress to join Cooper Team: Striga Syl (who was actually the first casualty of this tale)!

It is not all good news however, as during the night Mama Cori, Vayshen Panda and Cooper Mantly succumb to their wounds and die.

Saving throw = failed.

Thea: Rookie Mistake

[Part of the Darklands of Arkania Story.]

The confrontation with the Leech Lord does not go well, for he doesn't travel alone. Indeed, he has a whole entourage of strigas with him - and just one of those gave Geralt of Rivia a lot of problems. While Cooper Team is defeated, they all manage to escape while the Leech Lord and his monsters feed on the random caravan folk they were attacking at the time. Thinking logically, Cooper decides to rally everyone from Hermit's Lake to face this foe, but this turns out to be a rookie mistake.

Having zero people in the village ends the game, a small fact the douche bag Theodore forgot to mention in his tutorial. To this end I can only assume the Leech Lord circled around and destroyed the settlement while everyone was out hunting him. Regardless, the survivors are forced to move on and begin a new settlement at a bone yard with rich soil which they name the Memorial Ground (yep, that's me restarting). The place is clearly haunted but fortunately there's a resident Lapiduch (spirit catcher frog demon) around.

Soul Eater!

The task of building this settlement falls to Thorgrim, Curian, Cateaclysmic and Korima while Cooper Mantly reforms his expedition crew of Harika, Vayshen Panda, Talarian Design, Missy Sparks, and Mama Cori. One of the children also grows up to be a warrioress - Moxie Pally. Alas, during the move it seems Pineconette and Spiral Star were separated from the rest of the villagers and are now listed as missing in action.

Thea: The Eclipse

[Part of the Darklands of Arkania Story.]

After a long journey, Wolfy had led Darth, Cooper, Braxwolf, Talarian and Mama Cori to a place where she figured the soldiers of Riva would not find them: Hermit's lake, where the role of hermit had now passed on to Curian - who was still hoping to find his unicorn. He didn't live alone though. In the little hamlet he now housed child orphans from the various wars, a retired soldier named Heather Bee as well as two sisters Wolfy recognized: Korima the warrior and Harika the one eyed thief, who was also on the run after managing to lose her sizable amount of loot at gambling.

They had only been there a few days passed when suddenly the sun darkened through means of an unnatural eclipse, and during that time the world around them changed for the worse. Mama Cori was unsure for how long the sun remained dark, but when the first greyish rays of light began to filter through, it was decided an expedition be sent out to discover the mystery of the darkness.

Those houses are tiny compared to the people! :P

This party, composed of Braxwolf, Mama Cori, Curian, Heather Bee, Darth and led by Wolfy decided to first make their way to a nearby ruined tower where they encountered a bearded demon named Theodore. The little bastard tasks the team with menial duties such as boar hunting, vegetable growing, structure building, and retrieving gold from a demon buddy of his, who is of the cuter Hohlick variety.

Rat-poodle Fairy?

Star Trail: Summoned by Elsurion

[Part of the Darklands of Arkania Story.]

With our heroes celebrating their victory by drinking themselves into daily drunken stupors, the one eyed thief Harika took advantage of their trust and left - taking at least two thirds of their combined wealth with her! There was no time to pursue her though as a messenger arrived for them, requesting their immediate presence at the distant city of Kvirasim in the Northern inland. The orc horde that was turned from Thorwal was now marching in that direction.

After days of travel they finally reached the city where they met the elf Elsurion Starlight at a local tavern. Elsurion's plan was to unite the forces of dwarves, men and elves against the orc invaders and  to do this, he would need the Salamander Stone - an ancient artifact that once symbolized the union of the races but has since been lost in the Dwarven Pit. The team was tasked with recovering the stone and delivering it to a dwarf leader named Ingramosh. To assist in this, Elsurion assigned his trusted henchman Pike the Hare to guide the heroes before he himself left to do other duties.

Yes, by us! Or are you talking about that other uprising in the Northlands?

As soon as Elsurion was out the door a random bystander immediately made a counter offer of 1000 Ducats for the stone to be delivered to a lady at Lowangen instead. The team, now composed of Paeroka Bookah, Zubon Ratkiller, Vayshen Panda, Wolfy Eyes, Shintar Winter and Pike the Hare, mulled over their choices the only way they knew how: By getting absolutely drunk.

Not shady at all.

Arkania: Two Years Later

[Part of the Darklands of Arkania Story.]

Out of nowhere the giant orc army appears before the party, and Shintar gets to use the speech she had been practicing for two years to challenge the orc champion out to a duel. Orcs are stupid you see - if the champion dies the rest of them scatter to the wind. Her speech works and Lord Garzlokh takes to the field to fight her.

The showdown begins!

Not willing to just be spectators Vayshen and Wolfy make use of the distraction to charge the spectating orcs and get some early hits in, turning the "duel" into an all out battle. Seeing the opportunity to use her new spell "Terror Broom", Voo casts her spell at the orc champion but rolls a critical failure, igniting herself in immolating flames and screaming until nothing is left of her but ash.

At the "duel" itself, Shintar wielding the magic sword Grimring is actually losing! It requires a quick change of strategy so that the champion is getting pounced on not just by her, but by Zubon, Wolfy, and Paeroka who eventually does him in with her axe. Harika and Vayshen desperately hold off the rest of the swarm where Harika's dodging skills are super effective. Things aren't going so well for Vayshen though as not only does his sword break but so does his hand.

Can still do one point of damage with it!

Orc Champion: P0wn3d!

The two are saved quickly after the orc champion falls though, through the same use of focused attacks. Victory is theirs! The orcs flee back to their lands, and the team is welcomed as heroes back at Thorwal where they hand over the magic sword to the Hetman who pays them a measly 50 ducats for their trouble. They then listen to the jazz musical stylings of Elise Einarsdotter at the local tavern while drinking more ale and wondering how best to spend their new found wealth and fame.

Arkania: Not the Sharpest

[Part of the Darklands of Arkania Story.]

It was long trek back to Thorwal to get the orc document decoded by new team member Lisa Voo, witch extraordinaire. The scroll was a battle plan complete with location and the date of the invasion... in the year 17. The current year is 15! That certainly gives plenty of time to prepare! Alas, the Hetman wasn't even interested in this information insisting it was the adventurer's quest to get it done. He had better things to do like drink beer.

The new members also proved slightly lacking, while Lisa Voo wins the best herb picker of all time award, every single combat spell she has is a dud and her broom weapon (which classifies as an edged blade for some reason) is pretty underwhelming. The thief Harika also makes a fool of herself trying to perform acrobatics at a local tavern and soon after getting robbed by another thief!

Because "Eh oh, oh eh!" is a natural reaction for some?

Only the Temple of Travia seems to take their mission seriously, and miraculously giving them some divine food from the heavens before they set off for the location on the orc document. The increasing orc patrols are of no issue to the team, so they reach the plains and setup camp. Here, inspired by Dragonball Z I imagine they simply train for the battle to come.

*cue music* Dun dun dunnn!

Arkania: Pit Falls

[Part of the Darklands of Arkania Story.]

Upon returning to Phaexcaer the party immediately hunts down a reputable healer who cures Zubon of his Blue Cough and Emmo of the Numbskull virus (sounds like it makes zombies). While he's at it, he makes sure the rest of the team has a clean bill of health. Just to be certain he suggests the party rests awhile in the city which doesn't sit well with Curian. After a few days he bids farewell and departs to look for the unicorn alone.

The rest of the team spends a lot of time re-equipping and bar hopping, learning about a temple in the wilds to the South that warrants a look and hire a familiar looking, one eyed thief girl named Harika to guide them. The road led past some avalanches and another item hungry swamp that ate random weapons, armor, and Zubon's pants. While the temple itself turned out to be a non-event (as it was really just a temple, exactly like the city ones), a cave high up in the mountains  showed signs of orc activity.

Within they found a small regiment of the orcish scum building siege weapons. This band were led by an ugly ogre who managed to kick Emmo into a pit of spikes, killing the hapless elf, before he was defeated. Apart from taking their revenge on the remaining enemies and destroying their constructs they also came across an orcish document that looked important. Pity none of them could read it.

Maintaining a spike pit must be annoying logistically.