The Old Guard 2 and Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny

Sequel movies that ignore common sense.

The Old Guard 2 

This sequel continues the story of a band of immortals (led by one played by Charlize Theron who isn't immortal now) as they continue to do dangerous things and get their feelings hurt, mainly because physical damage is meaningless. Hilarious plot devices to provoke hand to hand fights (which are not bad but very choreographed) including things like, don't use firearms near the reactor but then proceed to step on exploding mines in that area which are apparently ok? They try to give answers, but the answers are silly. Not as good as the first movie.

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny 

This latest Indiana Jones flick sees an elderly Doctor Jones (Harrison Ford) still fighting Nazis over an ancient artifact (again). Good news: I feel this is better than the previous movie "Kingdom of the Crystal Skull", but that is a super low bar to clear. As it is, you need to actively accept that characters here can ignore physics and common sense with simple things like, knocking someone out and dropping them off camera means no one can spot the body now since it is out of the shot - even if in reality they'd be standing right on top of them! If you can look past (a lot) of that, then you might enjoy this adventure. 

Today I Smiled: Random Funnies and Musics

Hmm, its been a minute since I've used a title like that. Anyway, here are some random things that I'm enjoying at the moment - starting with Vought International. If you're a fan of the Boys and/or Gen V, this has a fair bit of extra content in here that ranges from intentional cringe to really hilarious. I've also been enjoying the FreeMMAGyms channel for both its humor and instruction.

Onto pure silliness we have this Catan clip that anyone can enjoy (sound on), translations of Westeners Chinese Tattoos, stealing a girl's car skit, and proof that live action anime style openings done well can work for anything. As I am compelled to add music stuff, here's Lord Vinherio playing some chickens!?

If you prefer some better musics, here's the One Voice children's choir with a Wicked Medley and their rendition of Golden from KPop Demon Hunters, and an orchestral one of Soda Pop. Note that last one is purely just the music, the visuals are "fake". Speaking of fake, Rick Beato has a quick vid of how easy it is to make an AI Artist. If you prefer something more live and less produced, here's Laufey on tiny desk.

Pathfinder: The Headless Child

[Part of the Party Time journal]

Following the voice the party comes across a chapel to Lamashtu (again?) within which are the four remaining missing people from Sandpoint: the adults tied to stakes and blades rigged with ropes being held up by the young boy Dario who looks like somethings been munching on pieces of him, missing an arm among other things. A laughing evil voice asks which one they want to save and Valeros uses his helm of teleportation to get right in there only to find it is mostly an illusion conjured by two half lion lamias! The first one smashes him decently while the second bites off and devours Dario's head, who alas, was not an illusion. 

The Lamia's mirror images are really the only thing keeping them safe as once those are removed they fall quickly, with the last one trying to retreat but being blocked by Kyra's wall of stone while Merisiel backstabs it to death. A patrol of four giant guards then storms in from behind them but Valeros' flame thrower and Razmus critical hammer blows erase them from existence before they can do much. 

After looting they proceed towards the next roaring sound they hear and find a pair of chained young red dragons who demand to be let free so they can eat the humans. Ezren responds by dropping an ice storm and cloud kill on them, and they respond by breathing fire which Merisiel dodges completely while Kyra heals those who don't. Shoanti archery and Valeros' dragon slaying blade end the weakened winged lizards soon after letting the team proceed around the corner to the prisoner preparation chamber where they find the remaining trio of tortured Sandpoint prisoners chained. 

A massive giant springs from hiding from the mud, smacking Merisiel hard but is taken down in one round with a combination of Joe Gang and Shay's archery and Ezren finally landing an empowered disintegrate spell. After freeing the captives and resting again they receive a magic message to meet with Conna at a nearby altar where she reveals that she's delivered the forged orders and advises them that the password for the shining door probably lies in the black tower above. She also mentions the giant defenders are massing a defense at the ramp though, and offers to try keep the prisoners (including the beardless dwarves) safe and hidden. 

Pathfinder: The Shining Child

[Part of the Party Time journal]

The explosion seals the cave passage behind the party, so they take the time to rest up until a very animated and friendly bat ushers them deeper in to its master, an equally suspiciously friendly giant named Conna who happens to be the mom of the current giant king Mokmurian who she says has been possessed by some evil and now must die. That's pretty dark, but we'll take it! Conna draws out a map of this lower level as best as she can along with the guards and traps within, and due to her hesitance to fight her kin Valeros asks her to deliver forged orders instead.

The rescue prisoner mission is switched to kill the king guy instead so the team makes their way along a quieter passage taking down a trio of ogre tanners and two stone giant smiths who were keeping half a dozen beardless dwarves prisoners. Merisiel sets them free and they join the team as they take out two giant trolls guarding the passage down to Mokmurian's lair but it is blocked by a huge, ancient and clearly trapped glowing door.

Razmus chucks a boulder at it but that just angers the spirit within, a screaming shining child that teleports right into the party's midst and blinds everyone but the Shoanti, Shay and Razmus. They, along with Kyra's summoned elephant and Valeros' blind fighting skill eventually smash the spirit but the door remains unchanged. The party takes cover to rest again and for Kyra to cure blindness when they hear a noise from a nearby tunnel. A call for help?

Helldivers 2: Ten Super Credit Farming Tips

If you're like me and just want to unlock all those warbonds in Helldivers 2 without opening your wallet then here are some quick tips to farm super credits! Note: While the tips are quick, the farming is going to be a bit of a grind... :P

1 - Desert planets yield more opportunities. More land space = more chance for points of interest on the map. My regular ones are Choohe and Vernen Wells against the automatons and Grand Errant against the terminids. 

Stars in the red circles give an approximate location of these three worlds.

2 - For the same reason above - illegal broadcast and drop pod data missions are the best ones to do as space isn't "wasted" with enemy bases or other facilities. If those aren't available, do one of the others types on the same planet to let them show up again - ideally an eliminate [single target] one as those are faster than flag raising, activating fuel pumps and sabotaging supply bases.

3 - Difficulty wise level 1 trivial missions are the best for super credits as you don't get "samples" in the pool of RNG treasures when you open up a POI. 

4 - If you have friends or allies, try do some farming with them as the locked bunkers that need two people to open have lots of chances for super credits. Anyone picks up super credits or medals, everyone (regardless of where they are on the map) gets the full amount.

5 - Regardless if you have friends the first warbond you unlock should be the "Control Group" to get the warp pack. Having this lets you teleport into those two button bunkers by yourself, improving your solo grinding immensely! If you find its "bouncing" you out instead of teleporting you in, stand back a little and/or crouch before warping. When warping out, always aim angled left to avoid exploding the potential fork lift outside which might kill you.

6 - Pick a load out for speed: Light armor, sprinting bonuses, the warp pack when you have it. Explosive grenade or weapon to open containers. You might even find such a weapon on planet. Treat it as your "lockpick" with a preference on fast fire / open rate.

7 - Even if my "green" common samples are full, I still pick them up at each POI so that the map marker changes from a white diamond to a regular gray pointer. It takes a little more time, but it lets me not worry about remembering where I've been. The sample count also gives me an idea of how many more spots there might be.

8 - I still do the mission and extraction because I'm interested in leveling up my weapons for customization, but if you have no interest in that and don't care about your win record feel free to just quit the mission as soon as you've hit all the POI's as any super credits and medals picked up are immediately "safe". 

9 - In every warbond, except the premium HALO one currently, there are 300 super credits to unlock which is great. 

10 - To retain your skills and sanity, after every unlocked warbond or two go into a few random super helldive missions (at least one against each faction) and spread democracy!

The Beekeeper and Jurassic World Rebirth

A pair of action movies with a healthy dose of plot armor.

The Beekeeper

When the kind landlady of a quiet beekeeper (played by Jason Statham) becomes the victim of cyber crime, said beekeeper goes on a murderous rampage of revenge. It helps that he's also ex-spec ops and loaded to the brim with plot armor. While the story is very similar to his other film, A Working Man, this one is better plot wise. Thumbs up!

Jurassic World Rebirth

Even in the universe of Jurassic World the resurrected dinosaurs are now old, boring news and as the modern climate is actually fatal to them the remaining dinos only exist near the equator on islands mandated that no human should ever go to. Of course, greedy scientists hire a team of equally greedy mercenaries (one of whom is played by Scarlett Johansson) to do just that... and for some stupid reason the script writers just had to inject a family with children as well to fill a tick box in the plot sheet. It's an ok and very pretty movie, but it would have been better if it was just mercs vs the dinos - and if they could just go weapons free instead of treating them like poor puppy dogs like they do each movie.  

Reign: The Conqueror (1997) and The Rats: A Witcher Tale

Two TV shows with different problems.

Reign: The Conqueror

This anime series is the story of Alexander the Great, in the art style and clothing choices of the Aeon Flux cartoon (1991) and set in a strange pseudo-future where people still ride horses and use short swords and super long spears but also can occasionally turn into aircraft, field giant robots in battle, and more than once have outer body experiences that involve standing in space looking down at the planets and obsessing about geometry. 

One episode has Alexander journey through a city he hasn't built yet in a flash-forward, where he has to reach his own, digitally encrypted tomb while another features the most ridiculous execution device ever: a spinning blade the size of a building. Strange doesn't begin to describe it, but its otherwise an ok story with very little character investment.

The Rats: A Witcher Tale

Set after season 4 of the Netflix Witcher TV series, this live action movie has loads more problems than the above. Due to its nature you already know how it ends before it starts, and the main characters are basically a band of army deserters turned brigands that are stupid selfish asshats who think their personal trauma makes them unique snow flakes in a world of NPCs which doesn't really improve their likeability from their time in the main show. 

There are some nice action bits and funny bits and Dolph Lundgren's character is the main highlight of the whole thing but even all that is not enough to save this. 

Unrelated, but I'd be remiss not to talk about Witcher S4 while I'm at it where the main change is that protagonist Geralt has a new actor in Liam Hemsworth. For me, he actually does a pretty good job of character continuity from his tone of voice all the way to his fight moves. If anything, the only problems with S4 would be the same ones from previous seasons - the plot and plot holes. I still enjoyed it though, much more than I did The Rats.