Elden Ring: Are you ready?

[Part of my Elden Ring journal]

One more return trip to the previously flooded church district lets me find an elevator I turned my back on the first time I came through and subsequently forgot about. Turns out this is very important since it leads right to a giant rotten sunflower boss that actually respawns twice during the fight! It takes a few goes to realize the holy club and range are no good here - indeed the sunflower excels at range, so I need to get in there with the great dragon hunting katana to chop it up and when I finally manage to do so it drops Miquella's great rune - the item I can use to counter that two-hit instakill!

Now I'm all set, I return to Radahn wielding the antspur rapier (he's weak to scarlet rot) and decked out in Moore's heavy armor and tower shield with the +3 Crimson Medal (max bonus HP), +3 Viridian Medal (max bonus stam), Two-Headed Turtle Talisman (stam recovery boost), and Kindred of Rot's Exultation (bonus damage when near scarlet rot). Turns out to be a simple matter of blocking and stabbing to absolutely cane him, which is great because it actually took me around 30+ attempts before trying this combination lol.

Finally stabbed him to death!

Thollier does not survive the confrontation but neither do Radahn and Miquella, while Sir Ansbach dies from his grave injuries afterwards. Thumbs up Elden Ring, everyone died! Though I think I died the most? :P That concludes the adventures here once more. Unless there's another DLC that comes out... Oh look, what's Night Reign? :P

Elden Ring: Praise the holy!

[Part of my Elden Ring journal]

With that handy side quest done I'm back to Shadow Keep to exit via the West gate, when I finally figure out that its the little side door to use instead of the usual giant one. This path leads through a Bloodfiend tribe to a powerful hammer knight who I can only defeat using holy club magic missile spam, followed by a bridge that needs crossing in time with the giant fire effigy's flame vortex cool down and into some massive ruins that are home to both giant spider scorpions up stairs, fly men down stairs, more bird assassins and freaking insect people in plagued scarlet rot caves that really suck (I dash past these mounted).

Good thing I had left over Scarlet Rot cures and remembered to use them!

Annoyingly Hornsent invades at the exit of that plague section and I have to put down my ex-ally, right before facing the area boss who is a half lady, half winged centipede creature that also spreads scarlet rot. Luckily I down her on my first attempt with the help of Dryleaf Dane. Setting a tree behind her on fire removes the shadow seal from that tower near the start, and I find myself teleported to it to slay cultists and fly folk within while trying to dodge the stronger ogre mages. That first one blocking the stairs is a doozy and again needs holy club magic missile spam!

The fight up continues past another lion dancer to a chamber where Needle Knight Leda blocks the path with her allies Moore and Dryleaf Dane, but they are no match for me and my allies - Thollier and Sir Ansbach! With Miqella's last line of defense gone all that's left is for the three of us to get up to the highest boss door and... find Miqella has one more guardian on his side: Radahn!?

Elden Ring: Time for snake

[Part of my Elden Ring journal]

Leaving Thollier in the garden, the time has come to take on the Shadow Keep which includes dodging another giant fire effigy and slaying numerous black knights. Hornsent and Freyja aid against the courtyard guardian, a golden hippopotamus that eats the hapless Freyja before Hornsent finishes it off allowing me to enter the really tall tower that serves as a research station full of inscribed stone tablets and hanging giant corpses. Among the many enemies and flame knights (not so scary since they have little poise/are easy to stagger) I assist Sir Ansbach in doing some research on Miqella and assist Hornsent in fighting off Leda who is coming to kill him!

She escapes the battle but Hornsent is grateful enough to assist in fighting Messmer, the snake and spear wielding boss of this keep. It takes me three tries to get him down then I back track to the Keep's flooded church district (jumping puzzle time) and unflood it via a handy lever? Why would that not just be open all the time? Big monsters wait in the muddy bottom there whom I skip for now, and instead find the back door where the boar riding Commander Gaius awaits! He's another tough fight until I realize all I have to do is roll INTO his attacks.

Yes, roll into the giant armored boar.

While its a dead end beyond, there are a whole bunch of Scadutree fragments to collect which are a new thing that provide bonuses to people in the shadow realm. A separate path leads to a pair of mounted Tree Sentinels who I now classify as weak, followed by some worthless snake aliens and another falling star beast which poses no threat what so ever. Beyond the next camp is true horror though... as there flocks of giant hands crawling around! YUCK!!!

Elden Ring: Don't you dare!

[Part of my Elden Ring journal]

After that dragon slaying adventure there is a strange chime and a warning that "somewhere a great rune has broken" as I'm exploring the small village and gaol of Bonny which prompts me to check how Leda and her team are doing. Apparently Miqella is a great charmer, and with that magic gone only Leda remains faithful to him... and possibly Dryleaf Dane because that guy just doesn't talk! Freyja decides to do her own thing, Hornsent is angry, Moore is sad, Sir Ansbach is fearful, and Thollier remembers he has a hard on for St. Trina, remembering that Moore mentioned something about her flowers located on an isle to the South.

I'm always up for a good love story (but this is Elden Ring so... I expect lots of death) so I head to said place and find a deep hole near those flowers the guys were talking about and find a deep cave with Bloodletters, ghost beastmen, skeletal warriors whose bones you need to smash after they die otherwise they get back up again, and a really odd campsite of animals all sleeping in worship...? The mounted boss here is a tough one: the Putrescent Knight. He and his horse can combo for days while moving out of range so its back to the holy club for this fight, where I spam the magic "bullet" attack to win.

It happens so much that it loses the weight usually attached to it.

This turns out to be St. Trina's garden and she herself is here... a plant lady oozing with tempting(?) nectar. Drinking it causes death but hey, there's a respawn point nearby anyway so I drink so much that she starts talking to me, saying Miqella has to be stopped from becoming trapped as a god. Thollier shows up and is upset I'm drinking his lady's juices so there's a brief skirmish and he is indeed very weak, but after explaining that I'm only doing that as a means of communication we're good again and it's his turn to nurse at the flower's teat? Thanks Elden Ring, you make me type up the strangest stuff. :P

Elden Ring: Here again...

[Part of my Elden Ring journal]

Just when I thought I was done with Elden Ring, Juris gifts me the DLC: Shadow of the Erdtree. So now I'm back and quickly recruited by Needle Knight Leda to venture to the Realm of Shadow to find their lord, Miquella. This realm of Shadow is quite pleasant at first. Lush fields with ordinary shadow peasant folk and their shadow dog pets whom I murder as well as giant stone birds that come to life when you get too close to whatever grave they are guarding. They're also no match for my great club.

It's a magical place...

It's when I find the tomb of some ghost knight with a huge sword and repeating crossbow that I start getting my ass kicked because I've forgotten how to play. Dodge? Block? Counter? Stam runs out!? What!? "You have died" (a lot). But slowly it comes back to me: with the club, aggression is king and if I ignore any and all semblance of intellect and just rush forward and jump smash, that's how I win. Easily. Because club: smash! Also super effective on the stone birds!

Soon after I meet more of Leda's team: Redmane Freyja, a soldier of Radahn (who I helped kill). Hornsent, a bandaged samurai. Sir Ansbach, former servant of Mogh (who I killed). Dryleaf Dane, a silent monk and Moore, a heavily armored but simpleton knight who likes collecting and selling stuff. Nearby are more denizens of the place, spiritual ogres who I later learn are called "Bloodfiends" and lightning goats who I always run away from! I also always avoid the giant burning men because... what sane person would want to fight that? my club doesn't hurt it enough and it has good AoE. :P