F9 (Fast and Furious 9) and The Suicide Squad

A contrast of what to do with large casts.

F9 (Fast & Furious 9)

Plot armor front and center.

Dominic Torreto's (Vin Diesel) quiet life is interrupted when his crew come to him for help on an urgent mission which involves a lot of vehicles, explosions, and a few decent fight scenes. Plot wise though... the writers must have looked at the previous movies and said "how can we make this even more ludicrous?" They succeeded.

Gangsta's in space yo

Almost nothing makes sense in this film so if you watch it, it is purely for the spectacle of the action scenes and to see them use the "oh this character isn't actually dead" again trope which they've already previously done. Much like bloat of superhero shows these days if the writers are braver in pruning characters (especially favorites) I think it would make for a stronger series. As it stands I don't think I'd give it a second viewing and score this two space cars of five.

The Suicide Squad

A high death count makes for a great movie.

They're a fun bunch!

Much better than the previous Suicide Squad, this movie again throws criminals with special abilities into an important yet dangerous mission in a foreign country. It is funny, gory, violent and very entertaining. The main crew are quite likeable this time around, and surprisingly it is Harley Quinn (Margot Robbie) who seems to be the odd-girl out with an unnecessary side plot but she is fantastic as usual so I'll let that slide. Not much else to say other than I highly recommend it and would definitely watch it again! Four starfish out of five!

The Fate of the Furious

Suspension of disbelief in overdrive.

Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel) and crew are quite an accomplished lot now, what with having around 7 movies under their belt. It's for this reason Cypher (Charlize Theron) decides that the only way to best them is to simply turn Dom against them.

The result is a fantastical action packed movie with some crazy stunts, nice action sequences, many unbelievable plot points, graphical hacking (lol), and quite a number of very nice automobiles (which is mandatory in this series). Your suspension of disbelief will be well and truly tested, more so than any previous Furious movie.

This is far from the most ridiculous part.

It's also great that they have plot continuity from the previous films and that there are many returning faces. Definitely entertaining if you can turn your brain off for long enough. I give it 3 crucifix necklaces out of 5 and would definitely watch it again. For best effect, you should at least watch the previous 2 movies in the franchise though.

The Fast and the Furious: Five to Seven

Fast Five

Only one way to quit being a criminal, and apparently that's by doing a big crime.

Carrying on right after the fourth installment, the crew are now all wanted by the police - more so when a "botched job" gets a number of DEA agents killed. Having had enough of this BS the FBI decides to send in their best hunter (Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson) and his team to hunt down those dastardly thieves once and for all. To make matters more interesting, the same botched job also pisses off another wealthy bad guy who is out for blood to get back what is his. Deciding it's time to quit the criminal life, Dom (Vin Diesel) plans one last big heist and assembles a team composed of characters from all the previous movies. For me, especially having watched everything in sequence, this is pretty cool.

I'd be worried too if The Rock got me in a headlock!

It then turns into a little bit like Ocean's Eleven, only with more cars involved and while it also makes for a longer movie it also makes it better! They've added a ton more violence, fighting and gun play here and while they've slowly been upping the kill count I think this one certainly holds the highest so far. While there is less actual racing, the few races present actually have more meaning or are more interesting than the previous ones. I quite liked the cop car one as that was the most level playing field the characters have had for awhile.

I suppose I should also mention that there's a fair bit of Portugese in the film being set in Rio and all, and that Gal Gadot is hot, but the important part is that I give this movie four tires out of five and would definitely watch it again. I even watched all the credits this time to watch the CGI race at the end! All up, this sequel better than the initial outing!

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Furious 6

Where the writers thought... what other vehicles can we throw in there?

Best FBI hunter man (The Rock) is hunting another band of thieves in fast cars, this time with a more military background, but since they are too slippery for him (seriously, does he catch anyone on his own?) he is forced to ask help from the now "retired" Dom and his team. To help convince him he does have an interesting hook - one of Dom's old pals is working for the competition. That, and pardons for his crew if he gets the job done. I quite like the opening credits to this one as it has snippets from all the movies that have come before.

With most of the cast returning from the previous movie, it's pretty cool that they get to combat a rival team this time who are driving modified F1s, and it's refreshing that they aren't going up against "another cartel boss". Luke Evans is a welcome and more hands on bad guy from the previous bunch and while there's certainly still killing and shooting, there's less of that than the previous flick and more focus on hand to hand here. I was most impressed with Gina Carano's fights in particular. Once again there is also awesome CGI and a high volume of vehicular destruction also gets the thumbs up from me.

Good luck catching this!

Despite all this there are quite a number of negatives for me - the main one being some ridiculously over the top action sequences that break suspension of disbelief. There's also an unnecessary trip by one character into "danger" which is basically filler and could have been cut out. I should also mention that the chicks in the London street racing scene are the most conservative so far, which could be a plus or minus depending how you look at it. Ultimately I score this film three and a half tires out of five and... yeah, I'd still watch it again. :P

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Furious 7

The first movie that actually happens after Tokyo Drift.

The big bad brother of the bad guy from the previous movie is the main bad now, and has sworn vengeance on Dom and his team (most of whom return again here). For me he is even better villain than his brother since he mostly works alone, and he's Jason Statham! His intro scene is bloody fantastic. Unfortunately, for a supposedly ultimate deadly assassin he makes ever increasing faulty judgement calls. The main one probably being warning his mark that he's coming for him.

They finally find an excuse to dress up!

Yes, there are car chases here - and again with new vehicles to chase and be chased by them combined with over the top BS CGI physics that I was hoping they'd steer away from but it's almost on the same level as last time. At least the hand to hand combat is epic, this time with Ronda Rousey and Tony Jaa showing off their skill. It's really the flaws of Statham's assassin that get me because ... gah... logic!? Just be sneaky and you'll win! Anywho, I still give it three and a half tires out of five like last time since it was pretty entertaining and yeah, I'd watch it again.

I also was quite touched by all the feels for Paul Walker near the end there, possibly because I watched all the movies in sequence. At the same time I was impressed that they managed to make the rest of the film with body doubles, CG replacements and voice and film snippets for his character. That did get it some bonus points from me.

The Fast and the Furious: 3 & 4

The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift

This movie actually happens somewhere during the credits of Furious 6. :P

There's an all new cast this time around, mainly focusing on an adrenaline and car-racing junkie (Lucas Black) and due to getting into trouble early on is sent to live with his dad in Tokyo. He quickly gets into old habits and gets himself into trouble with yakuza because... Japan! And ultimately learns to take responsibility for his actions. It's a pretty basic plot, but at least the different setting is refreshing. Don't expect to have escaped the "gansta" music though - now you just get it in Japanese. Obviously there's some Japanese spoken too.

Positives: It looks like they learned their lesson from last time and have less "talking while racing" as well as less "special FX while racing" with pretty intense and impressive stunt work happening - mostly focused on drifting as the title might give away. Also, despite being pretty "late" in the chronological order of things because it was made earlier than the in between movies it offers almost no spoilers. What I like most about it is they aren't shy about showing what happens to cars when you crash. There is a -lot- of automotive damage in this movie. I also quite liked the Initial D feel of the mountain race. Han is very cool.

You might not know it yet, but I'm actually the main character.

Negatives: There are also -lots- of party scenes. I mean LOTS (possibly more than the last two movie combined), most of which could have been cut out since they serve just as background while main characters walk from point A to B. This is probably to get the most out of all the scantily clad extras everywhere. Think Miku from the last movie x50. Also, while there is less "talking while driving dangerously", they didn't get rid of it altogether. One of the silliest scenes for me is two characters having a heart to heart while drifting down a mountain at speed, and the "driver" is obviously not driving thanks to her poor position.

All up I think those two sections balance each other out so I'm forced to just give this film two tires out of five. I also have no intention of watching it again.

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Los Bandoleros

Takes the gear to the next level... down. Possibly two levels down.

I'm not sure what the point of this 20 minute little film is as the plot basically focuses on Vin Diesel recruiting people for the next movie below. It also does a pretty poor job of explaining why he is targeting oil - because the price is going up so he's going to give it away ala Robin Hood to the poor.

Logically, if you do that the oil companies would just increase the price even more? Moron. Anyway, there's no racing to be had here and most of the average camera work film is in Spanish. I don't know why, but despite all that I kinda enjoyed the slower pace of it. I guess I've taken a liking to his crew! Still, I can only give this one tire out of five, and don't really have a need to watch it again. You won't miss much for skipping it.

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Fast and Furious

Welcome back Vin. We missed you!

In this fourth film, Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel) is up to his old tricks again with a few familiar faces in the Caribbean. Unfortunately, his decision to try protect his girl friend by leaving her (really, that's a stupid move) goes incredibly bad and leads to him on a vengeance quest again an unknown cartel boss. Cop guy from the first movie is also back and happens to be hunting the same guy so a team up sounds pretty logical, but only after they get their machisimo out of the way.

Sports cars vs 4 Wheel Drives?

Like movie number two, this movie has the bad guy hiring drivers to deliver stuff which happens to be their "in" to the organization - pretty damn convenient if you ask me. Also, you are now treated to Mexican "Gangsta" music. Admittedly I'm getting used to hearing this genre now, which quite made the more regular acoustic songs of Los Bandoleros a refreshing change.

They also learned from the overuse of party scenes from Tokyo Drift and made an interesting, compressed one where you actually are still interested in what's going on. At the same time they kept the car destruction high which is awesome. Anyway I think this one is back on the same level as the first movie so I give it three tires out of five but again, have no interest in giving it a second watch through.

The Fast and The Furious (1 and 2)

[Day 29 of Blaugust 2015!]

The Fast and the Furious

As seen by a non-car enthusiast.

A band of skilled thieves are hijacking shipments on the road because they have the stunt driving skills to do so. Who cares if it's quite reckless, has more variables and is way more dangerous than stealing stationary targets right? Anyway, the cops send forth an undercover agent (Paul Walker) to infiltrate the group of their top suspect: one Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel), who also happens to be involved with illegal street races and such. Complications arise when undercover man starts falling for Dom's sister.

You did not just give away spoilers, did you?

Obviously this flick is for car buffs, which is why I totally skipped out on the entire series previously as I don't even like driving. However, I quite liked the acting, the action filled story, and the pretty good automotive stunt work which is kind of essential in a film such as this. I was a bit impartial to the "gangsta" type music, but I suppose it is most suited to that scene so that's fine. I do give it bonus points for good use of red herrings and having a nameless truck boss who totally kicks everyone's butt at the end. All up I give it three tires out of five, though I'm in no rush to see it again.

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Turbo-Charged Prelude

This six minute music clip (because there are no spoken lines) follows Paul Walker's trek down to Miami which is where the next movie takes place. There's literally nothing that happens so unless you are a fan of this franchise, Paul Walker, or cops wearing plastic bags on their hats then you would be better off skipping it altogether. For those who enjoy "completeness" you can find it here.


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2 Fast 2 Furious

Dey B 2 gansta 4 me.

Really title? Really? Anyway, the cop from last time is back, and since he is still racing in "underground" races this immediately attracts the FBI to recruit him for another undercover job which involves transporting dirty money for some cartel guy. Some silly one liner reason is thrown out as to why this is -the only way- to bust said cartel fellow, but hero cop can't do it alone so he recruits an old buddy (never seen before) who hates his guts.

This new character gets a thumbs up from me as his character progression is pretty likable, as does the pretty cool Tej. I suppose I should also mention that the female cast is more sexualized here too, for no other reason than "hey, they're hot". Might be a problem for some, but that's nothing compared to the rest of the problems.

Appropriate garage attire.

While I do appreciate that the "team" is smaller now and thus has less superfluous characters than number one, there are problems with the actual driving portions for me, which is probably worse if you are a car fanatic. Yes, there are mass driving stunts near the end but for the most part there's heavy use of pretty good FX during the earlier drives. I still would have preferred to see actual driving though? Also, there is a hell of a lot more talking while driving. Ever see a comic panel where Wolverine is in mid air about to stab someone and somehow manages to say three sentences? It's like that. Stupid.

In addition to a weaker story than the first movie I give this outing 2 tires out of 5, and isn't 1 I want to watch again.