Showing posts with label Nern. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Nern. Show all posts

Wednesday, 26 February 2020

LISA: An Acquired Smell

[Part of the Wasted Land story]

Using the bike to jump small chasms, the squad makes it to where Lisa is supposedly being held - a run down factory. Inside they fight the Manes Club, guys with ridiculous hair who take issue to Brad's baldness, and rescue the girl. Only it isn't Lisa - it's a dolled up truck driver named Fardy who joins the gang.

Fardy knows how to fix a nearby bridge that the RANDOs destroyed so while he gets to work, Brad and company explore a little more - accidentally killing a bunch of orphans by setting them on fire and then beating up wild man "Beastborn"  into slavery (he joins the gang too). They also save another man, Percy, who while taking a dump is attacked by a spider. Percy is so thankful he joins the team without cleaning himself up. Percy smells. Beastborn likes it.

Once the bridge is done, Brad, Nern, Olan, Rage, Fardy, Beastborn and Percy cross it - finding one of Brad's old friends who admits he's one of the ones that sold Lisa out. Brad brutally beats him with a spiked club while everyone else watches.

Definitely channeling his inner Negan.

They should have watched the hills instead, as they are all soon jumped by the masked Joy gang. Pinning down Brad, their leader gives him a choice: let him cut off Brad's arm, or kill Nern. Brad chooses to let Nern die, because Brad is a worthless and terrible person. The Joy gang slits Nern's throat and leaves, while the rest of Brad's gang starts to smell like Percy.

Insight: Nern's finger laser is useful, but not as useful as Beastborn's paralyzing whip.

Tuesday, 25 February 2020

LISA: Hot Wheels

[Part of the Wasted Land story]

Following the trail of bodies, Brad finds a man cowering in a tree. Cowering from a squirrel. Using his karate he obliterates the squirrel and saves the man, Terry Hintz - a tutor before things went to shit. The journey together briefly before being jumped by Brad's old bullies - the Bully gang.

They force him to choose: either give up all the gear they have, or give up Terry. Brad gives them Terry, because Terry is annoying. Also because Brad is a worthless and terrible friend. While the bullies have fun with Terry, Brad continues on his journey but faces a Joy withdrawal, weakening him severely and making him easy prey to dark cave dwellers who stroke him and make him feel weird (I'm not making that up).

I feel... weird...

Fortunately he is saved by two more guys: Nern the pistoleer and Olan the archer. At a nearby pub they Brad also hires Rage Metalhead the luchador to round out the team - handy against the roaming Barrel boys crew. They then help the Schoolboys gang get rid of encroaching RANDO thugs and are rewarded with access to their generator. Brad pours the generator oil into emptied beer bottles to make fire bombs and uses the explosives on a nearby titan monster at the playground to kill it and steal its bicycle.

Insight: Empty bottles are handy. Always pick them up!