[Part of my Elden Ring journal]
Camping for the night after exploring some of the monkey lands I am approached by Melina, who offers to be my maiden and is from an order of women that like fingering...? Um. Ok. Other travelers keep remarking how maidenless my wretch is so I accept her offer and am finally now able to spend runes (which act both as currency and experience points) to level up! Huzzah! This is the same currency lost upon death.
* Snicker *
Other than a good time (leveling), Melina also provides me a whistle that can summon a spirit steed to get around faster, but there's just something about crouch-walking (aka "stealthing") everywhere that's more my speed. Anyway, a huge bridge that connects to the South is too well guarded by zombie soldiers with a siege weapon so I continue scouting the shoreline, beating up some wolves that made their den in a graveyard before skipping an equally well defended cliff fortress that follows.b
This leads me into the forest of the giga bears who I REALLY avoid and come across a small well-house while doing so. The magical elevator within takes me down... down... down... holy hell this underground place is HUGE and even houses some ruins. Barnacle people inhabit this lower place and they are super resistant to damage, but also seem to always be moving in slow motion. I exploit this and run circles around them while looting all their treasures! Muahahaha!
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