Saviour of the World

Part of my XCOM: Defenders of the Earth series!

Sent my four colonels - Panicman, Hitler, Sledge, and Gravedigger along with my most lethal soldier - Major Bald Witch and Major Bondi Vet who had proved his worth in keeping people alive in previous missions to assault the alien temple ship. Upon arrival the ethereal boss began narrating the entire alien's plot and motives. Something to do with ascension. I didn't really care. The squad kept in tight formation right down the center passage of the ship, eliminating pretty much every type of alien encountered thus far. Near the end, having used up most of the med kits they came to a large chamber with a pair of sectopods. Even Bondi Vet couldn't save Col. Sledge from the dual searing beams - one cutting through the colonel's face, the other through his crotch.

Hitler's new found rift ability ended that threat quickly, and after a few more mutons the team advanced across a thin passage to the final chamber where they encountered the ethereal boss, who prompty summoned two elite guards and two other ethereals. In addition he put up some sort of force field, preventing Gravedigger and Bald Witch from entering the chamber!? Panicman ran up the flank and he and Bondi Vet opened up fire on the ethereals, but all their shots were reflected! Gravedigger landed a critical shot on the boss thing with his rifle but it survived, while Bald Witch took out one of the mutons (her only target) with one shot. Hitler mind-controlled the remaining elite for a second - just as he did one of the ethereals destroyed the poor creature with an energy blast.

The aliens then went on the offensive, mind-controlling both Hitler and Bondi Vet. The Australian, unable to resist the powerful psionic energy screamed in pain as he was molecularized into purple nothingness by the boss ethereal. Panicman, the last one active in the room, managed to flank and wound another of the ethereals before it disintegrated him too. Gravedigger was on overwatch since he had no more targets until a shape suddenly moved into view - he fired instinctively but the shot only grazed his target - HITLER! The two psionics stared down each other just a moment before Hitler dismembered Gravedigger with his heavy plasma.

In a blink, Hitler had regained control of his mind - and he took cover on the highest platform to regroup. Meanwhile Bald Witch managed to get a shot off on the ethereal boss, but still not enough to down him. It responded by mind-fucking her to death, exploding her head in an orgasm of blood and brains (aliens are sick). It didn't notice Hitler in the gangway above him though, and in a last ditch attack the german tossed two grenades down killing the alien boss which somehow killed the remaining aliens as well! Alas, this also began killing the temple ship itself as it began implode into a black hole. In order to save the rest of the world, Hitler heroically looked at the door and yelled "go" at his dead allies then raised the vessel into space and caused it to self destruct, killing himself in the process.

He saved your life.

Technically that was a team wipe but mission complete! :P

Authority Equals Asskicking

Part of my XCOM: Defenders of the Earth series!

Soldiers Lost in the Fifth Month: 7
Campaign Total: 20

After a combat filled month it was time for another council meeting where I still netted a grade of "A". Due to my lack of troops I recruited five more (all I could afford since the rest of the funds went into base and firestorm construction). I should point out that I'm just using alien tech from captured aliens, not creating my own yet. Also, all my troops are only using the basic armor, again due to funding cuts! :P  Anyway, the five new squaddies (thanks to the new guy perk at the Officer Training School): Buster Downs, Guy Smiley, Techno Viking, Blunder Buss, and Reloader Jones were led into their first sortie by Panicman to stop abductions from a graveyard in Australia. Aliens and corpses again... I'll not speculate. Despite some morale breaks they handled the "light" level enemy force of mutons and floaters pretty well and with no casualties.

Their reward was being joined by the local graveyard keeper, Captain Whiskey, who got tested right away as he was sent to Vancouver with Alpha, Big Mike, Bald Witch, Hitler and the Italian to handle a terror attack there. Squads of mutons, a new heavy floater type (sounds like a big poo), and a deadly cyberdisk were the enemies and due to them all coming one after another the team was hard pressed to stay alive... let alone save civilians. Unfortunately the Italian took a face full of gatling laser fire sending his flaming and charred corpse into a nearby car (which then exploded). The others took damage too, but they methodically cleaned out the threat and saved 11 out of the 18 civilians in the area. Thankfully there were no chrysallids!

Upon their return they had one more shock, learning that one of their team mates was psychic (thanks to the new Psionics Lab in the base). Gravedigger has more than a big rifle it seems, he also has a big head. Bondi Vet and Panicman, who also underwent the testing were found to be not as gifted. I then sent our first Psi-voodoo guy with his two fellow psi-test compatriots along with Airhead, Whiskey, Derka Derka to stop abductions in a small Nigerian shopping strip. All aliens were neutralized WITHOUT any of my team taking damage! Better yet, Panicman has reached the highest rank of Colonel.

Psychic =/= Psionic.

Out of Options

Part of my XCOM: Defenders of the Earth series!

Panicman, Neumann "Alpha", Ragnar, Torres, Murphy and Derka Derka arrived in South Africa to extract one Thomas Hutch from a quiet district that happened to be CRAWLING with Thin Men. Their group sizes and number of groups were unusually high. This made it extremely dangerous and sniper Murphy was the first to find out just how much. After getting caught in a choking cloud of poison, her cover was destroyed and the next rounds of enemy plasma fire completely severed an arm and a leg - her lifeless broken body panicking some of the others. Managed to still sweep the whole area before both Ragnar and Torres also succumbed to the Thin Man poison, vomiting up all of their insides on the street. The rest of the team, plus Hutch and his bodyguards got out ok though.

Cars do not make good cover in this game.

Panicman's work was not over though, as he was sent next to stop abductions on a bridge in Sydney, Australia - bringing Airhead, the Italian, Big Mike, Greene, and McIntyre who bought the farm early when a muton exploded the car she was taking cover behind. The rest of the team were all injured during the encounter against the squads of mutons and thin men with Big Mike taking the worst of it - at least they made it back to the infirmary. This was directly followed by a terror attack in Leeds, UK. With all my other soldiers dead or injured it was up to Ikeda, Gravedigger, Greene, the Italian, Alpha, and Hitler to save civilians on an overpass.

The area was heavy with muton activity, and after wiping out the first squad the team ran into a bad combination of two berserkers and a squad of chrysalids. After using up all the explosives they had both berserkers were still up, leaving Greene and Ikede to lure the brutes away from the others in a desperate attempt to finish them off. It didn't work. The pair jumped upon a woman each and began pounding them with their massive fists behind the cab they took cover behind. As Dr. Vahlen knows, some things just can't survive that amount of fisting. The remaining troops managed to finish off the berserkers afterwards, as well as a few more gun toting mutons, another squad of hungry chrysalids, and a number of zombies that had been impregnated with chrysalid eggs. Out of 18 civilians, they saved 6. Mission complete!

I Respect you as a Fighter

Part of my XCOM: Defenders of the Earth series!

Sent Panicman, the Italian, Big Mike, Bald Witch, Gravedigger, Ikede to stop abductions in Germany where they encountered a new type of alien - the brutish, soldier-caste called Muttons. Erm. I mean Mutons. So all this time I was just fighting their scouts? Great. The big guys are pretty tough but easy enough to hit and to down making them quick work for my organized team, despite their jetpack boy helpers. The worst part was opening a door with a Cyberdisk sitting on the otherside, fortunately every one hit that round - especially the boys with the HEAT ammo.

Having secured the area they gained another solder - Adolf Hitler, who would see action almost immediately in Marseille - accompanied by Panicman, the Italian, Big Mike, Hughes and McIntyre. It was a library block being terrorized by chrysilids. LOTS of them, and between them genestealers and the zombies they make (which then make more monsters) the team could only save 9 of 18 civilians, having to withdraw back out to the street to deal with the swarm at one point. Early in the piece Hughes misjudged the speed of the bastards and was beheaded for her mistake, but she was avenged.

Heck of a way to wrap up an otherwise quiet month in any case, as the next council meeting drew to a close giving me another grade of "A". I must be doing something right!

Soldiers Lost in the Fourth Month: 4
Campaign Total: 13

A UFO then landed in the USA - a big one. Sent Okada, Neumann, McCarthy, Bald Witch, Bondi Vet (wielding our first plasma rifle) and Lucky Jew to check it out. It was full of mutons, including one badass muton that didn't bother with a gun! Unfortunately David, the Lucky Jew wasn't so lucky this time as he was flanked by unexpected muton reinforcements and unceremoniously shot in side of the head. Bondi Vet managed to keep everyone else alive with medkits and with good positioning and a ton of good luck eliminated not only the muton soldiers but their three sectoid commanders as well. Plasma rifle is handy!

It's a muton! Erm I mean a mutton?

A Little Bit of Conversation

Part of my XCOM: Defenders of the Earth series!

Dr. Vahlen killed the captive during her "interrogation", and now she wants another one, specifically an alien pilot. With a stroke of luck a UFO had landed in Japan so I sent valkyries Ikede and Murphy with Bald Witch and newbies Ragnar the Red (another Viking) and ex-terrorist Derka Derka. Despite encountering heavy resistance from sectoids, floaters and thin men they managed to capture said pilot while only suffering minor injuries (well, in Derka's case severe - but he lived).

While Vahlen and Shen "talked" to the outsider I killed time by sending Mister Mustachio, Panicman, the Italian, Cosmos and Airhead to a trainyard in Brazil where a floater army was abducting commuters. Easily put an end to that safely and quickly through good overwatch fire and by the time they got back the captive was dead and Shen wanted to construct a "key" out of its remains.

Oookay.

With most of Europe on the verge of total panic and the rest of the world not far behind I let them go ahead and do whatever with our remaining funds. It's actually very surprising how often this project that is "protecting the world" is bankrupt. Still, it turned out to be a good call because whatever they did - they managed to locate a large alien base in Asia! Damned sneaky aliens. This time we're going to take the fight to them!

My Churro, Your Taco

Part of my XCOM: Defenders of the Earth series!

Soldiers Lost in the Second Month: 2
Campaign Total: 9

After selling a surplus of scopes to Russia to help them with some missile launch, it was time for another council meeting and the end of month two. Thanks to last minute satellite launches everyone was still onboard with the XCOM project giving me a grade of "A" again, but those little panic bars just seem to keep creeping up. A large UFO made an appearance not long after but my little fighter plane had no chance to shoot that one down so I ordered it back while it could still fly. Back in the base I -FINALLY- have my officer training school and can now send FIVE operatives on the field.

Just what I need, because Dr. Vahlen's wailings were getting too annoying and it was time to capture one of the bastards. Next contact was at a gas station in Mexico where floaters and thin men were enjoying burritos I suppose. I sent veterans Panicman, Mister "Nuke" Mustachio, Big Mike, Gravedigger and David "the lucky Jew" because he got to carry the tazer. :P

Taking cover next to cars and pumps at a gas station sounded like a catastrophic plan but it surprisingly worked very well. With suppressing fire from Panicman, accurate sniping from Gravedigger and well placed grenades and rockets from heavies Big Mike and Mustachio the aliens lost their cover pretty quick, followed by their lives. The Lucky Jew even managed to taze one before almost getting killed himself, yet on one HP he killed two more bastards with his pistol and flanked a thin man for a point blank shotgun blast.

Mission complete! Excellent performance all around if I do say so myself, and finally Dr. Vahlen is happy. I saw her singing and skipping past my office door with a large bottle of lube in hand. That poor, poor alien we captured though...

Dr. Dolly Vahlen is ready to begin the "interrogation".

Alien Necromancy

Part of my XCOM: Defenders of the Earth series!

Nigeria called, and no - it wasn't to try phish me a million dollars. It was because the aliens were digging up the dead bodies in a cemetery there, I can only assume because they were having major issues killing living humans. Sent a sniper heavy Valkyrie team composed of Ikede, Airhead, Bald Witch and sole assault Punk Chick. They sorted that mess out quick smart since the open ground made for the perfect playground for the snipers while Punk Chick took control of the central tomb. Their reward was a black sniper dude I call Gravedigger with a massive ... rifle. I'm certain they enjoyed their trip back.

Just as well because the alarm went off again, and the global news showed the aliens were altering their tactics. Punk Chick geared up again this time with Panicman, Mustachio and David to stop a terror strike on Canada. Almost immediately they came upon a pair of incredibly fast moving bug critters called GENESTEALERS... I mean, Chrysallids - literally running up to Punk Chick's face. A point blank blast from her shotgun only grazed the creature (1 dmg!) but lucky for her the rest of the team had enough firepower to bring it down.

The second one abruptly altered course to feast on a nearby civilian before being blasted to hell. This is where Punk Chick's luck ran out as suddenly the dead man rose as a zombie right next to her and in a sudden move tore out her insides and began eating them. David and Panicman put the reanimated bastard back on the floor, then the team swept up the remaining murderous jetpack boys to finish the mission.

Mission complete. Of the 18 civilians in the area initially, they saved 10. That's a pretty good result!

Probably wouldn't even have been an issue if there were more strippers in the area.

Raiders of the Downed UFOs

Part of my XCOM: Defenders of the Earth series!

Finalising a trade to Australia (who wanted to buy alien alloys) the UFO alert went off again, this time in Japan. A bigger ship than last time! Fortunately I had constructed an interceptor there and our ace pilot Vince McCool was visiting the region at the time. Looked like a nasty dogfight but Vince shot down that bastard in the end despite taking a ton of damage himself. Deployed Mister Mustachio and Panicman along with newbies Cosmos and David.

Seemed this ship contained Jetpack boys AND Thin men along with the little dudes. The first group was a non issue, eliminated by overwatch fire mainly while the thin men got to enjoy high explosives of the rocket and grenade variety. It's annoying then that as the team advanced on the ship Cosmos was downed by overwatch fire from the normal little dudes, because he didn't DODGE!

Even the aliens facepalmed.

After teaching those SOBs a lesson my remaining three men busted into that UFO, surrounded the alien pilot and summarily executed him (Dr. Vahlen: WHYYYYYY!?). At least it seems I'm improving with these UFO raids. The following one that landed (not shot down) was tactically cleaned out by David, Big Mike, the Italian and Mustachio with no casualties through liberal use of explosives and lure and kill tactics. As a celebratory gesture I let them explode the ship. (Dr Vahlen: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! MY RESEARCH!)

Missions Complete, and somehow Cosmos actually survived (guess I finished before he bled out)! Despite all these victories though it seems like most of the world is on the verge of panic. Oh well, I'm sure that's not important. Right?

Valkyrie Squad

Part of my XCOM: Defenders of the Earth series!

Soldiers Lost in the First Month: 7

After an easy mission in Brisbane where Panicman, Mister Mustachio, the Italian (newbie) and Punk Chick (newbie) literally exploded all opposition it was the end of the first month and the bald man was impressed with my work, giving me a grade of "A". What is this? School? Anyway with the new month also came my new batch of rookies that Bradford kept nagging me to get, what with my casualty rate and all. Another abduction mission in Russia let me test the mettle of half of them I call the Valkyrie squad (all female).

Just like in Charmed! Wait, what? Aren't they witches?

Composed of Murphy, Wood, Greene and Ikede the team deployed at some courtyard with higher elevation to the street. Always a good start. Moved up into cover to discover a new type of alien - JETPACK BOYS. Ok, or floaters. I prefer Jetpack boys. Gunned down one just as a pair of little fellas came up from the road. Too bad for them the jetpack boys decided to flee, leaving the two little fellas at the mercy of a squad of psycho gun toting sheilas.

After painting the place green with their blood the team began leap-frog crossing the nearby footbridge, finding and eliminating the remaining jetpack boys. Once there another two little ones and another squad of floaters showed up to the East. With not much cover on the bridge the team split in two, Murphy and Ikede sprinting forward into cover and Greene and Wood backtracking to a flanking position. The aliens caught wind of this though and despite mostly missing everyone else, Wood was shot dead through the eye (through a car) panicking Greene into a state of uselessness.

Fortunately the other two held it together and marched up out of cover to the enemy flank while lobbing grenades. It was enough to obliterate all the remaining alien scum. Mission complete! Meanwhile back in the base, Dr. Vahlen was frustrated I keep shooting or exploding the aliens that she wants to interrogate. LOL.

Le Le Le Le Le Le Bombe!

Part of my XCOM: Defenders of the Earth series!

The aliens have planted a bomb in France. Why? No idea, but it's up to XCOM to stop them! This time I sent Panicman with my other rostered rookies, Erik the Viking, Big Mike and Jill the Airhead. The area, two roads with a small convenience store in between with a warehouse at the back, was littered with alien bomb generators that power the bomb which my team could diffuse as they advanced, delaying the bomb's ultimate explosion. Yep. Aliens are stupid.

Counter-Terrorists Win!

At a glance I figured the bomb would be at the furthest point away from me so Panicman and company charged up immediately towards the loading bay of the warehouse at the back, ignoring the convenience store altogether. A squad of the little alien dudes got startled as they approached, taking cover in a parked truck and the warehouse proper. It didn't matter though since a lucky grenade from Big Mike blew up the wall two of them were hiding behind, killing them AND a third one that had mind melded with one of the exploded ones.

A grenade from Airhead and good shooting from the Viking eliminated two more then Panicman took care of the stragglers (point blank) and disarmed the bomb just as incoming x-rays appeared. No not fish, that's what they call the aliens. Thin men. A whole bunch of them. Overwatch fire injured two of them and Panicman, who deftly evaded being shot at through a skylight, took cover and finished one off, Big Mike shooting across the rooftops to slay the other.

Two more thin men showed up, one blasting Erik through the chest - killing him outright. The other exchanged fire and wounds with Mike, while Airhead tried to approach to capture it - but fell short on range, so I told her to switch to her autorifle. She then promptly missed every shot from 10 meters away. Good thing Panicman was on the ball, eliminating the thin man from the roof as he jumped down with overwatch fire and then lobbing a grenade at the last guy in a cold calculated fashion.

Mission complete and promotions all around! Ironically Airhead, who killed nothing this round with her gun and missed every shot was given the consignment of... SNIPER. I'm surprised the aliens haven't already won actually.

Scrambled Eggs... from Space

Part of my XCOM: Defenders of the Earth series!

After being nagged by Bradford to launch another satellite somewhere (I picked Japan) I got to meet the other research staff in the base, Mr. Shen the elderly drug addled head of engineering and Dr. Vahlen who seemed intent about capturing an alien alive so that she could do what they did to her previously. She's a little crazy. Especially given that she's already putting on a plastic/latex glove whose sleeve goes up to her shoulder.

Thankfully a UFO alert ends the awkwardness and I scramble one of our jets (we only have two!) to intercept. Obviously it's piloted by Vince McCool since the little craft has no chance against his superior moves. As soon as it crashes I send a team out to contain the site right away but with Mister Mustachio still injured it is up to Panicman to lead the team, this time composed of the Jew, Bald Witch and Crazy Bastard who gets unceremoniously shot in the head almost immediately after landing.

With a combination of good grenade throws and lots of woody terrain to flank the little bastards they are all made to eat bullets in short order, especially since the engineering team hadn't finished researching the tazer tech to capture one yet (Mr. Shen was too high at the time). The UFO pilot was a little scary being half energy and all, managing to behead the Jew as he emerged from the crashed ship but even he couldn't withstand bullets in the face and a grenade in his ethereal genitals.

Tasty.

Mission complete! I'm getting good at this!

Recover Miss Sing Person

Part of my XCOM: Defenders of the Earth series!

The hiss of the dropship doors ended with a thud as the four man team led by Mister Mustachio deployed out towards the park. Their objective: to rescue some woman named Anna Sing who had escaped alien captivity. Wasn't long before they ran into their first opponent, a "thin man" who opened fire from the otherside poisoning Emmet with his first shot. Mustachio replied by rocketing that guy in the face and led the squad forward on the left flank, the Russian and Emmet following down the middle and the Niggeress on the right startling three little aliens near a cop car. One managed to wound her with its pistol, and she responded by shotgunning two of them in the face.

The last one was gunned down by the Russian as he then reached the panicked VIP and began leading her back. A second thin man then appeared on top of a bus and instantly came under overwatch fire from the waiting Mustachio and finished off by Emmet from the park square. All was going well as the team made their way back when suddenly a third thin man, the boss no doubt, was there waiting for them.

Similar but different.

His first shot went right through Mustachio's jugular, dropping him to the ground. The rest of the highly trained team then all shat their pants and panicked, with Emmet hiding behind a fountain, the Russian (whom I shall now call Panicman) shooting AT THE VIP but missing (fortunately), and the Niggeress dropping her shotgun and bending over while weeping like a child. The thin boss took advantage of this and shoved his gun into her ass then pulled the trigger, killing the stupid bitch instantly.

The VIP decided to make a break for it, sprinting into the open but not quite reaching the drop ship. Panicman managed to fumble a grenade out at the thin boss but it survived the blast and took aim at the civilian. It fired but at the last moment Emmet did a true slow mo heroic move by eating all the bullets himself, his body exploding into a shower of blood. Panicman then panicked some more and with a loud scream unloaded all of his remaining ammo into the thin boss... miracoulously killing it.

Mission complete! Anna Sing, Panicman and the not yet dead Mister Mustachio returned to base.